Rising Monarchy Feedback

Can I get some feedback on my RM rp?

Ok Phil, first up, I like the whole diary thing. it gets us more into Phil's head. The only thing that could make it better is if you connected it more to Phil's current mindset/match. Like for example, if you and I were to fight again, you could do a diary entry about how thid one guy always beat you at "insert thing here". Cause it connects to the fact that Phil has never technically beaten Gordon. Shit like that. While Cd by it self can win matches, I personally give extra points for being relevant to the character/match.

The main issue man is your shoot. I mean trash talk is all well and good, but I feel like most of the time your shoot doesnt really have any weight behind it, any real impact. I mean, trash talk is a key part, but shooting is a lot more than what some people think. It is about taking facts and twisting them to your advantage, it is about maximising and tearing them apart over weaknesses, while keeping i mind how to minimise your own. While CD is important, to me, RP's are often times won and lost on a shoot. You know your character, you know your opponent, the rest is up to you. Also, I always give extra points for creativity.

In general though I enjoyed reading your RP, but it is by far not your best, and I know that you could do alot better, you just need to be pushed in the right direction.

Well man thats my 2 cents, take it or leave it

Gordo.