feedback please

What did you guys think of my rp?

I can use all the advice I can get.

Loved it, liked it, hated it? tell me why!

- Cassidy

Hola senor.

Well, let's get into some advice.

Overall: I thought it was a solid RP, one to introduce your character to the audience.

Suggestions:

1. Now, this might be just me; but, it seemed like your "scenes" didn't particularly "flow" well together. They were cool in their individual right, but placed together they seem a bit disjointed.

2. The Shoot/Promo was fine. The only thin that I didn't like was it's placement on the page per se. That huge block of text should be broken up into paragraphs--it would help the reader out a lot.


Well, that's all I got.

Thanks for the advice! I really appreciate it

Flexicles has it right Cassidy, but another thing is colour. You don't have to make your RP a rainbow or anything but even a little bit of colour is HUGE for the reader, as honestly reading a giant wall of white makes it difficult to truly enjoy your work imo.

That said for a first RP I liked it, and I'm keen so see more stuff from you.

Gordo.

Thanks for the feedback Gordon! Very appreciated!