RP 2

Scene One-I Stole the Show.

We are just a few minutes past a grueling four way match. James came out on a losing end but he is not sad by this as he did what he does. We are in his locker room but no James or Ms Melons to be seen. Instead we hear water running like a shower we also hear some other noises. Moans,Screams and Foul Language can be heard. This goes on and on and on and on. This last probably a good hour before you hear a ear drum shattering OHHHHHHHH GOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDD followed by some lower moans. The water sound stops after a couple a moments a Ms Melons walks into scene with nothing but a towel around her. She seems like she can barely walk she almost seemed punched drunk she has a smile on her face from ear to ear. James follows her also with a Towel around him. He to is smiling from ear to ear. He addresses the camera totally ignoring the sounds the camera already heard.

James-Ladies and Gentlemen I lost and I am not shamed by this cause the match was by far the best damn match on the card. I did what I alway do had a five star fucking classic. Me and three other guys went out and stole the damn show. Those three guys Bobby O'Day,Lord Jaguar,Whatever that other dude name was are now just a tad bit better cause they where in the ring with the epicness that is James Betterman. Your Welcome guys no thanks needed. See this just shows that I am all I claim to be. Even in defeat it was me that came out still looking like a millon bucks. Cause I am just that damn good.

Ms Melons nods in agreement. As she try's to get some clothes on with out revealing anything.

Melons-Yes you did look good in the loss. But you would of look alot better with a win.

James smirks. Who does not care who sees him naked just drops his towel the whole World gets a good look at his junk just hanging there still some what hard. As he also begins putting on some clothes.

James-I see what you did there hahaha. But I am not go to get down on my self for a loss like I would as Messiah. I am just going to learn from this and move on. Bobby O'Day who won the match know this our paths shall cross again one day. When it does the outcome will be different you wont be winning a second time on me. Just know that. Any word on whats next on my journey threw the Underground love?

Now having her clothes on which has to be some what of a disappointment to straight men everywhere cause they got to see James cock and no Ms Melons Melons how unfair is that? Ms Melons looks on her ipad. To see what is booked next week.

Melons-Seems a Tournament is planned to crown the first Underground Champion is next week.

James ears perk up. He stops putting his clothes on he smirks.

James-Did I hear Championship? Ok you for sure got my attention with that last statement. Maybe a 53rd title on it way haha. Ohh Please say I am booked in this.

James is acting like a hungry kid from one of those send a penny a feed us commercials licking his lips and such.

Melons-No word yet but after that good performance I don't see why you wouldn't be booked in it.

James is acting like a little kid on Christmas day the thought of being champion again has made him giddy. He grabs Ms Melons and lays a long passionate kiss on her. She pretty much melts into James arms.

James-The thought of winning gold again ohhhhhhhh. I can almost feel it. The gold around my waste. I don't care who I have to go threw I WILL WIN THIS TITLE.

James is almost certain he will win as he finishes getting dressed and the scene comes to a end.

Scene Two-Thats Not Good.

Scene opens with James outside his hotel room some what unhappy. He has found out the brackets for the tournament before Ms Melons. Knowing how she is he not going to like the mood she will be in once she finds out.

James-This is really not going to be a good week for me. You see despite her down to Earth demeanor Ms Melons can be some what of the jealous type. When she finds out I have to wrestle another woman in this tournament match she not got to be to happy. You see she doesn't like my hand touching any female that isn't her. So these next few days once she finds out who I am facing will not be pleasant for me. So its now or never but here we go.

James takes a gulp and enters the hotel room. Ms Melons is there just staring at her Ipad almost as if she has laser eyes and is trying to stare a hole threw it. She looks up at James with that same look in her eyes.

Melons-James do you know who you will be facing the first round of the Underground title Tournament?

James simply plays stupid.

James- No have they announced it yet? Who do I got?

James doing his best he knows nothing routine.

Melons- Lea Idas.

James again plays stupid.

James-Ohh Who's that he sounds Hawaiian.

James know damn well that he is a she but he hopes playing dumb will let him keep his skin intact as Ms Melons could very well kill him if he shows any interest in this female.

Melons-Its not a HE you are facing a woman in the first round.

She growls back at James. He just takes a gulp and plays calm.

James-Sweet a easy first round for me I will just Cum Shot on her face....

Ohh Very very very wrong choice of words there.

Melons-Your going to WHAT?

War helmets on kiddies shots fired shots fired.

James-Ok wrong choice of words. I will Superkick her face and easy first round match for me YAY. Once step closer to the Underground Title.

Ms Melons is a little bit less enthused then James is. Well more like a lot less enthused then James is. She not even talking to James like its his fault who he is facing.

James- OK please don't do this not at a time like this. Ok I am facing a chick so what.....

Again wrong choice of words.

Melons-SO WHAT? SO WHAT? You are going to be touching some STD infected Skank then you expect to come back with me and get some loving. No No No.

James just lets out a sigh.

James-Listen baby. I don't want nothing to do with this girl. She is my opponent nothing more. I will do to her what I have done to many of others male or female she will lose. I will get one step closer to some gold and me and you going to have a hot night of sex afterwords.

Ms Melons seem to calm down a tad bit.

Melons-If I see you getting any enjoyment out of touching that bitch Your cut off James. No Hot Sex for you. As for you Lea if you even try to come on to my man I will cut you bitch.

Scene comes to a end with James some what surviving that war.

Scene Three-Shoot

With Ms Melons now some what calm down. James is going to have to choose his words very carefully as he try's to promo for this match.

James-This is some what tough for me. On one hand I feel I drew a rather easy opponent for my first round match. I face Lea Idas a female now no offense to you but come on your a woman the weaker sex. Again no knock against you or how good a wrestler you are it just comes down to this. A Great male wrestler aka Me a wrestling GOD!!!!! Versus you from what I heard a some what decent female wrestler. Its that simple you might could hang with me in the ring for a couple of minutes but at the end of the day I don't see this ending well for you.

James take a look over at Ms Melons who still appears to be calm. Woo Hoo Landmine one avoided.

James- Ok I know what your thinking Lea....

Ohhh Shittttt Land mine detected tooooooo lateeee booooooooooom.

Melons-Excuse me how the Hell would you know what this bitch is thinking? You been cheating on me haven't you? Your sleeping with this whore aren't you?

James is in some deep shit now.

James-Really? Your starting with this again? Listen I am not cheating I don't really know what she is thinking its a figure of speech. Nothing more. If I am going to have to stop and calm you down after every sentence this promo going to be four hours long. Just calm down I am not banging any chick other then you. I just really want to just win this match and move on cause there is only one thing in the World I love more then you and that gold.

Abort Mission Abort Mission you fucked up son.

Melons-Wait I am not the most important thing in your life?

James-No No No don't even go there I know damn well you love Gold as much as I do maybe even more. So don't even try to turn this around you know damn well how much I love titles and how much I love you. So no more of this anger stuff let me finish this promo please.

Ms Melons just sulks in the corner.

James-Ok Lea I am going to beat you at Underground and I am going to go on to be the first Underground Champion. Cause I do not see a single person in this Tournament who could beat me. Now sure there some good competition here but still I have to be the odds on favorite cause I am Simple the Best and I am Better then all the rest. HAHA

Scene ends with James smirking and Ms Melons looking into the camera like she about to murder.

I believe last week some one made a comment about how you have more confidence with this character--that is certainly true, and it adds to your writing.

So, here's what worked for me:

• CD: little by little we are getting glimpses at Jame's character, more than we did with MM.
  
• Rp Development: Your RP's as of late have seemed like they have more structure and pre-planning. That's keep to writing a classic.
  

Here's what didn't work for me:

• Ms. Melons: I'm not sure why James NEEDS a manager in the first place. He obviously is a good talker by himself. She just seems a little forced to me.
  
• "Woman the weaker sex...": I understand James is meant to cause controversy. But let's be serious, almost of all of the woman in IWF could world champs. So, that fact alone kind of contradicts your whole point.
  
• Match Talk: Compared to everything else, you barely talked about the match and the opponent. You need to beef this up in the future.
  

Those are my thoughts man, hope they help.

Peace!

Ms Melons is more girlfriend then manager but I Get what your saying. Also sad to say don't know much about Lea thats why it wasn't much match talk unlike last weeks where I kept coming back and refering to the match. Thus I tried to do something with Melons getting jealous I am facing a woman but yeah. Also women are weaker comment is just James being a asshole lol. But yeah I get your feedback and will try to up it again next week or when I get another match.

I agree...a little more match hype would go a long way.