The Return of the Sexual One

Douche Alexander

You think that you are sexier than Gunther?

You think that you are better than Gunther?

Think again, my incredibly unsexy friend. You are no Gunther. I am the sexiest man alive. And you are nothing compared to me. You can talk all you want, about anything. But nothing compares to me.

I am the Sex God.

I have had sex with more woman than days you have lived. It's almost frightening to be honest. I fuck girls that would blow your brains. Think of the hottest girl you know. Any girl. And I guarantee that I have had intercourse with her. Not even a question

You are nothing Douche. You talk like you are the face of the IWF. But you can never be the face. Maybe the vagina. That's what I see when I look at your face. Just a giant vagina. But not a good vagina. Not one that I would insert my Gunther rod into.

You're like, a herpes, crabs infested vagina, that is just rotting away. Waiting for the day that you completely and totally die. Well Douche. Your day has come soon enough.

You have pissed off one too many people

Ask Corey Casey what happens when you piss off the Sex God.

Actually, don't ask Corey.

Ask Corey's balls.

Or Jessica.

They are the one's who would truly know.

Bring a cup to your match this week Douche. Because I'm going to be there. Everyone's going to be there, to see your little vagina face to get killed before it can spread the AIDS around to anyone else. I am the protector of all that is sexy.

I am the Sex God Gunther

And you, my unsexy friend, are nothing.

Whens the last time you had sex?

You better do it soon, because Gunther's coming.

And when I'm done with you, sex is going to be impossible.

Your nuts will be so far up inside you that you'll have to get them surgically lowered. And even that won't truly heal the pain that you will experience for the rest of your life.

Goodbye Douche Alexander

Goodbye Douche Alexander's balls

It's been nice not knowing you.

Stay sexy