BMac
Posts : 786
Join date : 2011-03-01
Age : 32
Location : Ottawa, Canada
Wrestler Stats
IWF Record: 24-7-2
Alignment: Face
 |  Subject: High As Fuck Diary #2  Sat May 07, 2011 7:45 pm | |
| Brandon Macdonald Diary
Entry #6
April 22nd, 1998
Just got home. Fucking crazy night. Let's go from the beginning.
Florida right now with Anna. Came on vacation with the fam and her. Got in two days ago. Lots of fun, just hangin on the beach. Gettin my tan on. Anyways, we stay with friends there. Dude named Andy is in that family, my age, so he's got all the parties you know? And he smokes weed, so it's even better. He tells us there's this party goin on tonight, at some dude's house, are we in? And of course we're in. So its night time, and he's got friends over. We start drinking, playin a few games, comparing Canada to Florida, and pretty soon, we're hammered. And it's time to go to the party. Meanwhile, I can barely walk, and Anna can't either. So we're like, leaning on each other, tryin to stay up. We all pile into some dude's van, and drive off to this house. Bumpy ass ride, but I was so trashed. So we walk into this party, and I'm still totally gone, and there's all these people I don't know. Felt pretty shitty about it, but you know, gotta make new friends. So I find the basement, where all these guys are smokin. I'm like, you boys got dope? And they're like, ya man, try some of this, it's our finest shit. So Anna and I are like, these guys are cool as shit. So someone hands us there bong, and Anna and I smoke a few bowls. Feelin kinda high, so we go upstairs to the party.
That's where shit started to go down.
I'm sittin on the couch, and all the sudden, I start gettin this eerie feeling, like some crazy shit's about to happen. I looked over and Anna was gone. So I was like, shit, where the fuck did she go. And I'm yellin shit, but no one answered me. So I stand up, and look at someone, and basically shit my pants. There's this skeleton man looking at me. Not like, a costume or some shit. A real ass skeleton, straight bones, with some muscle and shit hanging off. So I'm like, what the fuck is happening. And I turn around, and see a shit ton of other skeleton people walking towards me. I'm officially trippin balls now. Hardcore. One of them grabbed my arm, and I actually felt the bones close around it. I yelled and kicked one of them as hard as I could. I was freaked to shit. So I ran into the backyard as fast as I could. I saw all kinds of regular people, so I calmed down. I was lookin around, and saw this crazy red glow at the edge of the backyard. So I was goin over to it, exploring and shit, and I got to the edge, and it was like, a giant cliff. And at the bottom of the cliff. Fucking lava. I was like, shit man.
So I'm staring at this fucking lava in the backyard, and some guy is like, I'm gonna jump it. I was like, thats a pretty stupid idea, there's a bridge over there. But the bridge like, collapsed as soon as I said that. The dude jumps, and falls straight into the lava. He's screamin, and I'm actually seeing him burning. Like, the god damn skin flesh is burning off. Eventually, he just burned straight into a skeleton. Then the motherfucker walked over to some beach area shit, and climbed up the cliff, and walked back into the house. I was freaked the fuck out now, like, scared shitless. People were all jumping into the fucking lava, and burning away. Like, what the fuck. Some dude tried to push me in, and I punched him as hard as I could, and threw him in the lava. I watched as his skin burned away. I quickly ran back into the house, which was no better.
There was even more fucking skeleton men, and they were all going crazy. I was flipping my shit right about now, I might have even started to cry, I don't remember. I ran throughout the house, dodging flying fucking giant bats, who had eyes as big as my dick. They were fucking dive bombing me. I got outside to the front yard this time. There was no more lava pits, thank fucking god. But I saw a few people, with flaming skull heads, like in Ghost Rider. At this point, I was still scared shitless, but I kinda wasn't surprised. Until one of them spat lava out of his mouth at my face. That fucking did it. I put my hands up in front of my face, and when I looked at them, they began to dissolve into skeleton hands.
So now I was at my fucking limit, like, skeleton hands, I mean, what the fuck. I decided it was time to go. I had no idea where Anna was, and at that point, I figured she was just one of the fucking skeleton people, and I didn't even care. So I started to walk to the road. And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, I heard something explode, and was thrown off my feet. Now I'm just pissed off. I'm basically shitting my pants with fear, and I'm being thrown around. There's a god damn tank coming at me, with skeleton men in Nazi costumes running at me, shooting guns. I was basically like, fuck this shit, and ran like fucking hell. I had no idea where I was going, but I was just getting the fuck out of there. Hard as fuck to run, cuz the ground was shaking like a motherfucker. It was like a god damn earthquake. The road was fucking cracking for fuck's sake. I could see lava or some shit at the bottom of the crack. I was pretty sure that I was actually shitting my pants now. I turned to look behind me, and saw a Nazi Skeleton tank aiming a ridiculously huge gun barrel thing at me, and a big ass rocket shooting at me. I turned and ran, but the last thing I remember is flying like, 50 fucking feet in the air.
I woke up this morning in a fucking thorn bush. I got out, painfully, and just started walking down the street. I wasn't wearing any pants, and was wearing the shirt that Anna was wearing earlier that night. I walked down the street, until I found the house where everyone was. I went inside, and found a few people awake, and a few people still asleep. I found Anna passed out on the ground. Not surprisingly, wearing my shirt. No idea where my pants went. Turns out, there was a pool in the backyard. Not a pit of lava. But whatever. Anna and I got a ride back to Andy's house. People were laughing at me, and I wasn't surprised. Anna told me that she has a story to tell me too, about what happened to her that night.
NOTE: Found out that the guys at the party laced our weed with PCP. So Anna and I had our first PCP experience. Mine was not a good one, at all. Hers was better I think, but still awful.
------------------------------------ Brandon: "I still remember that night!"Anna: "Yeah, that was a fucked night"Brandon: "Yeah, but looking back, do you regret it?"Anna: "Nope, not at all"Brandon: "Me neither. It was actually awesome, now that I think about it"Anna: "Yeah. That was one of our more memorable drug induced nights I think"Brandon: "Yeah, definitely. Although I was pretty pissed that no one told us that it was PCP laced weed"Anna: "Yeah, I know. Dick move on their part"Brandon: "Totally. I was pissed afterwords. But at least it made for a really good story"Anna: "Yeah. I think I wrote mine in there somewhere too"Brandon: "Yeah, you've got your own section in here"Anna: "Yeah, well, we had a lot of nights like these."Brandon: "Yeah, we really did, didn't we?"Anna: "Yeah. Tons"Brandon: "Weren't they fun?"Anna: "Yeah, I'll admit it, they were"Brandon: "Well, this book still has empty pages in it. What do you say?"Anna: "Time to create another memory?"Brandon: "Only if you want to"Anna: "Well, the way I see it, I guess, why not?"Brandon: "Exactly. Unless you want to start being responsible or something. You're not pregnant, are you?"Anna: "Fuck that, I don't want kids yet"Brandon: "Me neither"Anna: "Good. Well, I guess it's settled then"Brandon: "We've got a shitload of money, people love us. We can pretty much do what we want. I think that's a recipe for another memory"Anna: "Just don't forget the book"Brandon: "I would never, ever, forget my diary"-------------------------------------------------------------
Whoa. Surprise of the motherfucking century right here. Brandon Macdonald actually helping Ruben Ricardo Leon?!?! What is happening here? Doesn't Brandon Macdonald usually beat the shit out of Ruben? Why is he helping him?
Simple answer. Corey Casey. The Irish asshole who helped Connor O'Shannon beat me two weeks ago, and then attacked me after my match. I owe him one. And now I'm cashing it in. It just so happens that his opponent is Ruben. So RRL, I hope your ready for the Briefcase semi-finals against James next week, because I'm not letting you lose. It's a No-DQ match, and I will make the fuck sure that you beat Corey.
Seriously Corey, you need to man the fuck up. Remember before our match at Bloody Sunday, I told you that when you lost, the real thing was going to be how you moved on from it. If you'd use it to get better. If you'd use it as motivation to come back better and stronger than ever.
Instead, you bitch and whine like a fucking ten year old boy who lost a footrace.
"U DIDNT BEET ME, U CHEATED! U NO HIT PURIFIER! I DIDNT LOSE!"
Shut the fuck up Corey. You lost you stupid whiny little bitch. Take it like a man. You're acting like a god damn spoiled kid, and it's driving me crazy. Sure my Purifier wasn't great. That's because you're as motherfucking fat as Rosie O'Donnell. Lifting you straight in the air like that takes fucking superhuman effort. I still can't believe I did it. I had you up there, and I swore I heard a Japanese guy yell "Freeeee Weeerrrryyy!"
But I still hit your stupid ass move. And I pinned you, one two three. You lost your title. Yet, here we are, three weeks later, and YOU'RE STILL FUCKING ON ABOUT IT. So much so that you decided to injure me two weeks ago, and then continue to complain about how I cheated to win. Come on Corey, I beat you fair and square. Acceptance. That's the next step. Your stupid ass is still stuck on Denial. You lost Corey. LOST LOST LOST LOST LOST LOST!
MOVE THE FUCK ON!
I'm better than you, fucking deal with it. I'm the best wrestler in the damn company, and that's why I'm the fucking IWF Champion. It's pretty simple Corey. Maybe you'll get another shot at me, maybe you won't. I don't even care, because I'll just pull a fucking Chris Brown on you, and beat you.
Anyways, back to this week. Corey Casey, I'm finally healthy again. Which means that I'll have no problems coming down during your match, beating your fucking ass to a pulp, and helping Ruben beat you any way possible. You're basically going to be fighting a handicap match. And the best part of it? It's all legal. Everything I do will be perfectly and completely legal. So be ready Corey. Because at Battle Grounds, I'm coming for you. I'm coming for the entire IIA. You guys put me out of action? I'm going to put every single one of you out. | |
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