Get out of my (own) way!

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Rosalie didn’t remember much before her feet touched the rainbow bridge. She looked up, to find that her left hand was held by a winged woman of great strength and beauty. In the woman’s hand was a sword, but it was not pointed at her. She blinked. Was that a… Valkyrie?

The woman led Rosalie to a stop at the highest point of the rainbow’s arch. She looked down at the mortal world below her, and then back at the winged woman’s face. “Why are we stopping here?” she asked, a little confused.

Because you have not yet earned your place in the halls of Valhalla. The Valkyrie paused and looked over her shoulder at the halls that rose out of the mist. You have not lived up to your potential, Lady Knight. There is so much more that you could do, so much more that you could accomplish. You do not yet belong in those hallowed halls.

Rosalie frowned. Beneath her, the colors in Bifrost, the bridge, shifted and pulsed with life and power. Around her and the Valkyrie, many others passed as vague shadowy forms, but she was only aware of the guide who had brought her to this point. The guide who was speaking very bluntly about Rosalie’s strengths and overwhelming weaknesses.

“I try to get out of my own way, but it’s difficult to see the path ahead of me.”

The valkyrie’s eyes narrowed, and then the ethereal woman let out a laugh that shook the bridge beneath Rosalie’s feet. It is because you have your eyes closed to what could be. You refuse to acknowledge your own strength and your own power.

Rosalie growled with frustration and gestured angrily at the Halls of Vallhalla on the other side of the bridge, her way blocked by the Valkyrie. “Then why have you even brought me to this point? Why are you bringing me this far and then telling me that I can’t go any further?”

So that you can see what you are missing out on if you don’t wake up and figure out your destiny. You will never be there if you keep using your injuries and other circumstances as excuses for not performing your best.

Rosalie shrugged angrily, and tossed her blond hair back over her shoulder. She glanced down at her clothes. She had thought she was in a nightgown earlier, but now she was in her ring gear. Only it wasn’t quite her gear. It was armor that looked like her gear, and it was covered in blood. Most of it was probably her own.

“Am I dead? Well, half-dead if you’re not letting me into Valhalla and talking about my destiny.”

The Valkyrie shook her head. No. Although it may seem like it. And you might wish you were dead when you wake up.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Rosalie frowned, and her face scrunched up with frustration.

Don’t worry about it. You’ll figure it out. There are other things to worry about. You have to rise up, Rosalie Knight. You have to rise up and claim what is yours; it will not fall into your lap. The Valkyrie pointed her sword at Rosalie now, and the girl trembled a little. Will you rise up and claim your place on this path? Will you strike me down so that you may pass?

Rosalie noticed, then, that she was carrying a sword of her own. Had it been there before? Did it even matter? All that mattered was that she had it now. She raised it. It was her sword from the ring… but instead of being a flimsy prop, it had substance to it. And edges. Those were definitely sharpened edges. She eyed the Valkyrie with wariness. “Are you sure?”

The winged woman didn’t reply with words. Instead, she swung her sword at Rosalie’s neck. The lady knight was forced to defend herself or lose her head. Without thinking, she brought the sword around just in time to block the swing. Sparks flew as the swords clanged together, and Rosalie shivered. This was serious business. Storm clouds gathered around them, and the sky darkened by many degrees. Lightning flashed, and was followed almost instantly by the loud crash of thunder.

I AM YOUR SELF-DOUBT. I AM YOUR FEAR. I AM EVERY EXCUSE THAT YOU HAVE EVER MADE. STRIKE ME DOWN, KNIGHT!

The valkyrie’s face transformed in a frightening mish-mash of images. Rosalie saw many faces flash before her eyes. Some, like James Shark, Robbie Hart, Ethan, and her mother, were familiar to her. Others, she didn’t recognize, but they were terrifying, twisted faces.

Faces, Rosalie realized, that she had made in the mirror after every perceived defeat.

She didn’t think. She struck at the Valkyrie’s center of mass with the point of her sword, only to have the weapon bend in a comical arch as it hit solid armor. She had a chance to let her fear show, before the Valkyrie echoed her own move, and stabbed her straight through the gut. Rosalie felt the point of the sword pierce her back, and the world began to go black. Bifrost, the rainbow bridge, dissolved under her feet, and she fell with the guardian of Valhalla laughing at her.

Rosalie jerked up to sitting. She sat there for a minute, panting and in a cold sweat with her fingers clenching the sheets tightly. Her eyes darted around the room as she tried to regain her bearings. Her room. This was her room, in her house. She wasn’t falling hundreds of feet into the Baltic as a sword-kabob.

She groaned as the initial adrenaline burst faded, and flopped back down into her pillows. Her heart began to slow from its painful racing, and she was finally able to breathe a little easier. “Dafuq was that?” she muttered softly to herself, squeezing her eyes shut again. Her abdomen hurt, and she winced. Cramps? Yes. It felt like cramps, and not a blade through the gut. Maybe that was what led to the nightmare.

She shoved the sheets aside and stepped out into the hallway without looking at her clock. She could hear Andrew snoring in his room down the hall, but other than that, the house was still and silent. No battles, no Valkyries, no Vikings. She stepped into the bathroom, and helped herself to as many ibuprofen as she felt was safe, before heading down the stairs.

Outside, the sun was starting to rise, causing the skies to turn a twilight lavender rather than the midnight blue of deeper night. She sighed. No point in going back to bed at this point. Instead, she started coffee brewing, and sat down at the kitchen table.

The dream had given her a lot to think about, now that she was over the initial shock of waking up like that. She had to think about the excuses that she had been making lately, about her sub-par performances. About how she hadn’t been bringing her A-game since returning from the injury.

Why was she holding herself back?

“Hell if I know.” She answered her own question out loud with an exasperated sigh, and tugged her hair back out of her face. The coffee was starting to percolate, gurgling behind her on the counter, but it needed to go faster. Today was going to be a long day.

Three hours later, she stood in front of the Scandinavian heritage section in the public library. She had done a pretty good shoot for the mini Path to Valhalla a few months ago, but she wanted to make something special out of this one. She had a book open in her hands, and in staring down at it, she missed the fact that she was not alone in the stacks anymore.

“Sorry to interrupt you, but… I mean, are you… Rosalie Knight?”

She looked up from her book so quickly that she nearly gave herself whiplash. Standing there next to her was a man with long dark hair, pulled back into a neat ponytail. He wore a black T-shirt with some band’s name and logo on it, and dark jeans. She didn’t actually look, but she was sure those were combat boots in her peripheral vision, too. He was… Metal. That was the only word she really had for the way he looked, and he looked good. He was about her age, and she chided herself for thinking he was attractive. She had other concerns right now.

She smiled. “Yes. That’s me. Just doing some research.” She gestured at the book that she was reading. “I guess nobody would really expect to find me in a library, right? Since I could do most of my research online.”

He laughed, and she decided it was a pleasant sound. “Yeah, well, nobody would expect to find me in a library, either. But I needed to do some research for our next album and Google just wasn’t giving me the feeling I wanted.” He grinned, but the warning bell had already been set off in her head. He was in a band… After Ethan she was wary of musicians. “I’m Josh, by the way. Good to meet you.”

She smiled as he turned away, a couple shelves down. It seemed that he was researching Vikings too. “It’s good to meet you too… would you like to go out for coffee sometime?” She blinked. What the hell? That was not what she had intended to say, but it wasn’t as though she could take the words back.

He seemed to be as caught off guard as she was. He blinked at her for a moment, and then grinned. “Sure. That sounds like fun. What’s your number?”

The rest of the day went by in sort of a blur. She and Josh got to know each other a little before he had to go, and she continued to sit at a table in an isolated corner of the library. A couple of people got brave enough to approach her for an autograph, and she had to chuckle at it. She wasn’t used to the way she was starting to be recognizable, and she wasn’t used to handing out autographs. She wasn’t used to being successful.

She stopped, suddenly, after putting the books away on the cart for reshelving. She frowned, and ran her fingers through her hair. “Is THAT my problem?” The question to herself made her laugh, and she was still chuckling as she exited the library. She had what she needed; now she just needed to put it all together.

“I know, I know, I need to stop letting my libido get the better of me. What am I going to do, Cara? I don’t really want to start dating again after what happened with Ethan. I always seem to find either the crazy ones or the misogynists. I don’t want to try again.”

Rosalie had the phone pressed to her ear, and her fingers pinched the bridge of her nose as she listened to her best friend’s reply. She let out a sigh, releasing some of the negative tension that had built up inside of her.

“I guess you have a point there. But Andrew already fills that role well enough, at least until I can find someone else with more experience.”

Rosalie tilted her head to hold the phone against her shoulder and moved to the fridge while Cara droned on. She opened it, and stared at the selection of food inside. It was time to go grocery shopping. Maybe she could drag Andrew along.

“Yes, Cara, I know. I just feel like I’m drifting. I need a purpose. I need something more than showing up to the ring, fighting, and then going home. I worry about losing my job sometimes because I’m not an interesting enough character.”

Another pause, while Cara replied and Rosalie continued to stare blankly at the groceries.

“Trust me, I’m working on it. But finding someone to take me under their wing is so much easier said than done. You of all people should know that.”

Her face darkened, and she reached for a beer. Held on to it for a few moments. Put it back in the fridge. Took out a cup of yogurt instead. Listened to Cara’s words a little longer. Put the yogurt back in the fridge, closed it, and opened the freezer. Hallelujah, Andrew hadn’t eaten all the Ben and Jerry’s.

“I’m not getting in my own—shit, yes I am.” Rosalie sighed. “Fine. I’ll figure something out. I promise. Yes, I’ll hurry. Thanks for talking sense into me.”

She waited until Cara hung up, and then she set her own phone down on the counter. The lid came off the Ben & Jerry’s like a velociraptor going for the tasty meat morsel in Jurassic Park. A spoon found its way into her hand, and she grumbled as she dug into the Cherry Garcia.

If she was hearing from multiple sources that she needed to get out of her own way, maybe it was time to listen up already.