Prep for weeks to come: behind the scenes

IWF Insiders caught up with Sho' No Mercy's crazy cousin Lamar, who was watching over Sho'No's house in the Hollywood Hills this week. The IWF has noticed SNM's cousin being on the scene lately, and thought that he would be an interesting person to get an interview from. The interview was entertaining to say the least.

As the interview started, he IWF insider looked around Sho'No Mercy's house. It looked like Lamar was actually keeping it pretty clean. Lamar seemed to look a little bit on edge upon sitting down on the living room couch. Lamar smoking a Newport, had ashed on himself accidently, by not checking the length of the cherry.

IWF INSIDER: Lamar, first let's go in to your relationship with your cousin SNM? Have you two always been close?

Lamar looks around in a somewhat paranoid state. Then he looks back at the IWF insider conducting the interview.

LAMAR: Yeah, we've been close! Ya' see, Shon's the family member that you know will always be there for you. At least, that's if you're family! When my cousin first came out here, shit, we rolled together for a while. Sho' always looked out for me, because I was the young one.

IWF INSIDER: Are you aware that due to some of the antics you and your cousin Sho' have recently gotten' into, the critics of the IWF have dawned you the name... 'SNM's Crazy Cousin'?

LAMAR: Ahah... word?

Lamar looks a little bit confused by this.

LAMAR: Crazy? I might be a lil' wired sometimes, but crazy? I mean that's a 'crazy' type word to use to discribe someone. I mean, recently... yeah, Shon' an' I got locked up. Yeah, an' my cousin crash landed his fist in a hefers face? We do tend to get into a lil' bit more trouble when we're both in the same place at the same time, but, it's whatever. I mean I liked to torture animals as a kid, so I might be crazy?

Lamar's mood then seems to change. He seems to look like he has gone from the previous state of calm, to a more paranoid and defensive state. He squits his eyes staring at the IWF Insider reporter. The IWF Insider then fires another question Lamar's way.

IWF INSIDER: Do you think your cousin has what it takes to beat James Shark?

Lamar begins to speak almost immediatly after the question is asked.

LAMAR: Does Shon' got what it takes? Shon' has what it takes, an' let me tell you another thing. James Shark is a crackhead, an' this is the REAL TALK, NO BULLSHIT! A man that young, with boney cheeks, older flush skin lookin, an bug eyes? Let's face the reality of everything. James Shark... NIGGA YOU LOOK AT LEAST 45!! James Shark... NIGGA THE ONLY 12 INCH YOU GOT IS YA' WAIST LINE!! James Shark... YOU SMOKIN' DAT GLASS DICK???

Lamar mean mugs the camera, and then stares even harder at the IWF Insider. The IWF Insider almost looks frightened at this point. Lamar then speaks without being questioned.

LAMAR: Oh yea, I didn't tell you that dat' hoe said she's pressin' charged on Shon'? Can you beleive that shit? My cousin Shon' is gonna' go down like all the greats. Bobby Brown, Ike Turner... OJ Simpson!!

Lamar thinks for a short time, looking confused as ever.

LAMAR: Yo, why are dey' all black?

The IWF Insider shrugs.

LAMAR: You weren't suppose to answer!!

The IWF Insider reporter swallows his breath, and then calmly nods.

LAMAR: What we need is a witness for when we go to court. What we need is... you!

The IWF Insider looks around as Lamar points at him. Looking around as if he expects to see somebody else in the room. He then with a nervous expression begins to talk, almost stumbling upon his words.

IWF INSIDER: Me, but what can I do? A witness... but you're a witness??

LAMAR: Motha' fucka... I need a white witness. They ain't gonna' beleive two black people living in the Hollywood Hills! They're probably already questionin' how Sho' got this nice ass house. Then they probably see the bitches that Shon' brings through here... asses so phat!!! BANG!! Lookin' like two holiday hams!!

LAMAR: So, what do ya' say?

IWF INSIDER: Well- I... ummm... uhh- don't... I can--

LAMAR: DIS' NIGGAS SCARED!!

Lamar looks over at the cameraman, pointing to the IWF Insider.

LAMAR: Shon' was right about you IWF fucks... Everyone from the interviewers to Dick Lickins or Shit Mittens... whatever da' head hancho is in the IWF? Was there anything else you wanted to ask me?

The IWF Insider looks at Lamar and then speaks.

IWF INSIDER: Any words of advice that you would give to your cousin before the main event at Spring Fling?

LAMAR: Hell yeah... Punch dat' nigga in the nuts...

Lamar rethinks his statement.

LAMAR: No wait, don't punch that nigga in the nuts... That's type suspect!! He's the homo, not you!! Break his fuckin' face like you did that fat bitch!! Over an' out!

-------AND NOW A WORD FROM OUR SPONSERS
Don't forget to get you're new copy of James Sharks debut album right here!!!!

IMPOSTER JAMES SHARK: Yeah, maaaa duuuuuuuuduuuuuuuuu, Sho' No wanna' do interviews on radio stations, Sharky gunna do interviews on radio stations! Sho' No wanna' go over the top with extreme antics... Sharky wants to do that too! In fact, I wanna' rap, just like Sho' No!!! That's real shit maaaaa duuuuuuuduuuuuuu!!! The real grimey hood shit, about how Corey Casey used to ass rape in the Upper Limit limo!!! How I went to private school.

Three fat crossdressers step out from behind the curtain with t shirts that say Sharkys Angels on them.

SHARKY'S ANGELS: That's right... Sharky can rap like Sho' No too yay!

AIRPLANE SEX SCENE::WARNING EXPLICIT MATERIAL
========

SNM steps into the airplane bathroom. The bathroom is very small and cramped, but Emily has wasted no time, her shirt already taken off, and her bra just dangling over one shoulder. She walks over to SNM and grabs his jeans and squeezes.

"Are you ready for this"

Sho' No reaches in his pocket, and pulls out a Magnum. Emily reaches her hands down his pants, and begins to stroke him. SNM rips open the condom, and uses his other hands to unbutton Emily's jeans. He rubs her thigh gently for a moment, and then slowly pulls her thong back to the side.

"Are you ready...?"

SNM drops his pants.

"Oh my..."

SNM bends over, and rolls the condom onto his manhood. He then licks his fingers, and then rubs Emily's clit. He then slowly sticks his manhood into as she lets out a long hard moan. Sho'No begins to thrust with a slow rhythem, SNM reaches his hand up to Emily's jet black hair, and then pulls it tight as he begins to thrust a little deeper. Emily moans in extasy and pleasure. He then uses his free hand to slap her left ass cheek. After doing this he reaches in front of her, and begins to rub her nipple.

SNM then pulls out, an leans back against the wall. Emily leans forward on him, as she slides SNM back inside her. She begins to rock in a forward motion. She moans loudly, as she starts to ride on SNM even harder. She begins to squeeze her brests looking at Sho'No. He grabs her hips, and begins to slide her down a few more times. The sound of their skin smacking is heard...

"Oh ... ohhhhh!! I'm comin'.... fucck!!"

SNM lifts her, and then drives himself deep inside her a few more times to a rhytematic motion. Sliding deep in and rocking upward upon pulling out. He continues this as Emily breathes heavy. SNM slows for a moment, giving her a second to regain her breath and momentum. She then begins to rock foward more. Her eyes roll back as she reaches forward and hugs SNM digging her nails into his back. Sho' No grips her ass, and begins to pick up the pace. He slaps Emilys ass a couple times, and rolls back and forth and from side to side. He lets out a small grown, and thrusts forward a few more times. He looks at Emily, and then smirks. She smirks back and goes to kiss him. SNM hoists her up off of him and looks at her.

"Get Off Me!!"

SNM smirks with an assholish look across his face. He then lifts his pants back up to his waist and does his belt up as he exits the airplane bathroom. Emily looks at him with a what the fuck face.