SURPRISE SURPRISE

• • an alison williams roleplay bitch.

■ THE WOMAN ■
■ THE MYTH ■
■ THE LEGEND ■
■The Monologue■
Surprised? You shouldn't be. I have a task that I will set out and conquer this week as I manage Bobby O'Day and Dan Alexander to the light of winning. After my last match a couple months ago, I think I prove why Alison Williams is bound for greatness and anyone who chooses to have her by her side will get a little taste of the greatness, themselves. My abilities of being the best women's wrestler in history have done me well but my other strength of being the best manager I can be. On other notes, I wouldn't consider myself a fan of Dan Alexander. But I have no choice and I'll support him whether I like it or not. Then last but not least. there's Bobby O'Day. Probably the most idiotic human being I have ever met and sustained a relationship with. Just for business, I'll make sure I'm standing by his side to perhaps build a feel of comfort although someone as cocky and arrogant as Bobby doesn't need it. Regardless, this is a job that I will handle like a big girl. I'm more than ready. Are you?


■The Story■

Growing up and getting to know Bobby O’Day sucked. If I talked to him these days, it would suck. Hell, when I die and go to heaven, holding a legit conversation with Bobby O’Day will absolutely fucking suck. He has loved me ever since I was 10 and believe it or not, as much as I said I hated him, deep down inside, I loved him. He was one of the most annoying people I had ever met in my entire life. But that didn’t stop me from hanging out with him. I’ll probably deny the thought of loving Bobby. But I will always know that I really do love him.

Hunter Elementary School
Sacramento, California
May 15, 1999


The recess bell had just rung and I ran off to go to the playground to sit under the slide with my favorite boy in the world. I ran over to my backpack and opened it up before reaching my hand in and pulling out a Listerine Strip. I knew today was the day I was going to kiss my handsome hunk and I could not wait any longer. I put the packet back into my backpack and ran over to the window, climbing on my tippy toes to see if he was there. I looked at all the children running along the playground. I saw Megan O’Day playing Kickball with her friends. I looked at the slide to see if he were sitting under it and was disappointed to see he wasn’t. Where could he be? I then ran out the classroom door and started to walk on the playground, walking around. I looked at Megan again as she ran back in line after her turn in Kickball. I walked over to her and she looked at me, smiling.


Megan O’Day
Hi Kassie! Do you want to play kickball with us?


Kassie Thompson
No, I am waiting for someone.


Megan O’Day
Oh who are you waiting for?



Kassie Thompson
My prince charming.


Megan looked confused and shrug her shoulders.


Megan O’Day
Uhh Ok. Well I’ll see you later!


A younger girl called Megan’s name and she looked, before running off to her. I looked around the playground to see if I would see him anywhere, but I couldn’t. I sighed and walked over to the slide anyways, with my head down. I was upset that I didn’t know where he was and our kiss wouldn’t be so magical anymore. I sat under the slide and rested my head on the back of it, listening to the kids above me climbing up the stairs and sliding down the side. Before I knew it, I was slowly closing my eyes before I felt strands of my hair flying in the sky. Thinking it was the wind, I kept my eyes close but laid my hair back down on my head. A couple seconds later my hair flew up again and all of a sudden I turned around and he sat there, smiling at me with his beautiful smile. He reached over to me and hugged me in his arms. He felt so warm and welcoming and I loved him so much. I know being 10 is not really that big when it comes to relationships or even loving someone but I was convinced that him and I were going to get married, have children, and grow old together. He stopped hugging me before leaning his back on the slide and playing with his hands, probably thinking about our soon to be big moment.


Kassie Thompson
So how should we kiss?


Jonny Miller
Uhh I dunno.


Oh Jonny Miller. He was so hot to be 10. Well who the hell did you expect? Bobby O’Day? Oh please! I’d spend my time avoiding Bobby, not trying to kiss him. Thank God I didn’t see him at school that day because our moment would have been ruined and knowing Bobby he would have been trying to start a fight with Jonny. But I wasn’t worried about it. Megan usually was the peace maker when it came to arguments between her brother and other people. I grabbed Jonny’s hand, playing with his fingers as I felt him staring at me.


Jonny Miller
You have a pretty cheek.


I looked up at Jonny and studied his cheek also.


Kassie Thompson
Your cheek is pretty to.


Jonny smiled, his perfect white little teeth shining like diamonds. Our time together is usually quiet but that’s just how we liked each other. Maybe we didn’t talk a lot to each other but to us, our beauty did all the talking. Jonny said I was the most ‘’ beautifulist girl I’ve ever seen “ and that no girl could compare. While growing up and realizing beautifulist wasn’t a word, it still warmed my heart like nothing else.


Jonny Miller
I’m going to kiss you now.


Kassie Thompson
OK, should you use your tongue?


Jonny Miller
Well on the computer, I saw people use their tongue. So I think I’ll use my tongue.


Kassie Thompson
Let’s do this.


Jonny puckered his lips too soon and he was slowly bringing his head towards me, with his eyes closed. I closed my eyes to and started to lean into Jonny, our lips were just inches apart.


“ GET OFF MY GIRLFRIEND, BUTTHEAD! “


My eyes shot open as I looked at the two hands wrap around Jonny’s neck and pull him from under the slide. The hands then let Jonny go as he fell to the ground and looked up. I immediately went into rage and charged from under the slide, running over to where he was standing.


Kassie Thompson
Bobby! Why did you do that! You ruined our date!


Bobby turned and looked at me, he took a deep breath before exhaling and making his mushy eyes towards me.


Bobby O’Day
Kassie.. I love you.


Bobby walked over towards me and grabbed my hand but I slapped his hand down and crossed my arms.


Kassie Thompson
Ga-ross. Leave me alone or I’m going to tell Ms.Whitman!


Bobby O’Day
I will never leave you Kassie! One day, you will realize that I am the one for you. I don’t know when, but you will be with me!


Bobby turned away from me and stepped on Jonny’s foot as he screamed out in pain.


Bobby O’Day
Don’t talk to her again, butthead!


Megan O’Day
Bobby stop it because when we get home I’m going to tell Daddy that you are the one who took his magazine!

Bobby turned around and looked at Megan who was standing next to me at this point, pouting out her lips.

Bobby O’Day
What magazine?


Megan O’Day
The one with girls with no underpants on!

Bobby gasped and stomped his foot which made me jump.


Bobby O’Day
If you do that, I will punch you!


While Bobby and Megan argued, I sneaked over to Jonny who was rubbing his foot and helped him off the ground. We looked at each other before running off to the classroom as the bell rung and left the two bickering brother and sister. As Jonny and I got into the classroom and got ready to do our class work, Jason Hawk jumped in front of Jonny and they did their secret handshake.


Jason Hawk
Oh Hai, Jonny! ..And Kassie.


I can admit I wasn’t a fan of Jason when I was younger. He always annoyed me and had this weird obsession with touching my hair.


Kassie Thompson
Hi Jason.


Jonny Miller
Hey man!


Jason Hawk
Jonny, do you want to throw erasers at Ms.Whitman’s butt?!


Jonny Miller
Yeah!

Jason Hawk
OK, let’s go!


Before I knew it, Jonny ran off with Jason and I was all alone. I can admit, when I was in elementary popularity was the least on kids mind but I didn’t really have any friends. I spent all of my time with Jonny and avoiding Bobby. Megan and I talked sometimes but we only knew each other because of Bobby. I also met Jonny because Bobby was picking on him one day and I made him stop. Jason and Bobby hung out sometimes but it ended up with Bobby chasing Jason around the playground because Jason smacked him upside the head with a ball and ran off. If I think about it.. The only reason I knew most of the people I knew was because of Bobby O’Day. And the more I knew, the more I started to think about Bobby. I turned around and looked at Megan and Bobby walk into the classroom, not really arguing anymore but just calling each other names.


Megan O’Day
Ugly.


Bobby O’Day
Yo momma!


Megan O’Day
She’s you mom to!


Bobby O’Day
Well she said I was the most handsome boy ever!


Megan O’Day
She was lying!


Bobby O’Day
Butthead!


Megan O’Day
Why do you keep saying that!


Bobby O’Day
I saw it on T.V. last week.


Megan O’Day
What show?


Bobby O’Day
It was called, What Do You Get When You Put Butt and Head Together? Megan O’Day!


Megan O’Day
I HATE YOU!


Megan stormed off to her desk and sat down. Bobby pointed and leaned is head back, laughing at Megan obnoxiously. I sighed and looked around at all the kids in the class. They were talking to each other, laughing, and most importantly, they all seemed to have friends. Why couldn’t I have friends?


Ms.Whitman
OK, class let’s all get in our seats.


Everyone followed Ms.Whitman’s directions, except for Jonny and Jason who were hiding underneath her desk. She stood by the chalkboard, holding a piece of chalk in her hand. When everyone was seated, Ms.Whitman turned around and began writing.


Jonny Miller
Let’s do it!


Jason and Jonny slowly got from underneath Ms.Whitman’s desk and Jason was the first to throw an eraser which hit Ms.Whitman’s huge ass and bounced off of it, landing on the floor. Jason ducked down underneath Ms.Whitman’s desk with Jonny and the teacher turned around, enraged.

Ms.Whitman
WHO DID THAT?! YOU WILL IMMEDIATELY REPORT TO THE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE, RIGHT NOW!


She threw the chalk onto the ground and looked around the classroom, realizing Jason and Jonny weren’t in their seats.


Ms.Whitman
WHERE IS MR.HAWK AND MR.MILLER?!


Bobby O’Day then received an evil grin as he pointed past Ms.Whitman and she looked at where his finger was pointing. At her desk. She then nodded her head at Bobby and bent over looking down at Jonny. Jonny turned and saw that Jason was no where to be found.


Jonny Miller
WHERE DID JASON GO?!?!


I turned around to see Jason Hawk sitting in his seat, pretending to be reading a book until I heard him whisper.


Jason Hawk
Beat that.


Ms.Whitman grabbed Jonny’s hand and pulled him from under the desk. She then pointed at the door, indicating that Jonny needed to go to the principal’s office. Jonny dropped his head and walked off. I looked at Bobby who was looking at me back.


Ms.Whitman
I expect you all to be on your best behavior, when I come back.


Ms.Whitman then walked off with Jonny to escort him to the principal’s office.


Bobby O’Day
Looks like someone owes me a play date.


I walked over to Bobby’s desk and leaned down on it.


Kassie Thompson
You’re on.


Bobby’s mouth dropped and winked at him before walking off to my seat and sitting back down. …What the fuck did I just do?


Hunter Junior High School
Sacramento, California
October 8, 2002


After I totally no-showed Bobby’s play date, he became obsessed with me worse than ever. But it was all good. In middle school, I was already known for being a mean bitch. When puberty hit me hard, the boys did to. I guess my peak came when I went out with Jake Rayne. He was the best soccer player on the team. He had brown hair, brown eyes, and he was 5 feet 10 inches. The tallest 8th grader in the whole school. Last week I rocked his world and his bed and before I knew it, everyone loved to talk to me. Jake was the guy every girl wanted in middle school and some girls were jealous of the fact that I had him. Luckily, Bobby O’Day was too low on the pole to be associated with me but that didn’t stop him from trying to sweep me off my feet. Your probably wondering, what happen to Jonny Miller? Oh he goes to the same school as me. It’s just that now, he’s a total LOSER. All he does is hang out with the nerds and I feel ashamed to say that I liked him. Good thing going out with someone at 10 doesn’t count cause if it did, I would be screwed. I moved onto to bigger and better things and I knew nothing and no one was better than me. I was standing at my locker until Joseph Re came up next to me. Everyone called him Joey for short and I felt bad for the kid. He had ADD and a certain level of Autism, but he was still annoying as fuck and he had the biggest crush on me.


Joey Re
HI KASSIE!


I rolled my eyes at Joey as I got my backpack out of my locker, getting ready to go home.

Kassie Thompson
I don’t know how many pills you were supposed to take today. But please go overdose.


Joey looked at me and for the first time I noticed he had chin fuzz. I loved chin fuzz! I also loved how Joey pretended to be dumb when he really wasn’t at all. Knowing Joey, he didn’t have ADD or even Autism. It was just something his doctor told his parents to get them the fuck out of his life. And for all I knew, Joey probably took the pills to get high. Can you get high off of ADD pills? I have no idea. His brown, stringy hair was matted down to his forehead, from sweating. I saw him playing Basketball at Gym which was probably his last bell before going home.


Joey Re
Je ne compender pas.


Kassie Thompson
It is actually “ Je ne comprends pas. “ But nice try for a guy with ADD.


Joey Re
You know I really don’t have that shit right?


Kassie Thompson
Of course I know. And you definitely don’t have Autism, it’s just an act, huh?


Joey Re
Yes it is, sweet cheeks.



Kassie Thompson
But why go through all that when you actually don’t have it?


Joey Re
I like the attention.


I rolled my eyes at Joey and put my backpack straps around my shoulders.


Kassie Thompson
Lovely.


Joey smirked as he started to get his stuff for home. I noticed the dimple in his cheek and I couldn’t believe I was actually starting to think this kid was cute. Although a lot of chicks did. To play like he was a dumb fuck, he was a certified mack daddy. Joey was 14 and he had fucked over 15 girls.

Kassie Thompson
How old were you when you lost-


Joey Re
9.


My mouth dropped at the fact he answered my question before I even got it all out. Knowing he was 9 and lost his virginity wasn’t so shocking. He seemed like he did lose it young. Made me look bad though considering I was only 13 when I lost mines. Oh I remember that day like any other. His name was Noah. And boy was it terrible because he didn’t know what the fuck he was doing. Joey put his backpack on one shoulder, trying to look cool as he leaned his hand against his locker.


Joey Re
It’s time for me to question you.


Kassie Thompson
Spit.


Joey Re
I bet that’s what you do, isn’t it?


Kassie Thompson
What?


Joey Re
Uhh nevermind. Why the hell do you like Jake Rayne? I saw you guys yesterday at the park...


Kassie Thompson
He’s the most popular guy. I’m the most popular girl. It’s just for stats you know?


Joey Re
Yeah but I mean.. I really like you and I wouldn’t just fuck you for stats.


Kassie Thompson
Yes you would Joey.


Joey Re
Yeah probably.. but my real question is why the fuck is Bobby O’Gay is obsessed with you?


Kassie Thompson
I don’t know. But he’s liked me ever since we were 10. You would think that since he’s the greatest guy on the wrestling team, he would get any girl he wants. But the only girl he wants is me and I am soo not up for it.


Joey Re
I know that I’m up for his fine ass sister, Megan.. Mhm…


Kassie Thompson
Megan O’Day? Fine ass? As if.


[color:c454=cyanJoey Re
Am I hearing the voice of jealousy?


Kassie Thompson
No, you’re hearing the voice of ‘’ what the fuck. “


Joey Re
She is hot. ..Maybe even hotter than you. BUT, you’re an easy ride on the fuckhercoaster, so I’d stick with you.


“ WELL YOU BET NOT BUTTHEAD! “


Joey didn’t even bother looking up at Bobby. He hated him with a passion and I honestly didn’t blame him. Bobby stood next to me, smiling his obnoxious smile with his arms crossed.



Bobby O’Day
I’ve been sticking with her since 4th grade butthead. You’re never getting a piece of her.


Joey Re
And what makes you think you’ll be getting any?


Bobby O’Day
Because she loves me, butthead.


Kassie Thompson
Let’s not tell lies here.


Bobby O’Day
Well you’ve been lying for far too long because I know you love me.


I was sick of Bobby and it was time to go home. So I did the next best thing.


Kassie Thompson
Your right Bobby. I love you. Goodbye.


Joey and [color=blue]Bobby
WHAT?!


I turned around and walked away to go to the bus. …..What the fuck did I just do?


Los Angeles High School
Los Angeles, Californa
March 4, 2006


Even though I was born in LA, I moved to Sacramento at a young age which is why I went to elementary and middle school there. But when it was time for high school, I already knew what I wanted to do in my life and I had to be in the perfect place to do it. I wanted to become.. a lawyer. Now I know your thinking, “ Alison Williams A LAWYER?! “ But like, I had the potential to lay it down in court. I mean come on, if I can lay It down in the bedroom, you already know I can lay it down in the courthouse, it’s nothing different except I don’t have to be naked and I can call people out when they lie. I mean it’s just like sex. Except, I do get naked and I tell a guy if he isn’t fucking me right. It was the perfect job for me! Until I got knocked up at 17.. When I became pregnant, no one was there for me.. except Bobby. He supported me through everything. Even the adoption. I guess that’s when my love for him took off like a rocket. Bobby and I started to date my senior year of high school and by then, we were both accepted into Stanford University. I received a full ride to college because of my grades.. Yes I use to be quite intelligent but it’s just when Chuck fucked me he literally fucked my brains out. Blame him for it. Bobby received a scholarship from wrestling to go to Stanford also. But that’s pretty obvious, right? If you didn’t know, the man is an absolutely amazing wrestler but when it comes to the brains.. He has none. And Chuck didn’t even fuck him so he was pretty much born into being dumb.


Kassie Thompson
BOBBY, YOU ARE MESSING UP MY NEW SHIRT!


I pushed Bobby off of me after having me pinned against the wall, kissing my neck and trying to get a feel under my shirt. Oh you didn’t know Bobby was sexual? Of fucking course he is! In fact, that’s one of the main things people don’t know about him. He maybe slow, but he’s not slow when it comes to fucking. He’s just very quiet about his sexuality. Which is weird for a guy like him unlike me who was very loud and honest about her sex life. The only reason he was probably doing it was because the hallways were literally empty. Everyone was in class and I was already late for school after I missed my bus that morning.


Bobby O’Day
Why are you being like that, butthead?!


Kassie Thompson
Uhh news flash. I am your GIRLFRIEND, not a BUTTHEAD. And another news flash, presented by Kassie Thompson, I have on a new shirt that was 50 freakin’ dollars. Why wouldn’t I be like that?


Bobby O’Day
Fine, girlfriend. What do you want to do today?


Kassie Thompson
First I want to get this day started by going to class if you don’t mind. We both need to head to class. There’s only a couple months till school is out and during the summer we’ll be getting ready for college. So we really need to spend our time wisely.

Bobby O’Day
I hate when you sound smart.


Kassie Thompson
And I hate when you don’t use this.


I knocked on Bobby’s head as if it were a door. He smiled at me before kissing me on my lips this time. I opened my eyes and rolled them, then pushed him off of me again.


Kassie Thompson
LIP GLOSS!


Bobby than softly gave me a headbutt and then grabbed my arm.


Bobby O’Day
Let’s go to class so that we can spend our time wisely.


Kassie Thompson
..That’s what I said, like 2 minutes ago.


Bobby O’Day
SHHHH!!!


Bobby put his large sausage of a finger on my lip as I looked down at it, and back at him again. He looked as if he were listening to something and he turned to look down the hallway before taking his finger off of me.


Kassie Thompson
What is wrong with-


Bobby O’Day
I SAID SHHHHHH!! LISTEN BUTT-


I gave Bobby the look before he finished the sentence.


Bobby O’Day
Friend. But really baby, listen!


I listened closely and looked around the hallway with Bobby and didn’t hear anything. I don’t know why Bobby always pulled the “ SHHH, you hear that? “ thing with me because I never ever heard it and usually there was never ever anything really there. I rolled my eyes at Bobby and started to walk off to class before Bobby grabbed my arm and pulled me back.


Bobby O’Day
I know that voice anywhere!


Kassie Thompson
What voice?


Bobby O’Day
LISTEN!!!


I listened more closely this time and I actually did hear something. The voices started to get louder before the two people circled around the hallway, right in front of Bobby and I.


Bobby O’Day
Well what do we have here, buttheads?!


Travis Marrero
Stay out of this, fag.


Bobby O’Day
Fag? … FAG?! Look at who I’m dating, butthead! That does not make me a fag!


Travis obnoxiously looked over at me, making a face as if he was about to puke.


Travis Marrero
If Megan ever looked like that, I’d die and that would make me indeed, a fag.


It wasn’t that I didn’t like Travis. In fact, if he ever asked me out I’d probably dump Bobby for him but for some reason, he didn’t like me at all. Even though our school obviously didn’t have a hockey team, Travis played elsewhere. He was an amazing hockey player and everyone knew he would get into the NHL without a problem. He had already received 3 scholarships off of it and he was actually a very smart guy. He had success written all over him and everyone at school loved to hang out with him. Especially his girlfriend, Megan O’Day. Before the Paden guy, the Brenton Cyrus, the Corey Casey, there was the Travis Marrero. Megan’s first love. All she did was talk about Travis and he made her walk around with a glow all over. Sometimes I look at her and think you went from him to that but hey, it’s her love interest.


Bobby O’Day
Call me a fag again and I’ll fuck your Mom.


Travis Marrero
That’s gross but you can have the bitch.


Bobby O’Day
HA! Butthead!


“ Will you guys cut it out? “


All three of us turned to look at Megan walking down the hallway with books in her arms. She probably just got out of class to go be the assistant teacher for Ms.Caitie, who was the choir teacher. Megan was a teacher’s pet but she denied it every chance she got. Megan walked up to Travis and stepped up on her tippy toes, kissing his cheek. He smiled widely, and looked down at his future Mrs.


Travis Marrero
Hey cupcake.


Megan O’Day
Heyy.


I could feel Megan look at me but I paid no attention to her. I’d much rather look at the janitor’s ass walk by as he pushed along his cart full of cleaning supplies, down the hallway. At this point in time, Megan didn’t like me because I was dating her brother and she had created this magical plan of me breaking Bobby’s heart and I didn’t like her because I thought she was entirely fake. Fake hair, fake boobs, fake personality. I felt like the whole nice girl thing was an entire act and I was going to call her out on it sooner than later.

Kassie Thompson
Perfect moment for the cutest couple ever.


Megan O’Day
I really don’t need your sarcasm, Thompson.


Megan glared at me as I smirked, still NOT looking in her direction. If she wanted to act like a bitch, or as you might think, a sweet bitch, then I was going to return the favor of being a bitch myself. It was the job I was greatest at.


Bobby O’Day
Buttheads, why don’t you leave me and my girlfriend alone? You guys aren’t cool enough to hang out with us.


Travis Marrero
Really bro? Not cool enough? You shouldn’t be allowed to have children and may the lord have mercy on their souls if you do somehow impregnate this thing standing over here.. But it’s not like she’s been pregnant before am I right?


Megan O’Day
Ok babe, chill.


Travis Marrero
Oh no no.. I am chill. It’s just that I don’t like these unintelligent attention whores. I mean this is the perfect couple if you think about it Megan. I don’t understand how you can be so worried about Bobby getting hurt when he is clearly taking himself through pain everyday being with this… slut that has the yeast infection to be called a woman.


Kassie Thompson
That didn’t stop you from putting your dick in me 3 months ago did it?


Megan O’Day
What?!


Bobby O’Day
What?!


Travis Marrero
I have no idea what you’re talking about.


Kassie Thompson
Of course you have an idea what I’m talking about but that’s another story.


Yeah I fucked Travis, I cheated on Bobby with him and Travis cheated on Megan with me. They were going to find out sooner than later anyways. I mean yeah, of course I loved Bobby but cheating on him was a piece of cake. He was too much of an idiot to notice that I wouldn’t return his calls during certain times. Wouldn’t want to have sex with him simply because I had just fucked his opponent from his wrestling tournament the day before. I knew Travis didn’t like me one bit. But when Megan was away on vacation with her family, he needed someone to fuck. So he called me up. His dick was…decent to say the least in size but the sex? He was better off staying a virgin.


Megan O’Day
No. This is a story right now. Did you have sex with her, Travis?!


Kassie Thompson
Oh look at the time. Bobby and I have better things to do. Hey Bobby, why don’t we forget about school and go back to your house?


Bobby O’Day
Lead the way, butthea-


I once again gave Bobby the look and he cleared his throat.


Bobby O’Day
Beautiful girl.


Bobby then slapped my ass as I started to walk past Travis who looked worried and Megan who look frustrated. Bobby probably forgot about the whole me cheating on him thing but I knew Megan would never let go and would call Bobby later, crying her contacts out. But it didn’t matter to me. I’m Alison fucking Williams. The best in the game.