Ain't that some shit!

Lee was doing what he said was going to do. He was going to stop taking his medication. He needed his medication like a fish needed water to survive. This was a very bad idea to not take his medication, but Lee didn't care. He wanted to be in the zone, the killing zone. He refused to take his medication when his mother came down into his room to give it to him every morning. It was so bad, that one time she tried to get him to take his medication, he pushed her over and sent her out of his room. He was a wrestler now and needed to have some sort of anger to even try to hurt someone. She didn't know what to do. He would get so angry that he'd punch holes in the walls and get extremely violent.

Lee had never been off his medication at all. He would take it every day without even blinking an eye. Now though, he was pissed off. He was pissed off that he couldn't drink with his medication. What was he going to do? Not drink his favorite beer in the world, Rickards Red, a Canadian beer that you either really like or hate. He was on the side of the fence that loves that beer. He wasn't at the bar yet. It was about a thirty minute walk from there to here. He walked it because he would save money from not getting a taxi. It was only fall anyway so it didn't really matter as far as weather went. It was cool but not cold. He didn't go to meet women or make friends. He wanted to go to drink some great beer and start a fight with some punk who looked at him the wrong way.

Walking down the road, it wasn't the most exciting thing in the world. He had his iPod with him and would listen to gangsta rap as he walked to the bar. It was probably the nicest bar in the whole town. He knew it would be dead, as in nobody there, and he would have decent service. He didn't really like the employees there. The one he hated the most was the bouncer. Why? He always asked for identification no matter what age you looked like or how many fucking times you've been there. This time, when he was working the door checking people's cards, Lee waltzed right up to him. Of course the man asked for I.D. Lee told him to fuck off. Did he look seventeen? No. He is fucking twenty seven years old. The bouncer didn't say anything as he walked in.

He walked down the bar room and sat at the very end of the the bar. There were a few people scattered here and there in the bar. Lee didn't pay much attention to them. He just wanted to get a beer or two and start a fight. He asked for his favorite, a half pitcher of Rickard's Red. It was enough for him. He didn't want to have to go to the washroom every fifteen minutes. He poured himself a glass and took a sip of it. Then he looked around the bar for someone he could really mess up. He couldn't wait to punch someone in the face. He couldn't wait to hurt someone. For now though, he just had to play it cool. He really enjoyed his beer, but he was still in a foul mood.

He then saw two young kids come in. They had to have just turned eighteen which is the age limit for drinking in Quebec. He gave them a mean stare and they looked away. He continued drinking his drink. The two young kids got their order and decided that they would sit at the bar too to drink their drinks. They weren't sitting close to Lee at all, so he just ignored them for now. Lee then started hearing voices. The voices started saying weird things like these people hate you and want to fight you. The voice said that they are laughing at you when they laugh together. Lee tried to ignore it, but the voices got even more intense. He drank some more.

Lee then did something he shouldn't have done. He walked over there where the young kids were. One of them was laughing. This really ticked off Lee. Lee grabbed him by the shirt and punched him right in the face, knocking him out cold. He let him fall to the ground. Then the other guy tried to fight Lee. Lee ducked a couple of punches and then gave him a knee in the stomach. He followed it up with a brutal kick to the face. Both young kids were down out cold. The bouncer ran over to kick him out of the bar. He came over and said "You get out of my bar. If you don't leave the area we will call the cops on you. Wait, what am I saying the cops are going to be here any second.

Lee grabbed his belongs at his chair and walked swiftly out of the bar. He did what he wanted to do. He wanted to kick some ass and drink some beer. Both of those things were done that night in the small town that he lived in. He went back home. They didn't even call the cops, or the cops didn't know where to look for him. He pretty much got off with not even a slap on the wrist. The only thing was that he couldn't go back to that bar because the bouncer knows he is a huge trouble maker.



***

That was the first day he was off his medication. He didn't want to take it anymore and there was nothing anyone could do about it. He went home, slightly drunk and went down stairs to his bed. It was late at night, and he went home straight to bed. He was tired and a little drunk. Each day that he didn't take the medication he got meaner and meaner. The voices would get stronger and stronger. He was going down hill, in a down hill. He felt is worse. The voices were getting strong. They told him to go upstairs and kill his mother. He tried to fight it off. He knew that would be a very bad idea. He fought the urge, it was strong. It was so hard not to walk upstairs and kill his mother right there while she slept.

He started to punch himself in the head. He had to do anything that would change his mind about killing his mom. Anything. He didn't want to do it. The voices said he had to do it or he himself would die. The voices told him he'd suffer a painful death. He ignored the voices, but he had to do something. He had to get his mind off it. He didn't want to kill his mom, she was all he had. He wanted to wrestle, he wanted to fight, he wanted to hurt people. The one person he didn't want to hurt was his mother. He fought the urge and took a seat.

He needed to get his mind off of it. So what did he do? He turned on the television and started looking for something funny to watch. He found Sponge Bob Square Pants. It was a funny show, but Lee couldn't concentrate. He was losing his mind, all because he wanted a mean streak for the ring. His regular self couldn't fight. His regular self couldn't hurt anyone. It was clear that he was losing this fight with his mind. He had to give in and take a sleeping pill. It's the only thing that he could do. So he slowly went up stairs and found the bottle of pills. He opened them, broke one in half because they are strong, and then took it with a sip of water.

It would take it about twenty minutes to work. After he took one, he went down stairs and went to his bed. He got as comfortable as he could. He had to settle down. Killing his mom or punching himself in the face wasn't going to do the trick. He had to resort to medication of some sort, so sleeping and relaxing pills did the trick. He was out like a light in no time, but how much longer could he put up with this and how long could he fight the urge to hurt people that he is close to.

It was really hard for him not to do things that were extremely harmful to other people. He was a danger to himself and others. He wanted to bust someone's spine and break some legs. He couldn't wait to step into the ring again at a Insurgency Wrestling Federation show. It's what he dreamed of and why he's willing to put people's lives at danger, including himself. He wanted the heavyweight championship wrestling belt around his waist as soon as possible.

He drifted off to sleep. How was he going to keep this up, not hurting people you love but hurting people you have no feelings for or plain out hate? He had no clue, but if there is a will, there is a way. Maybe if he moved out and found a different place to live. It'd be the only way for him to compete without hurting people he loved and cared about. He would think of that in the morning, but for now, he was off to dream land.

***


The next morning, Lee got up out of bed. He felt a lot better. Well, he wasn't hearing any voices at the present time. He had to go tell his mom something. It was something she wouldn't like but he had to do it. He walked up the stairs. It was about eleven in the morning. He told his mom that he had to move out. It had to do with his career. He said he didn't want to be waking her up in the middle of the night after wrestling on a few wrestling shows.

His mom said it was a good idea, because she was busy with his god son every day. So that's what he did. He had the perfect spot planned out. He said he was going to live in the Ghetto of his home. He went there with his mother to sign the lease. It was a one year deal. He had to pay the first and last month up front. That was no problem for him because he just got paid by The Insurgency Wrestling Federation. He paid for them and then he was handed the keys to his apartment.

It was only a bachelor apartment. It had no bedrooms. It just had enough room for a bed in the corner. It had a kitchen and bathroom, but that was it. It was heated in the winter and in the summer you had to suffer in the heat. It was pretty good. It didn't cost him that much at all, which was great because he wouldn't be home much. He wasn't allowed animals, which was fine with him because he didn't have any animals and he wouldn't be able to take care of them, let alone a house plant.

It didn't take him long to move in. He didn't need a lot a stuff. He had his bed and a dresser. That's all he needed. His mom asked him if he needed anymore stuff, he just said no. He wasn't going to be home all the time so just a bed and a dresser was fine. He figured he'd be too tired to care about television. There was one other thing that he needed that his mom mentioned and that was a refridgerator. He got one of those from the store.

His first show back would be on the 12th in Edmonton, Alberta. He wasn't wrestling but he had to be there according to his contract. His contract states that he must be brought in for every card that The Insurgency Wrestling Federation. He was willing to do just that, as long as he got paid for it. He wanted money and he wanted to hurt people. He wanted to win and he wanted to get championship belts around his waist. Those were his goals for life and professional wrestling.

***

It was time to go to the Insurgency Wrestling Federation Battleground's show. He was already at the hotel, to spare the boring packing, taking the plane and going to the hotel parts. He was hearing voices. Telling him to do bad things. It said to hurt someone really bad at tonight's event. He loved what he heard. He wanted to do that. He wanted to cause some Mayhem. He wanted to do more than throw some chairs. He wanted to do more than beat up a couple of geeks at the bar. He wanted to send someone to the hospital. He wanted to break people's arms. He wanted to destroy people in the ring. He was in the right state of mind. He wanted it all. He didn't care if fans like him or not. He's not doing this for the fans. He's doing it for the money. He's not doing it for the fame. He's doing it because he wants to hurt people. It's what he loves to see. To see pain in people's eyes. He just loves that.


***

Once he was at the arena, after taking a really crappy car with him to the show, He found the locker room. There were a few people in there, but he didn't want to even talk to them. He had to control his temper. He has to control his urges. He wanted to punch them both in the face and put them through a wall. He slaps himself hard across the face. The people in the room just look at him. Lee is losing control. He punches himself in the head. He was very angry at the moment and he didn't care what happened. He was ready to kill. The voices told him to beat someone up. The voices told him to knock someone out. He had to get out of there as fast as he could. He didn't want to get suspended before he even had his return appearance on television. He had that to worry about that first. Then he had to think about hurting someone really bad. He wanted to punch someone in the face until they were black and blue. He had to. He had no choice.


***

As he stood there in the locker room, he started to get a flash back. He started thinking about what had happened to him a long time ago. It was at his mom's house when he was about twenty one years old. He was friends, okay more than friends, they kissed a bit but that was about it. Anyway, Lee had this thing about her sleeping around. He didn't want her to be doing that. He wanted her to wait for him. She promised to him that she wouldn't and Lee being the gullible tool believed her. This went on for a little while until she couldn't take it anymore. She said she had a boyfriend one day and that she had been sleeping with him all along. Lee was uber pissed off that he just stopped talking to her. He had enough of that. To lie about that, was ridiculous. Thinking about it then, Lee thought he was just as ridiculous about believing that she wasn't seeing anyone else. Lee never got the full truth from her. He hasn't talked to in about six years and Lee is glad that he stopped talking to her.

***