Far From Home....

A Whole New World....

Starring:



Vincent Van Rose: The Main Man




Lori Ann Van Rose: Vinnie's Old Lady


Far From Home


Listen to this song as you read ...




Part III -- Far From Home .....

It had been a few days since my first IWF PPV, Bloody Sunday, and I didn't do as hot as I expected but I have definitely made my mark. The Irish/South group definitely made those Right Honorable Fuckers take stock of what they were up to, even though my new compadre Corey Casey lost his Title to that douche MacDonald. His bro was a tough customer in the Battle Royal, so I can only imagine a tussle with the older half of the "Farmer" Brothers as Chuck put it. All that and then there was still the issue of my loving wife making waves in our world by coming at me from Tennessee with all kinds of legal mumbo jumbo about what Tammy Wynette would have called D - I - V- O- R- C- E....

Vinnie: Baby girl, can't we just hold off on this mess til I get home. I am in fucking Canada for God's Sake....You know you miss Big Daddy....

Lori Ann: I have given you plenty of chances babe, and you just piss on me every damn time. What will it be next time a fucking groupie orgy I walk in on. I thought Bochephus would keep you in check, but you outran my roadblocks yet again.....I do miss you but a heart can only take so much Vin and you have mine a achin'.

Vinnie: But this shit is so .... FINAL! I may have fucked up... A LOT.... but you know I love you more than my babbling bullshit can say and you are still goin' through with this. I am sure Dwayne has tried to talk sense into ya ain't he??

Lori Ann: Dwayne?? Hell no I ain't even gone into the Nail...I am still at Momma's up in Hazard Vin. Nuthin' you or your lil runnin' buddy has to say is gonna change my mind babe. This has to be done and you know it. If I have my way I won't ever see Raccoon Hollow or that shit hole again. Too many bad memories....

Vinnie: Like the time you caught me with that red head and her twin sister, or that time the Goth chicks went and....

Lori Ann: Dammit Vinnie....This is what I am talking about, you have always run around on me and I shouldn't have to smack you over the head every time you step out on me. I am a catch and half the fuckin' South would love to have me on their arm. This is your loss not mine!! I don't care if your in Canada or friggin' Bumfuck Egypt, just sign the papers and get the fuck outta my life.....

Lori Ann hung up in my ear and the silence on the other end echoed like I had just yelled across the Grand Canyon. I thought talking it through like we always did would smooth over the waves, but if anything it made it worse. I just stared down at the divorce papers in my hand in disbelief and buried my head inmy hands as I thought about some of the good times Lori Ann and I had....

......The first time we met I was hitch hiking home to Hazard from Alabama after a particularly low paying gig and Lori Ann pulled up next to me covering me in a cloud of dust....

Lori Ann: Hey....Where you headed Tall Dark and Sexy??

Vinnie: Tryin' to get back to Hazard, Kentucky....My daddy ain't well....Goin' this way though I ain't gonna make it home any time soon. Care to give me a ride, beautiful...I can't give ya much, but what I got is yours....

.....She winked and patted the passanger seat and we were off, lil did I know it would be the wild ride it had been....

....Then there was the weekend me and her spent in California, before the whole mess in El Segundo went down...It was the best weekend her and I ever had and it was the last time we were truly happy I think. El Segundo changed us both and not all for the better......

I had to make her see that even though we had our hard times, the good far out weighed the bad....I laid the papers on the bedside table and punched up Dwayne on the phone.....

Vinnie: Hey D...Lori Ann has flipped her wig and filed for the BIG D, she caught me with some talent the other night and needs calmed down. Can you do your magic as usual bro??

I hear loud yelling and crashing in the background and a gruff male voice I can almost recognize askin' about where I was....

Vinnie: D...What in the blue hell is goin' on?? Who the fuck is tearin' up my bar??

Dwayne: Nuthin', Nuthin' at all what would make you think anything is wrong Vin??

Vinnie: WEll for starters the ruckus I am hearing that would be coming from our middle of the day folks....Ain't no one that rowdy this time of day.... Least of all cuz Bo is with me.

More thuds and crashes from the other end of the line and this time I hear the gutteral voice speaking Spanish of all things....

Vinnie: Talk to me Dwayne....What the hell is goin' on in that place??

Dwayne: It's Paco Vin, El Segundo has come back to bite us in the ass man.... I told you this would happen....Paco and his fucking thugs are here and they want blood ... Your blood.... I keep tellin' em you ain't here but they really don't give a fuck .... NO!!! OH MY GOD!!!! ..... ARRRRRGHHHH!!!

I hear a thud and the line goes dead for what seems like an eternity.....

Vinnie: DWAYNE!!!! Dammit answer me.....

Paco: Dwayne is a bit busy vato....He is being gutted right now by two or three of my hombres....He is gonna have to get back to later....Oh damn....Esteban just ripped his fucking head off man.... I guess he won't be able to chat after all, Burn this place down boys, then we ride!!!! You should have never fucked with us Van Rose.....

Vinnie: Paco you fucker.... I swear to God if you do... I will hunt you to the ends of the Earth, when I get a hold of you the shit that went down in El Segundo will be nothing next to the hell on Earth I am gonna unleash on you.....YOU HEAR ME!!!!

The Mexican laughs his gutteral laugh and I can hear flames crackling in the background....My beloved Rusty Nail was gonna burn to the ground and my best friend since God only knows when was lying dead in the middle of it....My face lost all color as the phone dropped from my hand, Paco's laughter still echoing in my ears.....That was it....I HAD TO GET HOME!!!!

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-- The Match--

Well, well here we are Hawk man. I had my sights set on that shiny piece o' tin you got there and the guy that held it in particular. But you had to go and come in and fuck it all up. Hell, you and I ain't got no quarrell....I even like your style. I wish I could flit and flip around the ring like your lil ass does but being a big guy, I just enjoy knocking lil fuckers like you outta the sky. See son, my plan is simple, clip your wings, knock you outta the air, take the shiny bauble off your hands and get that big ugly colored fella to come on after the Southern Sledgehammer. See when ya look at it you are just collateral damage. I do what I came to do and you go on your merry way...I heard ya lightin' up the Twitter feeds about holding on to that belt for a good long time, but honestly buttercup I am here to tell ya that ain't gonna happen....So here is the part in our lil back and forth where you go and insult my heritage, my mama, and everything else I hold dear. Let's see what ya got. Polish that belt up real nice for me Son...I am a comin' for ya....