Dead Confessions

Chuck Matthews: "Forgive me father, for I have-"

Father Paul: "Sinned? Surprise, surprise. What did you do now, Chuck?"

Chuck frowns.

Chuck Matthews: "You know, that kinda ruins the seriousness of the situation."

Father Paul: "As if you care. When do you take things seriously?"

Chuck glances over. Through the screen, he can see the silhouette of Father Paul, sitting in his seat, clutching a rosary in his hand. It was hard to believe only two years ago, Chuck had broken the man's nose, proclaiming his allegiance to Salvation. Since then, Father Paul had become somewhat of a friend. A confidant. Someone Chuck could talk to and feel at ease that he wouldn't be judged.

Chuck Matthews: "Can I continue?"

Father Paul: "Please do."

Chuck Matthews: "It's about Ashley."

Father Paul: "You slept with another one of her friends?"

Chuck frowns again.

Chuck Matthews: "....no."

Father Paul: "So what happened?"

Chuck Matthews: "I've met her father."

Father Paul: "Her father?"

Chuck Matthews: "Her real father...the man that had left her in foster care. I met him."

Father Paul: "Interesting. What's he like?"

Chuck Matthews: "He's...a good guy, actually. I think I expected him to be this cold-hearted asshole...I guess I expected something different, since he had gotten rid of Ashley...but no. I don't know."

Father Paul: "Have you spoken?"

Chuck Matthews: "At length."

Father Paul: "And?"

Chuck pauses. Part of him didn't want to share this with anyone else. He had in fact, spoken with Ted Borden for quite some time. Learned what had happened. Ted had married Amy Thompson when he was young. She was already pregnant with Ashley. They were happy together…but Ted was working late nights at a factory that manufactured car parts. It was a steady job…but wasn’t enough to raise a family. When Ashley was born, they were forced to give her up for adoption…a choice that strained their marriage ever since, and was one of the driving forces behind their divorce nine years later. The divorce wrecked Ted. He didn’t lose much in the case, but with his marriage in tatters, his life descended into a downward spiral. He lost his home, being forced to move to a run-down house outside Miami, though he still had his job at the factory. He had seen Ashley on the news one day, standing with Chuck in Chicago, and had saved the money to head there, hoping he might see his daughter. Chuck had lied, though…and sent him on a wild goose chase. He hadn’t seen Ted since.

Chuck Matthews: “And he wanted to see her.”

Father Paul: “But you lied to him.”

Chuck Matthews: “Am I a bad father?”

There’s a long silence.

Father Paul: “What do you think?”

Chuck shakes his head. This was one of those cases where he knew the answer, but didn’t want to say it. There was no questioning it. Chuck was a horrible father. He took so much pride in his family, called himself a family man…but truth was, he was cold. Uncaring. Apathetic. He did some terrible things in his life…and the sickest part of it all, is most of it, he felt no guilt whatsoever. He would do it again in a heartbeat. He would sleep with the O’Day sisters. With Ashley’s best friend. He would turn his back on his family. He would betray his friends, go it alone, leave everything he knew behind….just like before.

Right?

Chuck Matthews: “Yes.”

Father Paul: “Well…I would disagree. But if you feel that you’re a bad father, then I think that’s something inside your own soul that makes you feel that way. When I see you and Ashley, though…I see a daughter that loves you as much as a girl could love her biological father. I don’t condone your actions…but I believe you think, deep down, that you’re the best man for the job. You believe you’re a better father than Mr. Borden.”

Chuck Matthews: “But what if I’m wrong?”

Father Paul: “You know how to answer that question.”

Chuck nods. The only way he could truly know was to let Ashley choose for herself…but part of Chuck feared the result. If Ashley chose Ted…what would become of Chuck? Would she forget about him? Would the last two years have never happened in her mind? She was going back to the way things were, before she ever met Chuck?

Chuck shook his head. He couldn’t let that happen. Ashley was the closest family he had. Jessica seemed to be drifting from Chuck…but that was likely because of her own personal life. She was raising her own kids, and still making preparations to get married in a few months. Not much time to chat with her little brother while she had her own family to look after.

Zack had, once again, been shifted around. He was now living with Chris, after Chris and Jessica had decided that Chuck’s life was too hectic for Zack to continue living, and that Chuck was becoming a bad influence.


Jessica Matthews: “No.”

Zack Matthews: “Why the fuck not?”

Jessica Matthews: “ZACHARY MICHAEL MATTHEWS!”

Zack Matthews: “Sorry Aunt Jessica.”

Chuck stifles a laugh. It really wasn’t funny. But hearing Jessica freak out over something as minor as a cuss word was amusing to Chuck. Zack and Chuck were sitting in Chuck’s living room, the phone sitting on the coffee table. It was on speaker, allowing the three of them to talk openly. Jessica and Zack were arguing. Jessica and Chris had talked things over, and decided it was best if Zack moved in with Chris, away from Chuck….something Zack didn’t take too kindly to.

Jessica Matthews: “I hear you laughing, Charlie. That’s exactly the kind of behavior I was talking about.”

Chuck frowns.

Chuck Matthews: “Come on, Jess, let the kid grow up.”

Jessica Matthews: “I am letting him grow up. I’m very happy that he’s growing up. The problem is, you haven’t.”

Chuck Matthews: “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Jessica Matthews: “You know exactly what it means.”

Chuck Matthews: “Yeah, it’s you bitching and moaning about how I live my life, right? Seems to be all you ever do these days.”

Jessica Matthews: “You want to know why that is?”

Chuck Matthews: “Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do. Because last I checked, I make more money than either of you two, and when push comes to shove, I’m the one with the best financial stability to be raising ANY kids. But clearly, you think differently.”

Jessica Matthews: “You’re starting to sound a lot like mom.”

Chuck Matthews: “At least someone is.”

Jessica Matthews: “There’s more to raising a child than money! You need a nurturing family. You need people who will care for you, and teach you the right way to live your life. You need a father figure who DOESN’T BRING HOME A DIFFERENT WOMAN EVERY NIGHT.”

Chuck Matthews: “Oh for fuck’s sake, this again?”

Jessica Matthews: “Yes, this again! Corey and I are getting married soon. Chris is getting married soon. But you? You’re still running around like you’re still in high school! And the sickest part of it all is that I know you have no intention whatsoever of stopping.”

Chuck Matthews: “Well, at least you got one thing right.”

Chuck hears an exasperated sigh from the other end.

Jessica Matthews: “Fine, Charlie. Fine. Waste your life away. I don’t care. But I’m not letting you bring Paul’s only son down with you.”

Chuck is about to say something, but Jessica hangs up before he can respond. Zack and Chuck stare at the phone for a moment.

Zack Matthews: “Do I really have to go?”

Chuck sighs.

Chuck Matthews: “I guess so.”

Zack Matthews: “I want to stay here with you though!”

Chuck smiles. At least there was somebody who didn’t want Chuck to disappear off the face of the earth…

Chuck Matthews: “If your aunt and uncle talked this over…I guess they know what’s best for you.”

Zack Matthews: “This blows.”

Chuck smirks. That was exactly the kind of stuff Jessica hated about Chuck’s parenting. The fact that Chuck let these things slide. He rarely punished Zack for anything. To be fair, though…Zack had never really done anything worth punishing. Chuck wasn’t about to freak out about something as stupid as him saying “fuck.” It annoyed him that Jessica did it. In the back of his head, Chuck convinced himself that this may be the only bright side: At least he wasn’t stuck with his paranoid aunt. Chris had a good head on his shoulders…but Chuck couldn’t imagine Chris raising a kid. Chris was a businessman, and unlike Chuck, Chris took his job extremely seriously.

Chuck Matthews: “Yeah. It does. But you’ll be with Chris.”

Zack Matthews: “But he’s boring.”

Chuck laughs.

Chuck Matthews: “Yeah…but he’s a smart guy. I’m sure he’ll do a good job. Better than me, at least.”

Zack Matthews: “Will I get to come and visit?”

Chuck smiles.

Chuck Matthews: “Tennessee is pretty far from here…but I’m sure we can arrage for you to fly out to Chicago now and then…provided your aunt doesn’t throw a bitch fit.”

Zack smiles wide, and puts on his own version of Jessica’s voice.

Zack Matthews: “She’d probably be like ‘Zachary Michael Matthews, how dare you get on a plane! There are terrorists on those things, didn’t you see that 2001 attack? You should never ever fly anywhere unless I’m with you!”

Chuck shakes his head.

Chuck Matthews: “Your aunt is a psycho.”

Zack Matthews: “Yeah.”

Chuck shrugs.

Chuck Matthews: “I guess we better start packing your stuff. Your uncle will be here tomorrow.”

Chuck was alone again. Living in a mansion in Chicago…a four bedroom house, with one guy living there. What a life.

Had Jessica been right all along? Was Chuck afraid of growing up? Was his wild life just a way to cling to a youth that Chuck feared had passed him by? Chuck was successful. He was intelligent. He was one of the best in the world at his job. But…outside the ring…outside the office…who was he? He was a cold-hearted, selfish jackass who lived only to please himself. He lived to have fun.

Was that so wrong?

Chuck Matthews: “I need to go.”

Father Paul bows his head.

Father Paul: “I don’t want to tell you what to do, Chuck. But I will tell you what I think would be a wise decision. Tell your daughter. You’ll never know what she thinks of you until she has the chance to choose between you and someone else.”

Chuck thinks about this for a moment. Had that not happened countless times in the past? Choose between Nick and Chuck. She chose Nick. Choose Chad or Chuck. She chose Chad. Hell, even now, she saw Jessica more than she saw Chuck….it didn’t take an idiot to see who she would choose if she ever met her real father.

Chuck Matthews: “Thank you, Father.”

Chuck steps out of the booth, and slowly leaves the church. He sits in the driver’s seat of his car, and digs through the glove compartment until he finds a tape recorder. He presses the record button on it, holding it to his mouth.

Chuck Matthews: “I’ve met Ted Borden. The name should sound familiar. It’s Ashley’s father. Her biological father. I spoke with Father Paul today. He tells me I should tell Ashley about her dad. I know I should…I know it’s the right thing to do…but something in my head refuses to let me say anything.

Am I a bad father? I’m not married. I don’t plan to be. Hell, I haven’t had a steady girlfriend since Aubrey, and even that was based more on sex than anything else. There seems to be no end in sight. I feel like I’m in a rut…in my personal life, at least. Maybe Jess is right. Maybe this Peter Pan complex of mine is detrimental to my long-term happiness. It’s hard to describe. I think…..I’m in that position, where I feel like I should start to slow down. Everyone I know is getting married, or already is married, or has kids of their own. Then there’s Chuck, the guy who’s still sleeping with any woman he meets. Who has no intention of ever settling down. Fuck, my daughter was married and divorced before I managed to keep a girlfriend for eight months. Is that sad? Is that wrong?

I’m not sure if there’s any way out of this. I think….I might actually be crazy. I think I need help….but I know I’ll never get it. I’ll never seek it out.

And since nobody will ever find these tapes…nobody will bother to help me.

I cannot be saved. And yet….I’m just fine with that.”

Chuck stops the recording, and stares at the tape for a moment. He wasn’t entirely sure it made sense. It seemed that his recordings were getting more and more far-fetched. They were becoming less thought out, and were sounding more like the ramblings of a man who was slowly losing everything he held dear to him. Chuck was getting desperate…but for what, he couldn’t tell. He stares up at the church…and his eyes fall on a picture taped to his windshield. It was a picture of Chuck during his stay in the hospital. Ashley was there, her arms wrapped tight around Chuck’s neck. She was smiling….

She was his daughter. She was the closest family he had.

And he would never let her go.

Chuck Matthews: "When I look back at my career, look at all the things I've done, the championships I've won, the people I've beaten...all my accomplishments, my accolades...I trace it all back to one match.

Chuck Matthews vs Frank Hart.

Everyone sort of has that match. That one match where they go in, fight their absolute hardest, steal the show…silence all the doubters…but they still lose.

Frank Hart was that match for me. I remember that time, and I remember it well. I was the new kid in NLWF, fresh out of a successful run with RWF. I had never really left the Midwest before NLWF, except for a show or two in Los Angeles, or a short time in Canada where I competed for a friendly promotion…but other than that, my fans and my home was in Chicago. When I went to NLWF, I had a cult following. A bunch of fans who’d seen my work on the internet, wanted to see this kid signed to one of the big time promotions. Wanted to see the Matthews Spear on national television. Wanted to see me succeed.

I like to think I gave them what they wanted.

At the time, I was No Limit Champion….a belt I was awarded thanks to Death-Angel. I had defended the belt four times. Frank would have been the fifth. People were excited. Here was some kid, who had destroyed everyone put in front of him for his first month. He had lost an opportunity to become the Junior Heavyweight Champion. He had lost his chance to become the World Heavyweight Champion. He had lost his chance to become the first tag team champion…a decision which was later reversed…Now, he was holding a title he didn’t win. Yeah. I was awarded the belt. But people were noticing me. People knew I was no fluke champion. I had broken the record with that belt, becoming the longest reigning champion NLWF had at the time. Hell, the World Heavyweight Champion, who everyone thought was unstoppable, didn’t hold the belt as long as I did.

But, of course…there were the doubters. The guys that thought I was just some lucky punk. The guys that insisted I was trapped in the shadow of Brenton Cyrus. Insisted I was some paper champion. Insisted that I was forever stuck in the midcard, wrestling for half-pint titles like the No Limit belt.

Then came Frank Hart.

That was the big one, I think. The match that put the Chuck Matthews name on the map, cemented my status as a future legend of the business. That match opened the door for me...and I went and kicked that son of a bitch wide open. I lost the match…but I had proved to the world that when Chuck Matthews needed to step up, he was more than capable of doing so.

Something that I spent the rest of my career doing. Over….and over….and over.

But Frank, you seem to have conveniently forgotten that haven’t you? All you seem to remember is that first encounter. That first match. Did you forget what happened after our epic encounter? Yeah, you beat me…ages ago. Twice. Took the No Limit title from me....but then our paths took some very different turns.

Frank fell off the face of the earth.

Chuck accomplished everything there was to accomplish in NLWF.

And that's really all the reassurance I need that I have this match in the bag.

I mean, let’s break this down. We’re fighting at From the Ashes…the biggest event of the year. I think my track record speaks for itself. When the lights shine brightest…Chuck Matthews is the most dominant SOB there is.

RWF FightFest. The biggest event the company had. I went 6-0.

NLWF War Games. The biggest event THAT company had. 9-0.

IWF From the Ashes. The biggest event of the year…and I can tell you exactly what I expect to happen.

Another win on the Matthews belt.

What amuses me, Frank, is that you have this swagger, this confidence walking into this match, this delusional thought that you can beat me, simply because you’ve done it in the past. Hell, you even had the audacity to call the Smartest Man in Wrestling “unintelligent and absent minded.”

Amazing. You know what I find unintelligent and absent-minded? Conveniently forgetting the losses you suffered against the same guy you think you’ve destroyed in the past.

Or did you forget that I’ve beaten you more than you’ve beaten me? No? You don’t remember? How about a little trip down memory lane, shall we?

The Joe Santiago Hall of Fame Show. Frank vs Chuck. Frank wins, and takes the No Limit Title. 1-0 Frank.

Direct Hit 16. Frank vs Chuck II, in Chuck’s Law. Frank wins, and takes the Freedom Championship. 2-0 Frank.

And now Frank’s selective memory kicks in….and things get a little interesting.

Resurrection of Respect 2009. Chuck Matthews wins the Triple Cage against the likes of Mexican Samurai, Aaron O’Shea, James Shark……and Frank Hart. 2-1 Frank.

Revolution II. Chuck Matthews returns to in-ring action, and defeats Frank Hart in an I Quit match, thus terminating Frank’s contract. 2-2 all.

Couple of months later. Revolution 11. Tables, Ladders, and Chairs. NLWF Tag Titles on the line. Chuck Matthews and Nick Ridicule take on the Carnival of Violence, Corey Casey and Havoc…and Frank Hart and Rico Sutton…to become the new tag champs. 3-2.

Advantage Matthews.

I mean…take a look at the history books, Frank. Yeah, we had one great match. Back when I was first starting out. After that? Where did our careers take us?

Frank Hart was No Limit champion for a while...he won half the Universal Title in my absence...and that's pretty much it.

What did I do?

I became the first triple crown champion in that company's history. Hell, it was an achievement so great, I did it twice…Before anyone else succeeded at it once. I won the tag titles seven times, three of those reigns with people I hated more than anything. I won eight world championships. I won the briefcase once. I won three triple cage matches. I won a Live or Die match with the odds stacked against me. When you look at my career, you look back at the history books, what do you see?

When the lights shine brightest…when everything is on the line…when I have a chance to make a big impact, do something that hasn’t been done before?

I thrive.

Frank, after our first match, you felt that same pressure. You felt the same heat of the bright lights, the spotlight on your face. But when the pressure was on, you fucking buckled. Your knees gave out, and there you were, kneeling at my feet as I stood tall. Yet, you insist on saying that throne is still yours?

Then call this the Matthews Revolution.

You can look at NLWF if you’d like to know how the last one went.

See Frank…while I rose above the rest…while I won world title after world title, had one great rivalry after great rivalry, put on five-star match after five-star match…you fell. You disappeared. You faded away, for everyone to forget as they watched the future…as they watched ME take the royal ring from the cold dead fingers of your pathetic career. You want to talk about my fall from grace?

Motherfucker, my entire career since our match was me climbing higher and higher up the mountain, watching you slip and fall all the way down.

Whatever happened to that company, Frank? Did you miss that memo? Ever wonder why you’re here, getting another rematch with me in IWF, instead of begging Cyrus for a job in NLWF?

Because I took NLWF. I wrestled power, literally, out of the hands of the powers that be. I rallied the troops. I united them under one flag. And when Nick couldn’t handle the resistance anymore? When he tried to put an end to me? I left. And I took NLWF with me. New paint, new shrubs. Welcome to IWF, son.

I have become a legend of this industry. A true ring general. I’ve come a long way since that first encounter Frank. I’ve become a master of the game. I’ve mastered the art of manipulation. I’ve fine-tuned my in-ring tactics. I’ve formulated plans and schemes that would make your fucking head spin. I’ve fought impossible odds, and succeeded.

I've done it all…and I've won it all.

There's nothing that Frank's done in his career that I haven't done better. Nothing you can do that I can’t beat you in. Now, you’re walking into a match I invented and dominated. My match. My show. My company.

Manifest Entity? Meet the Hartbreaker.

At From the Ashes, that’s exactly what you’ll be. Broken.”