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James_Betterman




Posts : 21
Join date : 2013-07-03

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PostSubject: Feedback   Feedback I_icon_minitimeSun Jul 07, 2013 12:43 pm

Here the RP I Posted for Underground thoughts please.

Scene One-Prolog

Incase you missed it The former Messiah has gone a complete make over and became this.

Scene opens in bed James is laying there next to him is the lovely Ms Melons. James lays there just watching her huge lucious breast move up and down as she breaths. James feels like his old self. This is a new day in his career in IWF no longer held back by the restraints of the name Messiah. Now he can show IWF who he is and what he is capable of. He now plays by his own rules and if there are people who don't like it they can go suck a dick. James lighty smacks the curvacious ass of Ms Melons waking her. He tells her to head into the shower as today they Debut as how the should of from the start. She gets up naked as can be her body just screaming SEX SEX SEX with every step she takes towards the bathroom. James will is to weak he gives in he can not resist her wicked ways. James follows her into the Shower and the two proceed to get very dirty and clean at the same time. After a steamy shower the two do what the hate the most get dressed. If it was up to them they would be naked 24/7 and stay in bed fucking like rabbits. The two leave there hotel room and head downstairs where a limo is waiting. The two get in and are driven to the arena. They are planned to shoot a promo introducing themselves well at least the real them. They arrive to the arena they get out and the two are hounded by reporters as everyone thought they were to be dead at least thats what NLWF claims. James and Melons answer no questions and just enter the arena. The two are giving a micraphone and the filming of the promo starts.

James-Aww Yes thats much better. Ok first of all nobody knew really? All I did was shave my beard and cut my hair and Melons only put on a pair of glasses. Is this all it took and a name change to fool everyone? Wow everyone IQ must be at Tard level if this was all it took. Ok for those who don't know who I am let me say. WHAT FUCKING ROCK HAVE YOU BEEN LIVING UNDER? Cause I am a pretty big fucking deal. I steal the show every match. Win or Lose my opponent gets just a little better just being in my presence. That is how damn good I am. If thats not enough well how about the number 52? You see that number is how many damn titles I won in my career. Name one person who even comes close?

Jame cups his hand to his ear. Waiting like someone will give him a actual response.

James-No answers huh. Thought SO!!!!!!!!! See nobody can compare or even come close cause when all is said and done I am Simply Better. There are those who have nicknames like Best in the World,God's Gift,Talent on lone from God. Well I put them all to shame cause I am Better then the best in the World,I am fucking God so your welcome for your gift, and I am now revoking that lone pay me back BITCH!!!!!!! So to all the talent here in IWF or the World for that matter. Your all on notice you got two options when it comes to me. Lay Down or get fucking Knocked Down. Those are your only two options. So I wait here waiting for word on who's First. The card for Battleground not announced yet so I wait and when I am giving word I will verbally ass rape who ever is put up against me. Cause not only am I the best in the ring I am pretty damn sick and very damn talented in talking the talk as well. Granted as Messiah I didn't do the best at that but Hell you try using a gimmick that has no fucking legs to it from the get go. Lets see how well you would do.

So James waits as Melon keeps looking down at her Cell Phone waiting for the call and the reveal as who will be the first to get outclassed.

James-No Calls I am not one who likes to wait. So this promo will be just about everyone. Battleground,Underground,Above Ground,Gaining Ground what ever fucking ground. The day you see your name against mine in a match be fucking afraid. Cause fun and games are over children. Time for shit to get real. So for all those in IWF land your fucking worst nightmare has woke up and he is very grumpy.

James walks away waiting for the shit storm he has sure to have stirred up.

Yes James Betterman was born. Now with his first match set he seems very excited to get to work and do what he does best. That leads us to this.

Scene Two-Shoot

Scene opens with James&Ms Melons discussing the upcoming Underground event.

James-So this is how I am going to start here in IWF a place dubbed the Underground. Now most would be offended to be put in a place for rookies and people just trying to reinvent themselves. But not me I enjoy being able to face the new crop of future superstars. I get to test myself against to future. I like that I like that alot. You have myself and three up incomers competing in a fatal fourway match.

James stops to think about how he will go about his strategys in a match like this. As he lets Ms Melons say a few words.

Melons-You are making it sound like a cake walk honey. But a match like this could be very dangerous. You have three other opponents all wanting to make a statement and get a win as much as you do.

James nods in agreement.

James- I know but thats what makes it exciting. But you know me babe. As good as these three might or might not be there in no way Better then me. I will prove that when I go out there and proceed to show the entire World just how damn good I am. This match at Underground is not just me rebirth but it is ohh so much more. Its the beginning of something special. It will be a night people years from now will still discuss. Baby you have the names written down. Shoot them off and I shall discuss each of them.

Ms Melons reaches into her purse she pulls her Ipad and looks up who in the match.

Melons-First name is Lord Jaguar.

James is speechless for a moment before bursting into laughter

James-Wow one of my opponents is a video game system by Atari. A very bad Atari video game system hahah. Maybe I'll do the Contra Code and 99 life his ass hahahaha.

Melons shakes her head and whispers in to James ear.

James-WHAT!!!!!!!! He a fucking Nazi. Are you serious?

Ms Melons plays Jaguars promo for James on her Ipad. After watching the promo James is confused.

James-So he not a Nazi? He was just playing one? Ohh My head I am so confused but anyway onto what this turd stain said about me in his promo. Wow Boy is sure full of himself. Lets get some facts down. First off My girlfriend is not a Skank. For you saying that you just signed your own death warrant you dumbass. Second you think you are better then me? HAHAHA Bitch I AM A MOTHER FUCKING GOD IN THIS RING. When I am done kicking your ass you will fucking bow down and pray to me. Now lastly your no fucking hero and you have no future. Facts are Facts and the fact is you going to get your ass handed to you by ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now Ms Melons who next on this list of jack offs I am facing. To think I was singing there praises earlier trying to be nice. Then this jack off went and pissed me off. Fucking douchebag.

Melons-Next name in the match is Bobby O'Day.

James-Sounds Irish. TO MANY LIME TO MANY LIME OHHHHHHHH OHHHHH OHHHHHHHH.

Ms Melons giggles at James singing.

James-Has he done a promo by any chance?

Ms Melons shakes her head no.

James-So I got nothing to work on hmmmmm. Ok Bobby let me tell you something Fella! I am going to go Highlander on your ass Superkick you head off get all your power then Queen will start playing WE ARE THE PRINCES OF THE UNVIVERSE. HAHA But in all Seriousness your going to lose to ME.Now who the last jabroni?

Ms Melons looks down on her Ipad.

Melons-Shobam Pooni.

James looks at Melons.

James-Bless you.

Melons-I wasn't sneezing thats the persons name.

James looks at Ms Melons and just shakes his head.

James-What the HELL. How am I to respond or promo on someone with a name like that. JEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUSSSSSSSSSSSS yeah I just Zandig there. Uhhh Really I don't know how to respond to a guy who sounds like he belongs in a German Shit Porn. Yeah I am just going to end this here.

James and Melons walk off as the scene comes to a end.
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PostSubject: Re: Feedback   Feedback I_icon_minitimeSun Jul 07, 2013 2:01 pm

Decent rp, to much sex for my taste....
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Butthead




Posts : 20
Join date : 2013-07-03

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PostSubject: Re: Feedback   Feedback I_icon_minitimeSun Jul 07, 2013 2:42 pm

First off, I like this one way more than your Messiah RPs. Yes, I read a few Razz This one was written with way more confidence. Good job on that.

I actually don't have that much to say about this one. Though I must comment on the difference between Ms. Melons and James. I like how James has a major ego while Ms. Melons is more down to earth.

I thought this was a good RP Razz
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PostSubject: Re: Feedback   Feedback I_icon_minitime

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