This and This and That, and even This

Brandon was walking through the city streets one day. It was a beautiful day in Miami, which was where Brandon spent most of his time now-a-days. Anna was with him. He had smoked a lot of weed that day, so he was pretty high. Everything was moving so slowly. Except for one man, who ran up towards the two of them. He held out something in his hand.

Brandon: "What is this?"

Salesman: "This is the latest energy drink"

Brandon: "Why would I want this?"

Salesman: "It'll make you run faster, jump higher."

Brandon: "Will it actually?"

Salesman: "Yes, it in fact will. Give it a try"

He held it more in Brandon's face. He took the drink, and stared at it for a bit, before looking back at the salesman.

Brandon: "Man, I'm not gonna let you poison me"

Brandon took the energy drink and lifted his arm up in the air. Then, he threw it on the ground!

Salesman: "What are you doing?!"

Brandon: "You must think I'm a joke"

Salesman: "No, I really don't. I'm just trying to make a living here"

Brandon: "By approaching random strangers and giving them poison?"

Salesman: "That's just the system I was told to use"

Brandon: "I ain't gonna be part of your system!"

The man stared at them for a bit. He pulled out another can.

Salesman: "Are you sure that you don't want to at least try this?"

Brandon: "Man, pump that garbage in another man's face"

Brandon grabbed Anna's hand and walked away, leaving the salesman behind, with the broken energy drink can lying on the ground.

Anna: "Well that was odd"

Brandon: "You're telling me. Glad I'm high, otherwise I might have punched him"

The two of them walked over to a hot dog stand. It was the same hot dog stand that they went to whenever they came to Miami. It sold amazing hot dogs. It was definitely Brandon's favourite hot dog stand.

Brandon: "I have the munchies like mad"

Anna: "Same here. I'm starving"

Brandon walked over to the stand. The vendor looked at the two of them.

Vendor: "Hey man. The usual?"

Brandon: "Yes sir"

Brandon watched as the man made the hot dog for him. The vendor held it out once he was finished.

Vendor: "You come here all the time! Here's one for free"

Brandon looked at the vendor, then at Anna. He looked back at the hot dog vendor.

Brandon: "Man! What I look like, a charity case?!"

Brandon took the hot dog. He took it, and threw it on the ground!

Vendor: "W-What was that for?"

Brandon: "I don't need your handouts!"

Vendor: "You're acting like a child here sir"

Brandon: "I'm not child. I'm an adult!"

Vendor: "But-"

Brandon: "Please!"

Vendor: "I just wanted to give you a free hot dog"

Brandon: "You can't buy me hot dog man!"

Brandon grabbed Anna, and walked away, leaving the hot dog man fuming behind them.

Anna: "Well now we have nothing to eat"

Brandon: "It's okay. I didn't like the way he was talking to me"

Anna: "Who does he think he is, trying to give us free food?!"

Brandon: "Exactly! Fuck this system, I ain't no charity. I'll buy my own damn hot dogs"

Anna: "Let's go to the farmers market. Get some food there"

Brandon: "Sounds good to me"

Together they made their way over to the local farmers market, where they found a bunch of little things to buy, which would satisfy their munchies. As they were walking to leave, Anna's phone rang. She answered it.

Anna: "Hello? Oh, just a sec"

Anna held out the phone to Brandon

Anna: "It's your dad"

Brandon took the phone and looked at it for a moment.

Brandon: "Man, this ain't my dad!"

Anna: "What do you mean?"

Brandon: "This is a cell phone!"

Brandon lifted the phone high in the air, and threw it on the ground! It smashed into a bunch of pieces.

Anna: "What the fuck?!"

Brandon: "What, you think I'm stupid?!"

Anna: "Brandon, you high bastard, what the hell"

Brandon: "I'm not a part of your system!"

Anna: "Your dad just wanted to talk to you"

Brandon: "My dad's not a phone! Duh!"

Anna: "You high fuck. I meant your dad was on the other end"

Brandon: "Ooooohhhhhhhhhh"

Anna: "Yeah"

Brandon: "Oh, well then my bad sweetie. I'll buy you a new phone later"

Anna: "You better"

Brandon: "SO it was really my dad?"

Anna: "Yeah. He seemed worried. Wanted to talk to you"

Brandon: "Probably wanted to talk about my drug use. He can suck a dick"

Anna: "Brandon, he's your dad."

Brandon: "I don't care. He can't tell me how to live my life"

Brandon and Anna began walking down a residential street. There were a lot of kids running around. Brandon looked and saw a bunch of people gathering around. There was a big Happy Birthday sign on the front of the house.

Brandon: "What do ya say?"

Anna: "Why the fuck not?"

Brandon crosse the street, and he and Anna walked in through the fence. Kids were all running around, holding pieces of cake. Brandon saw the rest of the cake standing on a table off to the side.

Brandon: "Cake!"

He walked over to the table, but a kid cut in front of him. He looked like a big poser. Standing there, all stupidly, all poser-like. What a poser. He handed Brandon a piece of the cake. Brandon took the cake and looked at the kid.

Brandon: "What you want me to do with this, eat it?!"

Poser: "Yeah....."

Brandon: "Is it your birthday poser?"

Poser: "Yes"

Brandon: "Well. Happy birthday to the ground!"

Brandon took the piece of cake and raised it up in the air. Then he threw it on the ground!

Poser: "Wow, are you serious?"

Brandon walked over to the table. He took the rest of the cake and threw it on the ground too!

Poser: "Why did you do that?!"

Brandon: "Welcome to the real world, jackass!"

Poser: "Mom! Dad!"

Brandon: "So many things to throw on the ground!"

Brandon grabbed Anna and ran away, as the dad chased after the two of them. Brandon grabbed a watermelon, and threw it on the ground!

Brandon: "Like this!"

Brandon grabbed a necklace off a woman's neck, and threw it on the ground!

Brandon: "And this!"

He grabbed a cooked chicken that a woman was carrying to her car, and threw it on the ground!

Brandon: "And that!"

Brandon grabbed a mans phone as he was talking on it, and threw it on the ground!

Guy: "Get back here you stupid kid!"[/color]

Brandon: "I'm an adult!"

Brandon and Anna ran into some restaurant. It was a very classy restaurant, and was crowded. Brandon walked to the entrance. He saw two guys sitting at a table. They were clearly a couple of Hollywood phonies. Brandon looked over at Anna.

Brandon: "See those two guys looking at me?"

Anna: "Yeah, what about them?"

Brandon: "They're trying to give me their autographs"

Anna: "How? They aren't even near us."

Brandon: "Because they are some Hollywood phonies. Can't you see it?"

Anna: "No, not really"

Brandon: "Hmmm. I'm gonna go talk to them about it"

Brandon walked over to the table where the guys sat.

Phony: "Can we help you?"

Brandon: "I'd appreciate it if you two phonies would stop trying to give me your autograph"

Phony: "What? We were doing no such thing"

Brandon: "Ground!"

Brandon grabbed the table and flipped it over onto the ground, sending everything crashing with it. He walked away as the two phonies stood up. One of them pulled out a taser, and they chased after Brandon outside. They tackled him to the ground. One of them grabbed the taser and shoved it at Brandon's asshole. It shocked the hell out of him.

Brandon: "Fuck dude, stop tasing my butthole!"

Brandon was screaming and squirming, but the phonies didn't let up. They continued to tase him in the asshole. Brandon felt like he was on fire. Eventually, the phonies stood up and walked away, laughing. Brandon stood up, and Anna walked over, laughing.

Anna: "That was fucking hilarious!"

Brandon: "Thanks for helping me slut"

Anna: "It was too funny to help. Those two really owned you"

Brandon: "They were tasing me, what the fuck could I do?"

Anna: "I don't know. Stop being so stupid?"

Brandon: "Maybe. That was fun though"

Anna: "It was hilarious. So, did you learn anything? Any morals?"

Brandon: "Yeah, I learned a moral of the story"

Anna: "What was the moral of the story?"

Brandon: "You can't trust the system!"

Anna: ""

Brandon: "Man!"