The Return of The Irish Bastard

Prologue: WHAT CAN I DO F'YER?!

The chance of a lifetime...I'm starting anew and I'm willing to take on anyone. I'M READY FOR YOU NLWF--where th'fuck did NLWF go...? WELL I'M READY FOR YOU IWF!! See when I heard the new NLWF closed down I felt kind of happy...and sad...because I left on bad terms and people believed me to be a flaker. Then I peeked through IWF to see the one person who I hated in the world wasn't there. Now I'm doin' a jump o'joy because I get to finally WRESTLE again! This was great!! The most happy day of me life! No more will I have to put up with shit talkin' little kids. It's time for me to shine, BUT...I'm gonna have to wait for the right time. I'm achin' for the chance...but anyways...I'm going to wait...and watch...and maybe drink a lil'...YEAH that sounds good! SEE YA!

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*CLICK*

Radio: Good morning, BOSTON! Today will be a little chilly outside, so wear something warm! Temperatures are in the high thirties, a windy gust of wind will be--

*CLICK*

Connor O'Shannon: *deep breath* .... *slow exhale*

Mondays...it was like God put'em there just t'fuck with me. I couldn't help but want t'good back t'sleep, but what's th'point o'it now? I'm awake and there ain't a way for me t'get back to me dream of playin' some XBOX360 while Eva Longoria and Eva Mendes are slurpin' on my stiff shillelagh. Ah...what America could produce am I right?! I sat up in me bed with a tired expression. Lookin' at the clock I could tell I had a long day ahead of me. I had to unpack...getting back to t'States was horrible...although Brazil did offer me some hospitality. Treated me like I had been born from a Brazilian woman I tell ya!

Slowly I looked around to see that my entire room was blank. Nothin' was on the walls, just white paint and the sense of emptiness in my gut. Bleh, another day of movin' and carryin' on. I could use a drink, most of ya out there would say "It's too early t'have a pint." Well fuck you, when you wake up fillin' like a bag of shit then you can talk t'me. Tis the beverage to wake any man up from a tiresome state. The sun wasn't even up, God why did y'curse me with mornin's? I rubbed me face and let out a lazy groan, flopping back onto me bed I looked up at the ceiling. The blank white roof made me think...think back to th'days when I started out as a wrestler...

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Chapter I
NLWF Headquarters
5:32 p.m.

Connor O'Shannon: I don't want any part of it! If this is how a fuckin' company is ran, then y'can count m'out! I held onto the belt, you wanted m'teh, I did! Nowhere in th'FUCKIN' contract did it say I had to kiss that son of a bitch's ass...!

Pencil Neck Executive: Look, Connor, I understand you're in a position where you feel disrespected after what happened to you...but you've got to understand that we've got a business to run. No matter what happens you have a contract with NLWF...

Connor O'Shannon: FUCK th'contract!!! Listen and listen good, I'm not in it fer th'money...I'm in it fer the challenge. Ain't nowhere in that piece of paper say I'm gonna take what that piece of shit says to me. I held that belt, HOPIN' it'd have some pride...but you know somethin' if that bastard means that much to ye...who am I t'get in th'way o'business.

Pencil Neck Executive: So this is your resignation...?

I looked that son of a bitch straight in his eye. I couldn't let me family down...that's why I joked th'place in the first place. But...knowin' that HE would be here and HE would be in charge set something off inside of my body. I grit me teeth and stand up, I take my contract that was put on th'table and rip it up.

Connor O'Shannon: Write me out of this fuckin' show...I don't care how you do it...just get me th'fuck outta here.

Pencil Neck Executive: ...I can have something worked out, I've got someone who can make an impact here in NLWF. If you ever want to--

Connor O'Shannon: Good fer ye...tell me when you use them as a doormat, then I'll give a fuck.

I frowned and walked out of the room. These bastards didn't want to give me the respect I wanted, then I didn't give two shits about what they did. I stood outside of the building...I looked at my phone and closed my eyes. Slowly I dialed and looked around...there was a phone dial...slowly someone picked up.

Da: Yes?

Connor O'Shannon: Da? Hey.

Da: Connor! How are ya lad?!

Connor O'Shannon: Good Da, I'm good, I uh...

I rubbed my forehead and sigh.

Connor O'Shannon: I'm just havin' some business problems is all, y'know?

Da: Anything I can do t'help?

Connor O'Shannon: No, no, no, everything is uh...said n'done.

Da: Ah...alright then.

Connor O'Shannon: Yeah, um, could y'put Ma on the phone?

Da: 'Course son, hold on.

He left the phone and I just looked around. Couldn't tell me Da that I quit me job. He was frantic when it came t'things like this. Jobs were important for Irish folks...they didn't want t'go back t'th'days back in the old country. Irish men were meant to work, me being unemployed meant me parents wouldn’t take me back into the pub. Somewhere inside of me I needed to compete...it didn’t matter what th’fuck I had to...I had to get back inside of that ring ANY ring. I the phone gave off feedback, slowly there was a clatter and a light sigh. I straighten up and clear my throat.

Connor O'Shannon: Ma?

Ma: Connor? Oh my little boy...how are ye...?

Connor O'Shannon: Good Ma, um listen, promise me y’won’t tell Da what I’m about t’say.

Ma: ...Is there some trouble? What’s going on?

Connor O'Shannon: Well, I...I had to...I had t’quit me job.

Ma: …

Connor O'Shannon: Now before y’throw me under th’bus I want ye to know that this place is crazy. They gave me an opportunity of a lifetime only t’throw me away like I was a piece of garbage. Not t’mention the bloody idiot who I fought decided to keep getting in me face. I’m tellin’ y’mom I didn’t quit without a reason.

Ma: …

That silence meant that she was sad and somewhat angry. God, I could see th’look on her face now. I hated t’break me Ma’s heart like that. But what was more important, money...or me dignity?

Ma: I’ll promise not t’tell yer father.

I gave a sigh of relief.

Connor O'Shannon: Thanks Ma.

Ma: So what will you do now?

Connor O'Shannon: That’s th’hard part.

Ma: Aye.

Connor O'Shannon: ...I didn’t want to leave...I was forced t’go.

Ma: I know son...I understand.

Connor O'Shannon: This place had a lot o’promise for me...and it all turned sour quick.

Ma: Sometimes we don’t expect things to go bad when an offer is too good t’be true.

Connor O'Shannon: Aye.

Ma: Why don’t y’come home son?

Connor O'Shannon: N-no I can’t do that...I don’t want t’be a burden.

Ma: Oh quit actin’ like a puss and come back to Boston. Yer a guess at our pub son, you’re always welcomed. Maybe some of the people still workin’ there’ll be glad t’see your face...I know I would.

Couldn’t say no t’her...she’d find me and kick my ass that she would. Aw what the Hell...

Connor O'Shannon:Okay, I’ll be comin’ home...um, I’ll get a flight booked and I’ll see y’then.

Ma: Good, I’ll go tell yer father.

Connor O'Shannon: Bye mum.

Ma: ...Stay in good health son...

I hung my phone up and looked out into the streets. Tonight was gonna be a harsh night...I could tell...

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Chapter II
World War Tour
Showtime.

I was beat down, sweaty, and I ached everywhere. Just another night I guess, when they said they’d write me out, they meant it. So I was stuffed inside of a casket t’burn. Ain’t that somethin’? Mr. Nicky was “in charge” so he thought it was a suitable way t’getting rid o’me. I could see his fuckin’ face now, laughing his little mohawk off. Then he’d come out and talk shit about me more.

You know somethin’...I didn’t care. I’d dealt with this ignorant piece o’trash and I couldn’t take no more. I can’t be bothered with such crap. Slowly I stirred to me feet and wiped the sweat off o’me body. I looked around the locker room, somethin’ about this place just struck a cord in me head. I threw my towel into my locker, and without hesitation I cocked back and kicked the ever lovin’ shit outta that fuckin’ locker room door.

Connor O'Shannon: FUCK!!!!!!!

I plopped down in me seat and looked around, tryin’ t’find some meanin’. Something in me head told me to vent. I should listen t’me conscious more often. I got up and looked around, I saw this skinny white guy eatin’ a donut with a camera on a crate.

Connor O'Shannon: OI!

Skinny Cameraman: …

He turns around to see me. He swallows his food and point at himself. Of course you y’dipshit...

Connor O'Shannon: C’mere!

Skinny Cameraman: Uh o-okay.

Connor O'Shannon: Bring yer camera too!

He grabs it up and walks over towards me with a cautious glance. He entered the locker room and looked around a bit shocked.

Skinny Cameraman: What happened to the locker?!

Connor O'Shannon: It committed suicide. Now shut up and set that son o’a bitch up! I got a lot on me mind I wanna discuss.

Skinny Cameraman: Uh, okay...

He sets th’camera up quickly. I stand by him pacing back and forth. I look over t’me right at him with an impatient glare.

Connor O'Shannon: Are y’done yet?

Skinny Cameraman: Yeah, all set, go whenever you’re ready.

Connor O'Shannon: Alright.

I pause and think for a moment. I look at the camera lens and let out a low sigh.

Connor O'Shannon: When I came to NLWF, things were great. I was apart of a stable, I had a title belt...I was on the verge of bein’ a superstar here. People were friendly around me. They treated me with respect and likewise I give’em respect back where respect was due. I didn’t come here and acted like I was some big shot. That ain’t me style at all. I came to NLWF humble, because I knew someone could beat me down. I didn’t go in the ring and act like I had th’look of a champion. The company came to me and offered ME the chance to be something big here.

I took that chance and I ran with it and ever since then I’ve made an impact here. I managed to so somethin’ no one could possibly say in the NLWF. I won a championship the first night I entered this God forsaken company. Did I brag about it? NO! Did I go around and flaunt it in everyone’s face? NO! No, I did what anyone would do, I took one step at a time and I ran with it. I didn’t get th’fame and fortune get to me head, I was brought up better than that. Y’know I didn’t grow up with the feeling of feeling high and mighty.

Me Da would have me head if I every turned into a snob. I was brought up with th’lectures of me father. He told me that “Never let th’fame get to ye lad, someone can come and snatch right from under yer nose.” And from there on out, I’ve been followin’ that motto. But y’know, there’s people around these parts who don’t give two shits about honor. They want the belts, the glory somethin’ to soothe their ego. One of those people was Nick Ridicule, a self righteous bastard who doesn’t care about wrestling. Th’only thing he wanted was belts. Belts and plenty o’more!

I looked at this guy, and I thought he had to decency in that little teenage body he had. But truth be told he was nothin’ but a lil’prick who got to big for his britches. And so I had to suffer my first lost in NLWF. Did I whine? No sir, I took it like a man and I drove through it. But there Nick was, that little voice of negativity in me fuckin’ ear talkin’ all kinds of shit. He scorched me hair and thinks he’s th’best thing since sliced FUCKIN’ bread. But you know something if I had the chance I’d make him pay.

He wanted to say that I was riding his dick? He wanted to say that I was nothing more than a fluke? He wanted to try and embarrass me so he could look cool for his posse? Well lad, I ain’t the person you should be doin’ that against. Because like it more not, I took that belt you had held so preciously after I drove your fuckin’ spine down in the mat and laid you out like th’little bitch that y’are.

Nick you’re a pathetic excuse fer a man. In Ireland men like you either shut th’fuck up or fight. It seems to me you rathered run your mouth like a little cunt instead face me again. So you can have your little belts, your collection...I don’t give a fuck. You got what you wanted, you drove the competition away and yet sittin’ high up on the mountain top where no one can reach ye. I curse ye Nick, I know that you’ll run this place down to the ground and I know that when it’s all said and done people will see the true you.

I tried to push through it, I tried to laugh it off...I tried to make it a positive, but there yer were...again in my face and again with the fuckin’ insults, the middle fingers, the EGO...!!! I can’t take anymore of this bullshit and I don’t know how the lot of ye can withstand it. I’m here...and now I’m going to leave with my dignity. But I’m gonna tell ye this Ridicule...and I hope yer listenin’ because it’s something that can change yer life I promise you that.

That little “I’m God” personality will get ye so far in life boyo. And when that time comes, you’ll be alone. Alone and dead inside because you had something great turn into ash. It’s your fault Nick, I’m walkin’ out of that door and I’m never comin’ back. Fuck you, fuck your belts, and fuck your twisted morals...I’m leavin’...have a nice fuckin’ day.

And just like that I left NLWF without turnin’ back. That was it, I wasn’t goin’ to soil me family’s name with a few pay checks and women. I had me pride, and no one would take that away from me. I looked at the pencil necked cameraman and pack my things. I leave the arena and didn’t look back...

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Chapter III
Boston, Massachusetts
2:08 p.m.

Voice: We are now landing in Boston, make sure your bags and items are secure as we land. We thank you for flying with us, and we hope your stay is pleasant.

I looked out of the airplane with a neutral expression across me face. Comin’ home...it did me heart some good. Knowin’ I had family here made me feel more relaxed than usual. Though, I hoped me Da didn’t get me Ma to talk about the misfortunes that happened to me. As we landed I got me bags and headed towards the airport building. It felt pretty nice to come back home. Though I didn’t want to live at th’pub. I know how me Ma acts when I stay...she wouldn’t want me t’go away.

But it looked like I WOULDN’T be goin’ anywhere. No job equals no cash, and no cash means I was goin’ t’end up having to find work somewhere. I couldn’t come crawlin’ back t’me family. I was a man, and me Da wouldn’t look at me the same. When I left Boston, my dad had hopes for me. When I got out of that car and saw his face...I knew he was proud o’me. If he knew about me misfortune...I don’t know what would happen.

I walked inside of the airport and exited through the front. Taxi cabs drove pass me, I held my hand up quickly with me bags in hand. Th’cab stopped, an old man exits the cab and walks over to me. He opens the back of his cab for me and helps me with th’bags. I get in and let out a tired sigh.

Driver: Where you headed son?

Connor O'Shannon: Termont Street.

Driver: Alright!

He typed in the street’s name in his GPS. He pulled off slowly, I sat lookin’ outside of th’window...keepin’ to myself. He looked at me through his rear mirror.

Driver: So...where you comin’ from?

Connor O'Shannon: It’s not important.

Driver: Ahh, sounds like you had a rough trip back huh?

Connor O'Shannon: You don’t know th’half of it.

Driver: ...Well it couldn’t be all that bad...

Connor O'Shannon: Again ye don’t know th’half of it.

I glared at him with a nonchalant demeanor. He nods his head, keeping his distances from me as he turns back to the road.

Driver: Something happen?

Connor O'Shannon: I got beat up, and thrown aside like a piece of shit. I gave it me all in that place and all they cared about was how they could ruin my dreams. I put my body on th’line each night and it seems that once you do that you aren’t welcomed there anymore. Didn’t rub a fuckin’ soul the wrong way and I still got dicked in this situation. I tell ya, it’s like people don’t care about morals anymore. Just when you think some people have some sense of good in them, they spit in yer fuckin’ eye and leave you out fer dry...

Driver: Sounds like you had a rough job.

Connor O'Shannon: You have no fuckin’ clue mate.

Driver: Eh, well maybe a little sight seeing with cheer you up.

Connor O'Shannon: I have a better idea, I’m gonna drink a pint o’beer, take a nap and try and figure out what th’fuck I’m gonna do with me life.

Driver: That sounds like a good plan.

The driver chuckled and turns back to the road.

Connor O'Shannon: I just hope my last pay check transfers alright...fuck me life...

I rub my forehead and let out an angered grunt. For twenty minutes I sat in that back o’that cab cursin’. Once we pulled up on Termont Street I got my bags out and paid the friendly ol’man. I placed my bags down on th’ground and took a good look. Place looked the same, could use a little paint here and there, but it was the nice pub I grew up in. I pick me bags up and walk inside of the place. Slowly I looked around, I saw me Da behind the counter cleanin'. I knock on the side of the door. He looks up at me quickly...

Da: Connor!

Connor O'Shannon: Hey.

He walks from the counter and to me. He gives me a light hug, I smirked lightly.

Connor O'Shannon: I see yer still hard and work ain't ya old man?

Da: I always am lad, how are ye, do you want something to eat son?

Connor O'Shannon: Not right now Da, I just need some time to me'self.

Da: I understand, hold on--LENN, yer darling boy has returned to ye!

Ma: Connor?!

She came out quickly and made a B-line for me. She hugs me tightly and places a soft kiss on my cheek.

Ma: Oh my little boy's bad, are ye hungry, thirsty, do ye need a seat?

Connor O'Shannon: Ma...calm down.

Ma: Oh stop, it's not everyday y'see your boy...travelin' and such....

She dusts me off and makes sure I didn't have any smudges on me face. Overbearing mothers always had a purpose in life. I stop her gently and smile.

Connor O'Shannon: I missed y'both.

Da: As did we son, as did we.

He pats me on th'shoulder.

Da: How long will you be stayin'?

I looked at him and then back at Ma.

Connor O'Shannon: Oh--um, they gave me a break for awhile until they call me up. Y'know how wrestlin' is dad.

Da: Oh, well yer welcomed to say as long as you need.

Connor O'Shannon: Thank you.

Ma frowned a little at me, I look away slightly, an awkward silence emerged.

Ma: Uh, let me help you with the bags?

Connor O'Shannon: I got it.

Ma: I'll bring you up somethin' to eat.

Connor O'Shannon: That's okay Ma.

Ma: Quit fussin', I'll be up in a few minutes with a nice hot plate of food for ye.

I couldn't argue with her, I smile and just walk to my room. I head upstairs to my room where. Nothing changed, everything was still neat and tidy, just th'way I left it. I put my baggage near th'door and flop down on me bed. I felt my eyes fall heavy...all of a sudden I was sound asleep.

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Three Hours Later.

Ma: Connor. Wake up son.

I felt a soft hand press on my leg and shake me. I woke up with a loud snort. I looked up to see me mother in me face. She had a plate of food for me. Soda bread and lamb stew, a tired smile appeared on me face. I started to dig in. I could feel me mother smirkin' at me.

Ma: How is it?

Connor O'Shannon: Like I remember all of yer dishes: tasty.

She smiled, but then frowned a bit.

Ma:Connor...what do you plan on doing...?

I started to chew slowly, looking up at her. I sigh through me nose and glare back down at me dinner.

Connor O'Shannon: I don't know, but until then I've got to find something. A job, something I'm good at, somethin' I'll enjoy--

Ma: Something that'll pay well?

Connor O'Shannon: Aye. But until then I can't let Da know...

Ma: ...

I looked up at her, I felt my heart skip. I put me food down and look at her.

Connor O'Shannon: Please Ma, PLEASE tell me y'didn't...

Ma: ...I had to Connor I--

Connor O'Shannon: Bloody--

I stand up quickly and place my hands on me hips in an angry matter.

Connor O'Shannon: Y'promised me y'wouldn't!!!

Ma: It just came up last night Connor. I just--he took it okay son...

Connor O'Shannon: I DON'T...care. Ma you and be both know that Da's th'type of man to frown upon one of his clansmen, let alone his SON quittin' somethin'!!! D'you know what kinda shame he's feelin' right now?

Ma: Your father is proud of ye no matter what boy. Never speak as if he'd disown you, because he loves you...

I stay silence and sit slowly on the end of me bed. Ma pulls up a chair from my desk and looks at me, grasping me hands with a caring glare in her green eyes.

Ma: Son, we could care less if you quit yer job. What matters t'us is that you know what's good for you. You can have the worst job on the face of God's green Earth, but we...we won't hate y'fer it. Connor O'Shannon, you are a proud man...you've got a good head on yer shoulders son. Yer heart was in the right place for quittin'...no one can fault y'fer that.

She places a hand softly on me cheek and strokes it with her thumb. I smile quietly and look down at my plate. She gets up and walks to the door. She stops for a moment, turning to me.

Ma: We talked and we're going to be giving you your job back here...

Connor O'Shannon: You don't have to--

Ma: But we will...because we love you...

She nods her head with a sure expression. She walks out and leaves me. Until that point I was working at the pub. Though I didn't want to...me family insisted. Until then, I had to find a way to get back into wrestling. I just had to or else I'd end up feeling like I accomplished nothing...

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And There Y'Are!

Huh...



Well this is new...

The last time I saw NLWF I was walkin' out of th'building. Now I turn and I see th'place is gone?

SOMEONE FORGET T'PAY TH'BILLS!

In all honesty, I bet you weren't prepared t'see me face now where ye?! Well I was surprised as you, but before I get into the whole "NLWF = gay" rant I want to let you all know where I've been. I went to a trip to Brazil, dropped a few pounds, learned some neat little tricks for y'to enjoy! So far my experience from NLWF has led me to a nice lil'life. See, when I joined NLWF, people saw this...look. They looked at me and turned their heads. I made people see who I was the first night I debuted there. I didn't need to call the big dogs out, because I FACED one of them...Nick Ridicule. A teenage cum shitter who was an mature as kiddy porn. Now I'm gonna be blunt, I don't like Nick Ridicule. In fact, I curse his mom for spreading her legs for the unlucky bastard who stuffed his cock inside o'her.

The bastard has no sense of humility. When I entered--this was back when most o'the people in NLWF seemed like good people--I was in a faction, I had a title belt, I was on top of the world. Nick Ridicule was playing some Sting persona with his little girlfriend Ashley Matthews, and I was provin' to th'world why I wasn't someone to be fucked with. But somewhere along the lines, Nick wasn't happen that he got beat for his belt. So they put me in this clusterfuck match where I ended up getting my hair scorched. He won that match, I gave the bastard all of the credit in the fuckin' world. I even congratulated him, because he was better than me that night. And sadly he knew he was better than me. And so when the time came, I had to face his wrath. The constant disrespect towards me was uncalled for.

I tried to get a hold of management to talk with him, but like always they turned a blind eye towards the entire thing and I was made a fool of. So now that he had the belt, "The Comeback Kid" decided to get himself a little more. He owned the company, this was the last straw for me. After my last showing, I told people the truth, I was just off my game, I was tired, I was injured...I didn't heal from me wounds. Then the mocking started. "Connor O'Shannon is a pussy.", "Nick ran Connor out of NLWF", a bunch of bullshit. If anything, I wish I was still there, if only I could stomach Ridicule's fuckin' face I might have been there for awhile.

Here's how Nick wins his matches. He adds nothing but narcissistic statements, a middle finger here n'there, some drama where he slit his wrist and tried to kill himself like a FUCKING emo, and a "FUCK YOU" and there you have it. The personality of ol'Nicky is something GREAT isn't it? *end sarcasm here* So anyways, I here this little shithole ran the company in the ground. That God-personality bit him in th'ass. Not only that I hear he planning on taking people down so he could be at the top of the card. When a man is as desperate as to add himself on every PPV card as the main event...he's nothing more than a selfish son of a bitch.

You take away from the young lads who want to do somethin' with their careers. And here you are hogging everything like a fucking pig. Those young guys you never pushed Ridicule? They came to IWF...'least here these people have some sort of honor. You're nothing but a crook, taking everything from others. That...my FUCKING friend pisses me off. Once I left I checked in from time to time to see if people were okay. I saw some new, some old, and then I saw you...with a belt? THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!!! I-It's like you want to win everything. But as an owner you don't have the fuckin' right to win everything in that company. You have to work hard, you don't work hard, you take shortcuts. "Oh you took a shortcut Connor. FUCK YOU!" Yeah real clever. I GOT MY CHANCE and I took it. I pinned that little bitch and I was the NLWF Champion.

So as I watched NLWF, I noticed the same thing: You kept trying to push yourself without worrying about the others. These guys, Brandon MacDonald, Chris Matthews, Ruben Ricardo León...these guys made me believe there was some sort of home, some sort of new light in NLWF...that Nick wasn't that fucking stupid. These guys ended up making want to try and rejoin. But then I realized how disorganized he was. The taping of their next Pay-Per-View was delayed. And what I heard was...th'bastard was offered help...and then turned it down...like a true egomaniac he managed to run NLWF out of business.

SOMEONE NEED A JAIL OUT OF FREE CARD!!!

So here I am, laughing me ass off because this cunt managed to run the people he’d been workin’ fer—I’m guessin’ YEARS now out…all because he couldn’t say “Yes, I need some help. I’m sorry for wasting your time guys. I should have asked for help when needed.” Instead of, “Fuck you, you should be lucky to be in this fed. I RUN THINGS NOT YOU!!!” like a little ten year old. Maybe when he grows up a little he’ll succeed. But you never know what th’future holds yeah? All I know is the fucker can go to Hell. If I ever see that Mohawk wearing cunt muscle again, I’m going to make’em see that he messed with the wrong Irish bastard.

NOW THAT WE’RE GOT THAT OUT OF THE AIR…

IWF…this place is for the people who felt screwed at times. Those many few who have a chance, no matter how big or small y’are. There’s no prejudice…everyone’s given a shot. No one is going to talk shit about you. People respect you…that is if you give respect back to them! I see good things for this place. Corey and Chuck have this place runnin’ on full cylinders and I can see myself makin’ this place me home. I want you all to know that I ain’t goin’ nowhere. You wanna get rid of me? Stuff me in another fuckin’ casket and set me on fire…

Wait…

No…

Don’t do that…

But if you got a problem with me? Then you better be ready for a fuckin’ war. I'm comin' t'IWF...and I'm willin' to fight anyone they put in front o'me. Whether they're old, new, or somethin' in between...I'm plannin' on makin' my time there a great one. So to the roster, and to th'people who I'm lookin' forward to facin'...

The Irish Bastard Is Back...

WHERE'S THE FUCKIN' BEER?!

Fade. Static. End.