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 |  Subject: RP#2: Take A Seat  Sun May 22, 2011 6:08 pm | |
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So one man down. One man closer to the IWF World Championship. They want to rock the boat though, IWF want to shake things up. So they bring in two brand new shows? Sure, I can dig that. Two shows, why not. So you need a reason to make matches like these, number one contender matches, where nobody in the match has ever been number one contender themselves… but then again, half the guys in this match have barely passed “GO”, barely rolled the die as it is. So go figure. But still, that’s cool, my first real opportunity. Horcurx Lave? Libra? Titus Black? Cole Tanner? The Ninja? Darren Moore? Alex Steele? Pancake Pete? All very different names, all very different agenda’s, all very different… very different indeed. The only thing they have in common, is that one by one, they’ll be tasting the gum stained print of thick black boot as they fall to the floor.
So last week, on my debut no less, I find myself up against a plant in the crowd, Libra. As if “randomly selecting” him from the crowd made me think any less of the guy I had already determined was to be my opponent. Don’t you think I do my research? Don’t you think I check the facts… sure that was Libra’s first match… and sure, I whipped his ass, no doubt about that… but the fact you thought you could pull the wool over these eyes IWF and try to make me believe Libra was just some nobody… well, you’ve got another thing coming. But now, now I hear Libra is up in arms about the result… like he can’t actually fathom that there are people, more able, more physically skilled, more mentally prepared than him!? Like this is some of joke, TK Jones def. Libra is some kind of practical joke. WRONG. Libra. I don’t know where you are or what you’re doing, and frankly, I just don’t give a damn. But if you’ve got any sense, any real brains, you’d watch carefully… but then, maybe your stupidity has blinded… so in that case… listen when I say. Last week, was no fluke, no chance, no miracle. TK Jones is point blank better than you, better than everybody, everybody in this Over The Top Battle Royal, better than Isolation, better than Showtime, better than Cataclysm and I will prove tonight when I toss every single on of your nameless faces over that top rope, become number one contender and in no time at all become your IWF World Champion… simple.
So Battle Royal, Battle Royal, Battle Royal… over the top? Funny that, because when I see the guest list for this party, I think to myself, who do we have here… it must just be me, because back where I’m from, we don’t congratulate failure, we don’t say, “Hey, you lost, but that’s no big deal, welcome to opportunity land”. Thing is, people like Libra; like Titus Black? What are they doing in this match, what have they done that has prompted them to be allowed into this sort of opportunistic match up? Last time I checked, they were 3 seconds late. Last time I checked, they were nothing but a couple of red light losers. So this match to me, is nothing but an over the top glorified, invite all the losers to… lose and all the TK Jones’…me being the only one…to toss them out accordingly. So what about me? What am I to do? Win… The winner versus the losers… wins? Funny that. So thanks for the freebies IWF, top notch booking. I hate to make so many “bright stars” burn out so fast, but somebody has to rise above the rest of them, so… you’re welcome.-----------------------------------------------------------------Is it on?
...is the red light flashing?
God. When the red light is flashing it means it’s on you tool. Oh, it is oh, oh---Welcome ladies and gentlemen, to a very live, and very special edition of TKTV! The Isolation Episode!
Now I’m sure a lot of you already know my name, I am TK Jones, The Thunder From Down Under, The Sexicutioner, The Alpha and The Omega making me Beta than you… and most recently… the Libra burier. Now, for those of you unaware, tonight I am one of the many participants in the Over the Top Battle Royale for a number one contender spot for the IWF World Championship. So it is my honour tonight, to verbally destroy your favourites and put them in their place accordingly.
Now, I realize, yes, you can’t physically GIVE a man a championship opportunity on whim, even if he’s the most decorated superstar around the world, even if he is the most verbally and physically impressive specimen in this industry, even if… he’s TK Jones. Because obviously, what kind of self respecting-IP Address finding, Facebook real name hunting, email account checking feder--- wait, Chad, I said find dirt on IWF not Roughtkut, come on bro!Chad Mason walks into shot holding large cardboard cue cards. TK puts his face in his hands disappointed.Sorry bro, my minds been elsewhere tonight dude…Chad looks meaningfully out into the distance, quickly glancing down to see if TK is looking, but he’s not. He awkwardly coughs to get Jones’ attention, then looks back into the distance as he notices TK looking up……umm, ok, I’ll play along, what’s up Chad?It’s Ashley bro, we had a fight before the show, and n---now she’s GONE!Gone?Yeah, bro, she’s gone, took my keys and left the arena!Well at least you know she’ll come back bro!Wha!? How can you be so sure bro?Well… if she doesn’t… it’s grand theft auto.Mason looks at TK expectantly.Anyway, you’ve got a match, I’ve got a match. But I’m going to the ring, I’ve got a couple of… favours to call in… you gonna tag along?You know it… bro. ...wait, did you call me a tool?TK just shakes his head and walks off. Chad stands dumbfounded momentarily, but then quickly hurries after Jones…-----------------------------------------------------------------Papercut/Hero by Linkin Park and Skillet hits the speakers and TK Jones and Chad Mason make their way down to the ring, slapping various hands, kissing babies and what not as they do. TK eventually gets into the ring and calls for a microphone as his music dies out…Alright look, I don’t have much time out here, my match starts in a moment, so I figure I’ll take this time out to address a few things, and a few peop---But before TK can get into anything, Gear Jammer by George Thorogood and the Destroyers hits, the theme music of his opponent from Battle Grounds hits and Libra makes his way out to the stage… to some extent.
Back in the ring, Chad whispers behind his hand to TK “That’s not Libra”. With TK whispering back, “Just go with it bro, this is one of many favours I’ll be calling in tonight.”
Libra is in fact not Libra at all, but a midget impersonating the real thing. An extreme exaggeration of the character, mini Libra storms down to the ring. The ring apron at his eye level, he reaches out for the bottom rope and in a comical fashion can’t seem to use his small arms and legs to scramble into the ring. After minutes of tireless squirming, mini Libra manages to get in the ring, circle TK Jones and Chad Mason and grab a microphone.Look TK, I am sick of you calling me out, attacking me with your words and all of that! I’ve barely been in this federation as long as you and WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS!TK strokes his beard methodically, pacing the ring for a few moments, then finally turning to Mini Libra…Well then, by all means… TAKE A SEAT!Without warning, TK nails Mini Libra with his signature bicycle superkick aka “We Speak No Harmonicana” taking the little man off his feet and unconsciously to the mat.
Chad rolls Mini Libra out of the ring and nods to TK…So before we were interrupted, what I was going to say is that there is a few peop---The lights suddenly drop in the arena, seconds pass, something big is coming, and when the lights come back on, TK and Chad start looking over their shoulders, literally “petrified”. The crowd cheer, seeing something TK and Chad obviously don’t, as the duo continue to look around for something, someone, anything. But suddenly come to the conclusion, it was just a technical difficulty. Patting each other on the shoulder they start to chuckle slowly turning around unassumingly and suddenly leap out of their boots as a small, masked man stands before them.  Is that MiniCrux Lave?AHHHH!?Out of pure terror, Chad kicks the masked man in the side of the head, knocking him out in the process and sprints to the back.Chad wa—damn it. Well, I’m out of---Jones looks around the ring with the two unconscious midgets. ---time. So I guess, if you ever needed to know anything, you can forget what you thought you knew, and know THIS. Tonight, TK Jones walks down to this ring, much like I did a moment ago if you were watching, then I’m going to do the following…Jones picks up the MiniCrux, tossing him over his shoulder, the microphone in his hand……so I guess you could call this my “Horcrux”, I’ll Wingardium Leviosa you up and over, and Avada Kadavra you to the floor, it’s not rocket science people, it’s just TK Jones versus lego blocks, in the sense that they are all as interchangeable as anybody else and the outcome will be no different, and it’s just… because I do because I can, and you Libra, you Horcrux, you other just and insignificant nameless bodies, you don’t because you suck!-----------------------------------------------------------------Backstage, as Jones comes through the gorilla position, an unknown man to many of the fans steps up to address TK…You’re pretty funny I th---TK puts a finger to the man’s lips.You’re Deuce right? Yes, I know who you are, you’ll be wanting this.Jones seemingly reaches into thin air below the camera shot, but when his hands return, they’re holding a very small man. Advantage, TK.Jones walks off as the camera focuses on Deuce. In Deuce’s arms, the little guy makes a serving action, bouncing and nodding hyperactively, looking at Deuce wide eyed, expectantly. The scene fades with the odd couple sharing the same confused look…-----------------------------------------------------------------*
So one of these days. Everything that’s been building, everything that has culminated to this point… it’s all going to hit the proverbial fan, here. So you can take you Alex Steele’s, your Pancake Pete’s, your Ninja’s, you can take them all, scrunch them up into a little ball and throw them down a hill, because names like that, people like them, they don’t belong with me. I AM better than them. I don’t have you tell you why, but when I win at Isolation… you’ll know.
They’ll all know, and they’ll all remember. That they can forget what they THOUGHT they knew, because this is the new testament, this is TK Jones, writing history as it comes, turning the pages, dipping the pen, doing it all… doing it all by himself… for himself… alone. I mean, I can sit here, I can call in favours, call out back-up. But what’s the point, when I’m so god damn good at this game, there’s things I’ve forgotten that these haven’t even learnt yet!
I’ve continuously reset the bar, and they’ve continuously not been able to match me. Guys like this, they can’t even hold a candle to the candle they can’t hold to me. They say lightning never strikes twice, well what about thunder? Because TK Jones IS, The Thunder From Down Under, The Sexicutioner, The Doctor of Awesonomics, and come Isolation, your NEW Number one Contender. The Be all, the end all, the beginning and the end, the Alpha and the Omega…meaning… I am, BETA than you Darren Moore, than you Deuce, than you Titus Black, than you… IWF. |
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