Returning Empty Handed

Returning Empty Handed
Las Vegas, NV

They say you can’t fix relationships on your own. You need a marriage counselor or a relationship expert. They say you need to capture the essence that was lost. They always say these things like they are easy. Nothing is easy when you’ve lost what you’ve always had.

Nothing is easy when you lose love.

I was on my way to the airport. She called the other day and wanted to see Loca and I would let her stay in the house for a few weeks. I haven’t told her that Loca is gone. I haven’t told her anything, really.

She doesn’t know of my defeat.

Everything seemed like it was stuck on auto pilot. Even driving to the airport, I was just going through the motions. Why hasn’t she called? Was she even thinking about him? Those were just some of the questions that haunted me every moment of the day.

’I wake up and feel empty’
‘Shit make you wanna squeeze your Glock ’til it’s empty’
‘I’m already standin’ on the edge, so don’t tempt me’
‘Fake motherfuckers envy’

F.A.M.E by Young Jeezy plays from the empty seat next to me. I grabbed my phone and almost crashed. It was Loca, I couldn’t believe it. She was calling me. I press the Sync button on my staring wheel, I felt like god was answering all my prayers

..:: Robbie Hart ::..
’Vanessa … I … I can’t believe your calling me! I mean I’m thrilled, I just thought I lost you forever…’

I throw out my emotions right from the start. I didn’t care, just hearing her voice gave me renewed hope

..:: Loca Rocsi ::..
“Is it true?”

I could tell she was crying. It killed me knowing how much pain she was going through. But the question took me for a loop. I had no idea what she was asking.

..:: Robbie Hart ::..
’Is what true? What are you talking about Vanessa, is everything alright?’

..:: Loca Rocsi ::..
“Did you promise Cody the Unified High Impact championship? Did …”

Her words almost knocked the wind outta me. Did she really know something, or was she still fucked up by the drama?

..:: Robbie Hart ::..
‘What are you talking about Vanessa? Is this about what happened at the hospital?’

..:: Loca Rocsi ::..
“Just answer the fucking question Robbie! I want the truth from you for once!”

..:: Robbie Hart ::..
‘Is everything alright?’

..:: Loca Rocsi ::..
“ANSWER ME!!!”

I rehearsed this conversation a thousand times since I left Paris, this wasn’t what I expected. She was clearly pissed, I just wasn’t sure why

..:: Robbie Hart ::..
‘Vanessa, why would I ever do something like that? I worked so hard to get this belt unified; you know how hard I worked!’

..:: Loca Rocsi ::..
“This isn’t about the fucking title, I know what you did before Bloody Sunday! I know you made a deal with the devil that coasted us … ME are children!”

Shit!

..:: Robbie Hart ::..
‘I wouldn’t …’

..:: Loca Rocsi ::..
“You’re despicable Robbie, all I wanted was the fucking truth, and I you can’t even give me that … Cody told me everything!”

..:: Robbie Hart ::..
You’re listing to Cody Taylor? You’re taking his word over mine?”

There was no way Cody would pull a move like this.

..:: Loca Rocsi ::..
“He had my cell number Robbie, and you’re the only person who knows it inside the Insurgency!”

I had nothing to say. I was a bag of mix emotions. I felt angry I didn’t notice Cody getting Vanessa’s cell number from my phone. I felt regret for doing what I did, that one choice I made well forever haunt my dreams.

..:: Loca Rocsi ::..
“I can’t believe you Robbie! I hope Cody ends your miserable life inside the Isolation Dome! And you can bet your ass I’ll be front row center to watch him kill you, like you watched him kill MY daughters!”

Her words twisting the dagger of my sin. Would she ever forgive me for what I did? I was scared, I wasn’t ready. But I never knew Cody would take it that far

..:: Robbie Hart ::..
‘Vanessa … Please …’

She didn’t say another word.

I was pretty sure that might have lost her for ever …

I look out the passenger’s side window and see mothers and fathers walking with their children. I see mothers grabbing their children and kissing them on the cheek… a reassurance that they love them. Fathers grab their daughters hand as they cross the street. I see people come and go out of the airport as I wait for my mother to appear. I cleaned away the tears that were flowing from my eyes. Sitting there waiting I felt like my whole world just exploded.

I see a woman with two red bags walking through the doors. Her sunglasses accentuate her pretty face and her body looks firmer than when I saw her at dad’s funeral. I open my door and walk towards her and hold my arms out.

..:: Jada Hart ::..
“Robbie!”

She screams out and a smile lands on her face. I grab her tightly and I can smell her sweet scent. It’s been a while since I’ve seen my mother. We had a fallout after what happened to my father. Another sin to add to the collection.

I let go of her and get a good look.

..:: Robbie Hart ::..
‘Wow Mom, you look amazing”

I take her bags and put them in the trunk of the Lexus. I get on the drivers side and I can just tell what her thought is.

..:: Jada Hart ::..
“Where is Vanessa?”

..:: Robbie Hart ::..
’Well, I have to talk to you about that. See…’

..:: Jada Hart ::..
“She left you, didn’t she?”

Jada says and I just look at her through my Jeremy Scott shades.

..:: Robbie Hart ::..
‘Yeah.’

..:: Jada Hart ::..
“I had a feeling”

She says and my smile goes away. My mother can read me better than anyone.

..:: Robbie Hart ::..
‘I just don’t know what I’m going to do. I mean, I really fucked up this time. I don’t think she’ll be coming back.’

..:: Jada Hart ::..
“That bad, eh?”

She says as I pull out of the airport.

..:: Robbie Hart ::..
‘You don’t know the half of it!’

..:: Jada Hart ::..
“You know, I know a girl, her daughter who’s in colledge has always had a crush on you. Name’s Gabrielle and…”

..:: Robbie Hart ::..
‘Mom, let’s talk about that if she’s never coming back”

I hesitantly reply. Part of me wants Vanessa to come back. Part of me wants Vanessa to still love me. The other part…

…I don’t know.

..:: Jada Hart ::..
“Wow… Vegas never changes. I should come back here often”

She states as my mind runs wild. Now my mom has all these thoughts rushing through my head.

..:: Jada Hart ::..
Cheer up, how many women used to come back to you more times than I can count. How long have you two been together?

..:: Robbie Hart ::..
‘Two years…’

..:: Jada Hart ::..
”Two years, Robbie. You seriously think she’s going to leave you?”

She rattles off and as we stop at a stop light, I look at her. She can’t see my eyes but the blank expression I convey tells it all.

..:: Jada Hart ::..
“Man… it really was that serious.”

..:: Robbie Hart ::..
‘I’m responsible for the deaths of are children, me challenging her authority, and me basically not giving a damn about anything. It all just exploded in my face and I’m still cleaning up the mess’[/color]

I reply as we pull into the driveway of my house. Jada nods and her eyes grow large as she takes a look at the Hart Mansion.

..:: Jada Hart ::..
“My goodness… I love what you did with the place!”

‘This is still your house. Stay as long as you want’

I grin as she steps out of the car. Honestly, I could use the company. If I had to go another night without noise in the house I’d lose my mind. The other day I fought with myself because I was used to that noise. It’s really, really sad how people need certain things to function right.

I need the company of someone to function right.

I see my mother standing on my side of the door.

..:: Jada Hart ::..
“You gonna come out?”

She says and I just smile.

..:: Robbie Hart ::..
’Yeah… I was just lost in thought’

I proceed to tell her as I close the door on the Lexus. I look at the house and remember the times where Vanessa and I would be free for hours on end. We wouldn’t have a care in the world. I don’t think she’ll leave me for good. She’s in love with me… I think. And what if she isn’t? I can’t keep living in the house full of anger and hatred towards me. Because that’s what it is. She left me… not the other way around

Maybe I should just move on.

But I can’t. I simply can’t. I scratch the top of my head and walk to the trunk. I grab my mother’s suitcase and wheel it up the driveway.

..:: Jada Hart ::..
“So… what did you have planned for your mother while I’m here?”

..:: Robbie Hart ::..
’Honestly? I don’t know. You can go to the gym with me if you want. I’m sure guys will be all over you’

I jokingly comment and she just huffs at me.

..:: Jada Hart ::..
“Whatever Robbie. You’ll just get all mad because they’re checking out your mother.”

..:: Robbie Hart ::..
’True, but you’re a grown woman. You can handle your own business’

I say and those last few words ring in my head for a bit.

You can handle your own business

..:: Robbie Hart ::..
‘You know what you can help me with?’

I ask and my mother just looks at me as we stop at the front door.

..:: Robbie Hart ::..
’You can give me that girl’s phone number’

I say and open the front door to the house. Vanessa’s probably over me. Vanessa’s probably never coming back to me. I’ll never see her ever again. I need to realize this and move on. Hopefully this won’t be a problem.

I am potentially making a deal with the devil.

Hopefully she wears Prada.

♥ - - - ♥ - - - ♥ - - - ♥
♥ Returning Empty Handed! ♥
♥ ROBBIE HART’S EDITION ♥
♥ The Shoot ♥
♥ - - - ♥ - - - ♥ - - - ♥

As pathetic as it is, Cody can’t stop downplaying my abilities. He thinks I am some kind of joke he can run past on his way to some whack revenge tour. It doesn’t matter that I already beat him once, he keeps saying the same ol’ shit. No matter how many times he keeps coming back the outcome is the same.

Do I really need to do it again?

I’m tired of hearing Cody repeat himself. He’s really sounding like a broken record. You had your chance and you failed. That’s your fate, apparently. Deal with it. I’m tired of your thoughts that I have this title on dumb luck. I don’t think 100 plus days as champion is dumb luck. I don’t think that beating you, ‘the best’, is dumb luck. You can keep running your mouth and contradicting yourself and you’ll continue to stay one notch below me. You stated your case last month, and got nothing as a result. You told everyone that you would be the champion… and you’re not

Why did Brandon resign you again?

This entire war you've waged against me has been all about throwing me off of my game. Going through with are little bargain from me was the start, going as far as letting the cat out the bag to Loca, was unexpected. I'll give you credit. You got one over on me. I never expected you to be a snitch. I expect a lot of things from you, but that wasn't one. So congratulations; you beat me at my own game. You've got me feeling a little down and out. You've got me feeling out of my element.

You’ve taken everything from me, yet I still carry everything you want

How do you expect to win when your already running out of steam. Your mind is grasping at anything possible to use against me, and coming up short. You’re a broken man; your heart is heavy for what you did to Loca. The once untouchable Cody Taylor is nothing more then a sentimental bitch!

Add the fact that your returning to the UFC this weekend as well … Mang, you’re about to get rape in two cages!

When was the last time you had a match? When was the last time you stepped into the ring and did something physically? Bloody Sunday was it, Cody. You’re going to think that me fighting every week is going to give you the upper hand but remember what happened at Bloody Sunday

I’m more motivated than I’ve ever been Cody.

I’ve succeeded in causing you to lose focus. You’re overlooking the reality of this situation. I’m not overlooking anything. If I were, would I be champion? You’re overlooking my ability. You’re overlooking my dedication. You’re overlooking everything I’ve done. After it’s over, and when I’m a few steps behind you holding your bloody corpse for everyone to see, I’ll be overlooking your shoulder, grinning from ear to ear that I once again broken your dream of becoming a champion.

In the end this is what it comes down to. I’ll bring my unified Championship and you bring whatever pride you still got left. We can go through this whole charade of cat and mouse until I decide to eat you alive. Then what are you going to do, Cody? What are you going to do when blood is pouring from your nose to your stomach? What are you going to do when you see the flashing lights of the crowd taking pictures of your final fall? What are you going to do when you look up and see your worst nightmare peering down on you with his championship reign still in tact? You know what you’re going to do? You’re going to fail again. You’re going to fall victim to failure for the second time and the one who will be standing is ME.

Inside the Isolation cage …

It’s gonna be Déjà vu