Is Kurumi Made of Helium? Cuz I'mma Fuck Her Up

Oh, come on.

Last week, I complained about the lack of competition here in IWF. I complained about how I was breezing though my opponents, not even breaking a sweat. I talked about how I was getting increasingly frustrated with IWF’s giving me easy opponent after easy opponent, giving me opponents that couldn’t hold a candle to my physical prowess.

And they gave me Kurumi.

You’ve gotta be kidding me. I mean, no offense darlin, I’m sure you’re extremely athletic in your own right. But come on. Let’s not mess around here. I’m a powerhouse. I’m over 300 pounds. I mean, hell, I’m twice your size, girl!

Like I said, I’m sure you could win a match. I’m sure you got it in you. But against me? Eh…not so much. I’m undefeated for a reason, Miss Kurumi. Now, granted, that reason is because I’ve been given lackluster talent.

But then again…TJ Banks had won his first match. He was looking promising. He stepped in the ring with me, and I beat him in what, two minutes? Bobby Marshall was supposed to be, pound for pound, the best pure wrestler in IWF. I beat him without a problem. Fuck, I fought Apex. The tag team champions. In my third contest here. Two “legends” of this business in Chuck Matthews and Jason Hawk.

Ruben and I annihilated them, and took their titles.

Can ANYONE in IWF prove a challenge to me? Can ANYONE in IWF at least make me work for a victory? I mean, that’s the saddest part of it all. It’s not that I’ve won all my matches so far. I mean, Christ, I expected it. I’ve said before, I’m the Genetic One Percent. I’m bred to do this. I was better than you just by being born. But I never thought it would be THIS easy.

For the past few weeks, there is only one word that can describe what I’ve done in IWF. Dominate. Pure, uncensored, complete and total domination. I go in, I win, and damn it, I win convincingly. I’ve had one fluke match to my name. One win that perhaps I shouldn’t have had.

That win was against Chad Mason. And I won by disqualification, thanks to Chuck Matthews.

Now, let me talk about that for a second. I go undefeated in my first month in IWF…I win the tag titles…

And here I am, sulking away in the undercard.

Chad Mason hasn’t done JACK SHIT with his career. He’s lost almost every match he’s been a part of…

…and he’s fighting the number one contender for the New Blood Championship, with said champion in his corner.

Wow, talk about friends in high places. He’s friends with the champion’s girlfriend, and that means he’s higher up on the card than me? Really?

I BEAT CHAD MASON.

And speaking of that New Blood Championship? Why the fuck has my name not even been mentioned with that belt? I am the definition of New Blood Champion right now. I’ve been here a month, and already I’ve made more of an impact that Sean Libby or Tyson Rowle, and those sorry assholes have been here for almost a full year.

But heaven forbid if I get called up to compete for that belt. I won a tag championship, because I was helping out a guy who was gunning for them anyway. If it wasn’t for Ruben, would I have even gotten a shot?

What’s my point?

My point is that I’ve been overlooked for way too long. I’m forced from one easy match to the next. I win, and my victories go unnoticed. You want to tell me I haven’t beaten someone worthy of note? I get that. And I agree. And I want that to change. I’m not proud of my victories. Because my doubters? They’re absolutely fucking right. I haven’t beat anyone noteworthy. I’ve had no real accomplishments.

That’s about to change. You want something done right, you have to do it yourself. And therefore, I’m throwing out a challenge. Rising Monarchy, someone is going to walk out with the New Blood Championship. A fatal four-way match. One which, surprise surprise, doesn’t include the fastest rising star in IWF. But whatever. I don’t care. Because I promise you, I WILL win the New Blood Championship. I don’t care who it is, be it Johan Alfredsson, Ashley Matthews, Sean Libby, or the current champion, Alison Williams. After Rising Monarchy, I’m gunning for that title. Nowhere to Run, the final Pay-Per-View of the IWF year, I’m stepping into that ring, and up against the New Blood Champion, whoever it may be. And just like I’ve done all this past month, and just like what I will continue to do for the months to come…I’m going to win. You can quote me on that.

I will not be ignored. I will not be overlooked. I will not continue to stand here as my talents are misused, and I’m forced to fight mediocre talent, waiting for my chance to finally get to the big time.

Fuck that. I’m a main event level talent. I’ve beaten everyone you’ve thrown at me so far, and damn it if I don’t continue to power through each and every person you dare to put in front of me. This is what I do. This is what I’m best at. Everytime I get into that ring, I win. I dominate. I go up against whoever management decides needs to be beaten a peg, and I thrive. I succeed.

Kurumi? Girl or not, you’re no exception. When you step between those ropes, and that bell rings…it’s game time. I’m going to do what I’m paid to do.

And what I’m paid to do is win.