Insurgency Wrestling Federation
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 Feedback for Jack Savage

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Jack Savage

Jack Savage


Posts : 173
Join date : 2012-09-18
Age : 41
Location : Wisconsin

Wrestler Stats
IWF Record: 0-0-0
Alignment: Heel

Feedback for Jack Savage Empty
PostSubject: Feedback for Jack Savage   Feedback for Jack Savage I_icon_minitimeMon Jan 28, 2013 6:51 pm

I think I have been improving in my mind but its obvious from the votes that no one else is thinking so. Basically what i wanna know is what you would like to see from me so i can get back on the winning road and improve as a writer.
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Flex Johnson

Flex Johnson


Posts : 143
Join date : 2013-01-16
Age : 34

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PostSubject: Re: Feedback for Jack Savage   Feedback for Jack Savage I_icon_minitimeMon Jan 28, 2013 8:00 pm

Not to shabby there bud.

The writing was solid; you had a good mix of CD and shoot.

Now, there were only a couple of things that stood out to me.

1. "Jack Savage: Everything that I have done to all of these useless little girls who have made the mistake of getting into the ring with me has turned me into, not only the most feared man in the UECW Vixen's Locker Room, but one of the most feared men by all of the little girls in great sport of professional wrestling."

-I don't know man, this paragraph and the next couple to follow sound a little "rapey."

2. I think a little color coding would really make your RP pop, even if you just coded Jack's words.

Anyway, keep up the good work.
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Jack Savage

Jack Savage


Posts : 173
Join date : 2012-09-18
Age : 41
Location : Wisconsin

Wrestler Stats
IWF Record: 0-0-0
Alignment: Heel

Feedback for Jack Savage Empty
PostSubject: Re: Feedback for Jack Savage   Feedback for Jack Savage I_icon_minitimeMon Feb 18, 2013 12:10 am

Okay you know the drill
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PostSubject: Re: Feedback for Jack Savage   Feedback for Jack Savage I_icon_minitime

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