-Cryptic Thoughts-
So, losing fucking sucks. I know it kind of goes without saying, but it does. I’m not gonna have a mental breakdown or anything like that, but getting your shoulders pinned to the mat, followed by the sound of the other guys music playing, its a terrible feeling. Last week on Underground wasn’t my first lost, and it sure as shit won’t be my last, but it still doesn’t stop me from feeling shit about it, especially because of how close I got to being the first Underground champion. I know I sound like I’m feeling sorry for myself. and I am, but fuck you, these are my thoughts and I can do with them whatever I want. But the show does go on, and I’m just going to pick myself up, dust myself off, and earn my way back up to try again. And this time, I won’t fail. But while I fell short of my goal, Gordon Fury, my best mate, did not. And he wants to celebrate that fact. God help us all.-Cryptic Chronicles-
Ok so I will admit, I wasn’t exactly keen for going out tonight. I mean earlier in the week when Gordo asked me I kinda was, but losing the Underground title match to Dean Vandal kinda put a sour note on the whole thing. Still, I’m here for Gordo, not for me, so I suppose I should at least pretend to have a good time. I am standing at the bar waiting for a bartender, as Gordon is next to me doing his signature “12 shots in 12 seconds” routine, surrounded by the general populace,. He is so drunk I am pretty sure at this point you could replace me with a broom and he wouldn’t notice. Anyway, the bartender comes over to me and all but puts her tits on my hand as she leans over the counter.Bartender: What’ll it be darlin’?
I glance at Lea out of the corner of my eye, sitting at a round table in the corner of the room, and I’m pretty sure if looks could kill, this lady would be taking a swan dive into a drink, drowning herself. Chris Cryptic: Ummm... Can I just grab a beer and a...
I look over at Lea and mouth “what do you want?” and she shrugs.Chris Cryptic:Make that two beers please.
She rubs her tits on my arm as she pulls herself up off of it, giving me a sly wink.Bartender: Sure thing darlin’.
The bartender fetches the drinks and hands them to him.Chris Cryptic: How much do I owe you?
She shakes her head.Bartender: Nothing darlin’, drinks are on me. Consider taking this as payment.
She slips a piece of paper into my front shirt pocket before winking again.Chris Cryptic: Oh.....k. Thanks, I suppose.
Gordon Fury: Eat a dick faggot!
Yup, Gordo is trashed. I make my way from the bar with a beer in each hand, and I smile at Lea as I approach, and she gives me a weird look raising an eyebrow. I get to her and hand her a beer, sitting down.Chris Cryptic: You ok babe?
Lea Idas:Oh, I’m just perfect. I just loooove watching some skanky bar twat get all tit friendly with my boyfriend. It’s the greatest thing in the world. She’s lucky I can’t be bothered to hobble over there. I KNOW she saw us come in together. She’s been eyeballing you since we walked through the door... and did Gordon just call you a faggot or is he screaming at a random stranger?
Chris Cryptic: Come on babe, she is probably just being friendly. We got free drinks out of it at least right? And knowing Gordo, probably both.
Gordon Fury: Stick that in your pipe and smoke it cuntwaffle!
Lea Idas: ...We’re not going to have to chase him down to get him back in pants are we? Because I’m not up for running, not now anyway. And I don’t care if she was being friendly, there’s a CODE Chris. There’s a girl code. And you don’t break the girl code. Because when you do, bad things happen. Really bad things. Don’t ask me what, because I think I’m maybe a little buzzed, which is either the alcohol or...no, it’s the alcohol for sure. But terrible things because bitches be crazy...
She gives me a once over, and my donnie downer feelings must be kind of obvious.Lea Idas:Are you okay? I mean, for real. I know how much you wanted to bring that gold home, and this probably isn’t really helping is it?
Gordon Fury: Who is world champ and fucking awesome? ME! That’s mother fucking who! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!
Chris Cryptic: ...whatever would give you that idea? Look, I said I would be here for Gordo, and I stick to my word. but yeh, I am a little bit down about it. Probably being a sore loser huh? And yes, bitches INDEED be crazy.
Lea Idas: Chris. Babe, your reaction? Totally normal. It’s not being a sore loser. It’s being HUMAN. When you want something that badly, when it becomes such a big part of the passion that moves you, coming up short is like getting hit head on by a mack truck. It just guts you. Believe me, I understand how you feel. I might not have made it quite as far in the running as you did, but that didn’t make it sting any less. Disappointment’s a natural reaction, but it’s how you move forward from here that matters. That’s what’s important. There’s always going to be a moment when you’re not as good as you want to be. And yeah, that moment sucks giant ass balls. But it’s always going to be there. And when it happens, the only thing you can do, is take something away from it. Learn something. Find your error...and then hit that motherfucker back so hard he’s spitting teeth out into the next fucking year.
She is too smart for her own good. She is like Oprah. Only not black, fat, and has pink hair... Ok so maybe not like Oprah, but you get the idea. Fuck you. I take a drink of my beer before continuing.Chris Cryptic: Way to make me feel like shit babe. I was the one who crushed your dream remember? Only to fuck it up when it really mattered.
I slam my fist on the table as I lean back in the chair. I look over at Gordo.Gordon Fury: DON’T FUCKING TOUCH IT!
Chris Cryptic: I should be like that. Up at the bar, with him, being drunk off my face making a dick of myself, instead of over here, moping, feeling sorry for myself. No offense.
Lea Idas: Oh sure. I totally get it. Who wants to hang with the gimp when they can party like a rockstar at the bar? Look, Chris, I’m not trying to guilt you. Yeah, you beat me. It hurt. More than I like to admit. But I don’t hold it against you. You were just better than me. You have more experience, and I’m not ashamed to say I lost to a better competitor. At least it wasn’t...the not so friendly neighborhood goth cunt. Because that would have been really dream shattering. Losses happen. Vandal’s no slouch. You know it, I know it. He’s smart as fuck, and a beast between the ropes. There’s NO shame to be had here. Alright. So you lost. You STILL made it to the finals. You made it to the main event. You think people won’t remember that? You want to drink at the bar and make a dick of yourself? Then do it. Be there to support Gordo...and keep him from stripping down to run out in the street and fight invisible monsters with bread. Be his FRIEND. Because you’ve been with him from start to finish here. You’ve walked the long road with him. But you’re going to have to get over this mopey ‘I lost’ bullshit. All it’s going to do, is drag you down more.
She is right. Fucking bitch. I need to stop moping like a little bitch, and get really, really drunk. At least, that is what I gathered from this conversation. I lean forward and kiss her, before pulling away just enough, keeping my forehead on hers.Chris Cryptic: You know, you are fantastic right?
Lea Idas: Oh, I know. You really don’t deserve me, but you’re just so damned adorable with your bald little head I can’t help myself. Now, enjoy yourself. As long as it doesn’t involve Tits McGee over there grinding on you anymore. Because I’m just drunk enough that wrapping a crutch around her head sounds like a good idea.
Chris Cryptic: I honestly wouldn't mind if you were wrapping your crotch around her head.
Lea glares at me.Chris Cryptic:Kidding babe! I’ll try to have fun without you.
I get up and walk over to the bar where Gordon is.Gordon Fury: Christicles! My main mother fucking man! Where you been brosef? Get some shots into you!
Chris Cryptic:Ok, you have forced my hand.
Gordon Fury: Tits Magee! Two more shot right here! My penis headed friend needs a hook up!
Bartender: Oh i’ll give him a hook up darlin’.
I glance back at Lea and mouth “I’m sorry”, before Gordon pulls me back in.Gordon Fury: Down the hatch bitch face!
A take a shot with him, which is no doubt not going to be the last one of the evening. The life of a wrestler is never boring. Especially not with friends like Gordon. I didn’t realize it, but Lea must have gotten a little annoyed with “Tits Magee”, or maybe she just needed another drink. Or wanted to stake her claim in some weird chick ritual I don’t know. Or all of the above, who fucking knows. Anyway, I had just taken a second shot, and hadn’t had a chance to swallow when a pair of hands turn me and Lea was suddenly right there, laying a liplock on me, which I can’t complain about, and stealing my shot, which I might have if I wasn’t caught off guard. She pulls away from me, a knowing little smirk on her lips before shooting a scathing look at the bartender before smiling sweetly.Lea Idas: Say -Darlin’-, how about another round for me and the boys yeah? And be a doll. Keep them coming. Empty glasses don’t earn tips.
I put my arm around Lea, before playfully rustling her hair.Chris Cryptic: Atta girl.
Gordon notices Lea has arrived.Gordon Fury: Well look who it is! My favourite kidnapping cripple! How’s it going you pink haired, face punching, ball of rage? I’m fan FUCKING tastic!
Chris Cryptic: Of course you are Gordo. You know babe, that wasn't very nice.
Lea Idas: Awwww, I’m sorry Chrissy. But you know how I get. I told you I wasn’t happy about her making eyes at you, and really, some girls just really need to learn what they can and can’t have. Besides, I wasn’t -that- mean. I could have been a lot meaner. I didn’t even take any jewelry off, didn’t lay a finger on her. I’m being good. And Gordo, just so you know. I WILL jack a wheelchair to chase your ass down if you do anything stupid.
I start cracking up laughing.Chris Cryptic:I meant it wasn’t very nice that you took my shot! But I appreciate you not punching our free drink machine.
Gordon Fury: Your grandmother is a wheelchair! ANOTHER SHOT!
I shake my head.Chris Cryptic: This is shaping up to be a looooong night.
It sure is, me. It sure is. We all take a shot together as the scene fades to black.-The Throw Down-
Well, you know you are in for a successful day full of things planned, when the first thing you do is sleep through your alarm. I wake up in my motel room, throw on some running shorts and a singlet, put on my shoes, and tie up my shoes, before leaving my house and jogging down the street. And before anyone asks, yes, there is a reason why I put you through that boring shit. I look into the camera and begin to speak while I job, cause I can multi-task like a mother fucker.Chris Cryptic: Kenneth, I am going for a run. I go for a run most days around this time, often earlier if I don’t sleep through my alarm. When I get back I will probably have breakfast. I am informing you of this because apparently my background and daily activities mean so much to you. You know what Kenneth, you piss me off, but not for the reason you would think.
First thing is first though. No offense to the country I currently live in , but I couldn’t give two shits what you think of America. Not only do a usually make it a habit to not care what douchebags say, but I’m not American. I appreciate everything I have here, but it isn’t home. So you can call Amerca shit until the cows come home, but I just. Don’t. Care. Simple as that.
But now to the reason you, and people like you piss me off. You are nothing less than an utter disgrace to the wrestling business. People like me train day in and day out, watch tapes of old matches of our opponents, study strengths and weaknesses, knowing that once they step in that ring, it is our DUTY to blow the roof off the arena, and leave with the victory. It is the drive to do this, and the dedication to the craft that is what wrestling is about. You Kenny, have NO fucking clue about any of that.
You are too busy worrying about shit that in the grand scheme of ANYTHING simply doesn’t fucking matter. You think America is shit? Who cares? You think I’m hiding something and you don’t trust me because I don’t tell my whole fucking life story in my bio? Who the fuck cares? You see maybe instead of your focus being on my past it should be on the match, and what you have to do to beat me?
You don’t care about the wrestling, you don’t care about what this whole fucking industry SHOULD be about! You just use it as an outlet to spew your hate and conspiracy theories. I mean did you even match any of my matches over the past month? You said you respected my skill, but it seems like you didn’t respect it enough to pay attention huh? Well you know what Kenny, that is your bad, not mine. Especially this week.
You see Kenny, last week I was handed my first loss in IWF to the now Underground Champion Dean Vandal. And I am not happy about it. I give Dean all the respect in the world, but I KNOW I deserve to hold that belt, and I will crush everyone in my way in order to get another chance to prove it. I’m pissed off, I’m driven to win, and by disrespecting the sport that I love, you have given me even more motivation. I know it goes without saying, but that was a TERRIBLE idea.
Its past time that someone shows you that you can’t keep runnin your mouth about irrelevant shit, and expect people to respect you as a competitor. And am going to show you by throwing you repeatedly across the ring until you stop moving. Simple, yet effective.
The fact is that come Underground, when the night is over, you won’t know any more about my background, but you WILL know how hard I hit, and you WILL experience the feeling of being dropped on your head, as you look up at the lights, my hand being raised as I stand above you.
The Cryptic age has hit a speed bump, but is far from over, and come Underground I begin my climb back up to the Underground title, at your expense.
I have run the whole block by this point, and am back at the front of my motel.Chris Cryptic: You wanted to know more about me Kenneth? Consider yourself informed.
I turn my back and walk towards my motel room as the scene fades to black.