And Now We Form... The Head!

[Titus Black, making a pouty face. That lil’ ol lip is a quiverin’ like a clitoris on a woman he just ravaged, her name is Samatha, if you care, which you don’t. Titus gives her a playful slap on her ass and tosses the sheet over her while she comes back down from this cloud. Your Scumdog of the Universe pulls on a pair of black silk boxers, and he gives the camera a knowing wink.]

Titus Black: Hello, humanoids. Welcome back to the Tardis-- I mean the Skytanic. I’ve had a rigorous day training and then fucking the shit out of a blond woman.

[A busty Japanese woman holds out a smoking jacket as he leaves the room.]

Titus Black: I’d like you to notice how Aka acts like a maid, because she’s a maid. Not some mythical thing that isn’t a maid, which Mercy thinks she is. What is she that she isn’t a maid? Some sort of robot?

Aka are you some sort of sexy robot?

Aka The Maid: No, Titus-sama, I am not.

Titus Black: And if you are some kind of sexy robot wouldn’t you be programmed not to tell people you are a sexy robot? Also do you have some sort of power, in case someone tries to hijack the SkyTanic?

Aka The Maid: I can make a bed that is really tight, maybe that could trap a hijacker and tie him down.

Titus Black: But how to get the hijacker onto the bed for you to make them up in it?

Aka The Maid: I do not know.

[A problem Titus stores away in the back of his mind, he takes the glass of warm milk offered to him by his faithful maid, and paces lightly in the halls of the Skytanic. He’s always wide awake after sex, he needs time to calm his pulse before going to sleep.]

Titus Black: Suckass huh? Mercy ain’t no fuckin’ wordsmith is she? Maybe she’s being nice and letting a retarded second grader write some quips for her, or she’s just found of swiping cliches like they’ll lose their power like Santa becomes weaker if all the good little, boys and girls out there stop believing in him.

[Don’t Stop Believing Kids! Flashes on the screen.]

Ms. Beautiful Dangerous, I’d sure love to see your 450 Splash, and I’d sure love to see you get your kids back, because deep down I’m a nice guy, unfortunately, I’m also a competitor. I’ve got an unholy drive to succeed and this drive pushes me to beat Big Black stereotypes that Blaxploitation films mock, and sadly... women who are fighting for custody for her kids.

Mercy-- you’ll get none at my hands in that ring. You and I aren’t too far apart really, similar in age, young, hungry upstarts in this wide world of wrestling, only difference is that I wrestle, and you do French Road Tricks. And ironically, you use a move that is unneededly flashy, something completely in contradiction to your Parkour style. Or are we just hoping on the latest fad?

Well, I don’t want to be cruel to a woman who is fighting, striving so hard for her kids, to go into a business where she’ll be on the road for weeks on end, and be home maybe two months out of a year.

[Sarcasm is slathered in Titus’ tone like butter on a stack of IHOP flapjacks.]

I hope that works out well for you.

And James, dear, dear James. Why do you think I’m emo? What with my... purple clothes and fashionable suits I usually rock in promos, yes, that screams emo. Or are you just too dense to pay attention when I talk, or what I show you, and you just have to go back to whatever cliche best suits your needs. You are a Big Black Man, and I’m a white guy so you have to paint me as some weak, pathetic emo kid.

But that’s fine, get up for this match as much as you can. You’ll need whatever false motivation you can to beat me, if you need to picture me as an emo, by all means, do so.

Not that it’ll do you any good.

[A sly smile crosses the face of The Devil’s Own,]

Because you ain’t Stewart Smally, you ain’t good enough, you ain’t smart enough, and gosh darn it, the people... they don’t like you. So rage on, poor man’s poor man’s poor man guy who listened to Malcolm X one time. Rage on.

[Titus blinks, hot milk kicking in.]

And with that I have a bed with a naked woman in it that needs sleeping in. ‘Night Aka.

Aka The Maid: Oyasumi Titus-sama.

[Fade.]