I know why the Shadow Demon sings...

Subject: I know why the Shadow Demon sings... Fri Jul 01, 2011 1:59 pm

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You know, I read something the other day and it truly made me think. I was reading through a book by Kurt Vonnegut and came across a theory that one of his characters had. This theory stated that there was only one person on this Earth who was capable of independent thought. The rest of the planet was made up of nothing more than mindless robots who all thought, acted, and believed in the same things.

This theory resonated with me so strongly because, if you look at the landscape that is taking shape in IWF today, you see that there are two groups. There is a chunk of the main roster and this new group formed by Brandon Macdonald…and then there is Se7en. Now, according to Vonnegut’s theory, there is only one person who is able to think for themselves and be an independent person. See…that’s where I think Vonnegut has got it wrong.

There are Se7en individuals who are able to think for themselves. Se7en individuals who have banned together in order to works towards achieving the common good. Se7en’s members are freely thinking people who have recognized that they share some common beliefs with others and have joined together to celebrate and discuss those ideals. The rest of the roster? Well…they don’t fit the mold for what Vonnegut deems as “free and independently thinking people.” And the worst offender is Brandon Macdonald and his group of boy scouts.

Brandon has successfully done what all good tyrants must do: recognize that there is an enemy (be it a real or imaginary enemy), whip up some support through the use of recruiting and propaganda, and then direct your troops where to attack. Brandon has done this by taking advantage of the fact that, not including the members of Se7en, the entire roster of IWF is made up of degenerate robots who pander to the mindless, unwashed masses in order to curry some sort of favor. Brandon has been able to find the guys on the roster who value the audience’s opinion more than anything else, and use that fact to recruit them to what he is calling the “side of righteousness” or some such garbage.

All of this brings me to you, Shadow Demon. I think it’s just fine and dandy that you have joined up with Brandon’s little Boy Scout brigade. I think it’s all good that you have taken on the role of Brandon’s right hand man as it were. But see, where I start to have a problem with the whole situation, is the fact that you are still the acting GM of Battle Grounds.

A good GM is supposed to put her personal allegiances aside and do what is best for the show or brand he is representing isn’t he? A good GM doesn’t let personal feelings cloud his own best judgment when it comes time to make some tough decisions. And yet, last week when I was facing Jason Hawk in his final match, you felt the need to get involved in my match and interfere on behalf of your good buddy Jason. Thanks to your interference, the last match of the once mighty Jason Hawk will now forever be remembered, not as the last match of a man who played a huge role in this industry, his last match will not be remembered as the final in-ring masterpiece put on by the great Jason Hawk. No…Jason Hawk’s last match will forever be remembered as the match that Jason won because Shadow Demon just couldn’t help himself…Jason Hawk’s last match will be remembered as a disgrace because Jason Hawk couldn’t beat his longtime rival Corey Casey on his own, he had to get a little help from a bitter old clown.

Instead of helping your friend, SD, you’ve disgraced him

You know, ever since signing on as the GM of Showtime, you’ve been a constant fucking thorn in my side. From constantly booking the members of The Chosen in shitty matches, to joining up with Brandon and his fucking band of retarded monks, you have been nothing but a bitter, spiteful pain in my fuckin’ ass. And honestly, I think it’s about time that I put down the clown once and for all.

You really have the nerve to sit here and criticize Se7en? You really feel the need to speak out and compare Se7en to the abortion known as Salvation? Really? Take a look at Se7en compared to Salvation Shadow Demon:

Salvation:
-Brenton Cyrus is God
-Everyone must bow down to BC
-Salvation had a deeply religious following that made the City of Salvation
-Everyone and their brother was a member of Salvation at some point
-Salvation was formed when BC woke up one day, decided to proclaim himself “God” and then convinced his good buddy Chuck Matthews and a brain washed Alex Mark to go along with his idea (despite the fact that, if you look back on it, Chuck Matthews never once referred to BC as “God”)

Se7en:
-No one is claiming to be a god
-There is joint leadership of Se7en
-Even with joint leadership, every member pretty much gets a say in how things are done
-Se7en isn’t trying to spread their own cult like religion to the masses
-We don’t have some asinine city
-Se7en was formed when The Chosen (under my leadership) merged together with Chuck, Ashley and Matt Rydell’s little stable (notice: no one woke up one day and proclaimed themselves a “god”)

Should I go on? Or are you going to go ahead and finally start to rub the make up out of your eyes and realize that you’re talking out of your ass?

But no, I don’t think this is going to suffice now is it SD? You’re just going to keep screaming at the top of your lungs “AT LEEZT EYE IZ ORIGANAL! EYE IZ DOEN DA HOLE FUNY KLOWN TING!” Yeah Shadow…that’s real original. Weren’t you still doing that shit when you and Phoenix Rising (AKA- The Real “Epic Fail” Nick Ridicule) used to run around NLWF? And how did that one end up working out for you?

Oh….that’s right…you got your ass handed to you and your career almost ended by KINFE TO KNOW YOU!

Ouch…

On second thought SD, maybe you should keep doing the whole “lovable clown” thing…that way Se7en doesn’t have to try so hard. We can just kick back, relax, and watch as more clowns crawl out of the IWF wood work and hand your ass to you on a silver platter.

You know why Se7en deserves the tag team titles? Because Chuck and I never truly lost them that’s why!

ROLL THE FOOTAGE MONKIES!

-Footage begins rolling from NLWF Revolution 34-

Nick Ridicule stops at the top of the stage. He brings the microphone to his mouth and smiles.

Nick Ridicule
NLWF tag team title rules state, that no one man, is allowed to defend the belts. Some call it the Ryan Apollos rule, I call it stripping Bad Company of the tag team titles and removing them from the record books.

Cornell - HE CAN’T DO THAT!

Greed - I hate to admit it, but he’s right!

Nick Ridicule
I told you fuckers you weren’t leaving this show with the Tag Team Titles.

Nick Ridicule leaves to the backstage area.

Cornell - When Bad Company forced Nick Ridicule to defend the tag team titles alone at the return show, they broke one of the rules! Of course Nick jumps all over a technicality!

-The scene returns to show Corey Casey once more-

Oh….that’s right…after Chuck and I beat the snot out of the Death Slayers…Nick Ridicule decided to invoke his tag team title rematch and he chose DA as his partner. So, in two back to back matches, Chuck and I defended our tag team titles…AND WE WON BOTH MATCHES! But, in typical “Epic Fail” fashion, Nick just couldn’t stomach actually LOSING so he stripped Chuck and I of the tag team titles. THAT’S THE REASON WHY I THINK SE7EN CAN DO WHAT IT WANTS WHEN IT COMES TO CROWNING NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! Not to mention that, when it comes to the crowning new tag team champions, you might as well just hand the titles over to the greatest tag team that this industry has ever seen.

Corey Casey and Chuck Matthews

Anyways, enough ripping on the clown. He’s done a good enough job proving to the world that he is a disgrace anyways. Let’s move on to the NEW IWF World Heavyweight Champion Dan “Damn Lucky” Alexander!

First of all, congrats on the big title win man. You really put on a hell of a show with RRL. I mean, you guys really almost stole the show there. Unfortunately you were, once again, upstaged by a guy who knows what it’s like to face REAL competition. You got upstaged by the first ever TRUE winner of the Path to Valhalla Match in IWF History…you got upstaged by “The Lord” Corey Casey. That’s nothing to be ashamed of dude. I mean, you won your first ever IWF World Title from Ruben. I mean, Ruben didn’t really EARN that IWF Title…and beating Ruben isn’t exactly the same as beating someone who has been a consistent main eventer…but still, congrats to you.

Now that congratulations are out of the way…I want my title back.

I am going to make this one PAINFULLY obvious to you Dan m’boy…you have officially been placed on the endangered species list. Brandon STOLE MY IWF WORLD TITLE FROM ME. Brandon then, in turn, disgraced himself and IWF by almost dying in the ring and losing the title to Ruben…who was then beaten by you. So, long story short here, you are the guy who has officially jumped to the #2 spot on my “people to decapitate” list.

You’re IWF Title reign is running on fumes Dan…you’re on borrowed time mate. Enjoy the view from the top of the heap Dan, bask in the glory of the masses, enjoy the whirlwind press tours and talk shows, live it up in Vegas with that IWF Title. Just make sure that you don’t get too comfortable Dan…because you are on borrowed time. From The Ashes is right around the corner…and you can be DAMN sure that I am going to do everything in my power to prove to the world that you are just as big a hypocrite and a fraud as Brandon Macdonald.

At Ragnarok, you beat a transitional champion…you beat a guy who is nothing more than a footnote in the history books of IWF. There was never a doubt in anyone’s mind that this young upstart Dan Alexander would be victorious against the overrated RRL. This week though…you get a taste of what it’s like to play with the big boys of IWF. This week, we see if Dan Alexander has what it takes to step into the ring with the true main eventers of IWF…the guys who will have entire CHAPTERS dedicated to them in the IWF History Books. This week…you step into the ring with two of the greatest legends in professional wrestling today. And I can promise you Dan…you will realize why it is that Corey Casey and Chuck Matthews are two of the most feared names in professional wrestling today. I promise you that.

So it is written
So it shall come to pass
Quoth The Lord
LIVE IN SIN!