Waking Up Too Damn Early.....

The IWF brass felt that my interviews last week went so well, that they decided to book me on CBS' The Early Show. They also explained to me that it meant I would have to get up at 5:30 in the morning to do a via satellite interview from Canada to New York. I explained that Vincent Van Rose doesn't do mornings, and they told me rather sternly that I do what they want....Needless to say I wasn't too happy, well that is til I saw the lovely face of Erica Hill looking at me through the monitor. Granted she had that goofy looking Chris Wragge dude with her but I didn't even notice he was there.....

Erica Hill: Good morning folks, we have a unique opportunity this morning to interview a rising star in the world of IWF Professional Wrestling, Vincent Van Rose...He is here with us live from the site of the company's PPV Bloody Sunday, set to take place this Sunday April 17th. Welcome to the show Vicent, sorry we dragged you out of bed at such an ungodly hour....

Vinnie: Aw shucks, it's all right sweetheart, I get to look at your amazing rack and smile so it balances out....Oh and call me Vinnie all my lady friends do....

Erica: Well um...Thanks I guess and Vinnie it is...*Blushing* On to some questions. You have been highly touted as one of IWF's biggest brighest stars, and you have never stepped into a wrestling ring until last week, to what do you cite as the reason you have taken off with fans and the guys in the locker room alike??

Vinnie: Well sugar, I think it was Hulk Hogan back in the day that touted his vitamins, well I don't take no vitamins, but I do have a winning smile and a natural ability to whip a man's ass....I was a part time body guard to the stars as well as a bouncer down in Tennesee before good ol Sly out the IWF legal team found me.

Erica: That leads us to my next question, Was it an easy transition to go from bouncer/body guard to in ring talent?? Were there any challanges to the change??

Vinnie: Well, now the stuff I used to do to unruly bar flies is all legal and gravy...Like take my match at Bloody Sunday. One of them boys has been jawing at me like Aunt Lucy's stubborn mule back home, so Sunday I can whip his ass, pick him up and knock him right to the floor and its all legal...Very cool stuff in this cowboy's opinion.

Chris Wragge: All very intresting stuff Vinnie, if I can call you Vinnie...But I am sure some fans are worried about your troubles outside the ring as well....We have it through one of our Canadian sources that you were part of a bar brawl in your hotel just a few nights ago and that you were arrested and detained for questioning....Is that true??

Vinnie: Little guy, if I may call ya little guy....It's like this, some guys were getting outta hand, they were drunk and strung out and starting some static with other bar goers and the manager was havin' a rough go with 'em, so I helped him out. Things got a lil wild, I put a guy through the front winder, and another through a table...Well I guess the crackheads called the cops because next thing I know I am being taken down to the station and questioned. Well Sly, the legal rep for IWF, came on down straightened things out and here I am ....

Chris: There are also some reports that your long time wife Lori Ann Van Rose has hired a lawyer and is looking into filing a motion for divorce...Would you care to comment??

Vinnie: What?? I don't know where you get your information there short stack, but I think it's a lil off base....*a tech leans into Vinnie's ear*, Well ain't that some shit....It looks like I owe you an apology Chris, this dude just told me you were right....Looks like I will have a lil stuff to work through when I get home....Lori Ann and I have had our differences in the past but we always come out bright eyed and bushy tailed on the other side....

Erica Hill: Vinnie, its sweet cheeks, er....Erica again....I hear that you and James Shark had a go around about some internet comments you made alluding he was your slave....It seems to have calmed down a bit over the past week, but are there plans for you two to settle it in the ring??

Vinnie: He holds a belt called the Full Throttle Championship and it is on the line this Sunday in a match against two great guys....I have been told by brass that the heat we generated caused traffic to our web site IWF.com, to increase about 30 fold. So if I had to wager I would guess I would be in line to take a shot at the colored fella sooner rather than later.... He may have put me on the back burner but after Sunday he will definitely want a shot a good ol VVR.

Erica: So we can assume you plan on getting in his face on Sunday....

Vinnie: Well, I reckon, I am gonna be on a lil show called the Hawk's Nest....Hosted by one of the dudes he is brawlin'...So he will be bound to show up.

Chris: Well Vinnie that's all the time we have for this morning, Folks remember to watch Bloody Sunday on PPV this Sunday.....

Vinnie: Thanks Chris, talk to ya soon sweet cheeks....

Erica blushes and blows Vinnie a kiss as the show goes to commercial....Chris is obviously irritated.....

Chris: I can't believe you were gushing like a school girl over that hick....Sweet cheeks...geez... And you blew him a kiss for God's sake...

Erica: I can't help myself, that is a sexy guy and he was soooo charismatic....I can't wait to have him on again...Maybe I can get Marysol to help me out instead of you, he didn't seem to like you much did he??

Chris puts his face in his hand mumbling something about ignorant hicks as our scene fades to black....