Oops, I did it again!

The scene opens up in a small bathroom. Steam fills the room and it is hard to see very clearly. The camera comes closer and we see a pink shower curtain. From behind the curtain we hear some singing.

Voice: I'm a Barbie girl...in the Barbie world...wrapped in plastic...it's fantastic...

Camera Man: *Ahem.

Voice: Aiiiieeeeeeeeee!

Camera Man: Sir, we are here for your IWF hype video.

The curtain pulls open and a masked head pops out.

Masked Man: Uh, call me Lord Jaguar. By the way you are like an hour early. We're supposed to do this at 1PM.

Camera Man: Actually, the interview is for 1PM Central Time.

Lord Jaguar: Damn! Flying in from Japan always screws up my sense of time. Oh, well. Hand me that towel, unless you want me doing this in my birthday suit.

The camera man hands Lord Jaguar a white towel with a undistinguishable design on it. Lord Jaguar wraps the towel around his waist and he steps out of the shower. The towel's design is no revealed to be an exact duplicate of the mask Lord Jaguar is currently wearing.

Voice: Take a look IWF fans and superstars, this is what a real wrestler looks like. Lean....cut....and with just the right amount of hair on his chest. I mean, you don't want to look like a gorilla, but you also don't want to look like a pre teen boy. Am I right?  Anyway, I'm not here to discuss manscaping...unless you want me to. Because I could tell you a bikini waxing story that will make you cringe....

Where was I? Oh yeah, this is what a real wrestler looks like. You see, unlike the rabble the IWF is used to seeing, I am dedicated to my craft. I live wrestling, I breath wrestling, I am wrestling! Now, I'm not saying that the IWF doesn't contain any talented workers...au contraire mein fraulin. Ha, ha...who else do you know would mix French and German? The IWf does have some solid talents, but not a single one even begins to approach the level I am sitting on. Not a single one of them could even fathom how good I am. Whether it is diving off the top rope of working over a leg on the mat I can do it all and I can do it better than anyone has ever done it.

Now, I'm sure you have heard gloating and boasting like this before, but allow me to assure you all I am doing neither. I am that damn good. The Japanese call me Ichiban Akuma Gaijin, Number 1 Foreign Devil, because I am that damn good. The Mexicans call me El Gallo Negro del Ring, The Black Rooster of the Ring, because I am that damn good. In Canada they refer to me as The Immortal Mask because I am that damn good. Zeven Zion, one of your own, calls me The True Comeback Kid because I beat him like a dog and took his name. You see, I am better than anything you have ever seen and anything you will ever see. IWF fans you have been blessed with my presence. IWF workers, you have been given notice. Quit now, or prepare to get destroyed utterly and completely!