James Shark [vs.] Parker

SHARKYKINZ IS BACK BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sharky steps into an IWF ring once again to take on Parker! This is going to be one for the history books, folks! Make sure to tune in!!!!

Rumors are circulating around the wrestling world that James Shark is ready to call it quits with the No Limit Wrestling Federation and its owner, Brenton Cyrus. The rumors started a month ago when James Shark signed with the Platinum Dynasty Wrestling and since then, many from inside James Shark’s circle have come out to say that the signing with PDW was caused with James Shark losing interest and motivation with the NLWF.

James Shark was recently removed out of NLWF’s upcoming Pay Per View: One World Nation, he was set to take on NLWF Rookie Miguel St. Claire in a Last Man Standing Match but was pulled off the card and replaced by Nick Ridicule.

Many people already believe the rumours to be indeed true as there has been a number of superstars and divas leaving the company.

When James was asked about his singing with the PDW last month, he told the world that he signed with the PDW because he wanted to remain very active in the sport of professional wrestling and that it would bring the best James Shark out of him. If the rumours of him leaving the NLWF are true, many fans are anticipating him to replace the NLWF with the IWF in order to make an epic return.

(The words “Epic Return” began to echo over and over again as the scene fades)

4:25PM –Hollywood California–NLWF HQ– Saturday May 11th 2013

James Shark: Yo bruh

The scene opens up in NLWF HQ, aka Brenton Cyrus’s one bedroom apartment.

Brenton Cyrus: Sharky! What’s up man?

Brenton Cyrus welcomed Shark into his apartment and pulled up a seat for him.

James Shark: Uh… nah it’s cool bruh, I’ll stand, you might want to sit down for this shit though. Cause I got some bad news. Well no… I lied, it’s good news for me, bad news for you.

Brenton frowned his face, looking all suspicious.

Brenton Cyrus: What’s up man?

James Shark: I’m working in PDW, they ain’t got no biweekly motherfucking schedule like SCW did, they on week after week bruh, and these shows for NLWF is a pain in the ass to have on my schedule. I mean… nobody fucking watches NLWF anymore, we have like what? Four fucking members on the roster? We don’t even get half an arena filled and people don’t even buy the Pay Per Views. It’s just a waste of time to be in this company, my motivation is gone.

For a moment, all they did was stare at each other. Brenton had no emotion as he stared into James Shark’s eyes. Finally, after a few seconds of silence, he gave in a comforting smile and put his hand on Shark’s shoulder.

Brenton Cyrus: No worries Sharky, I saw this coming. The doors are always opened for you if you want to come back.

James Shark: Yeah… I ain’t gonna want to come back…

Again with the silence as Brenton just stared at Shark.

Brenton Cyrus: Well… that’s fine too. Your leave won’t be a big blow to the company because you haven’t done anything since February.

James Shark: The fuck you talking about? I main evented Warrior Games just a few weeks ago.

Now Brenton was obviously frustrated and had nothing to say to counter Shark’s fact.

Brenton Cyrus: Well.... it’s going to suck but I trust in my guys to have my back, Robbie Hart, Hostyle Jones and Psycho.

James Shark: NLWF ain’t gonna survive with three fucking members bruh, and neither of these three are any draws to the sport. Ain’t nobody wanna see those fools.

Brenton Cyrus: Are we done here?

James could sense the anger in Brenton’s tone, for some reason he was obviously trying to keep his cool and hide his anger from Shark. James slowly nodded his head in response.

James Shark: Yeah

Just as Shark said that, Brenton walked right past him, opened the door and looked right at Shark, motioning for him to leave his apartment.

Brenton Cyrus: Shoots then…. Peace out

James Shark: Stay butthurt my dude

As James Shark walked out, Brenton slammed the door behind him. James began to walk down the hallway towards the elevators. Suddenly, his phone began to beep, as he pulled out his IPhone, he noticed that he had gotten a text message, then another, and another, and another. Brenton was sending these messages all at once, one after the other.

Brenton:
Yo I was thinking about it and everything that I’ve done to help you out over the
last year and a half or so and I gotta say that I’m disappointed in you dude.

Brenton:
I always had you pegged as a man of your word and when you said you had my
back, I had trust in you, hell it even turned me on a little bit.

Brenton:
You were there when Alison left me alone on Valentine’s Day, you were there
when Chuck came into the NLWF and ruined my fucking plans along with Jason
and Brandon. You were there when Corey Casey flat out embarrassed me on
Twitter. With everything that has been going on with me and running the NLWF
while holding your hand, helping you out nonstop, I thought for sure whenever
I needed you to step up for NLWF you would.

Brenton:
This has just happened far too many times with you. Don’t ask me to name
another time because I can’t and I won’t. I just realize I can’t count on you.
You never helped out the fed other than the first week, then all you did was
look out for yourself and Brooklyn.

Brenton:
You don’t have to worry about this because the door is shut this time dude,
and I know that you said you wouldn’t come back anyways but just know that
IF you did… I wouldn’t let you.

Brenton:
The only thing I can count on you for, is to pull some shit like this

Brenton:
It’s why I cut ties with Corey, Chuck, Brandon and Hawk.

Brenton:
Because you can’t be counted on to watch anyones back but your own.

Brenton:
There was so much more you could have done for NLWF and just never got around
to it because you would rather twitter non fucking stop.

Brenton:
What have you contributed to NLWF? Tell me, please enlighten me you fucking nigger.

Brenton:
You do more for everyone who treats you like shit.

James Shark scrolled through the messages over and over again with a look of disbelief on his face.

James Shark: Is this motherfucker serious right now?

*Ding*

The sound of the elevator door rung in Shark’s ear as it opened in front of him. He stared at the empty elevator trying to decide his next move. Instead of going inside, he watched as the doors slowly closed, that’s when he turned around and began to walk back towards Brenton’s apartment door.

James twisted the handle and noticed the door was unlocked, he quietly pushed the door open and invited himself back into Brenton’s place. Looking around, he didn’t see Brenton anywhere, but then he noticed the lights in the bathroom on and the door closed. He then realized that Brenton must’ve been tweeting from the washroom.

He quickly kicked the door open to see Brenton on the toilet reading the newspaper, Brenton quickly looked up at him.

James Shark: Surprise motherfucker



--

“TROLL ALERT LOL!!!! OBVIOUS TROLL IS OBVIOUS, EL-OH-EL!!!! James Shark back in IWF? Yeah fucking right.”

That’s what all you white folks be saying. Every time those three letters even came up in an interview, I was so quick to shut down that question with two simple words: “Fuck No”.

I made it clear that I wanted nothing to do with IWF, I made it clear that I would never ever come back and sign with the company. I told the world that they would just never see me work for them ever again.

You see… not a lot of people really understand the “beef” that was James Shark and IWF. Motherfuckers be thinking it may have had something to do with some backstage politics and what not, but nah.

Check this out,

I was on top of the company. I beat everyone they put in front of me. I ran through the whole fucking roster. They were giving people rematches over and over again because I just couldn’t be beat and they had nobody else to put me up against. If a new person signed with the company and racked up a few wins, they instantly put that person in front of me.

They all failed.

Not only was I defending and retaining my IWF Championship, but I was doing the same thing with my Tag Team Championship. These so called “challengers” just weren’t “challenges” to me. I was holding two titles at the same time, and technically holding three.

Remember when I just said that they were giving people rematches?

Well guess who was the one guy that was the most undeserving of those rematches? Yuko Shemaleora, see, he has a really fucked up name and that’s why he goes by “Steel Angel”, but even Steel Angel is a stupid name, he just hasn’t been told that yet.

But going back to his real name, last time I checked Yuko was a girl’s name. The dude’s parents either hated him or thought he was a bitch so gave him a chick’s name.

But damn… mans are getting carried away in this little introduction thingy. Let me stop the hate and continue with this story…

Ahem..

So any who, this motherfucker had to have gotten like what? two rematches against me? I beat this guy in EVERY SINGLE MATCH. They weren't one on ones but the the worst part about that is he got pinned in every single one, knocked the fuck out in every single one.

“But YOU PINNED ME, so I wasn’t knocked out Shark!”

Man shut the fuck up, why didn’t your bitch ass kick out? Cause you were motherfucking unconscious. Why was your bitch ass unconscious? Cause you were motherfucking knocked out.

Damn, there I go again, let me continue….

While this dude was getting these rematches, he had a briefcase. That briefcase was that one special briefcase which allowed you to be able to face the champion anytime and anywhere. Steel Angel held on to that briefcase so damn tight yall. It was the biggest thing he had ever won in IWF at that time, and it was really the biggest accomplishment in his entire career as a wrestler back then.

His biggest prize in wrestling yall, a damn briefcase… times are rough for an American dude with a Japanese girl’s name.

Anyways, one day this bitch decided to act his age and be a man. He came out to Battle Grounds with his chest all up in the air and his head all high going “I give up the rights to my briefcase. I trade in my briefcase rights for a Main Event Championship Match at the next PPV”

Now yall will have to excuse me here cause I ain’t remember what fucking PPV it was, either way, this dude gets the Main Event, no more briefcase rights, the contracts get made, the contracts get signed, and Steel Angel has himself an undeserving Main Event Championship Match against the Champion who had already beaten his ass far too many times.

The PPV comes around, and ya boy Sharkypoo is chilling backstage talking to some hunnies. I think I was chatting it up with Rosalie Knight all like “Yo Rosa, I’m working on a porn site, wanna be in the first video?”

Before gyaldem could answer, BAM!, out of fucking nowhere yall, I get jumped by a bunch of faggots led by Chad Mason. There had to be like six of them, a six on one beat down. I could’ve handled them and beat the crap outta all of them but I had a boner…. Like I had a big fucking boner when I was talking to Rosa then those lames just caught me off guard.

Once they did their number on me, Steel Angel came about. This dude came over holding his fucking briefcase in the air, some random ass referee came out of nowhere, probably came outta Steel’s ass, the reff makes the count, ding ding ding.

NEW IWF CHAMPION. Steel fucking Angel Ladies and Gentlemen.

Now I know this may sound made up, cause “Steel Angel as a World Champion? Really? Get the fuck out”, nah homie, I’m serious, and it really did happen….once upon a time.

Long story short, I confront the IWF about it before our scheduled main event match and they tell me there’s nothing they can do about it. I tell those fuckers about the contract we both signed but NAHHH, they wasn’t helping me out, but yet…. They still wanted me to fucking go out there and give them a Main Event.

I walked out of the company. I said fuck this, fuck that, fuck your PPV, fuck your Main Event, and enjoy Steel fucking Angel as your Champion.

Of course Steel didn’t manage to even defend the title once, but there you go ladies and gentlemen. For those of yall that didn’t know why Shark left IWF, there it is.

I told Interviewers that IWF used me and that it was really over with me and them. So what now right? Why is James Shark back? Why has the great black Shark returned?

Unfinished Business

I got a problem with Steel Angel, the UECW Fuckers that came over (Except for Jaci, your retired anyways but man I will put my face in between your buns) and Parker Wayde.

I got a problem with those people so let’s make the match happen, let’s make these matches happen, and hell, why not get my #1 spot back in the IWF charts? Why not get the championships back that I truly never lost?

Why not? Why not? Why fucking not?

Monday May 20th 2013 , the day some unlucky fucker will be pit against James Shark in his IWF return, putting him into deep waters and making him Shark Bait. May GOD be with that poor soul, but we all know… even GOD can’t save a dude from a Shark Attack.

Orlando Florida, yall in for something special.

Let’s get it.

--

9:55AM – Los Angeles California – Confidence Gym & Training Center – Monday

How good it felt to be back home, and I wasn’t talking about IWF, I was thinking about where I was right now. Right here in my gym. The loud blaring music filled up the room with energy and I missed being here.

I hadn’t been in this gym for two weeks and I blamed my hand injury for that. Two weeks ago I had injured myself training for a match up in PDW. Me being the person that I was, I came into the match anyways, not only that match, but my championship match in NLWF.

What was the reward for not pulling out of those two matches and stepping up like a man?

Two straight losses, one in NLWF and one in PDW, my PDW winning streak broken and my NLWF Undisputed Championship taken away by a hoe, HOEstyle Jones to be specific

I didn’t give a fuck about the losses, I really didn’t. Everyone knew I was injured and there was NOT one person who rubbed the losses in my face. People knew that the outcome would’ve been different with a healthy James Shark, and it was whatever to me.

What I cared about was getting back into that ring. Even though it was only two weeks, it felt like two years waiting for my injury to clear.

When I took those matches injured, I only knew that things would go bad. My confidence was low and I didn’t feel like I was better than my opponents due to that injury. My feet were flat, my footwork was off, my punches were sloppy and my head movement was nowhere to be found. I couldn’t stuff any take downs and I couldn’t get off on my shots.

If someone could compare the James Shark that was in those two matches, they could compare it to the 2009 James Shark. The James Shark that came into the sport of wrestling with no wrestling experience and no match experience. I looked that bad, I felt like shit, and I was shit.

Now that I was healthy, I was hungry and I was motivated, I just wanted to fucking fight.

As everyone around me trained, I was here sitting down on the edge of an empty ring. I had my Iphone in my hands just scrolling through the email I had got from IWF this morning. I had gotten several emails from the IWF as we both went back and forth. The first email I had gotten was pretty much a “Welcome Back Home” email, in that same message, there was a list of plans and directions in which the IWF already had setup for me. They gave me a list of current top dogs in the company and they wanted me to make sure I got what I wanted.

I had already asked for a specific person, even begged for that specific person and was told that they would give me that person, so I was guessing that this email was pretty much a confirmation email. Kind of like asking me if I was “sure” about that guy.

There were a bunch of names on this list though…

Alex Dillinger aka Axle Vengeance? I was expecting more resistance and much more of a challenge when we faced off in NLWF. Surely the dude had to be injured or some shit, a rematch was definitely in order, but would a rematch be appropriate for a Battle Grounds Main Event? A match like that should be some From The Ashes type shit. The only thing that had me tempted to take it was him being #1 contender.

Alexander Remington? I’d take him on too, but on Battle Grounds? Same problem with Dillinger, it didn’t really interest me, plus Remi hadn’t looked so impressive as of late.

Gordon Fury? Up and coming, young and talented, the High Impact Champion? Well how about his name gets brought up when he’s holding the WORLD title, how about his name gets brought up when he’s not “up and coming” and he’s just “the best” in IWF?

That’s who I want to face, the best. I always wanted to face the best guys.

All these names really didn’t give me much excitement. Steel Angel? Overrated, people like Sean Libby and Storming Raven? Not even close, Ethan Cage? Not impressive, Molly Reid? Bitch is gone.

I ended up replying to the email telling whoever it was to just give me anybody. At this point I wasn’t in the mood to pick any other matches and plan out my return. They could put anybody in front of me, and that person would lose. Plain and simple, point blank.

There was a specific person I had asked for and actually BEGGED for, but at this point, I didn’t see that match happening anyways, so it really didn’t matter who they put me against.

It didn’t have to be one of the best, it didn’t have to be one of the rising stars, hell, it could even be a fucking low carder. All I requested was for it to be in the Main Event.

I think I deserved that, I think I very well deserved that main event spot. I did it all in IWF, every single thing. I was double booked in shows, I wrestled when I was injured, I fought all the guys they wanted me to fight and on top of all that, I got the most accomplishments in the company. There was no doubt that one day I’d be going down in the IWF Hall of Fame.

Six emails later with this person and the person I begged for was the person I got, it was just re-confirmed….. Parker fucking Wayde

James Shark: Fuck yes… this nigga Parker, he’s done.

Voice: Why… hello there

A sexy female voice caught my attention and interrupted my thoughts. As I looked up, there was a woman in front of me, an interviewer, behind her, a bunch of camera men. I looked her up and down biting my lips as she smiled back at me.

I was waiting for an Interviewer who scheduled a meeting with me. I told her to come early because I really wanted to spend the rest of the day training, and now it seemed as though she had finally arrived.

James Shark: Why hello, hello, hell-motherfucking-o, it’s Alyssa right?

To be honest , I really didn’t want to do this interview. Some friends told me that I should just get it over with, dozens of reporters had tried to get one with me and with good reason, there was just so much to ask. I decided to listen to my crew and go ahead and book one, that’s why I picked a sexy female interviewer. This girl looked a lot sexier than the picture she had up on her website.

Interviewer: Uh… no haha, my name is Amy Castro but James Shark, it’s been a pleasure to finally get to meet you. I appreciate the opportunity; I’ve been trying to sit down with you for a while now.

She extended her hand out towards me as I shook her hand gently then brought it up towards my lips and kissed it. Amy flashed me a weird look on her face and let out a laugh before rolling her eyes and freeing her hand from my grasp.

Amy Castro: It’s nice to meet you James

I nodded my head at her and gave her a little wink.

James Shark: Pleasure’s all mine girl, so you said you’ve been waiting to sit down with me for a while now huh?

She nodded her head smiling.

Amy Castro: About a year now actually, but hey, here I am with you now and I’ll get to do just that.

I tapped my legs, motioning for her to sit on my lap.

James Shark: Get on top honey…

She let out a loud laugh and shook her head smiling, playfully slapping me on my arm before sitting beside me. I shrugged my shoulders.

James Shark: My legs be more comfortable but suit yo’self.

As I checked her out, I could tell that she was ready for this interview, she was even holding her microphone. The only thing she was waiting on was her camera crew, but from the looks of it, they looked just about done setting up.

Amy Castro: Hey…

She gently reached out and poked my arm as I looked over at her.

Amy Castro: Is there anything you DON’T want me to ask you or do you just not care what I ask? I’ve seen quite a few of your other interviews and I just don’t want to make the same mistake those other interviewers did you know?

James Shark: You good girl, ask me anything you want.

She flashed me a smile

Amy Castro: Alright

Turning to her camera men who pointed the cameras at us, she waited for the signal and got it as one of them raised their hands and gave her a thumbs up. Just as that happened, the red lights came on, on both of the cameras. They were recording and this interview was now starting.

Amy Castro: Hey wrestling fans, I’m here in L.A in one of the best gyms in the country, the Confidence Gym and Training Center, and I’m here standing by with one of the most confident men in the sport, he is the former NLWF Undisputed Champion and former two time IWF Champion. James I have to ask you…. Why? What happened? All the talk of you saying you will never come back and now… here you are.

I already felt like a big idiot for coming back to a company that I felt back stabbed me by screwing me out of retaining my championship but also felt like an even bigger idiot for not backing up my talk and going against my promises of never re-signing with the IWF. With that being said, I didn’t want to answer that question, so yeah, I avoided it.

James Shark: Yo Alyssa girl…

Amy Castro: Amy

James Shark: Yeah, Alyssa, you have no fucking idea man. You have no fucking idea what I’m going to do to Parker Wayde Monday Night. I am gonna bless that nigga with an ass whooping in so many different ways that a lot of people will REALLY think wrestling is fake after Monday Night. They just won’t be able to believe what Imma do to that nigga, they ain’t gonna think it’s possible.

She slowly nodded her head

Amy Castro: You are facing Parker Wayde? I didn’t know that.

James Shark: It’s the Main Event

Amy frowned her face, almost as if she was surprised that it was the main event match. I paid her reaction no attention.

Amy Castro: Well obviously the two of you have a lot of history, but before we get to that, James you’re returning to the IWF why? In your promo you released the other night, you said some reasons but ultimately, there’s a lot of us out there that think it’s more than that.

James Shark: Yo I really want to humiliate that nigga for real. I want to make him cry like a little baby, and at the end of the day, that’s what he is, a fucking baby, a whiny little bitch.

Amy Castro: Um… James bu-

James Shark: Hey yo, you know how babies got them pacifiers and they wear them cause they won’t stop sucking on their thumb? Well Parker wears one of them pacifiers cause he can’t stop sucking on his own dick. The dude is so full of himself, it’s like bruh… shut the fuck up, you couldn’t even beat Cody Taylor.

Amy raised her eyebrows at me looking a bit confused.

Amy Castro: When did he have a match with Cody Taylor?

James Shark: Yea, easy to forget about it when Cody Taylor is legit a no-fucking-body. You know what else Cody is? Cody Taylor is a poor man’s James Shark. The dude tries so hard to be exactly like me and Parker got bitch made by that guy over in PDW.



Amy Castro: Well speaking of PDW, you are signed with the company and after your NLWF departure many of us thought that you would just stay in PDW, but instead, you made the decision to re-sign with the IWF, allowing yourself to be contracted in two wrestling companies at the same, can you please tell us why?

Jesus Christ, this chick would not give it a rest, trying to change the subject wasn’t working, so fuck it, the bitch was gonna be ignored. I grabbed a plastic cup filled with Coke that was beside me and began to drink up, making loud slurping noises with the straw.

Amy Castro: James?

She stared a hole right through me and continued to try and get my attention.

Amy Castro: Um… James Shark?

Turning over to her, I flashed the cup at her and shook it right in front of her face. Showing not only her but the camera that it was a KFC Cup.

James Shark: I LOVE me some motherfucking KFC.

Amy Castro: And no disrespect but I would LOVE for you to answer my questions about returning to the IWF and your reasons behind that.

James Shark: I mean, yo, do you know why I love KFC so much?

Amy Castro: Ugh, Jame-

James Shark: No, it’s not because I’m black you fucking racist, it’s because I’m a NIGGER, and motherfucking niggers love they chicken.

She slowly looked over at the camera crew but they signaled her to keep on going with the interview. This shit must have not been a LIVE interview, because if it was, the cameras would have definitely stopped rolling. They were obviously going to just censor my words while editing this tape.

Amy Castro: I really don’t know what to say here…

James Shark: Good, then shutup and listen and let me educate yo ass

Amy Castro: Wait what? Educate me on what?

James Shark: What makes KFC so good you ask? Well first off its hand breaded, it’s food for thought, it’s fresh, it’s grain fed and you could taste the difference….

Quickly I turned to face the camera and held up two thumbs up with a huge smile on my face. The interviewer, Amy was just so confused at this point. She just didn’t know what to do anymore.

James Shark: I love KFC yo, I can legit jizz on the chicken because of how good it is. I mean you know how you get that mouth-watering feeling? Not me, I just jizz. I can jizz on my chicken and still eat it. I give it more flavour and shit.

Amy Castro: Dude… what the hell?

James Shark: One day I was trying to jizz on the chicken, Brooklyn came in and was like, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I was like, jizzin on ma chicken yo, and she was like, DON’T JIZZ ON THE CHICKEN, JIZZ IN MY MOUTH! So I was like aight.

Amy looked over at the camera men once more, but again, they just encouraged her to keep the interview going. I was notorious for stuff like this. Weird comments, sometimes even homosexual comments. I was just notorious for fucking around with interviewers and making them feel awkward and uncomfortable.

James Shark: After I busted in her mouth she swallowed like a good little girl, now maybe Parker can take some tips from my girl Brookz. She can teach him how to swallow cause all Parker does is choke, choke, choke, choke…. The guy is not a fucking professional wrestler, he’s a fucking choke artist!

Now Amy seemed to be a little bit more interested in this interview as I brought Parker’s name back up.

James Shark: That’s the difference between me and him, I’m a knockout artist, he’s a choke artist. You see his last four matches?

Amy Castro: He lost them

James Shark: Damn fucking right he did

Amy Castro: Well actually one was a draw

James Shark: To a damn chick yo, come on now.

I shook my head in disappointment, I pulled out my phone and went on Twitter, looking at my timeline for a quick second. That’s when I saw one of Parker’s tweets. He must’ve gotten the news.



Amy Castro: Female wrestlers are just as good as Male wrestlers, it just depends on who it is, and Blyss Lockhart has incredible talent.

I took my mind off of the tweet even though It bothered me, I looked up at Amy and responded to what she had just said.

James Shark: I ain’t tryna hear all that bullshit. Sure, female wrestlers are just as good as some males, even better than some males too. We can sit here and talk about how every chick in the sport is 100x better than guys like Stefan Raab, Ryan Apollos and Matt Rydell, but Parker? For all the shit that guy talks? For how cocky he is? For the accomplishments he has? To what? To just lose to Blyss fucking Lockhart?

Amy Castro: It was a draw not a loss and well-

James Shark: Well nothing yo, his lame ass has a HISTORY of losing to women anyways! Are we all forgetting about the IWF Uprising Championship? Vanessa Cade fucking smashed Parker, and when I mean “smashed” I don’t mean that in a sexual way, we all know Parker’s a virgin. When I said “smashed” I meant it in a “she kicked your fucking ass” kind of way, and that’s exactly what Vanessa did to Parker. Didn’t she like… THROW HIM OFF OF A LADDER?

I began to shake my head in disappointment.

Amy Castro: Hey but, you bring up his last outings in the ring but others defending Parker could say, “Well James, you lost your last two matches”, what do you say to that?

I sat up and leaned closer towards Amy, getting comfortable.

James Shark: Check this out motherfucker, I was injured my last two outings, I wasn’t cleared to perform. The doctor be like “don’t” and I be like “nigga please”. I took those matches when I should’ve pulled out, what’s Parker’s fucking excuse? I lost a championship match injured and I lost a match injured to a hall of famer… whoopty fucking do, who’s parker been facing? Jaci Sovereign? Steel Angel? Aries Armadaist? Flex Johnson? Blyss Lockhart? These people SUCK!

Amy Castro: Steel Angel is a former IWF Champion, Jaci is a Hall of Famer, Johnson is a veteran of the sport, Aries is-

James Shark: Chill Alyssa, look, these people all fucking suck, and I’ll say it to their face without blinking. Parker Wayde losing to a bunch of sucky ass wrestlers and now he in the Main Event? Come on man, and this guy makes a tweet saying that it looks like “they” are giving out free Main Event spots? YEA, IT LOOKS LIKE THEY ARE YOU DUMB FUCK, BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN THE MAIN EVENT? I’m a motherfucking IWF original dog, I been here since Battle Grounds number ONE, the debut show. I cleaned out the fucking roster and I left with a controversial loss, since then, I have done nothing but jump through company after company and beaten the best.

Amy Castro: Blyss Lockhart and Jaci Sovereign, aren’t you friends with those two?

James Shark: Yo, those be my hoes, ma two favorite white girls straight up.

Amy Castro: But…you just said they suck?

James Shark: I hope they fucking suck, hell, I hope they suck real good. I wonder if they deep throat too…

Now it was Amy who began to shake her head. She shook it in disgust.

Amy Castro: You know that’s not what I meant

James Shark: Well when I said they sucked, that’s what I fucking meant. I didn’t mean to include them with the rest of the other people that Parker faced when I said “sucky ass wrestlers.” Them girls got talent, but I bet in the bedroom they fucking SUCK. Can you imagine two fine ass girls like that sucking on your dick?

Amy just stared right into my eyes for a moment as there was an awkward silence.

Amy Castro: No James, I can’t… I don’t have a-

James Shark: But I do, twelve inches bruh. Let me close my eyes and picture them sucking on it real quick.

I was about to close my eyes but Amy opened her mouth.

Amy Castro: But…how about Brooklyn Carter?

I shrugged my shoulders

James Shark: What she gonna do? Say I “cheated” on her in my “dreams?” , yo how much you wanna bet Brooklyn Carter be dreaming about taking it up the ass by some "dreamy" playgirl cover boy?

Amy Castro: Um…

James Shark: You know what? Nevermind, fuck you, now let me imagine Blyss and Jaci doing a tag team with they mouths on my penis.

I slowly closed my eyes as Amy frowned her face. Both her and the camera men just watched me as I began to quietly moan, showing signs of pleasure on my face.

Amy Castro: Oh god… look, can we just talk about what will go down this Monday Night on Battle Grounds please?

Quickly, I opened my eyes and postured up.

James Shark: Battle Grounds this Monday Night is being sponsored by KFC.

Amy Castro: Is it really?

James Shark: HA! Sike! I fooled that ass, now you got to suck my dick for real.

Now Amy just seemed to be extremely frustrated, she took a deep breath and lay the microphone down onto her lap, looking right at me.

Amy Castro: Look James, like I said I’ve been waiting to get this interview for quite some time now and this is something I really need. You’re making it out to be a complete joke, I’m not enjoying this at all. I’m going to look like a fool once all of this gets on the internet… and that’s if I even include everything! If we edit this interview and cut out all the clowning around your doing it would only probably be thirty seconds…

James Shark: Damn baby girl chill, chill. It’s all good

Amy Castro: No damn it, can you work with me here? You hadn’t done anything media related for a good two weeks now, you didn’t promote your last two matches at all so why can’t you just co-operate and promote this one?

James Shark: I done kept it real, said what I had to say

She picked the microphone up from her lap and got into her interviewing mode again.

Amy Castro: And your return to IWF? Why? How did it come to be?

I shook my head all annoyed

Amy Castro: You said I could ask you anything.

James Shark: Look, I done said some nasty shit about the IWF on numerous occasions, but at the end of the day, IWF was the company where everybody saw the rise of James Shark. I returned to the sport and took it by storm. Before IWF, who the fuck was James Shark? An over-hyped , un-talented wrestler with heavy hands and bad cardio. I was a joke and I started right in the very bottom in the IWF. Went from low-card to mid-card to motherfucking main events. IWF was the company where the world saw James Shark evolve.

Amy Castro: Yes James, but on top of all of that you also won every championship in the IWF except for the Pheonix Championship and the Uprising Championship. Which is really impressive because one title was for the divas, and the other title is honestly for the low cards, it also got brought in when you were already a world champion. That is really impressive.

James Shark: You damn right it is

Amy Castro: But my point is, what is there left for you to do? Sure you can win your titles back but what’s next? What happens after that? You just defend it over and over again? Some people just don’t see the “point” in a return to IWF. You’ve done everything in this company already, practically broken every record. Most consecutive wins, tied with most title defenses, first ever triple crown, first ever Grand slam, like..

James Shark: Look you not getting it. IWF is my home, so I’m here.

After thinking about it for a quick second, I quickly frowned my face and shook my head at Amy

James Shark: Actually, no. It’s not my home, it WAS my home. I’m here to make it my home again. IWF used to be the deep waters man, it used to be Shark Invested and not safe to swim in. Ever since I left the waters haven’t been deep and if anything, it turned into a damn kiddy pool all together. UECW Fuckers came out of nowhere and brought some life back to the company and Parker became triple crown and grand slam JUST BECAUSE I had already softened up the competition before I left. I made it easy for him to get those accomplishments. Since I left, the IWF hasn’t been my home, I made new homes, but like I said, I’m back to making it MY territory. May 20th in Orlando Florida, I’m gonna do a motherfucking HOME INVASION in the IWF. I’m going to take back my home and I’m going to take back my fucking name.

Amy Castro: Your name?

James Shark: I don’t feel like motherfuckers fear me no more in IWF, I don’t feel like they respect what I bring to the table anymore over there. I’m going to bring that respect and fear back, I’m going to bring my name back into the IWF. After Monday Night, James Shark will be a name in the IWF locker room that motherfuckers don’t want to say anymore. Ain’t nobody going to be calling me out, ain’t nobody going to be cracking they jokes at my expense, ain’t nobody going to be doing all that shit.

Amy just stared right at me as slowly nodded my head

James Shark: When it’s all said and done, IWF will be going back to BEING James Shark. It’s going to be a second name for the company just like last time. My first run in the IWF was good, my second run was great, my third is going to be LEGENDARY.

Amy looked over at the camera crew then back at me. They signaled over at her as she looked at the camera wrapping things up.

Amy Castro: Well there you have it ladies and gentlemen, James Shark, prepared to make his IWF return one to remember as he takes on Parker Wayde this Monday Night!

--

Alright, alright, alright… yall know the deal. This is the part where I sit here looking sexy as hell, spitting some real talk aka Trash Talk Royalty at my opponent.

Now before I do that, let me go ahead and give out my shoutouts. Now yall know I always do this every promo, but this one’s special, we back in IWF now so whoever I shoutout, is one of the cool kids in the Insurgency Roster and I ain’t got nothing but love and respect for them….

Shoutouts to Brooklyn Carter

I love you and would really appreciate it if you would just come holla at me after my win and stick ya tongue down my throat as far as possible and swirl that slimy lil thing all up in there. French kiss thang, kissy-kissy, let’s make it happen

Shoutouts to Blyss Lockhart

From now on, IWF is the Sharky and Blyssy show. I hear she’s dating Gordon Fury, hopefully she’s not cause a sexy white girl could do a lot better. Either way, she’s got that Pheonix Title and I don’t’ give A FUCK if Dillinger is #1 contender or if Ethan is champion, I’m getting my belt back. She gonna hold onto her title, ima hold onto mine. We gonna fuck shit up every Monday night.

Shoutouts to Elizabeth Terry

Why the fuck are you losing your matches with bitches DOMINATING you? (Shakes Head) You only getting a shout out cause you my home girl, but damn, how about a win to represent?

Shoutouts to London Carter

Brooklyn’s brother, familiar face in wrestling but new face to the IWF roster. Wrestling’s most talented and popular FAG BOY in the house. I already know the dude got talent and he’s one of the top stars in the game today. I know most of the locker room’s just gonna make excuses on why they DON’T want to face him… “oh he’s gay! He gonna suck my dick in the ring! , he gonna tickly my balls! Blah blah blah!” to be the best, you gotta fight the best, and London Carter is one of the best.

Now that I said some extremely nice shit about Brooklyn’s brother, I expect that I get some type of reward from the queen, miss Brooklyn Carter… , maybe we try anal again? We tried it once but she didn’t like it…

Shoutouts to Remington and Dellinger

I mean me and Dellinger are definitely going to throw down and have that rematch cause I felt like the dude was robbed but until then, how can you not respect a motherfucking warrior?

Shoutouts to…um… shoutouts to… (rubs chin)

Yea… I really don’t think there’s anyone left. I mean, I guess I can give a shoutout to Flex Johnson cause he got some swag on him… and he’s a nigga but other than that? Yea…. No.

So let’s get this shoot started with shall we? A little bit of Trash-Talk-Royalty, why not?

I would love to say, James Shark vs Parker Wayde, Black on Black Crime, but unfortunately that fake rockstar diva looking faggot, Griffin Hawkings is more of a black man than Parker will ever be.

Let’s talk more about Parker Wayde…. Parker Wayde, that’s a goofy ass nigga right there ladies and gentlemen but most importantly, that’s a screwed goofy ass nigga. The IWF really screwed him over on this one big time. The IWF tried to cover up this mis-match by putting him in the Main Event. They wanted this nigga to be blinded by that spotlight.

I’ve been in THIS spotlight hundreds of times, he hasn’t. We know this.

We also know how his promo is gonna go. He’s not only predictable in the ring but he’s predictable on camera also. Dude is gonna get all up on his promo talking in third person like he likes to do. “Parker is going to do this, Parker is gonna do that”

No.

Listen motherfucker, Parker ain’t gonna do SHIT. The only thing that Parker is going to do is lose. That’s the only damn thing Parker will accomplish in this match. He’s going to lose and he’s going to lose horribly. It will be the biggest loss in his entire career as a piece of shit-overrated wrestler and if anything, it will be the biggest loss in the history of wrestling.

Motherfuckers are going to think that nigga just died, he ain’t even gonna wake up. I really think I will hit him so hard that he just…WON’T wake up. Goofy ass nigga is gonna be laid to rest for years.

Yall don’t get it, I have so much hunger and motivation to knock this fucker out, it ain’t even funny.

I find him to be the most annoying dude I have ever met in my twenty four years of my life as a young gangster. I find EVERYTHING about him to be annoying. The way he talks, dresses, fuck, even the way he looks.

Does anyone else stop and think…. Yooo how the fuck did this motherfucker grow all them muscles overnight? This dude woke up with his neck the size of what his head used to be.

(Looks right into the camera)

Steroids ain’t going to help you my dude. Ain’t nothing going to help you or save you from what Ima do to you Monday Night.

You cut your afro off, went bald, grew some muscles, and now you think you grew them balls. Them balls still petite and if anything they grew smaller due to you juicing up. At least we can still count on your wrestling to be amateur, because that’s what it is and that’s what it always will be.

IWF Grandslam and Triple Crown Champion you say? Holding all the same titles I held in IWF you add? Doing it QUICKER than me you throw in there?

Well you ain’t faced no damn competition homeboy. You beat up a unmotivated, out of shape and out of his prime Stygian and lost to a sack of shit in Robbie Hart. As a matter of fact, you lost to a lot of crappy dudes. You talk mad shit about Steel Angel, but didn’t he beat you? FAIR and SQUARE?

Yeah, he did.

Speaking of beating people, I’m glad we’re having this fucking match.

I begged Jessica Matthews for this match, did you know that? I literally begged the bitch. I got on my knees like a little bitch and I BEGGED her for you. I was hungry for this match man, I don’t even get on my knees to ask Brooklyn to marry me!

I wanted this match more than a match with any other dude on the roster, I wanted it more than a fucking championship match.

Like, I don’t know if yall are getting this through your head, but I didn’t even get on ONE knee, it was TWO. I was on two knees in Jessica’s office with my hands wrapped around her legs, yelling her name out and doing nothing but begging and begging and begging, over and over again.

Even after she said yes, I was like…

Are you sure?
Are you positive?
For real?
Is this official?

I wouldn’t even leave her office until I got an answer that was 100%.

Yall may wonder… “Why? Why did James Shark want this match so fucking bad? It’s only Parker” In fact, most of you will think that I wanted this match because it’s an easy win and I’m just cherry picking. That ain’t the case, I wanted this match because I HAVE to beat the guys that beat me.

It’s an absolute must.

It doesn’t matter if somebody beat me while I was injured, it doesn’t matter if they beat me when I wasn’t healthy, it doesn’’t matter if I came in and I wasn’t on my a-game. It don’t matter if I wasn’t ready…if they have a win over me… I have to beat them.

That’s how I am and that’s how I’ve always been. Anthony King beat me In NLWF, so I came back and I beat him, knocking him the fuck out. Corey Casey beat me in IWF, so I came back and I beat him not once, but twice.

I have to beat the motherfuckers who beat me, I don’t have to just defeat them, I have to destroy them and leave no room for a rubber match. I have to beat them so bad that they don’t want to do it a third time, I gotta beat these dudes to the point where they’ll take their ass whooping and shut the fuck up.

That’s what the goal is tonight. Tonight it’s about “humbling” Parker Wayde and shutting his annoying ass up.

He has a win over me, he has a win over me in NLWF. It was at the Pay Per View Battlelines.

Four teams, six on each? I don’t fucking remember. Either way, my team had no talent at all. I had two commentators on my team along with Hostyle Jones and other dudes. Parker Wayde was on a team with greatness. On his team was the one and only Brooklyn Carter alongside MAFIA.

All Parker Wayde did the whole night was hide behind his squad, at one point I got tagged in and he was legel, he landed a few good shots, but the reality is, he hits like a bitch. I ate those punches no problem, and by the end of the match, everyone had gotten eliminated except for me.

I was the last man standing with MAFIA in front of me. Nobody in Parker’s fucking team got eliminated. It was like 6 on 1 but I still fought those fuckers, and you know what? I knocked Parker Wayde the fuck out.

It went from 6 on 1 to 3 on 1. I was chopping those numbers down until I just couldn’t keep on going. My body was starting to feel numb, my feet were moving slower and I was just gassed. I got pinned by one of the other people BUT Parker…. Was STILL knocked out unconscious out of the ring.

Yet… he went on Twitter to sing “I BEAT SHARK, HOLY FUCKING SHIT GUYS, I DID IT, I BEAT HIM, PARKER WINS, SHARK LOSES”

Holy shit, did that annoy the crap out of me.

How the fuck are you going to brag about a win you didn’t “really” win? I mean your damn team had to wake your ass up and help you to your feet, you were over there holding your chin going “What happened? Did we win?”

We’re finally going to have a one on one match and there won’t be no flukes. You won’t have a whole team to hide behind and it’s just going to be me and you homeboy.

This one on one match is one year in the fucking making and as soon as that bell rings and that sexy ass white girl announcer spits my name as the victor, you’re going to be out for a year. The same time it took to get this match to finally happen will be the same amount of time your third person speaking ass is finally out of the game.

No more of your ugly face on TV, no more of your whack promos with ya squeaky voice, no more Parker period.

Shoutouts to the homegirl Elizabeth Terry, I gotta quote her on this direct message she sent me a while back….actually nah, let’s just printscreen this biatch.



BAM!

Is she right or is she right?

I mean this goes back to what I was saying before, this ain’t no damn black on black crime and no matter how many black dudes gonna be in IWF, ain’t no black dude gonna steal my shine or fill in my footsteps that I left behind. Those are some big motherfucking footsteps to fill and ain’t nobody gonna be able to fill them except me.

I’m the first ever black EVERYTHING in IWF.

First ever black IWF Champion, first ever black IWF High Impact Champion, first ever black IWF Tag Team Champion, first ever black Full Throttle Champion, first ever black man on an IWF poster, first ever black man in an IWF main event… hell first ever black man on an IWF show.

I don’t want you fools to go “oh well that’s cause back then you were the ONLY black man in IWF” , hell to the nah my nigga, there’s been a lot of homies that came into the IWF but ain’t none of them were able to do it up like me.

I will go down into the IWF record books and hall of fame books because the ONLY fucking “black man” that has had SOMEWHAT of the success that I have had is Parker.

I will go down into those record books because I’m going to defeat Parker Wayde tonight, and when that’s done there won’t be no comparing Parker to James Shark because the fact is, all they’ll have to do is go back to our match and see how easy I made that win look.

It’s going to be another point for the bad guy and another win for the record books.

Don’t forget to Block Me on Twitter at @TrashTalkRoyalT and don’t forget to put yah #MoneyOnSharky