Southern Gentleman?? Ahhh Fuck It....

.... I was walking out to Marlene, my 69 Camaro, when one of the idiot IWF interviewers came running up and stuck a mic in my face babbling on and on about something. I figured Chuck may get on me if I fuck up yet another of his interviewers so I stopped a minute to indulge the moron.....

Sam MacDougal: Hi there ladies and gentleman Sam MacDougal here, you may know me from such safety videos as "220 or 120 Who Gives a Shit" and " Midget Lumberjacks and You: A Guide To Safe Logging", I am here with Vincent Van Rose up and comer here in the IWF....

Vinnie: Hi there Sammy....Call me Vinnie by the way, you look like a fun guy....

Sam: All right Vinnie it is....I just wanted to get your thoughts on the brew haha that James Shark is building talking about you in his latest interview....What are your thoughts???

Vinnie: Brew Haha, What he fuck is that?? Anyways,Shark is running his mouth again huh?? What did the lil monkey have to say this time?? Did he call me a retarded redneck, did he say I fuck my sister??

Sam: He basically said he isn't worried about you or Mercy and that if your fans wanted a match between the two of you he would sign on the dotted line after calling you soft and saying he knocked you out....

Vinnie: Well Mama Van Rose always told me being from Tennesee I have a responsiblity to be a Southern Gentleman and be as gracious as possible, but Mama ain't here and that naturally black fucktard has been pissing me off lately.

...I yanked the mic from Sam and pushed him out of the frame shoving my hat in his face....

Vinnie: Listen up and listen good Shark, I will even give ya a minute to turn up the TV....All right here is the skinny on the shit between me and you so listen good....IT'S OVER!!! You don't mean shit to me, you mean less to me than the fly that hit my windshield this morning, you mean less to me than gum I would scrape off my boot. When I first came here you had gold and you were running your mouth about this fat fuck and this fafggot over here. But, you LOST!!! You don't have that belt and that lil fag and that fucking elephant whipped you. To make it worse you got knocked the fuck out in the locker room afterward and got put on the shelf for two fucking weeks!!! I gave a shit when it would look good on my record to fuck up your natural black ass and take your gold and your bottom bitch, but I found out you ain't shit and your bottom bitch, she has crabs!! Hawk is my focus now, he has the gold and the hot girlfriend and YOU AIN'T GOT SHIT!!! So go on and sit your black ass in the back of the bus....NO ONE GIVES A RAT'S ASS ABOUT YOU!!!! You jumped me after a match I put my soul into and knocked me out....WHO GIVES A FUCK!!! You are in a 6 man tag match against a bunch of nobody fuckheads my girl could beat blindfolded.... I am in the running for one of the biggest prizes in the game....I don't have time for your ebonic filled ramblings right now...Go lick someone else's boot heels I am done with ya.....BRAPP BRAPP CHYOO MUTHA FUCKA!!!

...I turned and superkicked the interviewer into the dirty towels tossing his mic on top of him....

Sam: There you have it ladies and gents Vinnie Van Rose, I am Sam MacDougal signing off.....

[FADE OUT]