"YOU FUCKED KENNY? Ew, oh my god Shey no. That's... wow."
Did this bitch really just air that out like that? I eyed her down giving her the stink eye. I'm pretty sure the whole gym had heard her but she didn't even care. She was looking at me as if it didn't matter.
Alia: It's not like it's a secret, the whole world knows. You both put it out there on Twitter. I was just hoping it was a joke or something... it didn't seem like you both were serious, then again you can't really tell through text.
I sighed and shook my head walking over to the edge of the ring, sitting on top of it. Alia, another fighter here at the Confidence Gym followed me over.
Alia: What's wrong? You didn't like it or something?
She really didn't get it. I slowly looked up at her and shook my head.
Shey: No, I hated it. Ugh, I wasn't like this before Lia. I wasn't, and I just keep fucking everything up for myself. I think I'm not supposed to have a love life or something.
Now she looked really confused.
Alia: Woah, woah, woah, slow down. What do you mean? I'm not following you here.
Shey: I.. I don't want to talk about it. Let's just go over a few more rounds, I'll get my gloves.
Alia already had her gloves on. She wasn't here training wrestling, she's currently an amateur boxer. Whenever I wanted to work on my striking, I called her over to go a few rounds with me. We had already gone a few rounds today but right now seemed like a perfect time to go again. She stopped me though, putting her hand out.
Alia: Hey, not until you tell me what's up. You can't just tell me that you did mess with him then talk about how your love life is doomed and all. Talk to me Sheyanne.
Shey: You won't go a few rounds with me until I tell you?
She shook her head with a smile. Maybe she meant it as a joke, in a playful way, but I wasn't having it. I had enough stress on me right now. I got off of the edge of the ring and began to walk away.
Shey: Fine, then we're not going any rounds.
Alia: Shey come back here girl I was just-
I couldn't make out the rest of what she said, I was already out of the gym. Fresh air was good for me right now. I stood outside of the gym for a few minutes until I found myself crying. I was literally tearing up. How can things get bad for me so quickly?
Every time I tried to make things right, I failed miserably.
I needed to defeat Flex Johnson. I needed to defeat him and retain my title in order to help my family get out of the bad streets of New York. They deserved a better life and it was up for me to provide them with that. I failed. They were all counting on me to get that win and I fucking lost.
I lost focus in that match and started celebrating too soon. How embarrassing of me. Celebrating as if I had won the match when the match wasn't even over yet. Jesus Christ...
Shey: Fuck my life...
I knew I had to get this win against Kyuubi. I had to make that girl my bitch and show her no respect in that ring. I respected her talent and skills, in the MMA Octagon and in this wrestling ring, but once that bell rang, all my respect for her had to find an exit.
Today was a bad day though.
Today's training really sucked ass, I just couldn't focus in that gym. Even when I went a few rounds with Alia she hit me with shots that she was unable to land on me in several different sparring sessions. I guess it was because I had just heard about the singing of Carmen Alvarez.
Another member of the Confidence Gym, only she didn't train in the New York one. Luckily for me, she trained in the L.A location.
Me and her used to be close but I didn't know where we stood right now. I technically cheated on her.
I'd be stupid to make up an excuse and say that I didn't know we were exclusive to each other. There were feelings there, a lot of strong ones. We were actually really close to tying the knot and making things official, like full on lesbian relationship, girlfriend and girlfriend.
I fucked it all up by sleeping with Kenny.
That dirty dick that had been in god knows how many vaginas.
I could do better than him, as a matter of fact, I had better than him, it was Carmen.
I think I had a reason for all of this. It wasn't the first time I pulled something like this. I couldn't explain my reasoning's to anybody though, they just wouldn't be able to understand them like I do.
A while back, I was dating Derrin Thomas for a bit over a year, he was a pro football player. I thought he was the one, the one I'd be spending the rest of my life with. Little did I know, he was messing around with other women, mainly Madison Monroe. She was a stripper and one of Brooklyn's best friends.
That hurt me, even after I found out I forgave him.
It was a mistake, because he only did it again, and again and again. I never knew what it felt like to have my heart broken. I guess that's why I've been breaking hearts lately. It wasn't just Carmen, all my other past relationships have failed after his. Either because I've been unfaithful or there just wasn't any communication on my part.
If I wasn't breaking hearts and I was actually faithful... I had serious trust issues.
This wasn't healthy. Who the fuck would want me?
I heard Carmen wanted to kick my ass. I'd want to kick my ass too.
Me and her have yet to speak but who knows how that will turn out. I've already lost all a lot of friends, I couldn't afford to lose another one. All I really had other than her was James, a few girlfriends and other gym members.
Inhale.
Exhale.
I took three deep breathes, calming myself down and trying to feel relaxed. Trying to clear my mind from all the bullshit. Tomorrow night I would open up the Pay Per View. I had a match to worry about, all the side shit would have to wait till after my match.
I hope the world didn't forget. I hope they didn't forget about the two huge wins I've had. Two straight losses shouldn't be enough to erase those two huge victories I've had.
Winning the High Impact Championship only to defeat the Uprising Champion? They better have not forgotten.
I hold onto to those two victories very tight. I use those two victories as a confidence boost in order to remind myself that I belong on this level. Once you slip up or lose, it's easy for people to point the fingers at you and question your whole career.
Once you're on that winning streak, it's nothing but praise. The moment it's broken, they start to say that it was nothing but luck and that you really weren't that good to begin with.
That's how this sport is.
I was on top of the world and it all came tumbling down. I tried to get up the ladder right away only to fall down deeper.
Now It seems I'm starting back at the bottom. When I say that I mean no disrespect to my opponent Kyuubi. She's a name that just got discovered after her last win.
Not a lot of people knew she was until she destroyed Tiffani.
Who knows what happened with Tiffani that night. Was she off her game or is Kyuubi just that good? That's an answer I'm just going to have to find out for myself. If Tiffani Michaels underestimated her, that's something I'm not going to do at all.
I'm taking this match very seriously. I just hope she is.
There are people out there saying that this match was made for me to get back on track, that this was some sort of warm-up match for me to make me look good. Those people are insane and out of their fucking minds. Kyuubi is no longer under the radar. People know exactly how dangerous she can be and she's a big threat to me.
But just like I said, I hope she's taking me as serious as I'm taking her.
I hope that her win over Tiffani isn't getting into her head too much like my wins got into my head. She needs to realize that everything can be taken away from her with one loss. I plan to get back on track and be that loss.
Kyuubi, congratulations on your win. May the better woman win and let's open up the Pay Per View with a motherfucking bang!