Philip Joseph [vs.] Johnny Daniels [vs.] Alexander Raven

…just like that I made an impact. I told you I’d do it. DDT, springboard 450. 1. 2. 3. That’s it. Training week after week, month after month, and year after year. And then I get served up with pure shit from whoever the hell I just beat last week. But I’m in a triple threat this week. So that’s double the challenge. But, god forbid, if it’s anything like last week’s challenge, double that is nothing. But enough of last week. Last week was easy. Last week was a squash. Last week showed you the future of the Insurgency.





Who the hell is Kristal Thompson…and why does she have my number. More importantly, how the hell do I have her number? I mean, wow, she’s smoking hot…but who the actual hell is she? Honestly, it doesn’t matter who she is. She’s hot…


Johnny Daniels: Life is easy. Honestly, just look at the girls I sleep with. I travel by myself, I am the Lone Wolf of wrestling. No, not the pathetic waste of human being Leon, but I am a person who goes through life not giving a fucking damn what anyone else thinks of me, I’m the person who will make your life a living hell if you cross me. You will fall victim to the fucking Spirit one day…just not this. You see, I know how good I am. And I know how pathetic you are. Not just the men I’m facing tonight, but every single one of you pathetic people here on the Insurgency Wrestling Federation roster. Axle Vengeance, Johnny Cage, Corey fucking Casey it doesn’t matter who you are. You are all pathetic. I know I’m the best and I don’t need a couple of fucking wrestling wins to prove to you all that I am possibly, the greatest human being living on this fucking planet. This week, after I physically dismantle the absolute hell out of Phillip Joseph and Alexander Raven, you will all see how good I really am. I don’t care what you think, as long it’s about me. Most of you will forget me. Most people won’t give two flying fucks about who I am or what I do. But I tell you three people who will remember me for the rest of their pathetic little lives. Watson Brawley, the man I physically destroyed last week. You all saw it. Every last one of you. Except him. He didn’t see me coming. The other will be Phillip Joseph and Alexander Raven. In this weeks triple threat match, I will release the spirit on them for the final time in my career. Phillip Joseph, you are dirt. You and that pathetic team of wannabe’s you hang out with, the Empire. You are all dirt. Savage, Steel, Lockhart, Vengeance, Casey. ALL OF YOU. You are all the trouble in this joke of a company. You are what the spirit came to cleanse. But then the spirit realized that this company could not be cleansed. This company was in too deep. This company was literally like the Bad Company of the No Limit Wrestling Federation. That’s right, your enemy. I will destroy every last bit of the pathetic excuse for a champion you call Phillip Joseph. I will wipe the very grey canvas of the mat with his deep crimson blood and he will be finished. Gone. Finito. Nothing. He will be but another speck that the spirit attempted to cleanse the Insurgency of. And as for you, Alexander Raven, you will be beaten. You however, will not be finished. You, Alexander will be the one to leave on a stretcher, arms broken, legs broken, maybe your neck if you’re lucky. Every last person on the roster here, whether it be the IWF Champion Parker Wayde, whether it be the shitstain on the floor that is Watson Brawley, the whore that is Alison Williams, the hall of famer Brandon Macdonald. It doesn’t matter who you are, or what you do, or how good you are, you will be ousted. You will be physically and mentally destroyed by the spirit that I have left here in the Insurgency. I tell you all that this will be the last you see of me, Johnny Daniels, but I have done far worse than what you realize. I have placed the idea in your thick skulls that your pretty little world is perfect and that all you have to do is show up and wrestle every night. Wrestle for the fans, wrestle for the championships, wrestle for the glory. None of that matters in the real world, peasants. My life will not be wasted here in the company that is the Insurgency Wrestling Federation. My life will not be wasted here in the sport that is professional wrestling. My life, my awesome life, will not be wasted where there is clearly no potential for anything. The shit you see at Battle Grounds this week will be real. Not the scripted matches that they want you to believe. This shit will be so real…so real, you will be able to feel the blood on your faces as I tear open Phil…

???: Is it possible for you to shut the fuck up? You’re a disgrace to the wrestling business, you’re a disgrace to human life

Johnny Daniels: I thought…you…

???: You thought wrong. You thought very, very wrong Daniels. You and your pathetic spirit bullshit that you tried so hard to make everyone believe. All lies. All total bullshit you made up. Clearly, I taught you nothing. Clearly, the commentators here in the IWF are high as fuck. The next Brenton Cyrus? Oh, please. You couldn’t measure up to his fucking fingernail you utter piece of trash.

The man picks up a chair and hits Daniels over the head with it. He turns to face the camera and a shadow darkens his face.

???: This week at Insurgency Wrestling Federation’s Battle Grounds 64, I will make my long awaited return to the wrestling ring. I will be taking poor Johnny’s spot as he is clearly unfit to take part in this match.

The man stomps on Daniels’ head before placing the chair around his neck and stomping the chair closed.

???: Unfit to compete. There. It’s my turn now. Daniels, you will never set foot in a wrestling ring again. You may never walk again.

The man goes over to the fallen Daniels and snaps chairs shut on both ankles.

???: Your spirit has been cleaned, you maniacal fuck. It’s my turn now. It’s my turn to redeem every single one of your stupid mistakes however small they were. It’s time to assail every single person here in the IWF and make my presence known…the presence of the one and only…

The man steps closer to the camera, the face of TJ Tilli coming out of the shadows.

TJ: That’s right. It’s me. Not what you were expecting? Well guess what, I’m back. I’m bigger. I’m better than ever. I was the greatest Australian to grace the shithole that is the No Limit Wrestling Federation. I will be the greatest Australian to grace to heavenly plains that are the Insurgency Wrestling Federation. But not only that, I will be the greatest wrestler to grace the Insurgency Wrestling Federation. Oh, and Daniels, as for Kristal Thompson, that’s my ex-girlfriend. So have fun with my seconds…that is if you can walk.


So. G’day there. It’s me, I’m back. Afraid? You should be. You saw what I did to Johnny Daniels. You’ve seen me beat Jason Hawk, Brenton Cyrus and a shitload of other non-talented losers. It’s time for me to start from the bottom again, and earn the respect of every single person here. Firstly, I’ll start with Phillip Joseph. You’re…sort of…part of The Empire. Sort of…is that like the “I’m going to sort of kick your ass all over the wrestling ring” this week, or the “I’m sort of fucking your sister”? Clearly, you have no idea. Mate. Alexander Raven, you’re looking to get back to your winning ways. So am I, we are two peas…except I’m the better looking one, the more talented one, hell, I bet you I can dance better than you too. I’m here to make an immediate impact, and unfortunately you will be victim 1…or victim 2. It depends on who I decide to beat up first. Seriously. You will both reach your breaking points, and then I’ll push you further. I will be the toughest test of your career. I will be the hardest wrestler you’ve ever faced in the ring. You can count on the fact that the Insurgency will never be the same once I’ve walked in those front doors. So…are you ready Insurgency? Because I’m coming. The Australian Assailant is coming.

Assailant Out.

A look into the life of The Champagne Superstar

July 27,1997

Today was a rough day. Even though I never got to meet my real mother.. it was hard finding out that she had lost her war with drugs. I feel so empty inside right now. She brought me into this world and I was hoping that one day we would get to meet each other. Well my hopes and dreams have been shattered. I will never get to know her and it hurts. I have always wanted to run away and find her... try and rescue her so we could have a life together. Today I finally get to see her face, but not in the way I intended. Wish me luck.

September 9,1998

Well I got a letter today. It was from my dad. I have never seen or heard from him in the 11 years I have been around. I have so much hate for this man. I have hated him since the day I was born. This man abandoned me and my mother. He just left us and never said a word. Maybe if he would of stayed around we could of been a happy family. He wants to finally meet me. But I am not going to give him the satisfaction. He basically left me and my mom for dead. This man will never get to know me if I have anything to say about it. I will hurt him like he hurt me and my mother. This man is nothing but a dead beat loser. I never thought I could feel so much hatred for one person.

October 12,1999

So I got a phone call today. It was from a boy claiming to be my brother. I am in total shock right now. This can't be true. He knows my mothers name and has been searching for me for the past 7 years. How could this be happening to me? He wants to meet me, but Im not sure I am ready for this. I have all kinds of different emotions running through my mind right now. Either things are starting to look up for me or they are starting to slowly fall down around me. Well I am looking forward to the contact with my "brother" and hopefully soon we will be able to finally meet.

March 3,2000

Finally the day has arrived. Today I get to finally meet my little brother. We have been in constant contact over the last few months and today is the day. I don't know how to feel right now. My emotions are running high. I am excited and nervous at the same time. What if we don't mesh together? What if he hates me? All these questions keep running through my head. I am just anxious for today to be over. I really hope we get along and can be close. I have never had any real family in my life.

March 5,2000

Well that was fun. I got to spend the last two days with my little brother. Words cant even explain how much fun we had together. We got to know each other and spend a lot of time talking about our life's. Turns out he has had it just as rough if not worse then I have over the years. But hopefully that will change. We have a plan to get back together. We are going to plan our escape from these nasty foster homes. We are going to pack our bags and take off. I just can't wait to start this new life with someone I can call family.

April 17,2000

Well are plan has fallen through. We had all of our stuff packed and ready to go until we were caught. Today sucks because they decided to separate us again. I have never felt so much heart break and disappointment. They shipped him half way across the country to another foster home. And they are planning on sending me away as well. But I have another thing for them, as soon as I am done writing this I am taking my bags and hitting the streets. I will never be held back again. These foster homes can kiss my ass.

June 10,2000

On my way to find my brother. So all I was told was he was sent to Michigan. So I am on my way to find him, to rescue him from hell. I hope he is doing good. I kind of miss him. So traveling has been kind of hard. I have seen alot of weird stuff. And the people are fucking crazy. I just hope I can make it without giving up hope. I have been stealing food and hopping trains just trying to survive. Well back to the grind.

August 30,2000

So I finally made it to Michigan. Let to search begin. I haven't had any leads on where my brother might be. I have been searching and asking around and no one has been able to help me. This really sucks because I miss my brother alot. I have met some nice people along the way. They have shown me the ropes of being a drifter. I have had a few brushes with the law along the way but managed to weasel my way out. So today I am going to beat the streets and search for my brother some more. Ill check back in with an update.

January 19,2013

So last week I lost to a new up an Coming Ashe Corvin. All I am going to say about that is he got Lucky. Now that I am again a part of The Empire I am going to be unstoppable. I have a solid group of guys to back me up. I just can't wait to get my hands on Baron. Baron thinks he is going to walk around here like he is a badass well he has another thing coming. I am going to put an end to his existence. But its time to train gotta hit the gym and get ready for this triple threat match.

Getting ready for WAR!!!

The scene opens up and we see Philip in his locker room. He appears to be pissed off about his match with Ashe Corvin. He just keeps shaking his head and talking to himself.

Man what the fuck is wrong with me the last couple of weeks? I just can't seem to catch a break. First I lose my Uprising Championship to a chump like Sean Libby and now I lost to some no body Ashe Corvin. I don't know what is wrong with me. I haven't had this much bad luck since I was a little kid. I need to step my game up and show IWF and Corey that I belong here.

Philip gets up and grabs his phone. He dials a number and tries to call someone but it seems the call goes straight to voicemail.

Hey its your big brother, give me a call back when you get this I need some advice. Call me back A.S.A.P

Philip hangs up and turns around and realizes the camera crew is in his room.

Wow do you guys not knock anymore? Whatever anyways.... So last week Corey gave me a mission to eliminate Baron Blaze. Corey feels that I have what it takes to eliminate him from IWF and possibly end his life all together. With that said Baron I will be watching your match this week and will be putting together a game plan. You see Baron I noticed your facing a nobody this week. If your trying to prove yourself and prove you belong why would you face a jobber.Why not try and face a real challenge? Are you scared and trying to hide behind the jobbers to make you feel like your good or something. Well the truth is Baron you can't hack it here thats why your facing chumps and jobbers. I mean come on you wouldn't stand a chance against any of the real talent this place has to offer. Baron you better be prepared for what is to come. I am gunning for you and there is nothing you can do.

Philip laughs as his phone goes off letting him know he has a text he opens his phone and reads the text. He smiles and then turns back to the camera.

Anyways enough about Baron. Lets focus on this weeks match. A triple threat match against 2 up an comers Johnny Daniels and Alexander Raven. These 2 men are coming out this week and are trying to make a name for themselves at my expense. Well boys "News Flash" that is not going to happen. You see you guys are not even close to being on my level. Lets start off with Alexander Raven. Who the hell are you? I have never heard of you until I got an update on this weeks card. Are you new around here or are you just that bad that no one knows who you are? I don't know who you are but I do know that you have nothing on me and you wont last 5 minutes in the ring with the Champagne Superstar.

Philips laughs and gets a sadistic smile on his face.

You see Alex, can I call you Alex? Whatever I am going to call you Alex whether you like it or not. You are a nobody and I will prove to every one here in IWF you don't belong. I am going to do IWF and the fans a favor and eliminate you all together. So I hope your ready to meet your maker.

Philip runs his finger across this throat, mocking as if he was cutting the throat of Alexander Raven. He the lets out a sadistic laugh and focuses back on the camera.

Ok ok ok enough with Alex, lets look at my other opponent this week Johnny Daniels. The man who claims he is going to dismantle me this week. Let me ask you one question, are you off your fucking meds? You seem to have alot of spunk and like to run your mouth but what have you done here? Ooooo you beat some guy named Watson good for you.

Philip claps his hands mocking Johnny's win last week.

Johnny? Really what grown man calls him self Johnny? Thats almost as bad as Joey or Ricky. Seriously bro you should consider changing your name to John atleast that sounds somewhat manly and not like a little boy. Anyways this week you are in for the biggest test you have ever had. You see you can talk all the trash you want about me but the truth is we both know I am better then you. You have not accomplished half the things I have. You can walk around with your little buddy and talk all the shit you want. But come Battle Grounds the IWF nation will finally see you for the fraud you are. You claim you are just going to dismantle me and Alex this week. Well kid when you finally get back on your meds you will realize your playing with the big boys. So why don't you go and take your Xanax and come back to reality.

Philip beings to laugh hysterically.

Johnny and Alex I hope your ready to meet your maker because after our match this week you wont be the same "men". Actually I can't even call you men. You wont be the same KIDS you were before this match. You are stepping into that ring with The Champagne Superstar, The King of Betrayal and The Past Present and Future of IWF. So bring your A game Boys because I am coming for blood. I am going to prove to Baron that he has his hands full. Just remember this boys, I am the Best I am The Champagne Superstar and you are just bottom feeders.

Philips Phone rings and he answers it as he walks out of his locker room and the scene fades to black.