Being Married sucks

[Screen opens up to Andrew and Pandora walking up a hill. Andrew's wearing jeans, a black O'Neill shirt with a backwards black on black baseball hat. Then it jumps to them together on a couch.]

Savage - Wha'ts good it's ya boy...

PR - and I'm his wife Pandora Ritter.

[Andrew and Pandora smile. Then it cuts to Serra Cryse and her new boyfriend Skyler Kelly.]

SK - What's up I'm Skyler and this is my girlfriend Serra.

SC - Hi everyone!

[Cut back to the hill. The two couples walk up to a gate. A tan man pops out from there.]

Host - Hello and welcome to our hotel. Andrew, Serra, you two are coming with me.

[Andrew looks confused while Serra sits there with her dumb smile on her face.]

Host - Skyler, Pandora, you two will be going home.

PR - Oh no way you're not letting me in somewhere. I'm Pandora Ritter bitch!

[Security grabs Pandora and helps Skylar leave. Pandora keeps cursing as she's dragged away.]

SC - Andrew, like, this is going to be soooooo much fun. I can't wait!

Savage - Oh fuck.

[The scene cuts to a van where Pandora is steaming. Skylar just sits not non-chalantly. The driver speaks.]

Driver - You two aren't really going home. You're going to a separate hotel to spy on your significant others.

PR - What? Why am I being banned again from staying with Andrew? He's not better than me.

SK - Cool, man.

[Scene cuts to Andrew and Serra checking into their room.]

Savage - Guess I'll take this bed.

[Andrew puts his suitcase on a bed.]

SC - So this is the bed we're sleeping on?

Savage - This is the bed I'm sleeping on.

SC - Cool, I'll like put my pillow over there because I just bought this special little pillow.

Savage - Kiddo, you're sleeping on that bed.

SC - Why would I do that of your sleeping on this one? That's silly!

Savage - You're still fuckin weird. I'm married.

SC - I know, I think that's kinda hot.

Savage - What're you talking about? You and Skylar are dating.

SC - Yeah, for like a month.

Savage - Month?

SC - Yeah, we met at a GCW show.

Savage - Oh nice. I remember I had this bas ass scaffold match with him for the UGW Incision Title back in the day. It was such a sick match. It was the first title I won since I first retired so it meant alot to me since it reminded me I could still do it. He fought me hard that match, but I was punching and punchin and he finally fell onto a table, to which I gave him an Awesome Elbow Drop, which back then was before your sister called me Mr Awesome so it was called the Flying Elbow Drop Macho Man Style. You don't give a shit, do you?

SC - You look hot in those jeans.

Savage - This weekend is gonna blow.

[Scene cuts to the hotel room where Pandora and Skylar are staying. It's a very low class hotel.]

SK - I'll take this bed.

[Skylar jumps on a bed and lays down.]

PR - What the hell is this hotel? Do they not know who the fuck I am? I'm Pandora Ritter, bitch! I don't deserve this shitty ass hotel! Give me a phone I'm calling my agent this is bullshit.

[The host walks in.]

Host - Welcome to the X Effect. You can see where your significant other is on that TV. Andrew is the green light and Serra is the red. First off you have to opportunity to either listen to but not watch them at a spa or watch but not listen to them play basketball.

SK - Basketball.

PR - Shut up Skylar I'm picking! Basketball.

[Scene cuts to Andrew and Serra at a basketball court. The host walks on the screen.]

Host - Today you'll be playing strip Horse.

SC - Strip whores?

Host - No (chuckles) Horse. Same rules apply but instead of getting a letter you remove an article of clothing. Andrew, you're first.

Savage - Cool.

[Andrew goes to the foul line and shoots a shot.]

Savage - Buckets. Go ahead Serra.

[Serra doesn't even look when she shoots and misses horribly. She removes her shirt.]

Savage - You sure you don't wanna start with your shoes or something?

SC - No, lets keep going.

[Scene cuts to Pandora and Skylar.]

PR - Andrew! That asshole! He probably told her to start with her shirt!

SK - I don't think so.

[Cuts back to the game. Andrew shoots a close up shot.]

Savage - Seriously try and make one this time.

[Serra again misses on purpose. This time she takes off her pants.]

Savage - Come on Serra, what're you doing?

SC - Playing. Lets go.

[Andrew goes right underneath the basket and shoots it in. Serra goes and throughs it up in the air. It surprisingly goes in. She takes off her bra.]

Savage - Serra, it went in!

SC - I didn't see it go in.

[Serra goes to kiss Andrew but he ducks out of the way.]

Savage - Whoa! I'm married!

SC - I don't care.

[Scene cuts to Pandora and Skylar.]

PR - That little tramp!

SK - I know.

PR - I'm gonna beat her ass for kissing my husband!

SK - Easy, it'll get worse.

[The host walks in.]

Host - These two are now heading out for dinner. You can listen in on them for ony a few minutes.

PR - Okay, lets hear that bitch.

[scene cuts to Andrew and Serra at dinner. You can see but Pandora and Skylar can't.]

SC - So what've you been up to?

Savage - I won the World Heavyweight Title last month. This week I'm facing some jerkoff wannabe named Carter Savage. I still think it's Josh with a mask. You remember Josh dont you?

SC - Yeah Josh.

[Andrew looks a bit confused for a sec but continues.]

Savage - So yeah he's gonna be tough but I hate the guy and I'm going to beat the fucking shit out of him. I can't wait for the match, I'm going to beat the ever living shit out of him. You don't care at all, do you?

SC - Yeah, Josh.

Savage - You haven't changed at all, have you?

SC - What do you mean?

Savage - Do you wanna just get fucked or something?

[Andrew winks at the cameraman.]

SC - Haha, maybe.

Savage - Still the same.

SC - I'm not a slut or anything. I just miss you.

Savage - You have Skylar.

SC - He's just my now. You and me had something. We were married.

Savage - Yeah, and you left me. I'm married to Pandora now.

[back to Pandora]

PR - You bet your ass you are.

[Back to dinner]

SC - Baby I know I made a mistake and I've changed. I want to come back to you.

Savage - This is like the first time we've talked in a clean year and a half.

SC - I know.

Savage - Whatever, I'm going to bed.

SC - Ooooooh.

[Back to Pandora and Skylar.]

PR - Going to bed? What the fuck does he mean by that? That asshole!

SK - Better watch out.

PR - We can see them on this TV thing.

SK - Why is the red light going back and forth onto the bed with the green light?

PR - I don't know.

SK - They are doing some kinky shit over there!

[Scene cuts to Andrew Savage trying to sleep while Serra keeps trying to sneak into bed with him. Andrew continues to push her out of bed with him but she keeps trying. Back to Pandora and Skylar.]

SK - Maybe we should sleep together? Since they are.

PR - You're not touching me.

SK - Come onnnnnn.

PR - Don't touch me.

[Pandora goes to bed, alone. The scene fades out and back in to the next day. The host is talking to Andrew and Serra.]

Host - You two have a choice. Either stay with the person you're with, or go back to your Ex. Choose wisely.

[Montage of them thinking. Finally Andrew walks up to Pandora.]

PR - Don't even look at me you sick son of a bitch. You know I was watching you fool around with Serra?

Savage - Foold around? That bitch was crazy! Kept trying to fuck me and all. Baby, I did nothing. I love you.

PR - Really?

Savage - It's why I picked Serra.

PR - YOU ASSHOLE!

[Pandora starts hitting Andrew as he's laughing.]

Savage - Im kidding Im kidding. Of course I picked you.

[Pandora stops and smiles.]

PR - You better have, or I'll cut your balls off.

[Andrew starts to laugh but realizes she's serious. Scene cuts to Skylar and Serra.]

SC - So like I totally think I love Andrew and stuff. So I'm gonna pick him.

SK - Figured. Call me later.

SC - Alright no problem.

[Skylar walks off. Andrew and Serra now meet.]

SC - Andrew, this past couple days made me realize how much I miss you. I really want to get back together, I pick you.

Savage - How many times do I have to tell you. I'm married to Pandora.

SC - But you're picking me?

Savage - No! Fuck, dude.

[Pandora walks over to Andrew and he puts his arm around her and kisses her on the cheek.]

PR - Move bitch.

[Serra smiles and walks off. Scene cuts out to Andrew and Pandora smiling.]