Englands Favorite Naun

Englands Favorite Naun

When I found out I was facing you I was worried.
Not for me, but for you.
For your safety.

Last time I faced yo punk hillbilly ass I knocked you out cold.
Nigga I gave you a bedtime and made you ma bitch.
This time I just might kill you.

They gon call me murda

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EVENT : BATTLEGROUNDS III
EVENT TYPE : WEEKLY SHOW
ROLEPLAY : NUMBER ONE
SCENES : ONE
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HIGHLIGHTS FROM : DEMOLITION DAY
MATCH : FATAL 4 WAY ELEMINATION

Anna-…we have one hell of an inaugural Pay Per View here tonight! The action starts right off the bat with a fatal fourway match for the Full Throttle Championship!

Chuck- William Darlington vs. James Shark vs. Lord Blackwing vs. ZIF will go to war here tonight! All for the honor of becoming the very first Full Throttle Champion!
::::
Megan O’Day- From Brooklyn, New York…weighing in at 205 pounds…James Shark!

Anna- I gotta say…James Shark has been a force to be reckoned with recently

Chuck- Let’s see if the big black man can back up his signature swagger
::::
James Shark manages to overpower William Darlington and James Shark tosses William Darlington to the ground.

Anna- James Shark overpowering William Darlington

Chuck- Well that answers my question…who is stronger: a British guy or a big black man?

Anna- Apparently the big black man

Lord Blackwing climbs to his feet and runs over to James Shark and tries to hit James Shark with a cross body block. James Shark simply catches Lord Blackwing in mid-air.

Anna- Uh oh…

Chuck- If the young British guy couldn’t take down the big black man…why did the OLD British guy think he would fare any better?!

James Shark tosses Lord Blackwing up and positions him in a powerslam position. James Shark then runs and slams Lord Blackwing down to the mat.

Chuck- Sharky better be careful! He might kill that rich old white man! And you know the jury will find him guilty!

Anna- You’re awful…
::::
Megan O’Day- Lord Blackwing has been disqualified

Lord Blackwing shrugs his shoulders

Lord Blackwing
Well worth it…finish him off William
::::
Anna- Here it comes! The Pride of England!

William Darlington lifts James Shark up on his shoulders. James Shark manages to use the momentum to his advantage and rolls down William Darlington’s back.

Anna- James Shark rolled through the Tigerbomb attempt!

Chuck- Watch your ass William! There is a big black guy behind you!

William Darlington slowly turns around. James Shark cocks back and delivers a crushing right hook to William Darlington’s jaw. The force of the blow buckles William Darlington’s knees and causes him to collapses to the map.

Anna- Diary of a Big Black Man! What a punch!

Chuck- What a dumb finisher name!

Anna- It doesn’t matter what it’s called…that looks like it almost killed William Darlington!

James Shark collapses on top of William Darlington and pins him

-1-

-2-

-3-

The ref calls for the bell

[Ding! Ding! Ding!]

Megan O’Day- Your winner and FIRST EVER IWF FULL THROTTLE CHAMPION…JAMES SHARK!

The ref grabs the Full Throttle Championship from the time keeper and hands it to James Shark, who clutches it tightly to his chest

Anna- He did it! James Shark did it!
::::

I turned off the television. Looked up at the camera. I was at home. Yes I was on the couch. The couch is ma spot. I slouched on the couch, had a spliff in ma mouth and the Full Throttle Championship on my shoulder, man i look like a mothafuckin G. I always looked G'd up. This championship added the extra swagger though.

::CONFIDENT:: | JAMES SHARK | ::CHAMPION::
Can someone tell me what kind of a retard books the matches for the IWF?. Please. I needa know. Why the fuck am I facin Darlington. Why?. I dont understand. Like, yo, I know I aint gon to school and I aint that smart but yo, Im smart enough to know yo punk white hillbilly ass should keep yo distance from me instead of facin me in a one on one match.

I honestly did not know why I was facing him. Another strange fact was Rawr in his corner.

::CONFIDENT:: | JAMES SHARK | ::CHAMPION::
And yo whats with this manager bullshit. Rawr in yo corner?, me and Zedic had a talk about lil miss Rawr. We knew she was girlfriends with Alison but yo we didn't know she copied her and was a slut like her. Like yo, we didn't know Rawr and Death Angel knew eachother, but from the looks of Demolition Day. That nasty Death Angel lost his virginity to Rawr, and now from the looks of it, you got it in too Mr.Darlington.

I shook my finger at the camera.

::CONFIDENT:: | JAMES SHARK | ::CHAMPION::
You naughty english bastard. Naughty Naughty Darlington. What would yo fat rich drunken father have to say about you havin pussy in yo corner?. I dont think the dudette would be happy ma dude. Yo father would still have to give yo ass the sex talk and all that good shit.

I chuckled.

::CONFIDENT:: | JAMES SHARK | ::CHAMPION::
I think you soft homie. I think you never kissed a bitch in yo life, I think you never tasted pussy in yo life, I think you never drank in yo life, I think you never got high in yo life, I think you never won a fair and square fight in yo life, fuck homie, I think you soft.

I looked up at the cieling then back at the camera and squinted.

::CONFIDENT:: | JAMES SHARK | ::CHAMPION::
Not only do I think.... I know dog. You know what else I know?, I know ZIF is more hardcore than you. You walk around with yo pinky rings and yo watches and yo fancy bow ties, nigga you need a learn to have some swagga. Carryin a hanker chief in yo pocket isnt swag. Combin yo greazy hair back to cover yo hair loss isnt swag. You aint swag. Yo family aint swag. None of yall got swag.

I checked myself out smiling

::CONFIDENT:: | JAMES SHARK | ::CHAMPION::
This is swagga. I got ma jordans out. Ma snapback, rolex watch, chain hang low, you name it, you see it. Hold up though, take a closer look homie. You know what gives the A+ on SwAg, well its the Full Throttle Championship. The Full Throttle Championship that suppose to be on yo shoulders. Too bad it aint huh?. You know why it aint?

I shrugged

::CONFIDENT:: | JAMES SHARK | ::CHAMPION::
It aint on yo shoulders cuz yo aint championship material. You soft and you a pussy. From the moment that bell rang ma strength and speed was too much for you. You can rewatch Demolition Day and rewatch our match all you want, you wont find a gameplan to put together. I was too much for you, and Ima be too much for you the second time around dog. Havin a bitch that got her ass kicked by ma girl in yo corner doesn't help you either homie.

I shook my head smiling

::CONFIDENT:: | JAMES SHARK | ::CHAMPION::
What also dont help you is that you needed help from an old fart to come anywhere but close to beat me. Yall did this 2 on 1 Bullshit on me. Yall were like the KKK, gangin up on the black dude. Yall were attackin me from left to right, yo grand daddy hit me with his cane, and you kicked me down, and I dont even got a black eye?, now thats pathetic AND soft, but yo hold up. Whats even more pathetic and soft is that, with all that help, all that advantage, you still couldn't take me out. I reversed yo ass and clipped you on the money maker. I knocked yo ass out homie. I sent you to bed, tucked you in, and made you ma bitch.

I nodded my head smiling this time

::CONFIDENT:: | JAMES SHARK | ::CHAMPION::
Did you hear that good sir?, your punk white hillbilly ass is ma bitch. You and your whole crew of Right Hand Pussies are ma bitch too. I ruined yo plans on becomin champion and I ruined yo crews plans of helpin you become champion. Man I told yall you didn't know who yall was dealin with. I told yall to not fuck round with a nigga like me. Did yall listen?, hell to the nahhhh yall didn't listen, and yall paid the price for that shit.

I stuck my finger up

::CONFIDENT:: | JAMES SHARK | ::CHAMPION::
Hold on though. Question. If I ruined about a years worth, or couple months worth of a plan. Spoiled the party. Fucked you up, and you couldn't even beat me, what makes you think you can beat me this time?, one on one?, ma natural black ass all to yo self?. Cuz nigga lemme tell you somethin, I think there gon be a pretty good chance Ima dummy you with ma fist dog.

I taunted him by slapping my fist onto my palm.

::CONFIDENT:: | JAMES SHARK | ::CHAMPION::
Cant wait to put yo ass to sleep. Cant wait. Im tellin you right now, you gon be the Least Confident Nigga of the Week, Im tellin you. Trust me, you will be. You gotta be. IWF is givin you the opportunity of a lifetime but I think you gon come up short. Story of yo life ahlie?. You gon lose to the same nigga twice dog. Oh and you gon lose with the whole world watchin, and you gon lose infront of two chicks at ringside. Damn. Times are rough homie.

I chuckled.

::CONFIDENT:: | JAMES SHARK | ::CHAMPION::
I got so much believe in maself, and so much confidence that you gon get knock the fuck out even worse then last time. You call yo self, Englands Favorite Son. Yo, Ima call you Englands Favorite Naun. Cause forget you and Rawr, I think you a fuckin virgin, and I think you a pussy. I think you a little naun, and if not a naun, then a little school girl. I see you as one of them dudes that hide behind their friends, and hide behind their group. I see you as one of them dudes that talk all that good shit but cant back it up, and I see you losin this Saturday and I see you laid out on the floor this Saturday, courtesy of yo nigga, James Shark.

I winked at the camera

::CONFIDENT:: | JAMES SHARK | ::CHAMPION::
I gotta say though , you accepting this match, you got a lot of balls. Unfortunetly for you white boy, you got more balls then brains. I exposed you at Demolition Day. The whole world saw what a weak little twig you are. This Saturday Ima expose you again. Finish off what I started. Knock yo ass out. This upcoming Battleground is entitled, Battlegrounds III: The New Era. Want to know what that era is nigga?, its the James Shark Era. You livin in ma prime, ma era, ma time. I cant wait. Cannot wait.

I pulled out a calender and circled Saturday, drawing a heart on it.

::CONFIDENT:: | JAMES SHARK | ::CHAMPION::
In the words of ma nigga, who was the baddest nigga on the planet before me, "Iron" Mike Tyson... , "This upcomin event, Im gon make you ma girlfriend". Trust me William, Im gon show the world your ma bitch, and you gon be a good bitch. Im gon fuckin hurt you dog. Better not run.