House Rules

November 14, 2011
IWF House Show
Rogers Arena

Chuck sits backstage, staring at the monitor, where William Darlington bodyslams Jackky Dane onto the mat and starts stomping him out.

Anna Stone: “I don’t get it.”

Chuck glances over his shoulder at her. She leans against the wall, watching Chuck.

Chuck Matthews: “What’s not to get? He’s got his opponent down, why not continue on the offense?”

Anna shakes her head.

Anna Stone: “I mean, why are we here? This is for the indy guys, not for the big league names.”

Chuck smiles.

Chuck Matthews: “I made my claim to fame doing this kinda stuff. Getting a cult following on non-televised shows. I like to see the future of the company.”

Anna shrugs.

Anna Stone: “I think it’s a waste of time.”

Chuck Matthews: “You didn’t have to come.”

Anna smiles, and wraps her arms around his neck, leaning over him from behind. She kisses his cheek.

Anna Stone: “I wanted to come.”

Chuck smirks.

Chuck Matthews: “Thank you.”

Chuck had really warmed up to Anna in the past few weeks. She was sweet, and understanding, not running when she realized what had happened. Chuck could remember the day he had woken up in the hospital…

September 28, 2011
Chicago Central Hospital

Chuck’s ears are ringing as he slowly opens his eyes. He’s laying in bed, staring up at a blank white ceiling. His head feels like it’s going to explode, his brain throbbing inside his skull.

Chuck Matthews: “Ungh…”

He hears a startled gasp from the other side of the room, and an excited voice.

???: “Chuck!”

He tries to lift his head to see who had spoken, but after moving his neck slightly, decided it was too painful to attempt, and allowed his head to rest on the pillow.

Chuck Matthews: “Nurse? Thank fucking God. Think I can get some water?”

???: “Yes! Of course.”

Chuck lies his head back, trying to ignore the pulsing pain in his skull. He closes his eyes, blocking out the painful lights of the room. When he opens them, an attractive blonde woman stands over him, holding a glass of water.

Anna Stone: “Come on, Chuck. Let me help you.”

She cradles his head as she tips the glass up, emptying the water down Chuck’s throat. Chuck lies back on the bed again, feeling the cool water chill him from the inside out. Refreshing.

Chuck Matthews: “Thank you.”

Anna smiles.

Anna Stone: “Of course. How are you feeling?”

Chuck Matthews: “Headache to stop a train…other than that, I’m alright.”

Anna Stone: “You scared us.”

Chuck Matthews: “I’ve had worse pain. Part of the job, right?”

Anna stares at him for a moment. Without warning, she flings herself onto him, wrapping her arms around his neck. She looks up to kiss him, only for Chuck to push her away, looking confused.

Chuck Matthews: “What the fuck?”

Anna Stone: “What was that all about?”

Chuck Matthews: “I could ask you the same thing!”

Anna Stone: “You’ve been out for the past three days, sorry if I wanted to welcome you back!”

Chuck Matthews: “Well, cool, but….but…you can’t just be jumping on your patients like that! I have a girl back home, I can’t be doing this type of-“

Chuck pauses. Anna looks confused, and hurt.

Chuck Matthews: “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Anna Stone: “Patients?”

Chuck Matthews: “Aren’t you a doctor?”

Anna stares at Chuck for a moment.

Anna Stone: “You….have a girl back home?”

Chuck Matthews: “Yeah…yeah, her name’s Lauren. We’ve been together for a couple years.”

Anna stares at Chuck some more, the pain on her face becoming more and more apparent.

Anna Stone: “When was the last time you saw her?”

Chuck shrugs.

Chuck Matthews: “I don’t know, last week? Why are you asking?”

Anna slowly covers her mouth with her hand. She stares at Chuck, shaking her head.

Anna Stone: “Oh my God…”

This time, it was Chuck’s turn to be confused.

Chuck Matthews: “I don’t understand. What’s going on?”

Anna Stone: “You….I….we need a doctor.”


Amnesia. The doctor had run a few tests, and they had come to the conclusion that something had gone wrong in Chuck’s head. He was lost, confused…living his life as though he had just picked it up from where he had left off. The problem was, he thought he had left it off in 2005. His most recent memories were of him and Lauren Taylor, celebrating a big match in RWF…something that hadn’t occurred in several years. Anna was a wreck after that. She would go into fits of crying at times, blaming herself for “ruining Chuck.” Chuck felt bad. Sure, there wasn’t really anything he could do. He tried to act as she wanted him to. She had explained everything. He worked for IWF, and the two of them had been dating a few months. He had tried to warm up to her…but it was difficult. It was strange, having a complete stranger who knew things about you that you never thought you would share with anyone. Someone you didn’t know, who had a spare key to your house and your car, who knew some of your deepest secrets, and who expected you to spend time with her, to sleep with her, keep her company, listen to her problems. It was like having the world’s creepiest stalker, except you couldn’t call the police and have her arrested. Chuck looked at Anna.

Chuck Matthews: “I’m sorry.”

Anna shakes her head.

Anna Stone: “It’s not your fault.”

Chuck is about to tell her…but how could he? After everything she’d done, it just didn’t seem right. No…maybe it was better this way. Maybe she was better off not knowing.

The sound of the ring bell brings Chuck’s attention back to the screen. William Darlington raises his hands in victory, and looks down at Jackky Dane.

Chuck Matthews: “Showtime.”

Anna looks at him.

Anna Stone: “Huh?”

Chuck gets out of his seat, grabbing the IWF Tag Title on his way out. He pulls a skull cap over his head, covering the short hair that’s started growing back. He passes by a crewman on his way to the curtain.

Chuck Matthews: “Tell your monkeys to play my music.”

Crew Member: “…what?”

Chuck frowns, and turns towards him.

Chuck Matthews: “You have my music? Play it.”

The crew member fumbles with his walkie talkie and gives the order to the guys in the back. Chuck stares at the curtain for a moment. Anna runs up to him, stoping for a moment to catch her breath.

Anna Stone: “What are you doing?”

Chuck Matthews: “You coming?”

Anna Stone: “I…sure, yeah, I guess, but what-“

It always seemed that I was sorry for the things that I did,
But never did a thing about it 'til I let you in.
It's kinda funny about the time that I was falling apart.
You came and put me back together, now.

Chuck tears through the curtain, to the cheers of the crowd. He runs to the ends of the stage, smiling widely, and pointing at the fans. He turns towards Darlington, who stands in the ring, looking confused. Chuck turns to see Anna, looking equally lost as she emerges on the stage. Chuck makes a beeline for the ring, sliding into it, and waiting for Anna. Chuck holds the ropes open, allowing her to step inside. Chuck motions for a microphone, and accepts one from the worker at ringside.

Crowd: “AWOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Chuck Matthews: “AWOOOOOOOOOO!”

He smiles widely as the crowd cheers. He looks at Darlington.

Chuck Matthews: “William, right? Yeah…you know what’s funny? Last time I saw you, I was sitting behind that announcer’s table, right next to this woman right here.”

He pulls Anna close, holding her hand as she does a little twirl, smiling.

Chuck Matthews: “And you….you were getting your ass kicked week in and week out, and trying to make the Right Honourable Gentlemen look like they were still a threat.”

William grabs a microphone from the worker at ringside.

William Darlington: “Well…hold on a second here…I think the first question is, why are you here? This show is not for the IWF guys. It’s for the guys trying to get called up. I mean, if you’re just here to mock us, the hard working guys in the little leagues, I’ll have none of it.”

Chuck Matthews: “And what would you do about that? Make me go wee-wee in me britches? Force feed me a crumpet? Come on.”

William Darlington: “You failed to answer my question. What exactly are you doing here?”

Chuck Matthews: “If you must know, I have a bit of an announcement to make, and figured my fans here in Canada should be the ones to know. What are you complaining for? This is going to go directly onto IWF.com!”

Chuck looks at the cameraman following him, and winks, giving a thumbs up. Darlington looks from Chuck to the camera, then back.

Chuck Matthews: “Which means you have exactly ten seconds to get out before I remind everyone watching exactly why I’m the IWF Tag team champion, and you’re…”

Chuck looks around at the half-filled arena.

Chuck Matthews: “Well…here.”

Darlington glares at Chuck. The two stare down for a moment. Chuck sighs, and begins counting.

Chuck Matthews: “….Three…”

Darlington raises an eyebrow.

Chuck Matthews: “…two…”

Darlington laughs, and turns to the crowd, pointing at Chuck as though he’s insane.

Chuck Matthews: “One.”

At one, Chuck cracks the microphone over Darlington’s head, rocking him. He immediately grabs William’s head, and drives him into the mat with a Wolfbite. He looks around at the crowd, which cheers wildly. Chuck raises the microphone to his lips.

Chuck Matthews: “As I said. I have a very important announcement to make…I don’t really know how to start this off, but…”

Chuck is distracted by the sight of William slowly getting to his feet. Chuck shakes his head and starts to walk towards him, but thinks better of it. He looks around at the crowd, then to Anna, and smirks. He backs up into the corner, and crouches down, slowly punching the mat with his right fist. He punches the mat, faster and faster, until William stands. Darlington turns around and Chuck races forward with a roar, driving his shoulder into William’s gut, and taking him to the mat. He stands up, staring at him as the crowd cheers even louder. Chuck looks at Anna, who stares at him, stunned. Chuck picks up the mic from the floor.

Chuck Matthews: “I guess actions speak louder than words.”

He tosses the mic onto Darlington’s body, and raises his hands in his Original Sin pose, grinning as the crowd stares. Some cheer wildly, others boo, some unsure how to react. Chuck slides out of the ring, and makes his way up the ramp, backstage.

Anna Stone: “What the fuck was that?!”

Chuck continues walking, not even acknowledging her. She grabs his arm. He tuns around, grabbing her shoulders, and kissing her.

Chuck Matthews: “Hi, Anna!”

Anna pushes him away.

Anna Stone: “What was that?”

Chuck Matthews: “That was me beating up a boring Brit. Wasn’t that fun?”

Anna shakes her head.

Anna Stone: “No, I mean…the sneak attack, the spear, the pose, the…..when did you…how…Chuck?”

Chuck smiles.

Chuck Matthews: “Do you want to know?”

Anna Stone: “I just…do you remember me?”

Chuck laughs, and pulls Anna close.

Chuck Matthews: “Aww, I could never forget you.”

Anna Stone: “Come on. Enough with the jokes.”

Chuck sighs.

Chuck Matthews: “Well….much like Alison Williams’ orgasms…”

Anna Stone: “Ugh.”

Chuck Matthews: “I was faking it.”

Anna stares at him for a moment.

Anna Stone: “You’re joking.”

Chuck raises his arms in victory.

Chuck Matthews: “And here I thought I was crazy to take that movie role! HA!”

Anna Stone: “You’re not serious.”

Chuck looks at her.

Chuck Matthews: “If I imitated your ex-husband’s serious face, would you believe me?”

Anna Stone: “You know about his…You DO remember everything!”

Chuck Matthews: “Of course I do. I remember that Ashley is my daughter. I remember Corey, I remember my sister has kids, I remember that Chris owns a nightclub in Chicago. I remember a lot of cool stuff like that.”

Anna Stone: “But…why would you do that? I thought you were really hurt!”

Chuck smiles.

Chuck Matthews: “I even fooled you? Damn, I’m awesome.”

Anna shakes her head, looking lost.

Anna Stone: “This is serious! You mean you never lost your memory? That’s been you the whole time? This whole Brian Hunt thing, the forgetting everyone, the making me explain our relationship to you…you were lying the entire time?”

Chuck pauses, and strokes his chin for a minute.

Chuck Matthews: “Well…..”

He thinks about it for a second.

Chuck Matthews: “Actually, yeah. That pretty much hits the nail on the head. Good work, babe.”

Anna Stone: “But why would you do something like that? What made you think this would be a good idea?”

Chuck leans down, looking her in the eyes.

Chuck Matthews: “Simply put? Because I can.”

He kisses her cheek, smiling. She slaps him across the face.

Anna Stone: “I can’t believe you.”

Chuck frowns.

Chuck Matthews: “Believe it, darlin. It’s what I do best.”

Anna Stone: “I thought you were telling the truth!”

Chuck Matthews: “Ain’t life screwy?”

Anna Stone: “You’re unbelieveable.”

Chuck is about to make another snide remark, when he’s interrupted by a familiar voice.

???: “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”

Chuck turns to see Johnny Electric standing there, looking at Chuck and Anna.

Chuck Matthews: “Not at all. I was just telling Anna here all about my latest plan.”

Anna grumbles something under her breath.

Chuck Matthews: “Come on, don’t be such a spoilsport. If it’s any consolation, the only guy who knew about this was John here.”

Johnny raises his hand.

John Eastwick: “Guilty as charged.”

Anna looks from Johnny to Chuck. Finally, she seems to give up, because she throws her arms in the air, and breaks away from Chuck’s grasp.

Anna Stone: “I’m going back to the hotel room.”

Chuck Matthews: “….are you mad?”

Anna looks at him.

Anna Stone: “I….We’ll talk later.”

Chuck Matthews: “Keep the bed warm.”

Anna rolls her eyes, and walks off down the hall, leaving John and Chuck to talk.

Chuck Matthews: “She’s totally mad.”

John Eastwick: “And you wonder why you’re always single.”

Chuck Matthews: “Speaking of which, how’s the fiancée doing?”

John shrugs.

John Eastwick: “Pretty good, considering she’s about to marry me.”

Chuck Matthews: “She can’t handle so much power under one roof?”

John laughs.

John Eastwick: “Do you even feel slightly bad that you lied to her for the past couple months?”

Chuck shrugs.

Chuck Matthews: “I probably should…but it was so funny, I can’t. She’ll get over it. Not like I cheated on her or anything. But she’s got a big mouth. Couldn’t risk her spoiling my secret.”

John nods.

John Eastwick: “I’m still interested to know why you did it.”

Chuck slaps his old friend on the back.

Chuck Matthews: “All in good time, buddy. Anyway…what’s up?”

John Eastwick: “Well…I take it from your actions tonight that the old Chuck is back in action?”

Chuck stretches his arms and rolls his shoulders, smirking.

Chuck Matthews: “I’m feeling pretty good, fans are in a stunned silence, some overrated self-righteous jackass got laid out…yeah, sounds like my line of work.”

John smirks.

John Eastwick: “Good. Because I have a bit of a job to ask you.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chuck Matthews: “It turns out that job, Stygian, was to take you down a notch and prove to the world that, contrary to what you might think, you’re not entitled to a title shot of any kind. Not the IWF Championship, not the High Impact title, not the tag belts…not even the New Blood Championship.

See, you were right about one thing, and one thing only. Management…and by management, I mean our buddies Rick and Johnny, are looking out for the better interests of IWF. Of the IWF fans. And in the best interest of IWF…they want to see you get crushed into the mat.

I mean, think about it. A new guy, coming in with a demand to fight a champion in his first matches? Really? We may as well hire some random jackass out of the crowd and tell him he’s got a title bout at the PPV. He’ll do just as well, and if he won, he’d kill the ratings with equal efficiency.

Yes, Stygian. Management wants to see you work for your match. Sure, they gave you one of the tougher guys for a debut. They gave you a former IWF Champion last week…and both of them failed to get the job done. So Johnny went to the one guy he could count on to get the job done. He went to the guy who had a reputation as someone who posed the ultimate test for anyone, whether they were new to the company, or trying to break into the main event picture. He went to the guy who could outthink, outwit, and outlast any opponent they threw at him.

He went to Chuck Matthews.

Which I think leads me nicely into my next point.

I’m back, bitches!

You know, when they called me up back in December, asked me to film a movie, I thought they were nuts. But now, thinking about it…good God, am I a great actor. I mean, can you believe that performance? I didn’t think I had it in me.

Wow, there are just so many people I need to thank for helping me pull this off. So many people who helped feed the hype, who helped to play up this character…I mean, first, I guess I have to thank my good buddy Johnny, who played along beautifully. Thanks, pal, couldn’t have done it without you. Next, I need to give mad props to my buddy Jason Hawk. I don’t think he was ever in on it…but if he was, thanks. I have to thank Anna. I know she didn’t know what I was up to, but she was so adorably innocent and oblivious to what was really going on, I feel that she should be thanked. And then there’s….actually, that’s pretty much it. Those are the only three who may have had any inkling of what I was planning to do.

And to the rest of you?

You never fucking learn, do you?

Do we really need to go over this? Is this really surprising to any of you?

And yet, I bet half of you are still reeling, looking bug-eyed at the screen, punching it into your twitters, making your new facebook statuses….fuck, I think there’s already a group about this right now.

“That awkward moment when you buy a ‘Join the Pack’ T-Shirt, then Chuck Matthews says it was all an act”

OMG CHUCK WAS FAKING IT ALL ALONG!!!

Dumbass Mark likes this status.

@BrianHunt faked amnesia 2 get ppl 2 cheer 4 him?? #AreYouSeriousBro?

So…here’s the fun part. The question on everyone’s mind. Why?

Why Chuck? Why would you betray our trust….again? Why would you prove how retardedly gullible we are….again? Why would you get everyone on your side just to spit in their faces….again?

Well, besides the fact that I’ve made a very successful career out of doing just that.

Well, let’s review. We had Chuck return from a huge battle with Brandon Macdonald…and supposedly had lost eight years of his memory in the process. He invented a ring name, shaved his head, came up with a nickname, a catchy title, and learned some flashy high flying moves, and howled to the crowd.

And people screamed bloody murder.

“This new Chuck sucks!” you’d say. Fan mail telling me to go back to what I was doing, people on the street trying to refresh my memory, bring me back to my old ways. Everyone wondering when this whole Brian Hunt bullshit would be over and we could have the good old Chuck back.

What’s ironic about this entire thing? I proved something that I’ve been saying for a long God damned time. You people, as much as you hate to admit it, love to have me around. Sure, you’ll boo me out of arenas. You’ll tell me IWF is better off without me. But when that happy day finally comes, and Chuck Matthews is no more? Suddenly, everything goes to hell. Suddenly, people miss the old Chuck Matthews. People miss his unpredictable antics. People miss hearing his theme blasting through the arena. Miss watching some jackass get speared into next week.

Well…far be it from me to deprive you of what you so desperately crave. You want Chuck back, fine by me.

But of course, there’s always that other motive. Always that lesson I strive to teach. Always that idea in my head, that I somehow need to beat into your thick heads. What’s today’s lesson, class?

The sad fact that, even with all my history, even with all the times I’ve pulled this same stunt…even with my entire career of lying, manipulating, cheating, plotting…Fuck, even though I can sit here and TELL you that I lie, manipulate, cheat, and plot…

You dumb assholes still believe every word I say like I’m the fucking messiah.

But I don’t need to explain to you why this is. I’ve said it a million times before. I should hope that, by now, even my biggest doubters are shaking their heads thinking “Well….I should have seen that coming.”

Outsmarted. Another tally on a mile-long list. Christ, this is almost boring by now.

And so, we get to Stygian. Stygian who has come to IWF and has….

…..done nothing even remotely impressive. Seriously. Is this really happening right now?

I mean, don’t get me wrong. I understand that I haven’t exactly been at the top of my game lately. Loss in a tag match with VVR…which I believe was my 6th tag loss in the last 3 years. I won the tag belts, thanks to another master plan by yours truly. I won against Glacier last week…I mean, really, my most recent impressive match was a draw at Fallout. Nothing to brag about, really.

But to be fair…this is about on the same level as bragging about beating Tim Patrick. Tim, who, by the way, has never held a singles championship in his career, as far as I’ve seen. Oh, and then Stygian’s almighty victory against Dan Alexander! Oh, Dan Alexander! What a match! What a victory!

As if you’re really going to brag about winning by disqualification?

Really?

So…I suppose we should start with a friendly introduction here. Get the casualties out of the way.

My name is Chuck Matthews. I am, without a shadow of a doubt, the greatest tag team wrestler in the world today…and the Smartest Man in Professional Wrestling.

You go ahead, and you look back at my entire career, spanning across the past eight years. Go ahead and watch my matches, from UGW, from RWF, from NLWF, from IWF. What’s the common trend?

I’m a champion. I’m the best. Period. I’m the King Midas of wrestling. Everything I touch turns to gold. I mean, hell. Let’s take a look at my achievements, shall we?

Across four companies:

Twelve-time world champion.
Seventeen-time tag team champion.
Other titles, eight times.
Won the NLWF Triple Cage, twice.
Won the NLWF Briefcase once.
Third Grandslam Champion in RWF.
First Triple Crown Champion in NLWF. Fun fact? I pulled that off twice before anyone else did it once.
15-0 at the Company’s biggest events. I went 5-0 at RWF’s FightFest, 9-0 at NLWF’s WarGames, and am 1-0 at IWF’s From the Ashes. Yes. 14-0 across an eight year span. That is not a mistake.
NLWF Tag Team of the Year, 2009
NLWF Match of the Year, 2009 & 2010
RWF Rookie of the Year, 2004
RWF Heel of the Year, 2007 & 2008
RWF Wrestler of the Year, 2008
RWF Match of the Year, 2005, 2007, & 2008

I mean, fuck, the list just goes on and on. Need I remind you of all the stables I’ve led? All the legends I’ve beat? To this day, there is one man in wrestling that has never failed to beat me…

That man is Jason Hawk.

That man also happens to be a good friend of mine, as well as my tag partner.

Stygian, you are no Jason Hawk. You are no Brandon Macdonald. You are no Corey Casey. You are no Brenton Cyrus.

And you sure as hell are no Chuck Matthews.

Sure, you’ll sit there, having fun with your little comedy sketch, make your pop culture references, make your little jokes.

A laugh and a stupid smirk on your face ain’t gonna stop someone like me.

You’ll sit there, talking about how multi-faceted you are, how you’re solid at every style.

I think I’ve proven over the course of the past few weeks, that I can be a very efficient high-flyer when the need arises.We know I’m the greatest tag wrestler of all time. I’ve shown in the past that I’m one of the most technically sound competitors in the game today. Hell, I’ve even been known to throw down some heavy duty power moves from time to time. But even that’s not why I’m better than you. That’s not why I’m walking out of Battle Grounds with another win on my record.

It’s because I’m smarter than you. I have that intelligence that nobody can match. I’m the Master of the Plan. A bona fide in-ring general. A strategic mastermind.

You think you know my style. You think the past couple of weeks has shown you what I can do?

You haven’t even touched the tip of the iceberg.

This week, I intend to show you exactly what Chuck Matthews is capable of. I intend to show you exactly why people can’t shut up about me. Why I can go on a three week losing streak, and still be relevant. Why people, regardless of what I say, or who I fight, or what name I compete under, can’t stop talking. Can’t stop telling their friends, sitting in their basement, thinking.

“Man, remember how awesome Chuck Matthews was? When is he going to come back?”

People have long awaited that time, when I finally decided to drop this Brian Hunt garbage. When I stopped looking towards guys like Matt Rydell or Chad Mason to lead the company. When I stopped trying to use my talents to bring others to my level.

If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. I want to see a good main event? A good opener? A good match in general? It’s clear to me that there’s only one man worthy of turning that match into the match of the year.

That man is Chuck Matthews."