Newest rp....

Feedback greatly appreciated...thanx

Ok rp but I feel it could be longer. I mean it was a decent rp but I feel you could go two scenes and be way better. Also It was Shabam that was pinned in our match? I thought I read it was me that was pinned? Ether way good scene just try expanding them to two scenes and I think you will be a threat to a lot of people in matches. I know Quality over Quanity but a good long 2 scene rp will always beat a good shorter 1 scene rp.

Alright, here's what I think can be improved/added:

• A CD scene: I think James nailed it. A second scene would do you some good. Now, CD isn't required; but, we (the readers) know jack about Jaguar's origin, character, etc.
  
• Humor: When reading your RP, I sense that you are trying to be funny. And while it's appreciated, at least to me, it comes across as being goofy and silly. I think that hurts you a bit.
  
• Shoot: You spent the major of the RP talking about other things and other people. However, in the present, Lenny is your opponent. You should have been talking about him; or, make sure you talk about everything proportionately.
  

There are the thoughts man, hope they help.

Thanks for the thoughts guys. To be honest flex I am trying to be goofy and silly. I would have talked more about Lenny but I know jack about him...he doesn't even have a roster page from what I can tell.