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 |  Subject: Call upon your gods, pray for them to help you  Sat Jun 23, 2012 10:11 am | |
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It’s my time to shine.
So here we are. It’s my first week under the employment of IWF, and already I’ve got some enemies.
It doesn’t make a difference to me who likes me or who don’t. Personally, I’d rather have everybody hate me. I wouldn’t have to deal with any of the bullshit drama of having friends here or having to put up with listening to some of them bitching because they don’t think they’re getting the push that they deserve.
It’s easier this way.
If everybody hates me here, then I’ve already started off where I want. I’ve never really been the guy to go out there do what the fans want or what my followers want me to do. There’s some of these guys back here behind the curtains that would do anything just to get the love from society that they never had in life.
Those same guys are the ones that just make me sick. I mean, hell. You can go out there time after time and work your ass off just to try and win, and hope that if you don’t win that the people are still going to love you. It only takes another younger, better looking, and better talented guy to come in and steal all that limelight from you.
It’s just a fucking waste of time to me.
If I go out there, not giving a goddamn with what I do or who I piss off, it’s just going to make it that much easier on me. I don’t have to prove anything to anybody. I just go out there and take what’s mine. That’s the way I’ve always done it, and that’s the way I’ll continue to do it.
I know I said it didn’t take me long to sign with IWF, but there were some heated negotiations that went on behind the scenes.
I’ll probably get fined for talking about it here, but I really don’t give a fuck.
The thing was, there were a few members of the board and management in the IWF that weren’t too comfortable with signing someone who had just got released from jail after a grueling trial facing murder charges. For some reason, there’s people here that run the show think that I still did it.
Fuck them.
Even if they are right.
Anyways, after my manager had meeting after meeting with them, one of the head honchos here decided that no matter the cost I would be a good signing talent-wise and public as well. He knows that I did it too, but he thinks it is good for business.
And after I signed, it took a few weeks before we could agree on a time to get me back in the ring. There were places that they wanted me to be that I didn’t want myself to be in. I still had to hit the gym and the ring to work off a few months of rust, nothing major. But other than that, there were some fucks that write the checks that thought it would be a good idea to have me fighting for the common man. They wanted me to be the guy that beat the justice system after so much had been pinned against me that I still overcame it all just because I’m that good of a person.
Fuck that.
The day that I step up and fight for the common man or the love of society is the day that I slit my own throat and bleed on the love letters of my adoring fans.
Reporter1: Jackyl, what are your plans here in IWF?
Huh?
Reporter1: Jackyl, did you hear my question?
Fuck, I’m so damn lost in my own thoughts I forgot I was even at this goddamn press conference.
No, I didn’t. Repeat the question.
I said, what are your plans here in IWF?
To win, obviously. But more in detail, I want to take out every single person that steps out from that curtain, no matter who it is.
Reporter2: Jackyl, is there anyone in particular that you would like to challenge first?
I don’t have to make open challenges to anyone. I’m almost certain that there will be a lot of guys gunning after me just because of their own personal beliefs on if I’m truly guilty or not. But most importantly, if I was a champion in IWF I’d be on the lookout.
Reporter1: You spoke of some of the wrestler’s beliefs on the court’s verdict on your case. Is there any way you could answer the question on everyone’s mind, did you really do it or not?
Really? Fucking idiot.
First off, if I wasn’t innocent I would be a fucking idiot to admit that I did it on live television then land myself back in jail. What kind of moron would ask a stupid question like that? Second off, there shouldn’t be any other option to what everyone is thinking the verdict is. I’m out of prison, the case was corrupted. It’s done and over, I am a free man. Next fucking question.
Rick Christian: I think The Jackyl has answered enough questions for now, we’re almost out of time for this contract signing. Mr. Brandon MacDonald couldn’t be here due to other obligations, but his part of the contract has already been signed. All that we are lacking now would be for The Jackyl to sign his portion and for me to sign as witness.
Reporter2: Mr. Christian! Mr. Christian! Can you tell us why exactly that Mr. Macdonald is not here for this press conference to sign on his next big star.
Let’s here what lame excuse he has for this one.
Rick Christian: As I said a moment ago, he had other obligations at this time.
What he means is, Brandon Macdonald doesn’t believe that signing a man who has been convicted of murder in the past is good for business. He has let his personal beliefs cloud his judgment for his business mind.
Rick Christian: No! That is not true. Mr. Macdonald is a very busy man, and this contract signing was put into haste by Mr. Matthews to have it taken care of as soon as possible.
You really think they believe that?
Rick Christian: Mr. Repper, it would do good for you to tell these good people the truth and not make up false allegations about one of your superiors in this company. Now, could you please sign here?
That pencil necked fuck thinks he’s a big shot just because he’s the fucking CEO.
The Jackyl stands up abruptly causing a few shocked gasps in the crowd and making Rick Christian take a step back. The Jackyl rips the mounted microphone from the table and faces Rick Christian.
Let’s get one fucking thing straight right here right now. The Mr. Repper you’re referring to, as in Jack T. Repper died in prison, you got that? The only name I am ever going to respond to from here on out and the only name that anyone can call me by is The Jackyl? Do you understand that? I don’t care if you’re the CEO, if you’re the Chairman of the Board, if you’re the owner, or even if you’re the fucking Pope. Nobody, and I mean nobody tells me what to fucking do, and nobody calls me by that name! Are we clear or am I going to have to take this microphone and shove it so far up your ass that everyone of us can hear your thoughts?
Jackyl, I meant no disrespect. Now, if you would please sign this contract here we can be on our way.
Some businessman he is, I barely cut loose on the guy and he buckled.
The Jackyl slams the microphone down on the table and grabs the pen. He signs the contract and so does Rick Christian. Rick Christian shows the contract’s signatures to the camera and extends his hand to The Jackyl. The Jackyl spits in Rick Christian’s hand and walks away.
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Everybody’s gotta learn the hard way.
So right now, the whole IWF world is buzzing about me completely disrespecting the fedheads on live TV. Everybody’s tweeting up about how The Jackyl is an asshole and The Jackyl has to be guilty of what he was in jail for.
Here’s a tip for all of your keyboard badasses, grow a set and get outside once in a while.
This ain’t my first rodeo in pissing off my bosses. Hell, I think the only reason I get a job is to piss off a boss or fuck with them every second that I’m employed. Sometimes, they’ve got the balls to fire me. But most of the time, I can do whatever the hell I want, whenever the hell I want.
I can already tell that the second part of that is going to be true here.
I mean hell, who is going to stop me? The World Champion? That fucking pansy ass couldn’t even tie my wrestling boots. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it a thousand times more: There’s nobody in this federation that’s even capable of keeping up with me.
I can count on one hand the amount of people that I might break a sweat over, but even then I doubt it.
I’ve watched IWF for months now and it’s been the same old story. Only now, there’s the Natural Law that’s came into the equation and spiced things up a bit. But what have we been watching for months now?
Thank fucking God that James Shark left. I think I’ve met 3 year old kids with autism that have better grammar than he did. Is that what the world wants? A world champion that can act like the worst possible stereotype a black man can have and still be popular? It’s fucking ri-goddamn-diculous if you ask me.
Now, we’ve got a World Champion who probably hasn't even broken a bone in his fucking life, probably not even broken a fingernail for that matter. Perfection Personified, that’s what he calls himself. Step in the ring with me kid, I guarantee you that your pretty little face would never be the same again. You’d have to have facial reconstructive surgery just for them to even guess at who you used to be.
Who else we got on the list here, Hostyle Jones? That punk has been on a role lately, I’ll give him that but who has he had to beat lately anyways? A couple of old wannabe-devils who are way past their prime? Now he’s going up against the High Impact Champion, a second generation superstar Robbie Hart. If that’s all it takes to get a title shot around here, then fuck sign me up. I’ll take both of those old-asses on at the same time and end both of their fucking careers.
Hostyle Jones is one of those cats that I just can’t fucking stand. They try to live their life in the limelight of the fans by being the ultimate underdog. There’s nothing that the kid does that even impresses me in the least.
Sure, he can talk for hell and ever in his promos, but there’s no meat to it, it’s all just fluff added to it. He’s just pissed because he never got any attention growing up by his parents or his friends, and he’s just trying to make up for it by being whatever society wants at that moment. If they changed to wanting to see a guy wrestle in a pink tutu and recite lines from old Johnny Cash songs, he’d do it.
Oh yeah, I about forgot. Robbie Hart. Now this guy, is a grade A pussy. He hired another guy to kill his unborn children. That’s fucked up on a whole new level. Sure, I’ve killed some fucks in my time before, but jesus, a baby? If you didn’t want to be with the bitch saw the heels on her shoes in half then go down some stairs and watch the fun unfold, man.
But instead you took the pussy route and hired somebody to do what you couldn’t. Sure, it was a bold move, but it just proves that you can’t get anything done on your own. What would your old man think of you? It’s no wonder the way you are, being Frank Hart’s boy. Yeah, I’ve watched your old man in the past. The talent must have skipped a generation, but then again, with your old man there wasn’t anything much to pass down anyways.
The rest of the guys and gals left in this match aren’t really worth anything to even speak about, but just for fuck’s sake I will.
Let’s start with the few that’s going to lose the Full Throttle match. How do I know they’re going to lose? Because I know my boy Jinxy will have this one in the bag. Me and him go way back to JCW. If it won’t be Jinx it’ll be the new guy Beno. Natural Law is where it’s at right now, in my opinion. I don’t do friends or groups or anything like that, but they’ve got it going on.
Anyways, Tom Sykes. What is there to say about this guy? I mean really, what the fuck has he done since he has came to IWF besides lose? The highlight of his career was stepping into the ring with a guy like Crimson Skull. No matter how tired I am of seeing Crimson Skull, it was still fun to watch Sykes get his ass beat senseless. If I was you Sykes, I’d just give it up. There’s obviously no hope for you winning any other match in your career ever again. You got a lucky break there for one match, and that was about it.
Go wreck your dirt bike and live a happy life wishing that you might have had what it took to just be a professional wrestler.
Now, as for Jason Hawk. Where the fuck did you come from? You won the Full Throttle title, probably one of the few titles you’ve ever won in your career, retired, came back, lost your first match back, and now you’re trying to get the same title again? What are you going to do retire if you win it this time? I highly doubt you’ve even got it in you to win it. The best thing for the bird man to do is just to fly away before he gets hurt.
The only ones left to even mention are the bitches.
I know there may be some confusion thinking that I’ve already mentioned them, but I literally mean the bitches that will be in this match.
So, first off Loca Rocsi. Do you really think that a wrestling ring is the best place for you to be? I mean, it’s not been that long ago that Cody Taylor went on a baby slamming rampage on your gut. Bad things happen when you step in the ring, it’s not because you’re a bad bitch or you’re dangerous. It’s just because everybody had to witness the Live Abortion Clinic on pay per view a few months ago, now what are they waiting to see? The Jackyl fucking your face off as he pins you?
I admire you, Loca. Not because of what you’ve been through, I could care fucking less. But I mostly admire your body. A girl like you would have a great time with a guy like me.
That’s not the same story for our next bitch, Rosalie Knight. Hell, I’m going to have to fight a two on one match with this bitch, one against her and the other against her fucking nose.
If we’re on the Path to Vallhalla, then I fucking hope the World Serpent comes up and takes a hunk out of that fucking nose of hers so she don’t trip everybody in sight while she’s in the ring.
I’ve had about enough thinking about all the people in this match. Because, when it comes down to it the only that matters in this match is me. I’m going to be the dark horse winning this match.
Everybody’s had their picks since the card was put out to the public, but they didn’t know exactly who The Jackyl was. It’s okay though, because after Ragnarok, everyone is going to know just who exactly The Jackyl is.
Because it doesn’t matter if it’s Chad Mason, or the pretty boy Steel Angel that wins the main event this weekend. All that matters, is next month at From the Ashes, I’m going to be the one that goes into the main event, and I’m going to be the only one walking out as the World Heavyweight Champion.
They couldn’t have made it a more appropriate name for a match than with the Path to Valhalla. In Norse mythology, Valhalla
is the hall of the slain, or those that had died in battle.
After this weekend, every single one of you are going to be on that Path to Vallhalla because the only that’s going to be left standing is going to be yours truly.
It doesn’t matter what religion you choose to believe in, because each one of them has the End of the World story or the End of Days. And what you’re looking at right here is that catalyst that’s going to set in stone the End of Time for IWF.
It’s not going to be the end of the federation, it’s just going to be end of monotony and the end of the talentless.
Go on, make your remarks on how you don’t believe its going to happen, but at the end of the day I’m going to be there pissing on your parade and you’re just going to have to face it.
I am that next “it” factor, I am the new face of wrestling.
I am the Ringmaster.
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