Jinx [vs.] Beno

The flight into Atlanta was unexciting. It was a flight Jinx and I were getting used to. This wasn't are first time to the rodeo, Pay Per View's were starting to become a habit for the clown. The ride to the hotel was a long one, but the sight never grew old. The Dome was the crown jewel of the city of Atlanta You could spot it right when you fly in. There is no denying how special the place is to Jinx. Its the same arena Jinx won the 2010 CWC Ascension Invitational. The same arena Jinx defeated Tyler Graves to regain the CWC World Championship. The same arena he'll be defending his Full Throttle Championship against Beno

No matter how many times I see the Georgia Dome I still get goose bumps, and looking at Jinx I could tell he felt the same way.

But it wasn't the arena that had Jinx giddy as a school girl, I secretly hoped it was excitement for what could be a epic showdown with Beno. But as soon as we pulled up to the Holiday Inn, I realized it had nothing to do with 'Heroes Also Die'. The Holiday inn updated there standards, sort of. They opened up a 'Whiskey Pete's' a bar that had a twist, it served as a Freak show.

Which explains Jinx having a Justin Bieber reaction.

Jinx
'OMG! DO YOU SEE THIS JIMMY JAMES!!! THEY HAVE A WHISKEY PETE'S!!!!'

James Walker
"Could you control yourself, at least until you get inside the lobby?! You're the IWF Full Throttle Champion, the last thing we need is Beno watching you get off on a billboard for a local freak show."

Jinx begins to rub the billboard

Jinx
'It's better then Disney world'

Maybe for a bipolar head-case, I didn't see anything special about the add, and after walking into the joint I was even more disappointed. The place looked like a run-down bar, with different and odd artifacts all over the place, there was even a stage for acts to perform. It reminded me of a Applebee's on meth. It was the typical place you would find someone like Jinx hanging out at.

Jinx
'Jimmy James, why don't you check us in, the Full Throttle champ is looking to promote!'

James Walker
"Jinx...Really think the people of IWF want there champion promoting 'Whiskey Pete's?"[/b]

Jinx
'Heroes Also Die is turning two this sunday, tell em I'm getting a head start on the celebrations'

[i]James Walker
"Celebrating for a PPV two year anniversary? You? Yea, because you're everyone's favorite FT champion."

Jinx]
'They boo because they love me'

James Walker
"What about Beno? The match is this weekend!!!"[/b]

He wasn't listing to me, he ducked inside Whiskey Pete's. I don't care what the clown says, he isn't celebrating, if anything he's drowning out whatever fear he has. This match was personal. He wanted this match almost three weeks ago. He heard all the whispers at Last week's Battle Ground.

We got ourselves a challenge!

I left the bags where they were, fuck it a bell boy can take care of them. I followed the clown and almost insistently clouds of smoke filled my lungs as Jinx made his way to the bartender. The clown walked to the bar and took a seat on one of the empty stools. It had to be the only place in the world where the bartender didn't do a double take. Guess working at a place like this, having a clown step up to the bar really wasn't that strange.

The bartender was an overweight hard-ass. A tough guy to say the least. Jinx was at home in this type of environment.

This was his Starbucks

[i]The Bartender
"What can I get you?"

Jinx looked around the big guy, eyeing the alcohol bottles, he decided on a decent drink.

Jinx
'Whiskey, straight up. Actually, bring me three of them. It's gonna be that type of weekend.'

He could say that again, the only thing keeping me sane was the stipulation. If Jinx called Whiskey Pete's Disneyland, a championship defense is gonna look like foreplay to the clown.

The fat man returned with the clown's request, and laid them in front of him. He then turned his back to Jinx and finished wiping down some of the glasses. Not a very social bartender.

Jinx lit a cigarette and began watching everyone in the bar. A couple guys were having their own conversations. I thought I heard something about Heroes Also Die, Local die-hard fans.

They were probably fags for all Jinx knew.

He looked to his right to see a pair of couples admiring 'Bridget The Midget' I tried not to wonder what there conversation consisted of. Jinx on the other hand was drooling at the sight of Bridget

Jinx
'Can you just picture the things a man could do to that! She's like a living blow-up doll, just smaller'

I could feel the inside of my stomach crawl inside out at the thought, I had to change the subject or risk losing my dinner

James Walker
"HAD is around the corner"

Jinx
'Really!? Because I thought we here on vacation'

I hate when he uses Sarcasm

James Walker
"If you're having doubt, its totally understan-"

It was hard to finish my sentence with a shot glass stuck in my mouth

Jinx
'All week you've been up my ass about Beno. The guy is a disappointment! His pee-sized brain doesn't even know how to put together a promo. I'm starting to realize just why this belt was retired, where's the computation? I should be fighting someone worthy, instead I'm doing the tango with a gorilla'

James Walker
"I just want to make sure you see him as a threat"

Jinx
'Pretty hard not to with you stapling that fact to my nuts every ten minutes! You want me to salute the guy and call him my adversary? I can't, I truly hate the guys guts!'

Couldn't argue with that, it's good to see some sort of fire in Jinx's eyes. This match with Beno has been brewing the moment Jinx became the Full Throttle Champion last month. Now the match was a few days from happening, and I'm confident.

Jinx
'Smile a little Jimmy James, you look constipated. Were celebrating!'

James Walker
"Happy Two years HAD"

Jinx
'Screw that, that was only an excuse...Were celebrating my soon to be marriage!'

I feel off my stool, Marriage? What Marriage? Jinx grabbed two more shots before heading towards Bridget. I couldn't help but sit there dumbfounded. This was starting to get out of hand

I took another shot

James Walker
"Add another memory to the Atlanta scrapbook"



They say a picture is worth a thousand words, will that one right there pretty much explains what I think about whenever someone mentions the name Beno. Besides providing gas relief, he's also a member of Natural Law...

A membership I see expiring sooner then later

It's a good thing Chad Mason had low expectations from his hired Ape. Because this guy hasn't done jack shit besides get his ass handed to him for the last month! I don't think the kid has been worth mentioning since he guest starred on Hi-Jinx.

The people only find a tattooed Ape entertaining for so long

You're a genetic experiment gone horribly wrong, Beno. What you are Beno is a pathetic Justin Kash looking, Colin Powell sounding fudgepackin’ throwback from an era where you didn’t need actual skill, athleticism, or brains for that matter. All you needed was size and power and you could be something.

Shit’s changed nowadays homie. Get with the times you stuck in park lackey cum belcher. Oh you didn’t know? The bigger you are, the more pressure is put on your feet, knees, and lower back. So if you’re wondering why you’re choking down pain pills like Mike and Ikes, that’s why.

Don't get it twisted, I am savvy enough to help you on that road to cripple even quicker. Your back? Consider it a target. Your knees? Prepare for them to be blown out. Your feet? I’m gonna stomp on them like a bull trampling a rodeo clown. You lock up with me boy and I’ll show you I’m the dirtiest mothafucka you will ever face in your life. Come Heroes Also Die, I will pry into your mouth and rip out your tongue. That way you can hum and tap dance as Chad Mason plays a diddy on his fiddle.

If you ever.....EEEEVVVVVVEEEERRRR try that shit with me fucktard I will crack your giant ape skull open and feed your brain to the Arcview Inmates. They won’t know the difference with the regurgitated dog vomit I feed them on a regular basis. In fact they might actually enjoy it.

’m the new wave of wrestling Beno. A talented, intelligent predator that will pick you apart before he rips out your jugular. You’re too slow, both mentally and physically to keep up with me thrilla gorilla. I am going to make a goddamn mockery of you in that ring, as if that were any more possible.

Beno, I realize that you and your group of brain dead butt thugs need an ass beating to divert your attention elsewhere. While it may be impossible to retire a cum and a steroid fueled zombie such as yourself, I can put your attention elsewhere after giving you a proper beating. Violence is sometimes the only way you can get through to an animal, so someone better call PETA because I’m about to go chicken hunting.

This isn’t going to be twenty minutes of a giant laying on you, rubbing your grease paint against his hairy sweaty chest as he pants like an overweight collie in heat. This is going to be ten minutes or less of back and forth ass beatings from the clown prince of the insurgency. Face it kid, you’re a deformed, mutilated mutant faggot

Show up ready for a massacre. I don’t give a shit who the fuck you got, this belt is staying with me.

Suck on that you festering pile of dick cheese.

Until Heroes Also Die ...

ToOtLeSsSs

I always had a high tolerance for pain. Something that has helped me throughout most of my life. No, not most of my life. All of my life. It is very well the biggest reason that I was able to stand my father growing up. You see, my father was a hockey trainer. And his way to success was that his players were as big and strong as possible. You had to be at least 250 pounds of pure muscle and at least 6’2 foot tall. There was a reason the team was nicknamed The Monsters you know. He could care less about techinque and flair. Great teamwork and a beautiful playing style could kiss his ass. All he wanted was power, determination and an undying will to succeed. If you were in range you better fire that puck at the net. He was so obsessed with winning that he didn’t care how dirty or hard his players played. As long as it worked he applaud it.

“Just Win Baby!”

He used to tell team before every game. If you didn’t give 110% to every single thing, he would rip you a new one before he benched you. I am not kidding. I have seen him make grown men cry. My dad was a real man’s man. He drank beer, ate lots of meat and never touched a vegetable. He had a beard and enjoyed sports. Every sport where there was a chance for a fight really. People started to worry when they heard my mother was pregnant and that guy was about to become a father. My father bragged about me when I was a baby. He told the world that I would become the best hockey player the world would ever see! And he would make it happen.

My dad made me train harder than anyone and when I was younger the only reason I was able to cope with it was because of my mom. She knew when to tell my dad to stop. Because I respected him too much to say no. So it was all good. But then my mom left and somehow my dad won custody. That is when people started to worry. I heard all the talk. But it never had any effect on me. I’d heard the stories. I’d heard about the two older siblings I apparently had. How my sister had ran away and how my dad kicked my brother out when he refused to play Hockey. I never heard my dad or mom mention them so I didn’t believe any of it. But there was still that bit of doubt. And even if I did not believe any of this, it still made me hate my dad even more.

But after my mom left nothing much changed. I understood why she left. My dad had her whipped. She had to do everything while he didn’t lift a finger. And on very rare occasion I saw bruises on her. And even though I never asked I wa smart enough to put two and two together. But none of this ever changed my dad. My dad still made me practice a game I hated. The fitness training just became more intense as my dad kept chasing his dream. But his dream took a huge blow.

When I was 15, I went through a goth period. I wore eye-liner and did everything to rebel against my dad. I cut myself sometime and I do believe that I even made out with a guy or two. Goth guys did that sometimes. Don’t ask why. I wouldn’t know how to answer. My dad was furious. And all the rage was being taking out on me. He forced me to the gym and the training just became even harder. I hated my dad at the time. By the time I was 18 years old, my goth period was over, I still wore eye-liner from time to time and dyed my hair. But other than that I was just like every other 18 year old. But my dad’s dream took another huge blow. I was 5’9 feet tall. Too short to play for my dad. But for the first time in his life. My dad went against his principles. He still picked me up for the team. And my debut would change my life forever.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Shaun Highguard.
It is time! Get in!!

My dad shouted at me. I would rather be anywhere else in the world but right here but I skated onto the ice. I remember how horrible it was. I was nervous. Everything went wrong but dad refused to take me off. He wanted me to succeed. He wanted everyone to remember my debut as something great. The beginning of an era. And it was. Just not what he was expecting. I chased the puck down a corner and got a hold of it. But as I turned I caught an elbow to the nose. In the heat of the moment I didn’t feel any pain. I just chased after the puck again. The opponent was going straight towards the goal and from the back of my ear I could hear my dad screaming.

Shaun Highguard.
Jacob!! STOP HIM!!

This man infront of me was too big for me to tackle so I did the second best thing. I tripped him with my stick. The ref must have been blind because he said nothing. The tide turned again and this I was racing towards the goal and that is when it happened. I was sandwiched between two big gorillas. The next thing I remember were the lights on the ceiling amd this weird taste in my mouth. It came from my upper lip. It was blood. And I know this is sick but I liked the taste. And suddenly I was so pumped. I got back to my feet and the first thing I noticed was the same guy who elbowed me, stood there laughing.

Jacob Highguard.
I’ll show him.

The rest of the match was great. And for the first time I actually enjoyed hockey. I scored two goals and everything went great. Never have I seen my dad so happy. Finally his dream was coming true. Finally all this work was paying off. But then I destroyed his dream. I was again chasing after the same guy I tripped. I could on his jersey that his name was Miller. Miller the Killer they called him. I tried to go for the puck but it was impossible. So I did it again. I tripped him. He fell face first to the ice. I got back up and was furious. Never have I seen so much rage before. Except for when my dad was at his angriest of course. He grabbed me by my shirt.

Miller the Killer.
YOU LITTLE FUCK! I SWEAR TO GOD THAT I WILL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF!!

I just smirked at him.

Jacob Highguard.
Bite me!

Then he punched me. I fell to the ice and the punches just started to rain down over me. I was defenseless. But somehow that was exactly what I wanted. Then the buzzer sounded. The match was over. We had won. Which just enraged Miller even more. My entire face was covered in blood when he got up and left. So there I was. Just made my debut, topscorer, man of the match and beaten to blood. While I was laying there I laughed. There was something so fulfilling about this. Something so refreshing. This was not over. I got back to my feet. I noticed that Miller had taken off his helmet. I grabbed a hockey stick. The only thing I wanted to do was to smash the fucking thing through his head. I got in position and looked at my dad. He just nodded. And so I did it. I whacked him one over the head and he fell to the ground. He didn’t even flinch. And then all hell brooke lose. Fights were everywhere and every single fan tried to get through the barrier. But I? I just stood on the outside and looked in. Looking at the carnage and chaos I had caused. And as I stood there I suddenly felt and arm take around me. I looked up to see my dad.

Shaun Highguard.
I am proud of you son.

And that is when I finally realized it. My dad was never my enemy. My dad never took out his frustrations on me. All he ever did was making me a man. In his own brutal way he secratly taught me to stand up for myself and never take shit from anyone. And those siblings of mine? They were just to weak. My dad was never my enemy. My dad was my hero.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

That was four years ago. I never heard anything from Miller again. Rumours say that I killed him. But I find that highly unlikely. I played Hockey for three more years. I didn’t play to win. I played to hurt my opponent. But that is not enough anymore. I want more. I want new ways to inflict pain. So just imagine what I can do in a sport where the goal is the hurt your opponent. I am so looking forward to this. A sick bastard like me in a wrestling ring. Oh it is going to be good.

You better be fucking ready IWF!



Listen up boys, listen up really good. I am going to kick both of your asses. And it is not because I want that title of your’s Jinx. Because I don’t give a flying fuck. But what I wanna do is this. I wanna send a message. I want to make an instant impact. I want everyone to know who I am. I want the ass-kicking I gave you two to be what people talk about when they leave.

Screw who walks out with the IWF title around their waste. What will be important is if Jinx and Beno will be able to compete again. People will be wondering if you two can even walk after the match because I FUCKED you so hard.

Oh yeah, I just made sexual reference about beating you two. What are you gonna do about it? Nothing! Exactly! I am going to do some sick things in that ring. But don’t think that you two were just there at the wrong place at the wrong time. No no, I picked you two for a reason. Because Beno. If I can demolish you, like I will and can, it send a loud and clear message to Natural Law. I destroyed their big man just like that. What does that say about Natural Law? And Jinx. When I can so easily beat up a champion. The rest of IWF has been warned. Because after I am done no one will give a fuck about Apollos winning the IWF title. Oh yeah, he is going to win it.

You mad Steelio?

I have been called the sickest bastard alive, Satan’s reincarnation, the personafication of hardcore. And that is just from hockey games. Imagine what I can do in a wrestling ring. Imagine what I can do in this fucking bloodsport! I have a goal. My dad used to watch this show called Revolution. There was this guy called Corey Casey. He was so scary I shit my pants every time he walked on screen. I believe that I can be scarier than him. I believe that I can be sicker than he was. I believe that I can get more blood flowing that he could.

And you two? You two are just the first ones in the line for me to reach my goal. It is nothing personal against the two of you. I just like to see blood flow. But don’t worry boys. I am perfectly sane. Just a little different.

I can’t promise to do a lot in that ring that will get people talking. But I can think of a lot of things that I can do. Maybe I will lick your blood off your forehead. Maybe I won’t. Maybe I will fly higher than Jason Hawk ever could. Maybe I won’t. Maybe I will beat you two up with a stuffed pig. Maybe I won’t. The only thing that I can promise is that when this match is over and done. You two will be leaving on stretchers. But enjoy those moments boys. Enjoy those seconds when you are being rolled up the ramp. Because it may be the last time anyone sees you on television. Maybe it won’t.

But seriously. When I have beaten you up that much. I am gonna follow you up that ramp. Just to beat you up some more! How nice is that of me! I am giving you two more TV-time that would otherwise just have been hugged up by Natural Law!

AND I WILL DO IT ALL WITH A SMILE!

But would I really do such things to two blokes that I do not even know at all? You would have to be sick to do so!

Well..

I guess I am a pretty sick guy.

When the clown wasn’t baked or getting hairy midget pussy, he was doing something he rarely did in his career....train. Lifting weights. Real, actual dumbbells. Some over 20 pounds! Amazing right? In addition to a forced weight training regimen, he did cardio like crazy. Jinx got lit up like a Christmas tree and did outdoor triathlons. At first he was losing, and miserably, but then as the days went on he was getting better and better. 68th place his first day....23rd by his fourth. Many local runners and riders were amazed at his quick progression. For once, The clown was truly motivated.

But the training didn’t stop there. Weight training and cardio were just two parts of the pie. The final piece awaited Jinx inside the Georgia Dome. We arrived by limo to the venue, being dropped off right in front of the entrance. After entering the main area, they came across a wrestling ring, already set up and ready to go in this empty Dome. A frail looking curtain was set up on the west side entrance, completing the extremely basic Heroes Also Die set up

James Walker
You got something crazy planned, don’t you?

Jinx
'It wouldn’t be me without crazy, would it?'

I gave off a big weed smoker grin, happily blazed off the Cotton Candy Kush blunt I shared with The Clown prince of IWF on the way here

Jinx
Just stand here one sec.

Jutting his head to the curtain, Jinxy took a deep breath

Jinx
SHOOOOWWWWWTTTIIIIIMMMEEEE!!!!

Coming out through the curtains was the clown's Arcview posse. Lead by Leroy the Hobo, all of them came out with a purpose. Leroy was dressed in his finest Dumb and Dumberesque powder blue tuxedo, carrying a microphone. Larry the Leprechaun carried with him an old school ghetto blaster, hauling that thick block of grey plastic over his shoulder. Strapped to his back was a backpack fitted PA. He looked to be struggling from having to carry so much equipment on him. And leading up the rear was the newest member, BJBF, holding a video camera, and also looking to be struggling from carrying such heavy equipment. Jinx noticed them struggling, and just had to be a dick about it

Jinx
YOU PANSY ASS, VIRGIN BABY DICK, SPIDERMAN UNDERWEAR WEARING FRUIT CHUTERS NEED TO PICK UP THE PACE!!!! PICCKKK IT UUPPPP!!!! NOWWWWW!!!

I chuckled as the two equipment carrying nut jobs hustled along their dragging walk to the ring. Leroy rolled in first, then wiped his suit off as he came to a stand. Larry and BJBF finally made it to the ring, and collapsed to their knees upon doing so. Sweat soaked their medium arcview shirts, and the two breathed like they had just had a trek through the Sahara. The fact they each had at least 50 pounds worth of gear, and it was 95 degrees outside certainly didn’t help their frail, muscle deprived frames. At least they made it just far enough. After laughing and pointing at the dorks for a good fifteen seconds, the clown turned his attention to Leroy in the ring

Jinx
CALL OUT THE FRESH MEAT!!!

Leroy nodded, and spoke into the mic. Sound blasted out from the back of Larry, causing him to cover his ears and scream

Leroy The Hobo
BITCHES AND FAGGOTS!!! LITTLE PAINS IN THE ASSES OF ALL AGES!!!! WE PRESENT TO YOU....THE GREATEST THREE-WAY MATCH....EVEEERRRRR!!!!

Shortly after his intro, Larry pressed play on the boombox. My Time by Fabolous began to play, bringing on an odd look from myself to the clown. He merely kept looking forward, and said with a smile..

Jinx
Just wait and see.

Out through the curtains emerged two very familiar faces. They looked taken back, and slightly off put being dressed in professional wrestling costumes. The older man was wearing a navy blue singlet, allowing wrinkly hairy fat to puff up from his tight uniform like rising yeast. Next to him was an older man, dressed in cut off jean shorts, a sleeveless shirt with a pair of brass knuckles on the front, and a plethora of emo accessories. My jaw dropped, and once again I looked over to the grinning Jinx, who refused to say a word.

Leroy the Hobo
MAKING THEIR WAY TO THE RING IS TWO USELESS PIECES OF SHIT WHO SHOULD JUST GIVE IT UP AND STOP EMBARRASSING THEMSELVES IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA!!! PORN STARS HAVE MORE DIGNITY THEN THESE FAME STARVED FUCKFACES!! PLEASE GIVE A HATEFUL WELCOME TO TONIGHT’S VICTIMS, BENO AND ZLATAN JAX!!!!

James Walker
Not a bad intro kid!

Jinx
He’s learning

Both of the D list celebrities started mad dogging Leroy and talking smack. Leroy looked their direction in the most serious face possible, and said...

Leroy The Hobo
Sorry, I’m just reading the cards. Blame the cards!

The two stars combo rolled in the ring, and got in Leroy's face right away. He kept pointing to the cards, but that didn’t stop the male from grabbing Leroy by his jacket and scolding him

James Walker
Looks like Molly Ringwald and Rutger Hauer are going to kick Leroy's ass. You gonna allow it?

The clown looked at him as if he just heard the most absurd question ever

Jinx
Of course!

Just as it looked as if Leroy was going to get his ass handed to him, a set of profuse apologies got Rutger to release his grasp, and look at Jinxy

BENO/Rutger
You got a problem with me!?

He perked up right away, taking off his purple jacket

Jinx
Oh fuck yeah I got a problem! PLAY MY MUSIC!!!!!

Leroy pressed stop, and goes to flip the tape around. Unfortunately he fumbled it like the butterfingers he is, dropping it in the sand. Rutger waves him on, wanting him to get in the ring

BENO/RUTGER
Well come on nancy boy, get in the fucking ring!!

Jax wooed on his fellow D list celebrity partner as he stepped back, even giving the clown room to enter. A pissed looking Jinx looked to Leroy, who was blowing the sand off the tape

Jinx
I WILL BUT I NEED MY MUSIC!!! PLAY MY FUCKING MUSIC!!!

The jittery, panicky Leroy finally got the tape in, and pressed play. ‘Pussy Liquor’ by Rob Zombie played, and the clown started roaring. He beat on his chest several times, then rolled into the ring with Jimmy James. Jinx got right up in the face of Rutger, talking smack as Leroy did the introduction

Leroy The Hobo
IN THE RING RIGHT NOW, READY TO FUCK SHIT UP HEAVILY IS THE BEST MOTHERFUCKING CLOWN ON THIS PLANET, ANY PLANET, IN ALL PLANES OF EXISTENCE!!! THIS IS THE ONE, THE ONLY, UNHOLY COMBINATION OF AWESOMENESS AND MURDER COMBINED, THE PRESIDENT AND PRIME MINISTER OF PUNISHMENT...

Jax/Molly
HURRY THE FUCK UP ALREADY!!!

Leroy The Hobo
…THE IWF FULL THROTTLE CHAMPION! THE ONE AND ONLY! JINX!!!

To cap off the intro, Leroy dropped the mic and pulled out two cap guns from his pocket. He then started shooting them in the sky, making up for the lack of pyrotechnics. Getting face to face with his opponents, Jinx jaw jacked with Molly and Rutger up until the point Rutger started this contest up. A real punch to the jaw knocked the clown to his ass, and Rutger was on him. Leroy removed his dress shirt and jacket, revealing a ref shirt underneath. Immediately he ordered Molly to her corner, who had not the slightest clue which corner was hers. After being pointed to her corner, Molly stood in it, facing the ring. Leroy then had to go up to Molly and order her to stand on the apron. She did so, back to the action, Rutger was still wailing away at the clown with him doing his best to cover up. Somehow he was able to slip his way out of the crappy mount, and get to his feet, eliciting girlish cheers from the boys. From there he grabbed an incoming punch, then pulled in Rutger Hauer for a set of headbutts!! Three hard shots hit Rutger’s face, with one of them landing on the bridge of his nose, breaking it!! Blood trickled from the nose of a shocked Rutger, who felt his crushed nose as he peered up at a stalking Jinx

Beno/Rutger
YOU SAID THIS WAS FAKE YOU LITTLE SHIT!!! I BETTER GET PAID DOUB...

That comment was ended with a huge stomp to the face, knocking Rutger back. From there Jinx dove towards him, aiming to knock him out with a flying punch. However Rutger tilted his head, allowing the clown's fist to hit the mat. Rutger grabbed onto Jinx's torso, and rolled him into an offensive mount position

Beno/Rutger
I’M GOING TO BEAT YOUR ASS, THEN SUE YOU FOR EVERY LAST PENN...

“OHHHS” came from the boys as Rutger dropped his posture from a hard knee to the groin. As Rutger groaned in pain, BJinx shoved him off and got to his feet. Backing off into a corner, The clown screamed...

JINX
YOU FUCKED UP THRILLA MAGRILLA!!!

He then waved on Rutger, who tried his best to fight through the excruciating pain of having his balls smashed in, and dealing with a broken nose. Still, the old man stood, dripping blood all over the canvas. As he wearily turned towards Jinx, the kid charged

Jinx
LAST LAUGH!!

A second later and his head collided with Rutger’s nose, again. This time flattening it. Rutger fell to the mat, bleeding profusely, and concussed, as Jinx kicked his feet in pain. Instead of rolling over for the cover, Jinx grasped his sore head and picked himself up. He casually walked up to Beno, smiling at the bleeding, knocked out old actor. Picking up his dead fish hand, he dragged him over to his corner. Not paying the slightest bit attention to the match, Molly was too busy texting away so she could land a Lifetime movie role and finally make her studio apartment rent. She completely zoned out, forgetting she was in the match, ignoring the cries of her partner...that is till’ the old man hand of Rutger touched her thigh. At first she said “ew!” but then realized what that meant. Out of the ten second rundown Lerooy gave backstage, she remembered this was called a ‘tag match’. And being she got tagged, that must mean she is it. Coming into the ring, Jinx casually backed up, letting her have entry room. She walked towards him with a fake menacing look, to which Jinx bent down and shoved himself in her armpit. She instinctively locked on a headlock. looking proud of herself with a big ginger smile. That ended as the clown picked her up, dropping her on her skull with a murder backdrop!! She rolled around in pain, screaming annoyingly. High pitched squeals caused the boys to cover their ears as Jinx picked her up by her hair, only to knee her in the face! Blood splattered from her mouth, making those screams a little more bloody. She collapsed to the mat, leaving the clown to hover over her. Sitting on the small of her spine, he hooked up the camel clutch, bringing on a cacophony of pure annoyance.

Jinx
JESUS CHRIST THIS WHORE IS ANNOYING!!! TIME TO PUT HER OUT OF HER MISERY!!!

The Clown smiled and yanked up Molly by her hair again, only to slam her off the mat with the Pie Smash! Indeed, her lights did go out as she fell unconscious. Pulling their bodies close to each other, The clown then went for the double KO pinfall

1....

2....

3!!!

Leroy pulled his mic out from his back pocket

Leroy the Hobo
YOUR WINNER, AS IF IT WASN’T FUCKING OBVIOUS, JINX!!!

The boys wooed away as Jinx raising his hand to the imaginary crowd. The clown then reached into his suit vest, pulling out two rolls of cash. He shoved one into the mouth of Rutger, and the other into the mouth of Molly. Then he looked to me, who was shaking his head and smiling at the disrespect.

James Walker
Jinxy, they are gonna sue the SHIT out of you.

Jinx
Let em’. They signed a contract, they knew what they were getting themselves into. Their suit won’t hold up in any court.

The clown then looked out to BJBF, who was still taping them

Jinx
HEY DICK VOMIT, DID IT COME OUT ALRIGHT?!

Raising a thumb, BJBF confirmed the positive

Jinx
Good. Well that was fun. Let's go visit Whiskey Pete's to celebrate a good work out

The clown had a good laugh, leaving the bloody, unconscious D listers laid out with no medical attention



Let me get this straight here, the brass of the insurgency seems to have given up on the genetic ape and tosses in a rookie to spice things up? This kid Jax is filled with piss and vinegar, yet he's throwing out a promo against me like his name was added to the show?! How embarrassing, You put together more words then the number one contender himself and the best you can hope for is being a contestant on Hi-Jinx!

But if a spot on Hi-Jinx isn't good enough, I will be more then happy to serve my boot at plus one-hundred mile per hour speeds right into you're rectum as that skin of your head turn red, blue, violet and a bunch of other ‘Skittle’ colors. Jax, I’ve been waiting for this moment. I’ve been waiting to finally put an end to Beno's monster hype, but since I'm in such a jolly mood, I'll serve out ass whoopins like they were Walmart specials!

This week's rollback special: Two for the price of one

Your message means nothing, you are a fucking pussy, so you CAN’T and you WON’T do anything to me. I’m not a child, I don’t run and hide when I hear you roar. Your roaring voice is just like me urinating in the toilet … it’s excess water flowing out, it’s not important.

Jax shit, you are living in a fantasy world. What, you think you’re in the Matrix, Neo? You are “The One” who’s going to save us all from these computer-generated nightmares? You aren’t going to stop my bullets from hitting you in the head and chest. You’re not going to backbend in slow-motion to dodge my wrath, you will not get to that nearby telephone to escape the blackness that you will be held within.

I’m going to take you there like the ‘Staples Singers’. Let's be honest here kid, You should be selling programs for Heroes Also Die, rather then trying to weasel you're way in a championship match

As for Beno, my genetic gorilla keep doing what you're doing, keep sitting at home, watching the Price is Right, eating you're riods like they were cheerios and reading the daily paper, because it's clear you don't give a rat ass about this championship. You had three weeks, and haven't said a damn word! Come HAD, I’m going to leave you crying like Tyson when he retired on his stool. Fifty thousand people seeing live in action, a beast crying like a two year old. It’s about to happen and I’m going to be the one who causes that reaction. Say bye-bye to whatever career you got left, buddy … because after Heroes Also Die, you'll be in the unemployment line right next to James Shark and Cody Taylor

Until next time ...

ToOtLeSsSs

I watched as Shark eagerly searched for his pen. He threw papers to the floor and smacked the drawers. This was intense.

James Shark.
Nigga, where ma pen?!?

I chuckled.

James Shark.
Nigga, did you take it!? Little batboy like you look like you take tingz from da niggers!

Is he calling me a thief? Takes one to know one, right? But the truth was that I hadn’t taken it. Or you know.. not yet.. It was laying right there, slightly to his left. But this was rather entertaining. I was here at The Confidence Gym to sign up. Since it was pretty much a private gym I had to go through a lot of stuff. They had to fully trust their members. So they had to know all kinds of shit. This probably meant that I had to tell them the story about my dad and all that.. how I love that story... Apparently they didn’t want any problems at all with their members. That stroke me as odd. I looked at the man sitting on the other side of the desk. Mr. Problems, James Shark. The man does nothing but cause problems and he doesn’t want any problems with his members? Or so I have heard. I’ve heard he just got thrown out of IWF for causing problems. Not really sure what he did. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. No wait.. I take that back. He is pretty much just trouble. But he trained hard, just the way I like it, so whatevs.

Cody Taylor.
Fuck you! No! I never took your damn pen!

Where did he come from?

James Shark.
SAY SWEAR TO GOD!

Cody Taylor.
Swear to god! It was probably batboy over here.

I am not really sure, but I think batboy is a nickname for being gay? Well.. I had some experience... Stupid goth era... Oh look, they still haven’t found the pen. They probably won’t mind if I take it.

James Shark.
Hey man! Be nice to batboy. He is nice guy.

Cody Taylor.
Why is he wearing eye-liner?

Zlatan Jax.
Guyliner! Huge difference. Says so on the bottle.

It doesn’t say so on the bottle.

Cody Taylor.
Whatever weirdo.

He shakes his head and leaves. I take out the pen and flick it at the back of his head.

Zlatan Jax.
Headshoot.

I whisper to myself.

Cody Taylor.
What the fuck!?!

I nod towards Shark, who is still looking for his pen. Cody picks up the pen and throws it Shark. It soars through the air and hits Shark in the eye.

James Shark.
WHAT THE FUCK NIGGA!!

Cody Taylor.
FUCK YOU!

Cody screams before smashing the door. Such dumbasses.

James Shark.
Swear to god Imma knock him out!

Zlatan Jax.
Your pen is right there.

I point at it. Shark picks it up while still rubbing his eye.

James Shark.
Aight.. So you were kicked out of your last gym? Tell me why mandem.

I smirked. Such a Kash Money story.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I looked around. What a bunch of losers. I remember most of these from old NLWF shows. Havoc was here. Shouldn’t he be in jail for rape? Knife To Know You! I love that guy! Swan Lee!? I thought he died. Oh wait no.. Havoc and Swan Lee in the same room... Someone is definantly going to get fucked. I hope Alison is here so I am safe from those two. Wait! Swan Lee is gay... Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.......

Havoc.
Hey! Look at that faggot!

Shit! He is pointing at me!

Swan Lee.
OMG he is so cute! I just wanna stick my dick in his ass.

Fuck you...

Havoc.
Hehehehe.. So do I.

They both walk towards me with evil and horny intentions on their mind.

Zlatan Jax.
Fuck you guys!

They both started to giggle. They I just make them even more horny? I smirked.

Zlatan Jax.
You two will be a nice warm-up anyways.

I took a step back, a deep breath and closed my eyes to focus for a little while and took a fighting stance.

“Hold right there Evildoers!”

“Oh no!”

“Run Swan! Save yourself!”

BOOM! POW! CRASH! BOOM! BOOM!

“Do not worry no more citizen! The evildoers have been dealt with!”

Huh? I opened my eyes.

Zlatan Jax.
Nooooo!

Swan and Havoc were both down and out and Vitaman stood above them.

Vitaman.
These vilains are beaten now! You shall worry no more!

Zlatan Jax.
What have you done!?!?

Vitaman.
Saved the innocent.

Zlatan Jax.
Oh OK.

MOTHERFUCKER!

Zlatan Jax.
Let me shake the hand of the man who saved me.

I extended my hand and Vitaman shook it.

Vitaman.
Now I must go! The innocent need me!

I just smiled at him.

Vitaman.
Why aren’t you letting go of my hand??

Zlatan Jax.


I pulled him in and clotheslined him to the ground.

Zlatan Jax.
FUCK YOU!!!!!!

I screamed in his face. I grabbed bar, which had no weights on it, and proceded to beat Vitaman with it.

Zlatan Jax.
STUPID! FUCKING! PIECE! OF! SHIT! NO! GOOD! FOR! ANYTHING! FUCKER!!!!!!!

I threw the bar down at him and stumbled back a few feet. Vitaman started to get to his hands and knees. I ran towards him and kicked him to the ribs.

Zlatan Jax.
SIT THE FUCK DOWN SON!!!

I turn around just to get punched in the face. The only thing I saw was a fucking clown face.

Zlatan Jax.
DO IT AGAIN!

Suddenly he seemed so confused. He just stood there and stared at me.

Zlatan Jax.
ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU SPEAK IT!?!? HIT ME AGAIN!

Finally Knife To Know You understood. He hit me. Though it was a total pussy punch.

Zlatan Jax.
THEFUCK KIND OF PUNCH IS THAT! HARDER!

He punched me again and this time I stumbled back a few steps.

Zlatan Jax.
THAT’S BETTER! AGAIN!

He punched me again.

Zlatan Jax
HARDER!!!

He really put power into this one and it busted me open.

Zlatan Jax.
THAT’S IT!! NOW I AM BLEEDING! GREAT FUCKING JOB!!

I leaped forward and tackled him to ground and the punches just rained down onto him. I wanted him to bleed. I wanted the entire floor covered in his blood. If that caused him to die from losing too much then so be it. Thefuck did I care about him. I just wanted his fucking blood everywhere! But I still couldn’t see and blood.

Zlatan Jax.
WHY WON’T YOU BLEED!?!?

No blood from the punches? Time to find new methods. So I stock my teeth into his forehead. This better fucking work. And then I tasted it.

Zlatan Jax.
Fuck yeah...

I grabbed the back of his head and pulled him to his feet. I smacked his head against wall. I then wrote my name “ZLATAN” onto the wall using only his head. I then seated him underneath the blood. I ripped off his shirt and fingerpainted “JAX” onto his chest. I backed up a few feet to look at my masterpiece.

Zlatan Jax.
It is a shame I don’t have a camera on me. Such a pretty picture.

“YOU HAVE RUINED THE ASYLUM!!”

Zlatan Jax.
Huh?

I turned around and there stood Justin Kash with tears in his eyes.

Justin Kash.
You have ruined it all! The kashiest stable of all time has been beaten. This kash money idea wasted! You killed them!

Zlatan Jax.
They are still breathing.

Justin Kash.
Shut up! Now you are gonna get it! The kashiest fist with knock you out! It will be the kashiest knock out the world has ever seen!

Zlatan Jax.
But there is no one here to see it.

Justin Kash.
SHUT UP!

He yelled as he started swinging. I easily ducked his punches. This guy is a joke.

Justin Kash.
Stand still so the Kashy one can knock you out.

Zlatan Jax.
OK.

I let him punch me a few times but it was really the lamest punches ever. These punches were a shame to every punch ever thrown. Poor guy, Let me take him out of his misery. I grabbed him by the waist and belly to belly suplexed him into the wall behind me. It was the same wall where my masterpiece was. When he collided with the wall he ruined the “L”

Zlatan Jax.
NO!! You ruined it! My masterpiece

I stomped on his face before picking him up again. I ran with him towards the closest window and threw him right through it.

Zlatan Jax.
Wait.. how long is the fall?

I looked out the window and watched him fall. It was a pretty long fall.

Zlatan Jax.
Oops.

But then I noticed it. He was falling straight onto a trampoline. He bounced back up. Look at him fly.

Zlatan Jax.
Now that was a great warm-up. Now where are those weights?



-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Zlatan Jax.
So yeah... I am not welcomed there anymore...

James Shark.
Dog....

Zlatan Jax.
So can I start working out here?

James Shark.
Iunno dog.. I have to think about it.

Zlatan Jax
I’ll take that as a no... Don’t worry I’ll find my way out.

I got out of the chair.

Zlatan Jax.
But first!

I picked up his pen and put it right infront of his face. And then? I snapped it in half.

James Shark.
DOG NO!!!!



First off! Beno! Fuck you! I am taking you out before the match even begins! Why? Because you suck! You suck some major donkey balls! You don’t even deserve to be in IWF. Therefor I am taking you out!

Beware buddy! Backstage! Before the match even starts. I am taking you out and I am making sure that you never come back. You don’t even get your TV-time! I will make sure that Natural Law loses a member come Heroes Also Die!

But that is cool for you Beno. Because if you get to “die” this week! Then it means you are a hero! You get to leave this company as a hero! Isn’t that nice Beno?! You wanna be a hero, right? I am giving you the chance!

Aren’t I just a nice guy?!

Hi Jinx! Enjoying that belt of yours? Good! Because I changed my mind! I want it now! And I think I’ll send a bigger message if I take your belt also! So really, I am gonna beat you AND take your belt! How great is that?

I don’t even have words to describe it!

But what really matters is this Jinx. When I come down to that ring pumped and ready to take out a second man in only one night. What are you gonna do about it?

Because there is absolutely nothing you can do about it! You can’t stop me! You say you will. But you can’t! Wanna know why? Because knows what the fuck can stop me! I am starting to believe that nothing in this whole world can stop me! And I know for damn sure that some fucking clown won’t be able to do it!

I am un-fucking-stopable!!

But still! I want you to try! I want you to stop me! Please stop me so I know that I am actually a human and not some demon from the underworld sent up to the world to cause pain and suffering for the living! Because I still can’t think of anything that can hurt me! I don’t feel pain! That can’t be normal! And there is nothing I won’t do to take out an opponent! You name whatever you want I will do it to you!

SWEAR TO GOD!

Whatever! And if I am in a really good mood come Heroes Also Die, I will take the fans’ suggestion and do whatever they tell me to! Because that is how nice I am! Whatever sick thing they can think of! I will do it!

And I will do it to you Jinx.

So I would really hate to be you Jinx. Because wrestling fans are some sick fucking bastards!

But then again.. Apprently I am just some fucking pussy

But hey! Takes one, to know one!

Fuck you Jinx!

You are a nobody and if I erase you from IWF come HAD, no one will fucking care! Why? Because you fucking suck! When was the last time you did anything worth mentioning?

Beat Jason Hawk?

Wow! So impressive! Wait... When was the last he was any good? World War Tour 20 and fucking 10! Yeah! The guy has sucked for two whole years now! And the sad part? He is the biggest name you have beaten! Congratioulations!

Can you just hand over the belt right away now?

Because we both know that at the end of the day I am going to be standing over your broken body! I will be victorious and go onto great things will you slowly but surely fade into the forgotten’s book. So enjoy your last hours as champion. Come next week you will have nothing and no one will care for the name Jinx.

Your 15 minutes of fame are almost up and the clock is ticking. I am coming for you Jinx.

And there is nothing you can do about it.

But how can I be so sure of this? Well...

I am no hero.





Oh! And one last thing! Shadow Demon and Knife To Know You were waaaaaay cooler than you!