You don't love me, you just love my doggy style!

"Did I... Did I do it?" Lee asked.


The words filled the air and then disapppeared. It was about six in the morning and the whole house was sleeping. The whole house was sleeping except for Lee and his mother. His mother had just opened her eyes, she hadn't heard anything. Lee was wondering if she had heard him. They looked at each other. Lee was scared. He had been hearing voices in his head. He needed to know, he wanted to know, and he knew that his mother knew what had happened. He gave her a few moments to wake up a bit and realize what had been going on. Lee was very sick, he didn't know what was going on and neither did his family. This was the first time he had ever shown any signs of sickness. He looked at her again, as she raised up out of bed with the covers still covering her. She looked to the left and to the right and then into his eyes. She didn't know what was up with him.

"Did you do what?" She finally replied.


"I thought I did something... very very bad." Lee said.


She rose out of bed and yawned a bit. Lee was confused and was still hearing voices. They were the voices of someone else. It wasn't his inner voice, it was a voice of someone he knew. It was the voice of his step father, Sam. His step father Sam said that he had done something terribly wrong. He said that he had beaten up a woman that he had been seeing with a crowbar in the parking lot of his old apartment building. He thought he did it because she had been sleeping with someone else. That was true, he would later find out, but his mother reassured him that he didn't beat her with a crowbar because he'd be in jail by now. That was a good enough reason. He said okay and then went back down stairs to the living room. He took the time to pet his cat, Holly. Holly was a special breed of cat, she was a cat that would get limp in your arms. Well she was supposed to be like that but she hated being picked up. She would scratch you and cry until you put her back down on the ground.

He then went back down stairs, another flight of stairs to his basement where his bed was. He walked over to it and sat down on the edge of the bed. It was very early morning and Lee felt confused. He felt horrible. He really wanted to know why he was getting these voices in his head. He wanted to know why he thought all these things all of a sudden. They didn't stop, not even for a moment. Imagine for a minute that you lost your inner voice and it had been replaced by someone else's voice that you knew. This voice was someone you trusted to tell you the truth if you did anything wrong. The difference between Lee and a healthy person is that they had their own inner voice and they didn't have a voice putting them down or make them feel worried about things.

His mind started to run again. He remembered back at a house party that he went to. It was on Canada day, and it was beautiful out. There were birds chirping and there was a really nice breeze. He was wearing blue shorts and a white shirt. It was hot, but the breeze was great. He was heading to a house party just about a block away. After walking about fifteen to twenty minutes he made it there just in time for the beer to start flowing and fun just starting. It was great. Lee didn't have the best social life but being invited to a party, by an old bully of his. The old bully, named Kyle, wanted to make things better. He didn't want to live with being known as the guy who messed up a class mate.

He treated Lee like shit in school. He would flick his ears, pull his hair and generally just made him feel like a piece of dirt. This party though was a welcoming to Kyle's world of friends, beer and a few women. Lee liked all three, but could only get two out of the three. Or at least this point in life he thought he could only get two of the three. He had a seat and with his yellow grocery bag filled with about four beers, he started to drink. He was even offered some beer too, which he drank as well. This party was just a warm up to the big crazy party down at the marina. The marina was huge and there were tons of people there.

Once it was time to leave, we all walked up the road to the bike path. It was still light out and we walked slowly up the road to the bike path. With me, and my former enemy we chatted a bit, but we were so drunk, Lee doesn't really remember what they talked about. It took about a half an hour to get to where the Marina was. He felt great though and as Kyle waited to talk to his other friends who were at the tail end of the line. He figured he would have to waiti for them to catch up. He walked by himself and went way ahead on to the hughmongus get together.

All he remembers from this night is that he met a few random women and he would waltz into the other people's conversations and try to include himself in the group of people. He didn't know them but he didn't care.He was out to have fun. He made a complete ass of himself, or so he thought. He had to ask people if he ever got banned from the marina. Most people said he wasn't and there was nothing to worry about. He thought he got in a fight with a black man because he called him something very offensive. Basically he thought he was the biggest asshole ever and didn't care about the consequences. He still to this day doesn't remember what happened.

***

"That has got to be what happened. I must have well... you know." Lee said to his mother. His mother understood what he said but he didn't think that he did it. She said he wasn't even with her in high school, that he met her at the grocery store. She was right on the money with that one. She had to tell him that it was okay and he never hurt a woman like that when he didn't even know her at the time. He still thought that he did it, that it was him all along who hurt her. This is when Lee's mom said that they should probably go to the hospital. She said that there was something wrong with him and his brain. She said the voices weren't supposed to be there at all. The fact that he heard voices that scared him was enough for him to go into the hospital.





***



They didn't take him right away, but he did hear voices saying that going here he'd be locked up for murder, rape and everything else he seemed to think he had done. They sat him in a room with a couple of chairs and a stretcher. He was very scared. What were they going to do with them. As he sat there, he started to wondered when the doctor would come. What would he say to the doctor. Well what he did have to say was that he had verbal diharrrea. He told the doctor everything he's ever done. They were sworn to keep it a secret. I can share one secret with him. They asked him if he ever tried killing himself. He said yes. The doctor wanted to know what it was. He said that one night, when his female friend said she had another man, he snorted ten lines of cocaine. He wanted to do die, but he didn't. He just got realy really high. The doctor took some notes down. After what seemed like talking to her forever, she left the room to his mom and himself. His mom was glad that it was over with, she just had to wait for her to say what she was expecting to hear.

After about an hout of sitting there, they were told that Lee had skitzophrenia. Not really much of a suprise because of what he said. They were happy that someone diagnosed him. Now, Lee had to sleep in the room where they were questioned. His mother got to go home. This was Lee's first hospitalization. He wasn't impressed that he had to stay over night but for his own safety, and the rest of his family's safety, it was the right thing to do. Lee was pissed off, but they gave him a bunch of medication to calm him down and allow him to sleep.

***
When he woke up, he was in a different room, on a different bed. He wasn't on a gurney. He had made it to ward where the other in patients were. He looked to his left and there seemed to be no one else in there with him. He was alone at least, no one to bug him. It was as great as it could be until one morning when he was sound asleep, he heard his drawer open. The only thing that was in his drawer was his tooth brush and his tooth paste. He woke up and saw a man eating his tooth paste. Lee didn't give him much more munching time as he grabbed it away from him and then kicked him in the ass as he was walking through the door leaving. It never happened again.

***

It took him two weeks for him to get discharged from the hospital. He hated being there and he never wanted to go back. Every sick person was together. It wasn't like the other hospital where I went to that people were seperated. He liked that better. No one stole your tooth paste either so there wasn't much to worry about. There were different levels for different people. Most of them spent their time sleeping, so it wasn't that bad.

There were two televisions, one right in front of the dining area and then one down the hall in the living room. It was great. you could watch whatever you wanted without having to fight for the remote control.That was the best part. The next best part were the hot nurses that were there to help you. It was awesome, they were around my age which made it better. Lee liked his hospital stay, but hated his delusions. It was only a matter of time before Lee flipped out there as they were working on finding the right medicine for him. He started to pace down the halls and then he couldn't take it anymore. He grabbed a plastic chair and smashed it on the ground. BAM! It broke the back of it in half. Doing this wasn't the best idea, they sent every nurse over to try to calm me down. He rectantly took the medication and they were off to go work in the other wards where they came from.

Lee didn't like the ward that he was on. He couldn't understand that there was only television going on, on weekends. He thought that was the dumbest thing in the world. People who live at home are either on the computer or watching television and he had enough of it. He demanded to be put on another ward. He didn't care what ward he was put on. All he cared about was the freedom of watching television whenever he wanted.

The only good thing about that ward was that he could eat a sandwich any time that he wanted. That was the only perk. He would much rather watch something on television instead of being able to have a sandwich whenever he could. He was taken off that ward and put on another ward where they could do what they want. He was put on ward 2 on floor 2. This was the ward he had been put on when he first came there a year ago. All the old people were on that ward were gone so it was a new adventure with new people. Lee didn't want to talk to them. He didn't care if they were friendly or not, he just wanted to relax and get out of there as soon as possible.



When he finally got out of the hospital, he decided that he would put his life into professional wrestling. He hadn't wrestled before, and he didn't have any fighting skills like karate or judo. There was one thing though that could help him. He was extremely tough and took a hell of a beating. His body could take punishment, and his mind could deal with some messed up delusions. Thinking people were going to kill him, thinking that he was going to hurt other people or thinking that he already had hurt other people. It was hell, but at least he'd never been to jail or shot because of what the voices had said to him. He needed more help than he actually got.

***

Lee went home and tried to stay out of trouble. It was hard though. One night it got pretty bad when he smoked a joint with his friend Johnny. That's when sit hit the fan. He had been back to work, and he was working in the grocery department. He needed a box cutter to open the boxes. He still had it on him after a long day of work. He pulled it out of his pocket and started looking at his friend Johnny who was with him. He heard a voice in his head telling him to slit his throat from end to end. He took it out of his pocket and admired it. He was going to make his first kill. Then his friend turned around, as he had been walking a few feet in front of him. He asked Lee what he had in his hand. Lee explained except for the part where he wanted to slit his throat end to end. He now knew that smoking marijuana was a major hazard for him. Smoking weed made his sickness effect by a hundred percent. Lee let him look at the knife. Shortly after that he got it back and he would go home, high and dangerous as fuck.

He spent the remainder of the night thinking people were going to kill him, that he killed people and all sorts of things like that. It was brutal but he was able to hide from his parents. He just messed around on the computer for the rest of the night, tripping out. Weed really effected him and that was a huge loss to Lee. He used to smoke weed everyday with friends at his apartment. It was fun, but more on that in a different story. There is a lot to talk about when he was in his apartment. All that he can say right now about it, is that he's glad that part of his life is over. He doesn't want to go back and revisit it.Now living at his mom's and was away from that shit.

***

On another note, he can talk about how he got into professional wrestling. When he was sixteen years old, he was in high school. It was early in the school year that there was an announcement that there was a wrestling practice. Lee knew the guy running it, because it was Lee's brother's friend. They ran a wrestling show at the local fair and Lee badly wanted to be apart of it. This was after he dislocated his knee, so he couldn't participate. When it came for the show, they were short some people and they needed a referee. Lee volunteered himself to refereeing the wrestling shows that were at the high school he went to and the Junior high school. It was probably the greatest time of his life. He loved every minute of it even though he was super nervous about the whole thing. He met someone when he was there, someone who he had become friends with very quickly. It was the ring announcer for the show, The Voice. Lee disappeared for a few years from the local independant wrestling circut before running into him at a wrestling show that wasn't too far. It was Lee's second indy wrestling show and he absolutely loved it. He would go to all the shows, as the shows were biweekly in a town not too far from his town. More about this later.

***

Lee is here now in the Insurgency Wrestling Federation. He wants to destroy everyone who steps in his way for the Insurgency Wrestling Federation Heavyweight championship belt. That is his goal. He wants it so damn bad. He wants it worse than ever. He's jonesing for the championship and is hoping he will get it. Scratch that, hoping? He knew that he would get the championship around his waist. It would only be a matter of time before he had the championship around his waist. He wanted it, he needed it. He knew just what he'd do. Taking his medication is making him too calm, too relaxed. He was going to stop taking his medication so he can seriously hurt someone, so he could destroy someone in the middle of the ring. It's his time now. It's his time to shine. Fuck everyone else. If you're not with him then fuck you. If you are with him on his crusade to become heavyweight champion, well he doesn't give a damn about it.