Feedback for the TLC match between Ruby and Ethan.

Results hasen't been posted yet but when they are, I would like people to read the TLC match between Ruby and Ethan and post here what you think. Did I do good or not, ask me how I could improve.

If I can get enough good feedback I'll consider becoming a match writer for the weekly show.

amazing job pulling off everything you did for the PPV

So...I had a long response that broke the matches down pretty much bit by bit, and then my internet shit out on me...so here's the short, simple version of what originally was much more detailed.

-Your match writing is generally good. It's descriptive enough that I can usually picture what's happening, and the things that I can't picture, I can sort of fill in the blanks so that it makes sense.

-However, at some times the action seems a bit rushed. Like, it just seems like it's a neverending flurry of high-speed offense, with no real breaks in the action or slower spots. When things finally DO slow down, it almost stops immediately. I guess the point here is that the flow of the match is a bit choppy.

-Sort of nitpicky, but I feel I should say it anyway: Write the commentary like this:

Rick - This is the shit I say.

Matt - Rick is a douche.

As opposed to:

Rick Christian: This is the shit I say.

Matt Biggars: Why is your formatting different from the rest of the show?

Know what I mean? Like I said, it's kind of nitpicky...but it keeps the entire show running smoothly when all the writers use the same coding and formatting. It's more of an aesthetic thing, really.

-The only other thing I really had to critique was grammar/punctuation type stuff. Some place, I think you may have benefitted from breaking up sentences, or adding a comma, or putting characters' nicknames in quotations, shit like that. Again, not anything crippling...just something to sort of strive for when you're writing. A lot of the issues I noticed, I think is just stuff you naturally get better with as you practice it.

But all in all, you did well. Matches were enjoyable, and given the short notice, I think you did damn good. Nice work, man.

Also, I'd like to thank Steel Angel for stepping up. I know I was getting antsy, as well as a lot of the roster to find out who won this or that, who was our new champ or the new people that wanted matches or even the exposure of the empire. Steel Angel saved the day. I dug the match, both participants looked great, and you even used my second finisher which means you did some research. Even in a rush, you kept it great. Thanks SA

They were good, solid matches, with some real hints of brilliance. I think you need to pace the action a little more, and slow it down. I call it "connect the spots". Sort of build from high spot to high spot. A match should flow like Spider-Man webslinging. He swings down, gets to the apex, then shoots another web and goes for it all over again. Sometimes he stops to climb a building, rest at the corner and decide which was he wants to go after. Then it's back to the action.

Ethan Cage wrote:

I dug the match, both participants looked great, and you even used my second finisher which means you did some research.

That's why I had both athlete's bios on hand when I wrote the match. I like to use as much of the character's arsenal as I can get away with.