Men Go To Omegle

You: hi

Stranger: hi

You: i am men

You: you are men or lady?

Stranger: lady

You: hello lady

Stranger: ^^

You: lady have name?

Stranger: of course i am Dana

You: oh hello Dana, are you in relation to bald Dana of Mixed Martial Arts Ogranization?

Stranger: haha no~~ you are so fun

You: yes some say I am quite the fun one

You: one time i host party in my grandparent house, i bring all to bedroom and we jump on the floor, and make hunting of eggs

You: everyone say i must invite once more because is fun

Stranger: oh~

Stranger: cool

You: ya you like?

Stranger: yeah!

You: NICE

You: i like too

You: that is why i throw this party

You: if i did not like this i would not throw it

Stranger: i want to go there

You: oh my!

You: are you being truthful?

Stranger: umm little bit??

You: hey come on, please be reasonable, it is yes or no question

You: you want come or no

Stranger: but i live so far ㅜㅜ

You:
HEY wait just one minute, just one minute my friend name Dana, I did not
even inform you of my whereabouts, so how can you make such an
assumption that you live far away!?

You: oh my

You: my mother warn me about this type of girls

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hello

Stranger: Heyyyy c;

You: HI

Stranger: Gitl or dude ?

Stranger: Girl*

You: oh my, i am men

You: are you men or lady?

Stranger: Lady . c:

You: oh hello lady

Stranger: Who are you ?

You: men

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hello

Stranger: Asl?

You: what is this asl you speak of!?

Stranger: A sex location!

You: oh sometimes i have sex in parent bedroom

You: but why do you want to know where i have sex?

Stranger: Nigga please

You: but for your personal information i only do this because parent bed is big

You: and mine is small

You: and i am not black you idiot guy

You: please refrain from call me this

Stranger: So your one of those fatasses that needs tons of room to jack it?

You: OMG MEN YOU ARE SO STUPID GUY

You: for your personal infromation the women i bring to bedroom are large and incharge

You: i am quite the attraction

Stranger: K. I'm the dumbass but you just called me a "men"

You: oh are you lady?

You: sorry, you sound like a men

Stranger: You mean man?

Stranger: Tard

You: ....no , i mean men

You: hey don't call me a tard, you stupid elephant fish

Stranger: Dude are you like 6 years old or what?

You: no but your father is six year old

You:
he tell me last night when he was having dinner with the police officer
that was in my house who was in the process of arresting your mother in
law for touching me inappropriately

Stranger: Fag

You: ya i know you are but what am i

Stranger: A fag. That's what you are

You:
hey you are just angry because you log onto omegle text chat today in
hopes to talk to lady and have sexual conversations about your small
penis that you have in your panties, but instead you come to find a men

You: do not take your anger out on me friend

You: i am here just minding my own buisness

You: not doing any harm to the community

Stranger: K fuck you

You: ya i bet you would like to do this

You: you want me to bend over friend?

You: i will do this right now

You: ok you cannot see me but i am bending over

You: not for you to fuck me in the ass but for me to fart on your nostril

You: enjoy the smell, i had fish soup today

Stranger: Fish soup? Who the fuck eats that?

You: real men eat fish soup

You: i bet you eat stuff like bowl of shit

You: with a side of tuna and meatball

Stranger: No, I eat normal stuff, unlike grown men that sit in their moms basements and jackoff while your parents are working

You: no i am not a pussy fraidy cat

You: i have no problem do in basement while they are at home

You: stupid idiot guy

You: so joke is on you

Stranger: Oh yeah, you do it on your parents bed

You: yes

You: i tell you men

You: i do this

Stranger: Do you have downs or what?

You: what is downs men?

Stranger: Down syndrome. That's sad mommy hasn't even told you about your diagnosis yet.

You: hey , you know what i find to be amazing?

You: that you are over there in your little fancy rhinoceroses costume, when you should be here, scratching my asshoe

Stranger: K

You: ya

You: tough guy ah?

You: not so tough now ah?

Stranger: Yeah dude you scared the shit out of me

You:
ya sleep with your eyes open mr.tough omegle guy, you never know when a
men will just be standing over your bed with a lightsaber ready to
attack

Stranger: A star wars nerd at that.

You: ya sometimes

Stranger: I bet you get all the ladies.

You: YES MEN YES

You: all the ladies i get, and i get all the ladies, but if i do not get all the ladies, will the ladies get?

Stranger: Autistic,

You: oh nice fancy word there mr.omegle asshole, did you make this word up yourself, or did you find in dictionary?

Stranger: No dude I'm trying to figure out type of retardation your suffering from

Stranger: *what

You:
hey remember when you were on video chat rubbing your little hairy penis
against the side of your leg for the past two hour but you did not find
any luck with any girls willing to give you sexy online time, so you
come to text chat and make fun of a men who is clearly a big ladies men
because you are a jealous stupid idiot asshole who goes by the name of
Steel Angel on the Insurgency Wrestling Federation E Federation ?

Stranger: Someone watches too much scifi

You: ya men, how is your tranny girlfriend Kurumi?

Stranger: So which hand do you most prefer?

Stranger: Right or left?

You: I use right hand to be brutally honest

Stranger: So, you must be one of those anime fags?

You: OMG MEN you are stupid fucking idiot guy

You: you are the one who like anime

You: you post anime pictures all the time in Chatbox

Stranger: K

Stranger: Your grammar is impeccable

You: ya and your grammer smell like the last shit i take

You: let me infrom you it was a stinky one

You: so what i mean to say, is it is very bad

Stranger: What fucking country are you from? You spell like an African refugee that's just now learning to speak english

You: hey I bet if there was a cat on the street, you will pick up and bring home to mommy and ask if you can keep

You: "mommy, can i keep cat? it is so cute like my anus"

Stranger: You can't even fucking spell grammar?

Stranger: Seriously dude, are you a high school dropout or what?

You:
sorry but my mother tel me not to answer strangers questions, and OH HEY
LOOK, what do I see her? your name is in red text and it say Stranger.
My mother must've known this day would come, when I go to online chat
and see Stranger

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hi

Stranger: m 17 israel u?

You: i am men

Stranger: from?

You: from home

You: one love

Stranger: gay?

You: why you ask this question

You: are you?

Stranger: yaap

You: oh my

You: hello

Stranger: ?

Stranger: u gay or not

You: yes yes

Stranger: lay

You: i am not only gay but i am also men

Stranger: layer

You: if it is a "liar" in which you are trying to call me, then YOU my friend are the liar

You: i am gay and proud

You: and i will have you know I have attended many gay festivities with my father

You: so joke is on you

Stranger: ok sory man

You: it is ok

Stranger: dont cry

You: ya men i not

You: you say sorry so i dont cry

Stranger: do u love dick in your fucking ass?

You: ya

You: sometimes i take big shit and i say "wow, that is how much dick i can take in my ass"

Stranger: hahaha

You: yes men

Stranger: push your finger in ur ass man its fun im doing it jusr now mannn

You: ok

You: hold on

You: i never do this before

Stranger: ok

You: how far

Stranger: belive

You: how far i push men?

Stranger: 4

You: FOUR FINGERS?

Stranger: yep

You: i can barely manage to push one in

You: it is so tight

You: oh my god

You: hey men

You: i take a whiff of my finger just now

You: and it smell HORRIBLE

You: oh my fucking goodness

You: this is a disgusting smell

Stranger: hahahaha

Stranger: u so funny

You: no men

You: this is true story

You: fuck i must wash finger now

Stranger: no no man smell it like sigaret

You: men but it smell bad

Stranger: so..

Stranger: so..

Stranger: ?

You: ....

You: it is stinky men

You: it make me want to throw up

Stranger: now touch ur dick

Stranger: with the same fingers u pushes into ur ass

Stranger: belive me its fun

Stranger: here?

You: yes

You: oh my god

You: it feel so nice

You: hey but i dont have a dick, so i am just putting my fingers in my pussy

You: mmm

You: i am so wet

You: my vagina is so hairy and wet

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: Heyyy
You: why hello
Stranger: Asl
You: what is this asl of which you speak
Stranger: Where r u from?
You: i am from great country of india
You: but where u are from?
Stranger: India is not the great
You: OMG MEN take that back!
You: india is yes the great
Stranger: India sucks balls
You: no men it is clearly you who is sucking the balls!
You: if you not can appreciate country that is india
Stranger: Ur english sucks too
You: i take english class in school
You: i am one of best student
Stranger: Ur kidding
You: i am not kid

LMFAO

Stranger: hi asl

You: Asl?

You: Is that chat shorthand for asshole?

Stranger: no

You: Fucking text messages

You: Ruinin our language bit by bit I tell you

Stranger: its for age sex location

You: 30, my bedroom, more often than not

You: Sometimes the living room if the playoffs are on

Stranger: um eew

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: heyy

You: Can you unsend a picture message?

Stranger: ummm depends on the phone

You: Samsung Galaxy S

You: Android OS

Stranger: you might be able to stop it but idk how.

You: My ex sent me a pic of her new bf's dong

Stranger: ohh jeez

You: So to get back at her I sent her my new gfs boobs, but she and my mom have the same name, and they're both in my phone

You: I think I sent it to my mom!

You: That was incidental

Stranger: ohhh crap thats not good

You: It's not a freudian thing

You: Like, I didn't date her just cause she had the same name as my mom

You: But this is colossally bad

Stranger: yeah the only way to stop a poc is to

Stranger: pic is to delete the message before its sent

Stranger: i think

You: So I have to try and get across town and get her phone before she wakes up

Stranger: good luck with that

You: Dammit

You: It's like christmas

You: only worse

You: lol

You: She don't want what's under the tree

Stranger: lol

You: Lying awake, waiting for santa to come

You: And then the awkward silence when he would zip up his pants and leave.

You: What do you know about Vultures?

Stranger: iiiii

Stranger: nothing

You: Hmmm

You: I'm trying to figure out how many of them it takes to consume...

Stranger: whaat should i know

You: 137 pounds of meat

You: Give or take

You: Like, quickly

You: before anyone at the office notices she's missing

Your conversational partner has disconnected.