Faced Down. Ass Up.

- - FACED DOWN. ASS UP.- -
Yall say Team What?
We say Team Swag. Yall act like yall dont remember or dont know.
You two butt buddies better remember, cause yall definetly wont remember shit
when yall are faced down, ass up saturday night.

====================================================
** EVENT : BATTLEGROUNDS VIII: THE LAST STAND **
** EVENT TYPE : WEEKLY SHOW **
** ROLEPLAY : NUMBER TWO **
====================================================

If there was one thing I hated about being a professional wrestler, it was all the spotlight bullshit.
Ye I lived on the streets, Ye I had nothin. Now I got errrthang. Back then if yall told me I would
be famous, I woulda prob pulled out ma dick and cock slapped you. I would think bout shit
doee. Thinkin bout things I woulda prob thought all the interviews, conferences, and media
bullshit would be propa, legit, and swag. Lemme be the first to say it aint.

Its a bunch of bullshit. The media is a bunch of white boys with fancy hair, fancy suites, and
fancy rings on they mothafuckin pale hands. Yall can call em gay or a "batti-boi".

Maybe if they had some fuckin whores, sluts, models, maybe lesbians... ye gotta love them
lesbians. If the media had all that, I wouldn't mind. Get interviewed then get sucked on
and fucked by sexy woman. Sounds legit.

Here I am stuck up in another mothafuckin press conference. Was it borin?, Fuck yeah.
Did I need to use the washroom?, Fuck yeah.
Did I have a boner?, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU WANT TO KNOW, YOU FUCKIN PERVERTS.

Sorry...

Anyways this press conference was different. The interviews this week were different.
The media was different. I didn't mind the media, the questions, I didn't mind none
of it. Errrthang was alright, errthang was cool.

One reason, one reason only. This saturday was the biggest match of my career.
First main event. Gotta do it big.

What a better way to do it, then to team up with who is currently, the best wrestler
on the planet. Brandon Macdonald. Pound for Pound, I think so. Usually I would want
to steal that for him, maybe sneak in a knockout, get in the spotlight, brag and say
I knocked out the IWF Champion, but this time... ye it was different.

Last week I had a six man tag match and I thought it was bullshit.
I didn't want to be nobodys bitch, nobodys tag team partner.

This week, its Team Swag blowin the roof off and makin the panties drop.
I wouldn't lay a hand on ma boy, B-Mac.

This week I am showin up to be a Tag Team Partner. Hes showin up
to be a Tag Team Partner also. I understand that. We both gon
have eachothers backs, and we wont cock block eachother.

We both know eachother. We both got our own targets. We both
know what we gon do. We aint gon get in eachothers way.
I wanna knock out Van Rose, he wants to fuck up Corey Casey...
for the hundreth time in a row?, I think so.

| RANDO |
Um, James Shark?, the media and interviewers will be here in about 5 minutes, are you ready?

::CONFIDENT:: | JAMES SHARK |
Dawg, I've been ready. Bring the mandems in here whenever homie.

| RANDO |
Ok.

Homie opened the door, and out poured the media and interviewers.
5 Minutes?... pshhhh, they were waiting out there for the longest.

I studied each one of them, one by one. They looked like kids
at a new candy shop. They looked amazed. These were the days
were I felt like a King.

Motherfuckers looked at me like I had somethin on ma face.
Oh...wait.. what if I did have something on ma face?...
somethin called... "SEXY!!" ahhhhhhhhh freshhhhhh.

Anyways...

I spotted out a shawty.
Damn. Shawty comin hard on the sexy meter.

I swear to god if this chick is in here with her papa, Ill
let papa watch as I destroy that pum pum.
I gotta have that.

White chick.
Brunette.

I remember what Zedics pussy tasted like.
Tasted like a white girls pussy.
I did like pink pussy instead of a black chicks
purple pussy.

I remember this one time I fucked this black chick
and I was lickin her pussy....
I felt like I was makin out with Barney.

....Maybe Im gettin off track?
Bottom line is.
Ima make it ma mission to hit that.
Im hittin that.
Damn, Im hittin that.

After everyone was in their seat, a white man representing the IWF Booking Staff came up to the podium.

| IWF REPRESENTATIVE |
Ladies and Gentlemen. Welcome to the James Shark press confrence.
you look here and you may think Its weird that theres a press confrence
with just one person. Believe me... I do too, but that just goes to show
you how popular James Shark is.

Love him or hate him. Cheer him or Boo him, James Shark comes out to
the IWF Ring, each and every night. He hypes fights, he talks shit, he
backs it up, and he puts asses in seats.

Not only is he one of the most talked about superstar in the roster.
He is one of the most dangerous superstars in that locker room.
When that bell rings, I dont care if your a champion or a legend,
if James Shark is on the other end, and he has his game face on,
you have to be shaking, you have to be scared shitless, and if
your not, your either lying or something is terribly wrong with
you and you must be checked out immiedietly.

Once that fucking bell rings, James Shark comes out guns blazing,
throwing wild hooks and haymakers, stepping in, leaping out,
landing his shots, picking his shots, and looking for the knockout.
He always finds the knockout.

He is 5-1 in his IWF Career with an amazing 9 Knockouts in the ring.
Even when he was kicked out of his match on Bloody Sunday, he managed
to knockout top superstar, Death Angel, out cold, not once, but twice.

This saturday he teams up with Brandon Macdonald.
The current IWF Champion.

This man is no joke, and believe me, he really needs no introduction.
If you dont know who Brandon Macdonald is, your either living under
a rock, or you were stuck in a coma for the last few years.

They will form the Team of Team Swag.

Their opponents did not hesitate to make fun of the name and talk
shit. Can they back it up though?

Their opponents, former IWF Champion, Corey Casey.
Corey Casey is a moron. Im sorry, I said it.
Im suppose to hype the fights, Im suppose to make
both parties sound equal, and talk positively about
both parties, but I will be honest.

Corey Casey is out of his mind if he believes he is
walking out of this match with a win. He has the
worst partner anyone can ask for.

He teams up with an out of shape, grandfather,
Vincent Van Rose.

Despite how the match is so one sided, it is sure
to be one hell of a main event, with Team Swag
showing off their Swagger.

Now without further a due, I give you, the
former Full Throttle Champion, James Shark!.

I stood up still laughing at how the Booking representative hyped the match.
He got ma black ass pretty hyped up. I couldn't wait to get in the ring.
I walked over to the podium, nodded my head and gave the representative
some props. I smiled and the media and gave a wink to that chick
from a far.

I grabbed the microphone and brought it close to my lips.

::CONFIDENT:: | JAMES SHARK |
Maaaaaaaaaaaayne.
I dont kno what the hell to say to dat.
I mean, homeboy said errthang I needed
to say feel me?

This match... without a doubt will be the
funnest match in my career.

Vincent Van Rose, is gonna be ma sparring
partner. Ima throw his ass around like a
ragdoll and drop him on his fuckin head.

The dude talked so much, and ran his mouth.
Then the dudes gonna say I got the big mouth
and that I talk alot...

Dawg.... you called me out.
Dawg.... you started runnin yo mouth.

I dont kno why he gotta be butt hurt and cry like
a little bitch. He like... he like..

"James Shark made fun of me, WAAAAAH"
"James Shark called me brokeback, I am not brokeback WAHHHH"
"James Shark called me gay, how can I be gay if I sucked ma mommies tits when I was young, WAAAAAH"
"James Shark wont stop making fun of me, get him to stop, WAAAAAH"

Like I dont know whats more annoying and irritating.
Havin to listen to the man whine and complain, or
havin to listen to him run his mouth.

I dont get it either.
Its one thing to be young
and stupid.

But this is a grown ass man.
This motherfucker is like 80 years old.
This motherfuckers sperm is all dried up
and he wears diapers.

Hes an old dude whining and bitching.
Dawg... if you gon talk shit, I aint gon
let it pass cause yo a senior, Ima talk
shit back and defend ma'self homie.

I talk back, and you cry and tell me
to stop?,the dude is insane. Not only
is he old, he got the baddest memory.
Let me tell yall a little something about
Vincent Van Rose.

Vincent Van Rose called me out, he called
me a slave, blah blah blah. I responded. I
talked shit bout him, and then the battle of
the words began. It was back and forth.

Then... I lost the Full Throttle Championship.
Did VVR say hes done with me when I lost
the title?

did he??

The media looked up at me and just flashed their pictures and recorded
on their video cameras and had their microphones up in the air looking
at me with a blank stare.

::CONFIDENT:: | JAMES SHARK |
No, hell nahh, he didn't.
Then when I knocked him out.
Knocked him out cold.

He goes on air and says, James Shark Im done.
Done with you, done with your bullshit.
He tells the whole world he dont want to fight me,
then he says its cause I aint nothin no more.

Motherfucker I probs just got awarded motherfuckin
knockout of the year when I made Ryan Appolos do a
motherfuckin 360 flip.

Oh and who is he to be sayin I aint nothin.
Last time I checked, Im ranked #3 in IWF.
#3. Do yall know what Vincent is ranked in?

Little ole Vinny is ranked #14.
THE DUDE AINT EVEN IN THE TOP 10.

So its just a bunch of bullshit.
I gotta admit, if anyones done with
anyone Im done with VVR.

I cant wait to get shit over with.
Ima have fun makin him ma punchin bag
and punchin him in the gut, head, everywhere
and expecially in the mouth.

When Im done knocking Vincent Van Rose I dont want
no Corey Casey bullshit.

I dont want to have to same situation as B-Mac, havin to face
Corey Casey 100 times, again and again, beating him again and again.

This is the last time Ill face Vincent Van Rose because Mr.14 dont
desereve to be in the ring with me. Hes talked his way up to a high profile match
with the IWF Champion, and #3 in the world.

He aint gon get another opportunity.

I nodded my head and sat back down, and took a long sip of some water. The IWF
Representative stood up and signaled the media for me to answer some questions.
The hands went up in the air and the cameras flashed some more.