A Whole New World....Starring:
Vincent Van Rose: The Main Man
Lori Ann Van Rose: Vinnie's Old Lady
Ms. Robbins: Vinnie's "Personal Assisstant"Part I -- Takin' Out the Trash.... I had decided to surprise my man with the patented "Nuthin' On Under the Trenchcoat" celebration for his first win at Battlegrounds. He didn't even know I was in town, as far as he knew I was safe back at home at The Nail....Oh, I am Lori Ann Van Rose and the he I am lovingly refferin' to is my man, Vincent Van Rose....His friends and acquatances call him Vinnie. He is the newest up and coming star in Insurgency Wrestling and my one and only....I slide out of my rented Taurus and make my way to the lobby of the hotel where Vinnie and the undercard boys are stayin'. It ain't much but it will do I guess. I ask the front desk clerk which room Vinnie is stayin' in and of course he won't tell me 'cuz he thinks I am one of those wrestling groupie whores. I smile real big and lead him back to his "office". After about fifteen minutes or so of "persuasion" he is more than willing to let Mama know what she wants....Hell, didja think Vin was the only one that fooled around here and there....Anywho I make my way up to room 331 and slowly open the door.....Lori Ann: Hey Vin, Mama's ho....What in the hell!!??
I am stopped in my tracks by the scene in front of me. There is a curvy red head ridin' Vinnie Reverse Cowgirl, wearing nuthin' but his cowboy hat and a grin squealing like a stuck pig at a barbq, clearly giving it all she has and Vinnie givin' her words of encouragement....The female is the first to see me and she about falls off the bed taking some of Vinnie's vital parts with her I reckon...Vinnie can't react fast enough and I am on him like white on rice slappin' and punchin' him forgetting about the whole naked under the coat surprise....I am too pissed to care....Vinnie is pleading his case while trying to defend himself....Vinnie: Lori Ann, when did you get in town?? I know this looks bad, but I was interviewing for a personal assisstant and well she said she had a better body than you and I had to defend your honor....And one thing led to another....
Lori Ann: Bullshit Vinnie, I clearly can't leave your ass alone for five minutes much less a few days....Where in the hell is Bocephus?? I sent him with you so this shit wouldn't go down yet again.....Just tell me one thing....How long has this been goin' on?? You owe me that much....
Vinnie: Well, let's see, I gave Bo fifty bucks and I ain't seen hide nor hair of the old cuss since about 3 or so....The "interviews" have been goin on for a few days now, hell Ms. Robbins here is on her second interview...I think she is the front runner in this cowboy's honest opinion....
Ms. Robbins: Aw really!! Thanks Mr. Van Rose...That is so....
Lori Ann: Just shut your damn mouth you piece a trash....I will tell you what I am feeling kinda generous, I will give ya, let's see now....Five minutes to get your shit together and get the hell outta my face before I drop kick your tight lil butt out this third story window....Hurry ya ass is on tha' clock sweet heart....
The red head quickly gathers her things runnin' into the bathroom and slammin' the door.... I can hear her sobbin' through the closed door....Still madder than a nest full o' hornets I spin around and rip into Vinnie again..... Lori Ann: Well I guess you best get ta explainin' this mess Vin....What in the hell man, I told you the next time you did this shit I was takin' my ass to my Mama's and I ain't comin' back.
Vinnie: It's like this hun, I was missin' you sumthin' terrible and hell, Bo ain't much company so I ...um...made some friends. It ain't nuthin', you know you are my ol' lady, my one and only.....
Lori Ann: You sure got a funny way of showin' it Vin....Hell when you miss someone you pick up the phone and give 'em a call, say something like "Baby, I'm missin you terrible and I just needed to hear your sweet voice," You don't hold "tryouts" for an assisstant....Damn you and your crazy ass....I gotta go clear my head, you can drive a crazy woman sane Vinnie. You better be alone when I get back, that's all I gotta say.....
I run my fingers through my hair and shake my hips a lil bit when I make my way out the door, just to let Vinnie know what he will lose if he keeps it up....I let the door slam hard and I make my way out the door and drive off to clear my head....------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I watch the love of my life walk out the door yet again, leaving me alone....Well not quite alone, as I remember the lovely redhead is in the bathroom as she makes her way out looking around for Lori Ann...Not seeing a threat, she slips her shoes on and gives me a kiss on the cheek as she puts up that fire red hair....Vinnie: You ain't gotta worry about her darlin', Lori Ann and I have had plenty of go arounds and I am sure this one ain't no different, but if I were you I would head on out. She's got a mean right cross.....
Ms. Robbins: I bet....Well, just give me a call when you know what's goin' on....I set the PPV card on the table over there by the way....We obviously hadn't gotten that far....
Vinnie: No we didn't did we....Well get on outta here love....
I playfully smack her on the ass and we start a tumblin' on the bed again.....
Forty minutes later....Vinnie: Damn darlin'....You better get movin' Lori Ann will be back in two shakes I am sure.....
The beautiful red head slips her top on slowly, givin' me that damn pouty look I always fall for, but I gotta be strong....Catfights are fun to watch and all but VVR is a tired ol dog.....She winks and blows me a kiss as she leaves, I shake my head and make like I am catchin' it.... I latch the door and flop down in the chair takin' a gander at the Bloody Sunday card....Who thinks of these Pay Per View Names anyways....Well it says I am in a Over the Top Rope Battle Royal with the likes of some Mexican named Ruben Ricardo Sumthin', the other Knoxville Cat Matthews, That dude that jumped me at Battlegrounds, Valentine, MacDonald, that big bald football player and some other dudes I can't right recall....Vinnie: Well hell that's just like takin' out the trash and drunks at the Nail, I reckon....Toss 'em out and make sure my ass is the last one out!! Sounds like a hell of a good time to me....
I lean back in the chair and put my feet up on the table, lightin' a Marlboro I chuckle.....Vinnie: A helluva good time....
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THE MATCHWell, it looks like the guys in the suits think good ol' VVR is a helluva draw....They got me in a Battle Royal Challenge with that high flyin' Mexican't from the Invitational....I think I can tak him, hell all ya gotta do is toss his lil ass over like a beach ball.
Now Matthews is a different story, he is a scrapper fo' sure... I mean he is from Knoxville after all. But I know how to handle a country boy like him...Hell I am a country boy like him!!! But he sure as hell ain't seen anythin' like yours truly....
As for those Valentine and MacDonald fellers, I don't know too much about 'em...I know that Valentine kid fights dirty, jumpin' me after the match and all. And I now that Macdonald dude is the lil brother of Big Brandon Macdonald and that kid ain't no slouch....
The thing is they don't know shit about the Sledgehammer either....And that is how I 'tend to keep it....
See ya Sunday boys...... 
Subject: Takin' Out the Trash.... 
Tue Apr 12, 2011 12:55 pm
