Subject: Bagpuss vs 2 others Mon May 07, 2012 7:07 pm
LORD HENTAI A.K.A BAGPUSS VS JUNIOR CAIN [DEBUTANT] VS RYAN HALL [RSD CHAMPION]
ENTRANCES [NOT CONTRIBUTING TO MATCH COUNT]
After five extensive minutes of cheesy commercials; XWA Vendetta is back and live. Fans in the arena are all hyped up for the later encounter between XWA veterans – the Royal Rumble winner – Alex Firecracker, and the returning controversial character, known to us as Dante Cross. The two Xtreme innovators will meet later in a Tables match, and it’ll take a miracle to kill the momentum of the spectators present, in the T&M Center. Though it’s a grand showcase never witnessed before to us; we also see a match which is too good to be on regular television. One billionaire brawler, one ‘Diamond in the rough’, and a ‘full-time Main Event’ player; all merged together to make an epic contest. XWA World Heavyweight Champion Ace Andrews defends his coveted prize against Danny Diamond and JHalc; and that’s our main event.
Chet Lemon: “Wow Eric; this arena has come alive. All of the fans are on their feet, but you can’t help but feel that they’ll be on the edge of their seats, later on tonight.”
Eric Bull: “A man came from a little company and signed for XWA. In the early days of his career, he became XWA World Heavyweight Champion; and not one single person could hoist the prize from his shoulder. It took temptation from a rival company to lure that belt away from him. This man was called ‘Spyke.’ Few months later, we’re left without a champion – déjà vu – and Ace Andrews imitates that pattern of success. Ace Andrews is the new Spyke.”
Chet Lemon: “That was the longest piece of analysis that you’ve ever presented in your life; amazing. Why weren’t you like this when HeadHunter was our World Champion?”
Eric Bull: “Was that sap unbeaten?”
Knowing that his biased broadcast colleague is correct; Lemon unusually hushes, and waits for the next bit of action, or a vignette to surface. Eric – though glorious in this brief debate – remains quiet, as he smiles at the play-by-play character. Don’t be fooled; this smile isn’t sincere; instead Eric is smiling about the validity of his question; which has become rhetorical. DING DING DING! Finally something occurs, as the bell clanks thrice; commanding the attention of the present audience in Sin City. Showcasing the bend and curves of body, in a long red dress which goes down to her ankles, and leaving her silky hair down and untied; it’s the ever-so-glamorous ring announcer Laura Watts; microphone in hand. Before she speaks, there are the few obvious wolf whistles in approval of her appearance.
Laura Watts: The following non-title triple threat contest is scheduled for one fall!
Immediately after the famous electric guitar intro from Europe’s ‘Rock the Night’ blares through the arena’s P.A. system; the crowd jeer from the top of the lungs. The familiar entrance music riles the crowd up, and it’s only ten seconds later that the fans calm down, as bam; gold pyro shoots up from the stage, and it thrills some members of the audience whilst startling a couple. When the coast is clear; from behind the curtains emerges our RSD Champion, as Ryan Hall – the Australian Daredevil – grins while taking a verbal beating, as the fans shower Hall with torrents of boos. Looking confident with the ‘rookie’s’ strap around his waist, covering the “WU” printed on his pitch-black singlet. Wearing the trademark irritating grin – which makes the crowd want to personally punch him – Ryan turns around in await of his ‘plus one.’ Slowly coming out from the back, while looking as innocent as a new-born baby; here is the ‘British Beauty’ Natasha Smith.
Eric Bull: “Look at Natasha! Woohoo, she’s on fire baby. The Rising Star Division Champ’ knows how to pick ‘em!”
Natasha follows her beau, as the brash RSD Champion struts down the ramp with arrogance, which can blindly be associated with confidence. Thumbs of disapproval are pointed down, as Ryan Hall – living the perfect life – refuses to acknowledge any fans in the front row. He continues to grin in his long march down the entrance ramp, while the camera now focuses on the ‘anti-Issue’ signs floating around in the crowd. Towards the back of the crowd, we see a blond adolescent male waving a pink sign which says “Go away Ryan”, which won’t be likely to happen, as long as he holds that belt. Another one is shown in the crowd, but this sign is a bit more offensive than the previous one shown. “Dingo-away Hall” is cleverly printed on a sheet of yellow paper, as not only is it declaring interest in Hall leaving, but the paper also plays on the Australian’s roots. Back to focusing on the match; Ryan Hall reaches the end of the ramp, and all of a sudden he turns to acknowledge a fan in the front row. Ryan sees a rather chubby gentleman in glasses, and he points at his own abdomen and shouts “You ‘aven’t got abs like me, chubby!” For probably the first time tonight, lovebirds Natasha and Ryan must separate. She stays ringside, staring at her man with amazement; as he dashes and slides into the ring. Once he gets back onto his feet; Hall glares at tonight’s official – who doesn’t seem one bit fazed by Ryan’s attempted intimidated – and quickly dashes into the far-east corner, and launches himself onto the second rope; but instead of pointing to those ‘abs’, Hall points at the prize which has paved the way for so many superstars.
Eric Bull: “Look how great Ryan looks with the gold around his waist; well he’s truly deserved it. He’s a testament to fresh new faces in XWA. I could bow to this guy, and I wouldn’t feel one bit embarrassed.”
Chet Lemon: “A testament? Do you even know what a testament is? You say some ridiculous stuff Bull, but this is near one of the worst.”
After giving his belt to an XWA official on the outside; Hall turns around and faces the entrance stage; where one of his two adversaries shall stand next. But little do we know about one of them. Hall’s music fades away, and is drowned out by the relentless jeering of the XWA Universe.
Before we can fully hear the entrance theme of the superstar, we’re cut off air and we’re going to miss this glorious entrance for some cheesy commercial breaks.
Right, sorry about that; XWA is back from that abrupt commercial break. "3Hunna" by Chief Keef is the entrance music that’s playing now, as we see a physically intimidating black man as the second participant of this three way match. His name is Junior Cain, and he’s six-foot-six and weighs at exactly two-hundred-eighty-six pounds. He’s on the western side of the ring, and his presence has certainly startled the much diminutive – in comparison – Ryan Hall, as the Rising Star Division Champion stands against the turnbuckles with a look of concern on his face, and he waits in desperation of potentially negotiating a partnership with whoever comes out next. Cain frowns upon his Australian foe, as he senses the cowering motives behind the self-professed “Issue” of XWA.
Chet Lemon: “This is pathetic; look at him! He’s cowering into the corner, and he calls himself a champ’?”
Eric Bull: “You tell me off for being biased, but look at yourself right now. Ryan Hall deserves his break, so show some respect to him.”
Chet Lemon: “But he’s trying to avoid Cain! He had better hope that his second opponent is a friend.”
Junior Cain’s theme dies out, and nobody is really booing him that bad, despite a bit of trash-talking when he walked down the ramp; but he’s no Ryan Hall (in his defence.) Cain keeps his eyes on the smaller Ryan Hall, and this may be a walk in the park for Cain; if there’s no strings attached to this contest. Suddenly both men turn around, as a Japanese man roars from the P.A. system.
Fans give their undivided attention to this next entrance, as the stereotypical music plays and fans may have a good idea of who this individual may be. Last week, a vignette aired and we looked into the life of an individual who goes by the name of “The Master.” Fans jeer as from behind the curtains emerges Keisuke, the deshi of this stranger. XWA.com did a special on this man, and apparently he was in XWA; before he went to Japan and dominated the competition in Japan. Pokémon games, karaoke competitions; “The Master was undefeated in everything; however it’s unknown of his professional wrestler record over in the Land of The Rising Sun. Keisuke throws salt into the air and fans boo as another person comes out from behind the curtains. They calm down when they realize exactly who this ‘Master’ is. Dressed in a red and gold vestment, with his famous reading glasses on; it’s Sir Bagpuss.
Eric Bull: “Ohohohohohoho, will you look at that!?”
Chet Lemon: “Is that? It’s Sir Bagpuss, he’s ‘the Master’ that Keisuke worships.”
Eric Bull: “I had my money on the RSD Champ first, but now I’m not so sure. He’s got two powerhouses, but this is different. Even Cain has to-“
Chet Lemon: “Look at Ryan and Cain in cahoots over there!”
Suddenly unafraid of Junior Cain; Ryan Hall starts a conversation with Cain whilst the ‘Obese Shinobi’ walks down the ramp, while the two competitors in the ring inexplicitly argue, as the theme of Bagpuss’ drowns out the quarreling from both men. Keisuke leads the way for his master, and it’s unbelievable of how swiftly a perspective can change. Seconds ago; both Keisuke and Bagpuss received a lot of heat from the fans in Nevada tonight, but when ‘The Mastodon of Lunch’ fully revealed himself; all negativity was forgotten. On the fifty foot titantron reads the word, in large bold print “Lord Hentai” which seems to attracted a couple of chortles in the arena. “Out Cold” Junior Cain moves towards the eastern side of the ring, as the returning gargantuan Bagpuss draws closer to the combat cube; staring menacingly at the two ‘lighter men’. Ryan Hall is only an inch shorter than Bagpuss, while Cain is taller by four inches.
Chet Lemon: “My lord, look at them now! Scheming to apprehend Bagpuss, but what happens when the match is between these two?”
Eric Bull: “Calm down partner, it’s every man for themselves. I’m sure these men are just wishing each other well for this match.”
Chet Lemon: “When pigs fly. I see nothing good of this happening, from either men in the ring.”
One commercial until match. MATCH [1000- WORDS]
The bell tolls thrice and this triple threat is under way. Stood still; looking less than pleased by the conspiracy recently conjured between his two adversaries, is the returning Sir Bagpuss. Stood on the other side, looking like a pair of thieves; slyly whispering in another’s ear every time they talk, are the unlikely duo of debutant Junior Cain and the Rising Star Division Champion Ryan Hall. Wanting to get this battle begun with, “Lord Hentai steps into the centre of the ring; leaving both men to continue discussing their game plan. After finished with their conferring; both men decide to approach their foe Bagpuss, but only Cain walks up to Bagpuss. “Out Cold” notices an absence by his side, and turns around to see a grimacing Hall; proud of his deception of the newcomer from Chicago. Flinching and unable to do anything; Cain takes a swift elbow to the forehead, and leans forward; before allowing Sir Bagpuss to hit a forearm into his back. Ryan Hall – the only one who opposes Bagpuss’ threat at the moment – charges up at the Wyoming native, and is chest-battered as the four-hundred-twenty pounder uses his head as a shield.
Eric Bull: “Junior Cain, lesson one in life; don’t trust a champion in XWA. They look out for number one, as expected.” Chet Lemon: “Both men are down that quick, it’s going to be a long time before anybody gets any momentum over Lord Hentai.”
Both men – who were knocked down – get back up, and they squabble after the earlier incident of betrayal; unimpressed with the time delay, Bagpuss with full force; runs at Ryan Hall, and knocks the ‘Australian Daredevil’ onto the canvas and to make matters dramatic, the RSD champ’ rolls out of the ring and to safety. Again, Cain is astonished by his larger adversary, but this time; Junior rapidly swings both elbows at the cranium, and this causes the shorter man to stir when Cain finishes. Wanting to follow momentum; Cain dashes over to the eastern ropes, rebounds and then raises the right boot. The black man fails to take off Bagpuss’ head, as the returnee swivels to the right; but Bagpuss isn’t fast enough to evade the attack, as maximum impact is met with the right shoulder of Lord Hentai. Bagpuss has his arm by his side, and it seems that he may’ve sustained an injury. Hoping to capitalize on the incident; the Illinois native wraps his arms around the waist of his huge foe, and lifts trying to go for that belly-to-belly Suplex. The crowd notice the struggle on Cain’s behalf, as tries his best in hoisting Bagpuss up; but it’s not meant to be. Junior Cain lets go, and immediately is greeted by a Bagpuss shoulder, as the “Mastodon of Lunch” thrusts his right shoulder into the sternum of the two-eighty-six pounder. Both men double over; both hurt in their own way, as they both tend to their certain parts of the body. Ryan Hall – not noticed for a while – dashes back into the squared circle, and he jumps onto the hunched back of Hentai’s, before launching himself at a recuperating Junior Cain with a high-flying crossbody.
Chet Lemon: “Both Bagpuss and Cain are tending to wounds of sorts, and Ryan Hall just leaped off the back of Sir Bagpuss! And he takes Junior Cain down with an aesthetically pleasing crossbody attack.”
Eric Bull: “Wow, look at Ryan Hall; he’s doing great. But how’s he gonna take down Lord Hentai?”
Chet Lemon: “Definitely not with power; that’s for sure."
Laid on top of the newcomer Junior Cain; Ryan has him in a pinning predicament, and the referee counts, but only up to one, as Cain lifts his shoulder to send Hall into the air. They both get back up to an erect base, but only one stays up, as Ryan Hall is decapitated by a sick Lariat from “Out Cold” Junior Cain. Cain sees that Lord Hentai is fully recuperating, and takes a couple of paces back, before hitting a dynamic Lariat on Bagpuss! Bagpuss’ fall creates a thunderous noise, exciting all fans as they stand to see the downed returnee. Finally knocking down Bagpuss gets some fans excited, but Cain doesn’t rest as he continuously kicks the ribs of “Obese Shinobi”, causing the fat man to roll out the ring for a rest á la Ryan Hall. Cain is the only man on his feet, but he’s not satisfied yet as he insincerely helps Ryan Hall – who’s flat on his chest – back up to his feet, and drives his foot into Ryan’s ‘perfect abdomen’, causing “The Issue” to keel over whilst holding his gut. Junior grabs both of Hall’s arms – wrenching them into a double underhook position – and he lifts the RSD Champion overhead; slamming him down to the canvas with an explosive Tiger Suplex. Cain hooks the legs of Hall’s to go for the pin.
Eric Bull: “Cain’s got Hall in a pin; will this be the upset of the year?”
Chet Lemon: “And it’s only a two for the newcomer, as Hall kicks out.”
Indeed Hall kicks out, and this prompts a glare to the referee from Junior Cain. Cain watches his prey – in the arrogant Ryan Hall – roll onto his stomach, as he presses his hands against the ring mat. “Out Cold” doesn’t seem to show any impatience; rather he’s showing a more calculated side of himself in the ring. He turns around; noticing the presence of Bagpuss – who climbs up onto the ring apron – and Junior Cain takes two steps back, before charging at “Lord Hentai” with a rapid Bicycle Kick! Cain watches Bagpuss awkwardly roll off the apron, as Keisuke rushes to his master’s side to ensure he’s not hurt, but it’s a convalesced Ryan Hall who takes advantage of the commotion, as he kicks Cain in the back. The RSD Champion is startled, when Cain turns around – giving Ryan a menacing stare – before rushing at Hall with yet another Lariat, but as expected Ryan ducks, but quickly Junior stops and wraps his arm around the right side of Hall’s collar, and he drags back the smaller man, Half-Nelson slamming Hall, to create a crashing echo from the ring canvas! Feeling the ‘whiplash’ following Cain’s powerful move; Ryan cradles up whilst clasping his seriously hurt neck. Though this may be serious; this doesn’t discontinue the relentless cheering public in Nevada, as they appreciate Cain’s intensity.
Chet Lemon: “My word; this Junior Cain is a force to reckoned with. He may have just snapped Ryan Hall’s neck in half, and don’t these fans know it?”
Eric Bull: “Why are they cheering for this; I mean sure he’s impressive but look at poor Ryan. I almost question Smoke’s authority to place our RSD champion with two behemoths at once.”
Chet Lemon: “I see what you mean; all of the champs’ have had it difficult since the arrival of Smoke Xtreme.”
Natasha – at ringside – pouts as she’s genuinely concerned for her beau’s welfare, following the sickening impact of Cain’s Half-Nelson Slam. Natasha Smith tries sliding into the ring to check on Ryan, but she’s obstructed by the referee; who is doing his best to avoid interferences in this no disqualification match-up. Eventually somebody else slides in, and it’s Keisuke to do so. Keisuke surges at “Out Cold”, but Cain intercepts the Japanese with a Belly-to-Belly Suplex, which pummels Bagpuss’ Deshi flat down onto the mat. The Chicago native looks rather annoyed at Keisuke, but perhaps Cain spends too much time staring, as Ryan Hall makes a rather ‘miraculous’ recovery by leaping to his feet, and he nails the debutant Junior Cain in the groin-area with a forearm, causing fans to groan following the Low Blow. As expected; Cain loses balance as he staggers forward, and he lands throat-first onto the second eastern rope. Neck draped on the rope; Cain notices Bagpuss observing the action, and he gets Green-Misted for all his troubles. Cain screeches as he is blinded by the “Obese Shinobi” and even more boos are prompted in the arena. With Cain unable to see anything; Bagpuss takes advantage, as he drills the forehead of the debutant’s relentlessly with forearms and closed fists. “Strauss, Strauss, Strauss, Strauss, Strauss, Strauss” cries the gigantic Bagpuss with every heavy blow to the cranium of Cain’s.
Subject: Bagpuss vs 2 others 
Mon May 07, 2012 7:07 pm
