Watching a Hawk, through the eyes of a Kat. Chapter 3

I was just looking at the ceiling. Yet again. The last few nights had been horrible. I had gotten no sleep at all and when I was lucky enough to fall asleep I had nightmares. Nightmares about my time in prison. Nightmares about that last night with Rachel. Oh god I missed her. I would do and give anything to get her back. But it was to late for that. I will never see her again. I sat up in the bed. I looked over at Kat. She was still asleep. Rachel would be proud to know that I hadn't slept with her. It was nice to have Kat around but she was no replacement for Rachel. No one will ever be. I got out of the bed and walked over to the window. As I looked out at everything I couldn't stop wondering where Rachel was right now. I would love just to know how she was. But I would never know. Just knowing that I would never see her again was hard. But the hardest part was that it was all my own fault. Or at least I got the blame for it. That night my life ended. My heart broke way beyond repair and I would never be the same again. The memory of that night will always live with me.

Katrina Costick.
Hey there sexy.

I turned around and looked at Kat. Even though she was acting rather disrespectful considering that I had just lost the love of my life. She got my mind off things. I needed that and she knew it. Even though I hadn't told why I was not with Rachel anymore I could tell that she still knew that I needed her attention.

Katrina Costick.
What are you doing up so early?

Jason Hawk.
Nothing really. Just thinking.

Kat sat up in the bed and smiled at me.

Katrina Costick.
Well, that sounds boring. How about coming back to bed?

She lifted off the covers and revealed her naked body. I sat down on a chair right next to me and ran my hand through my hair.

Jason Hawk.
Yeah.. I am gonna pass.

Katrina Costick.
Oh come on JHawk. You are no fun.

Jason Hawk.
Yeah.. that is not part of my biggest worries.

Katrina Costick.
What's up Jason? You wake up like this every night. What is on your mind?

Jason Hawk.
Rachel.

Katrina Costick.
Oh.

Kat got out of the bed. I watched her naked body get closer to me. Even though I was still madly in-love with Rachel I could deny that Kat was probably the most beautiful woman I had ever laid my eyes on. Kat sat down on my lap.

Katrina Costick.
Now tell me. What exactly is it that keeps you up every night?

Jason Hawk.
You really wanna know?

Katrina Costick.
Of course I do.. Come on JHawk, I am your best friend. You can tell me everything. You have to tell me everything or I'll kick your ass.

I smiled.

Katrina Costick.
But before you tell me anything. We are going back to bed. Because no matter how sexy you are I am sitting kinda uncomfortable.

Kat stood up, grabbed my hands and pulled me back to bed. She curled up next to me and rested her head on my chest.

Katrina Costick.
Now please go on.

….

January 27th.
San Diego, California.

And there we were. New house, more money then either one of us could even dream about and I finally got away from the hellhole known as NLWF. Finally after six months of pure misery and hate I was finally out. I never had to worry about it again. Now I just hope that Nick, Brandon and the rest of those suckers have a nice one. But really? An NLWF without Jason Hawk? As if that will be very entertaining. But that is enough about that. It is gone now. Wrestling is gone now. I must say though. I was pretty awesome at it. Seven world titles and I am just 21 years old. That is really impressive no matter how you look at it.

Rachel Hawk.
Shouldn't we get some sleep? It is almost 5 AM.

I looked down at Rachel who was running her fingers up and down my chest.

Jason Hawk.
Do we have anything important to do tomorrow? Or should I say today. This has always confused me.

Rachel Hawk.
No. Because we are set for life. It still amazes me that NLWF would give me all that money because of your “death”.

She said with a laugh.

Jason Hawk.
Yeah.

I laughed. Truth be told. I had never told Rachel about the jobs I did for Akkarat and the Golden Triangle. If the police ever would find out. I would be fucked. Worse then Chuck fucked Alison at King of the Throne that one year and when Mean Dean The Pussy Eating Machine was eating out Alison on her birthday, combined! Yup it is that bad. If I could I would never tell her. I figured that it was best that she didn't know. It was even before I met her. So it doesn't really concern. Akkarat is gone anyways and the Golden Triangle has shut down. I'll just keep my mouth shut.

Jason Hawk.
The NLWF has always been quite stupid.

Rachel Hawk.
Yeah... I am about to pass out. Wanna sleep now? And no, I don't feel like doing it again. I am still exhausted from earlier.

Damn it! And how did she know that I was going to ask? Oh well. Better just ignore it.

Jason Hawk.
Sure thing beautiful.

We kissed and soon fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning to the smell of eggs and bacon. There is no better breakfast. I got out of the bed went straight for the kitchen. I sat down at the table and grabbed the knife and the fork.

Jason Hawk.
Feed me woman!

I said with a big smile. Rachel handed me a plate with egg and bacon on some toast.

Jason Hawk.
Ketchup woman! You forgot the ketchup!

Just then a ketchup bottle came flying towards me. I cached it.

Jason Hawk.
Check out those reflexes!

I started to eat and Rachel sat down on the other end of the table. She just looked at me and smiled.

Jason Hawk.
You are not going to eat anything?

Rachel Hawk.
No, I feel a little sick.

Jason Hawk.
Oh OK.

I finished my breakfast and decided I probably needed a little work out so I decided to go out on a run. I put on my running gear and plugged in my earphones and pressed play. Huey Lewis and The News! Fuck yeah! It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and there was not a single cloud to see. I decided that it was a good idea to take a run at the beach. Because on a sunny Saturday morning you know there are going to some beautiful chicks at the beach in bikinis. I know I am married, but I can still look, right? I jogged down to the beach. After jogging for a while and looking at all the beautiful ladies, I noticed a familiar face. Ashley Matthews. I hadn't seen her since the Camp Condemned tour. You know, when I kissed her. I still don't know why I did that. I guess I was just caught up in the moment. After that I was thrown out of the band and soon after they stopped playing. I guess that they did pick me over Nick after all. But anyways. I have to get ready for this awkward silence. She waved and smiled a half smile. I stopped.

Jason Hawk.
Hai

Ashley Matthews.
Hi.

Jason Hawk.
So.. uhh.. how is it going?

Ashley Matthews.
It goes.

Jason Hawk.
Are we going to have this awkward conversation again or should I just kiss you now?

Damn it Jason! Now she is going to be mad at you. But she just laughed.

Ashley Matthews.
No it is OK. No kiss this time.

Jason Hawk.
Good. Because I don't think Rachel would appreciate that.

Ashley Matthews.
Oh yeah. You are married now. Congratulations

Jason Hawk.
Spank you... no wait I mean thank you!

Change the subject, CHANGE THE SUBJECT! Ashley just laughed. She is cooler then I thought. But then again. I should still change the subject.

Jason Hawk.
So how are things with Nick now?

Ashley Matthews.
Worse then ever!

Wow.

Jason Hawk.
Did that kiss really mess up things?

Ashley Matthews
Worse then you can even imagine. I am lucky that I got away from him. So I am leaving tonight. I am taking a flight out of San Diego and I am just leaving. I don't know where I am going. I just want to get away from Nick.

Jason Hawk.
Wow.

Ashley Matthews.
I gotta go. Bai Jason.

Jason Hawk.
Bai

Ashley walked past me. Wait! Fuck! I forgot to ask why she was even in San Diego. Oh well. I better head back home.

When I got back home. I found Rachel looking in the mirror. Rubbing her belly. I walked up behind her and hugged her from behind. I kissed her neck and she rested her head on my shoulder.

Jason Hawk.
What are you doing here? Just admiring your beauty?

She smiled.

Rachel Hawk.
I have some news for you.

Jason Hawk.
Oh yeah?

Rachel Hawk.
I am pregnant.

Jason Hawk.


FUCK!!!!!!!!!! I can't be a father! I DON'T WANT TO LIVE WITH A HIPPO FOR NINE MONTHS! GET ME OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP!!! I GOTTA GO! I am just going to join Ashley in the leaving everything thing! I gotta call her! FUCK!!!!! I knew unprotected sex was a bad idea!!!!!!!

Jason Hawk.
No no no no!

Rachel Hawk.
What?

Jason Hawk.
We can't have a baby! We are way to young! I can't have a baby! I am way to young!

Rachel Hawk.
We'll raise it together. It will all turn out great.

Jason Hawk.
No! I don't want it! I just can't!

Rachel Hawk.
Do you want me to have an abortion!

Jason Hawk.
Or a divorce! It is your choice!

Rachel Hawk.
WHAT!

Jason Hawk.
I have to get out of here! Call me when you have decided.

I walked away. I got my phone and dialed Ashley's number

Jason Hawk.
Hi Ashley!

Ashley Matthews.
Jason?

She sounded rather surprised.

Jason Hawk.
I am coming with you to somewhere!

Ashley Matthews.
Why?

Jason Hawk.
Because.. I'll tell you on the plane.

Ashley Matthews.
Fine. But hurry up. The plane takes flight in a hour

Jason Hawk.
On my way!

I arrived at the airport and found Ashley.

Jason Hawk.
So where are we going?

Ashley looked at the tickets.

Ashley Matthews.
New York.

Jason Hawk.
Nice!

Ashley Matthews.
We gotta go. They are boarding now.

Jason Hawk.
Lets go break NYC!

Ashley Matthews.
...what?

Jason Hawk.
Nothing....

So this was it. I was actually going to leave San Diego. Again I would just flee from my responsibilities. Not taking the responsibility for my actions. I am a horrible person. I have to turn around right now and go back to Rachel. I can't just leave her like that! I don't want my child to grow up without a father. But I can't be a father. I am not mature enough for that. I would be a terrible father. I am terrible housebound. Oh god. I sat down. I needed a break.

Ashley Matthews.
Come on Jason. We are going to miss the flight.

I was just about to get up when I noticed Rachel to my left. Oh god. What should I do? I looked to my right over at Ashley. Then to the left at Rachel. I looked back at Ashley. She smiled and nodded. I knew what I had to do. I stood up and turned left. I walked over to Rachel and hugged her tight.

Jason Hawk.
I am so so so so sorry. I love you from the bottom of my heart. Please for forgive me. I promise that I will never ever leave you again! I will always lo..

And at that moment all was forgiven. I knew that I would spend the rest of my days loving her. Because she kissed me.

…......

Respect you?

Why the fuck should I respect you? Because you can put up a fight? Because you can take me to my limits? I don't think so Tim. When this is all set and done the only respect there will be in that ring is you respecting me. You know what kind of respect?

Respect through fear.

I will beat it into your thick head that I am levels above you. Levels above Vincent Van Rose. I will prove to both of you that you are both just stupid to think that I see you as a threat. I don't even see you as a threat. How should I respect you? I can walk into that main event and not even try. And still win!

Yes Tim.

I am that much better then you!.

I find you hilarious Tim. You fight for the love of the fans. The honor. You fight for proving a point. I am just wondering when you will realize that not of that matter. All that matters is you. Just look at me. I am the champion. Do I care what the fans or the wrestlers think of me?

Of course I don't.

The only thing that matters is Jason Hawk. By doing so you will become as great as I am. And when you are as great as I am. You get respect.

Even though you don't need it.

But that does that mean that I respect that people that respect me?

A few of them maybe.

But you?

I doubt it.