Where Does He Come Up With This Crack Of Shit?

Guest

James Shark (7-2-0) vs Dan Alexander(1-1-1)
Catacalysm 2
Where Does He Come Up With This Crack Of Shit?
Roleplay 5

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Funny stuff homie. Very funny stuff.
I would like to give you a reward for your good photoshop skills.
An award for your quality excuses, and an award for your stupidity when it
comes to the sport of pro wrestling.

So in the mail, you should get a pile of shit and a bedtime story.
You, everything you say, and your ablity in the ring is shit, and the bedtime
story is for you when I put you to sleep

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TUESDAY
CATACALYSM 2
AFTER WORKOUT RUN : OUTSIDE TRACK

I was training hard. So hard. I had to have run around this track about
twenty times now. Twenty times without stopping. If this was last week
I wouldn't be able to.

After the Nick fight, I realized the great shape I was in. I really was in the
best shape of my life.

I grabbed a bottle of water and instead of drinking it, I opened it and
poured it all over me. I walked up to the bleachers and sat down, taking
huge, huge deep breathes.

There was a reason why I started training so hard again. I wasn't planning
on training today. I had a big big press confrence tommorow.

Where Does He Come Up With This Crack Of Shit? 54046ff31ee34796ae8fcec

Where Does He Come Up With This Crack Of Shit? 54046ff31ee34796ae8fcec

I sat outside the bleachers. Hot summer day. Alot of people were coming
up to me. It was usual shit. Same type of people. I got the same chicks
who came up to me... you know, double d's, double looker of an ass.
They would come up to me asking to see my 12 inch, asking for a
picture, asking for some birthday sex, casual sex, angry sex, all
types of sex. Most of them just asked for my number though.

I got the usual nerdy ugly douchebags who looked like Dan. You know?
Creepy looking?, ugly teeth?... yea, them type. They would come up asking
for an autograph just so that they could sell it for money. Assholes. They
didn't even know who I was. They just come up to me cuz they see all these
people around me. They figure Im famous and they want an autograph.

I got the usual brothers. You know, ma niggas. They would come up to
me challenging me to a basketball match. They would want to smoke
some blunts with me. Get me to hook them up with some kush.. (yee
I do chop, if you want some, link up, reach up, do whatever you
gotta do to get dat kushh from me, I GOT NUFF.) They would send
me their mixtape and ask me what I think of it. The niggas man..
they the best fans. Sometimes they even hook me up with some
chicken. I love ma niggas, and the niggas love me, cause Im BLACK.

I got the ignorant, annoying white boys who thought pro wrestling
was fake. (COUGH DAN COUGH) They so annoying man. They usually
come up to me and I just be like "yo get off of ma dick" give them a
dirty look and they walk away. Oh but the white gyals?, white
gyals like ma homegirl Alison?, fuckin amazing. I LOVE WHITE
GIRLS... and white girls love me cause Im BLACK.

Because of all the different group of people that came up to me
I just didn't want to go out in public. It all started when I became
famous. I used to do alot of good promos, the reason for that was
cause my promos weren't scripted unlike Dan Alexander.... My
promos were the real shit. People loved it so much cuz of other
peoples reactions. They didn't know I was a celebrity so their
reactions would be pretty jokes.

However ever since I came into IWF and knocked the fuck out of
Chad Mason... who fuckin sucks. I started becoming famous. When
I became Full Throttle Champion, thats when people had their eyes
on me. Now I cant even go into a fuckin public washroom and take
a nice dump without some weirdo like Dan, asking me to sign they
fuckin shoe.

The reason why I came to a place so public and open like this track
to train was because of Dan Alexander. It all started when
I woke up this morning....

■ Start of Promo ■
■ 11am ■
■ Sharks Home ■

The scene begins to show a montage from Grand Theft Auto IV.
The song Gunshot by Akon began to fade in, and it seemed like
it was an online game that was being played.

It focused on a custom character of a black male. Everytime
he would kill someone the name "JFRESH" would come up.

Where Does He Come Up With This Crack Of Shit? F55e31e7816b465f9a4a356

Where Does He Come Up With This Crack Of Shit? F55e31e7816b465f9a4a356

♪♫ Anyone in the place tonight, if you dont want to be a
witness than walk away ♪♫

The montage begins to show JFRESH killing
pedestrians with grenades and guns, also running them over
with firetrucks and cars.

Tough Target 57
Woah dude, look, this JFRESH guy is just killing the pedestrians
and people that are computers, he probobly thinks those count
as kills or something, wow.

♪♫ Cause Im a soilder that love to fight and anyone in my
path will die today♪♫

The montage begins to show JFRESH crashing
into cars and killing everyone in his way by performing
drivebys.

Tough Target 57
Yo JFRESH, those people dont count as kills moron.

JFRESH
Shutup bitch nigguh

♪♫ By My...AK!!! GUNSHOT! ♪♫

The montage shows the custom character ontop of a roof
and head shot another player with a sniper.

KillOrBeKilled
WOW, this guy is on the roof!!

♪♫ By My...AK!!! GUNSHOT! ♪♫

The montage shows the custom character begin to spray
two other players with a machine gun, killing them.

Urine Joe
fucking douchebag

Foot Fetish Character
WOW!!!!

JFRESH
Dont hate the player, hate the game doeee

♪♫ By My... AK!!! GUNSHOT! ♪♫

The montage again begins to show more and more
series of killing by the custom character with guns
everytime the song says Gunshot.

Mambo Da Kambo
Yo your a little bitch JFRESH, you fucking suck!, your
using auto aim or something

JFRESH
Aint no auto aim in this game mothafuckaaaa

♪♫ Have you ever spent one night on my block?! ♪♫

The montage begins to show the JFRESH camping out on
a specific block and killing every player that walks through
the block.

Powerbomb360
This guy is just fucking camping on one spot, someone
kill him already oh my god.

♪♫ Had to make good with crooked ass cops ♪♫

The montage shows JFRESH allowing the cops to walk
through his block as they chase another player.

♪♫ Witness innocent bystanders get shot, made a living
ready or not ♪♫

The montage begins to show JFRESH killing players
that are trying to sneak up on him and killing bystanders.

♪♫ To stay true!, to all ma niggas. Things get hard but we
still grindin up. To stay true!, to all ma niggas. ♪♫

The montage begins to show JFRESH allowing black
players on his block and forming a gang with the
other black players.

LOLWUT
HAHAHA WOW Did you see what Dan Alexander
did to James Shark????

The music came to an erubt end.

JFRESH
What??, what happened? what he do?

Paul Kill All
I HEARD ABOUT THAT! HAHA! I JUST HEARD
ABOUT IT!

JFRESH
Fuckin tell me what he did to Shark

ICUP
JFRESH your so annoying. Dan hacked into
that TMZ Website and put up a whole bunch
of fake articles of James with really awful images.

JFRESH
Like what?

MAMBO DA KAMBO
All of you shut the fuck up with this wrestling
shit. Wrestling is gay.

ICUP
Oh YEAH that reminds me, he also made a promo with
a fake Dana White and said that wrestling was fake.
What a fucking dumbass.

■ End Of Promo ■
■ 12:00am ■
■ Sharks Home ■

So thats it.
Thats the reason why I came all the way out here to train.

I saw the goofy ass promos Dan made. I wasn't impressed. He
could've been creative. He could've done something new. He
copped off my style and did it all wrong.

Crappy photos and fake tweets.

I saw the one with the other black dude and me. Michael
Johnson from the Ultimate Fighter. He changed the guys
name and said Johnson was my boyfriend. Its funny
because hes usin up all them gay jokes at me, Im one of
the straightest mothafuckers in the locker room.

Dan is just sexually confused and hes taking it out on
me with bad graphic skills and pointless camera time.

I looked down at the camera that was pointed
towards me.

Where Does He Come Up With This Crack Of Shit? 74e41f9cd7eb406e9529c4f

Where Does He Come Up With This Crack Of Shit? 74e41f9cd7eb406e9529c4f

You know Dan... I wasn't surprised with what I saw.
I never seen you fight, I've just heard about you.
I already knew you did have a big mouth and
I expected shit like this... I just didn't expect
you to be that bad at it.

You didn't catch me off guard with the little cute
promo you made, and you didn't catch me off
guard with my mind game tactic.

Your a biter Dan.

Since you like the way I do buisness maybe after
I kicked you out of Nicks ass, your now up my
ass. My black ass. You up ma black ass homie.

If your going to try and get in my head with
pictures like I did to Nick and you. At least
try to have some photoshop skills. You took
a picture of me back from who knows when,
when I was rockin a mohawk, then you took
a Nick Ridicule picture, and you just squeezed
them together.

Nick Ridicule looked so damn skinny, and I looked
so damn fat. Like why you gotta have damn bad
picture skills dog?, could you have not just hired
someone to photoshop me with a red mohawk?

So I was rockin a hawk. Does that mean I am
Nick Ridicules #1 Fan?, nah, hell nah. Did you
not remember that I said your Nick Ridicule's
#1 Fan?

Then theres that rolling stone picture, I dont
know how bad you can get. I dont wanna think
like this but... I auctually do might think your
using somethin like Paint.

Jesus christ nigga!!!, your WHITE, buy an expensive
photo editing software!!

Where Does He Come Up With This Crack Of Shit? Downloadb

Where Does He Come Up With This Crack Of Shit? Downloadb

the hell wrong witchu postin up them bullshit
pictures edited with some program that came
free with yo crappy ass computer.

But wait.. first you take my mind game thaang
and you dont do it right... and then you just
take whatever I say to you, and reverse it
on me?.

Cool. "Cool Beans" as you white people say.

OH OH, HAHA, and this one, this ones
my favorite part. You make fake TMZ
reports of me.

Howd you do that?, did you use your
brains for once?, you hacked into the
TMZ site or did you just hire someone?.

Half of them didn't have pictures of me.
The one that did have a picture said I
was at a "gay bar".... yes Dan, because
in the picture, if you look in the background
you can clearly see that its a bar, because
theres chairs and tables right? WRONG.

Theres fuckin booksheleves and shit dog.

FAIL #423

Oh then you get my real TMZ Report of
yourself, you know.. the one with you
pissing yourself, and your explanation
for it, is..

"Oh uh.... I was talking to a girl at a bar... she told me
to have some of her drink... it like...spilled on me...then
the next morning I wake up... and I see a news report of
me... and uh... they all think I pissed myself"

Yea.... the next morning right?, the next fuckin
morning?. HOW THE FUCK is it still gonna be wet
dog?, are you dumb??. If you pissed yo panties
dont lie dog, man up or story up. If you still
wear them diapers, just admit it dog.

Plus... to be honest, you the worst story maker,
excuse maker... ever. Since when do you talk
to a girl anyways?. Fuckin faggot. You cant
even talk to a guy. Plus, that TMZ Picture of
you was taken in the morning you reet.

And the KFC bullshit thaaang?, I dont get the
point of it... I mean everyone knows I love KFC.
So.... uh... yeah anyways, I dont get the point of
any of this shit you doin.

However...enough about all this bullshit.
You wanna post fake tweets from twitter,
you wanna steal my lines, you wanna
play my game and do it with bad photoshop
skills... its all good. Keep doing it. Cause
Dan whatever makes you confident.

If theres something anyone and everyone
knows about me, its confidence is through
the roof. I took out and destroyed the only
man who has ever stole my confidence. Now
confidence is stronger than ever.

If you feel more confident hackin into TMZ
sites and gossip sites with fake pictures...
really really bad fake pictures. Then keep
it up. Cause I want chu to be confident Dan.

I wanna steal yo confidence, and I wanna
step on it.

Hopefully the Dan Alexander that shows
up this Saturday, wrestles better than
the excuses he makes. Cause if you
wrestle just as bad as yo excuses, its
gonna be goodnight Alexander.

Im tired of all this bullshit. Last week
was fuckin proper. Now Im not even
excited for this match.

I've been high up on the rankings of
the IWF. High up on the top 3 for a
very very long time. Now I have to
face you?

You showed the world that your
a quitter. Its going to be easy makin
you quit.

After I knock you out. Your going
to pull the same bullshit that you
pulled on Catacalysm. Your going
to try to quit.

Whats pathetic was... you quit
on quitting. Thats how much of
a quitter you are. Your all like...

"IWF MANAGEMENT SUCKS. I
KEEP LOSING!. I HAVE ONLY
BEATEN PEOPLE WITH A LOSING
STREAK IN A BATTLE ROYAL, IM
GOING TO QUIT."

Then IWF Management is all
like

"Ok... leave, you sucked anyways"

Then heres the good part, you quit
on quitting and you all like

"NEVERMIND!!, I will stay but I
AM VERY VERY UPSET!"

I dont know if I should laugh or cry.
You a fuckin loser dog. Making up
stories of a girl at a bar talking to you.

You would be lucky if a girl at a bar
even looked at you.

Oh and even if you did TALK to a girl
at a bar. I bet you my whole purse
she had a dick. A big hairy fat infected
dick that had your name on it.

You cant play this game Dan.

You cant just do what I do. It wont
work. You wont get in my head.

Im training for this match, and Im
training just as hard for you as I
was training for Nick Ridicule cause
I wanna do to you what I did to Nick
but 1000x worse.

I want to emberass you.
I want to see you cry.
I want to see you run.
I want to see you beg.

I would say Im going to make you my
bitch but to be honest.. your probobly
already a niggas bitch. Just look at you.
You have bitch written all over you..

Speaking of bitches, if your still into the
whole "PLEASE FUCK ME ALISON,
PLEASE I WILL DO ANYTHING, PLEASE
FUCK ME ALISON, PLEASE!"
Heres a picture of yo little bitch ass
friend, "Tiky Ming".

Where Does He Come Up With This Crack Of Shit? Yuno1

Where Does He Come Up With This Crack Of Shit? Yuno1

And I dont know how much Dana White
look-a-likes you went through to get the
best looking one, but if you want to talk
about wrestling being scripted and fake...

I cant wait to be the one to show you
how fucking real it really is.

When I punch you. Your going to bleed.
When I kick you. Your going to feel it.
When I knock you out. Your not waking up.

» Ain't that some shit!
» Shootin' the Shit with the Clown.....
» a bunch of shit
» Shit Remington Says
» You Can't Tell me I'm the Only One Who's Noticed This Shit.