Drinkin' to Remember....

... I could run on and on all day about just how the IIA is gonna do this that and thee other thing to Ebony and Ivory this Saturday, but truth be told I am thirsty.... When I am thirsty I don't go to a water cooler or soda machine. I go to a ROADHOUSE....

A bar can be described as many things, but for it to be called a roadhouse it has to have a few things. Bikers, big titted beer backs and me, Vincent Van Rose. Then and only then do you truly have a roadhouse. On this particular Thursday evening I chose to head from the midcarders hotel to a quaint little establishment called The Hobbler...I walked in and immediately felt like I was back in the holler as I caught a piece of broken pool stick broken over someone's back and heard good ol country cussin' fill my ears. Waylon on the jukebox and I let a small smile creep over my lips as I slid onto the corner stool and ordered up a PBR to start and told the 'tender to drop by a sixer and 2 fifths of Maker's on his return trip....Which he happily obliged....Dealing with a retarded orangutan and his equally retarded lover can take a lot out of a guy.

They were right, compared to some I was up there in age, but God's honest truth that doesn't mean I can't hand out an ass whippin' with the best of them....If I hear one more diatribe(Sharky that means long winded bullshit filled rant) about how they can fuck this or that or their cock is three feet long I am gonna put my Colt to the side of who ever does it's fucking head and pull the GODDAMN tigger. I got the 'tender's attention and asked fro my alchy again...

Vinnie: Hey buddy, can I get that Maker's and PBR down here....

Bartender: I am on my way pal....Hey aren't you that Van Rose fella, the wrestler??

Vinnie: Yeah, that's me ... You watch the show old timer??

Bartender: Yeah and we tune into the PPV's here at the Hobbler....

Vinnie: I have been meaning to ask...Why The Hobbler?? I run a roadhouse back home but I just called it the Rusty Nail...The Hobbler is definitely different....

...He made his way nice and slow around the corner of the bar and when he came into view I saw that he was missing his right leg from the knee down and walked with a noticeable dip to one side....

Bartender: Well truth be told I run this joint and in 'Nam I was unfortunate enough to come home a lil less than I went over....I make due with what I have but the guys give me hell about my hobble....Hence The Hobbler....

I stood up saluting him with a snap salute from my days on the USS Michigan... I served just this side of Desert Storm and put in five years of my life in support positions all over the world from Japan to Australia and back.....

Vinnie: From one vet to another....Thank you for all you did over there....I wouldn't be here without ya. I was a MT on the USS Michigan right after Desert Storm. I went in at 17 and came out just this side of 21. Four hard, but amazing years. What branch were you Old Timer....

...He put down the glass he was polishing and took a glass full of Maker's out of my fifth, downing it with precision....

Bartender: I was Army Ranger and I was a career man I put in as many as I could before Charlie took my leg... I even finished up my last term behind a desk...It was hell but I relished every minute....Hey don't y'all have a show goin on nearby....

Vinnie: Yup, down a piece in San Jose....I got to scrap with these two Canadian wet behind the ears fuckers and they have been riding my ass like a government mule. No damn respect. My boy, Corey Casey will be in there with me though and that guy has my back through thick and thin....Just like you Ranger Boys...

Bartender: Well I will let ya be son, It looks like you either got a lot of thinkin' or rememberin' to do...A man don't set that much hooch in front of hisself without tryin to do one or the other.

Vinnie: Just tryin' to remember why I got in this biz in the first place....I thought it would be a helluva rip like bodyguarding and bouncin' used to be ya know. But every kid in this place is so damn touchy....You call one dude's woman Scooby Doo and the other's a yappy purse dog and they just go off....Back in the day, shit was settled with two fists and an occasional bat or broken bottle. Nowadays you have to yap back and forth all goddamn week then beat the fuck out of Dude A or B to get shit done....

Bartender: Kids now a days don't know their ass from a hole in the ground boy. Everything is fuckin' handed to them....Ain't gotta work for shit so they just flap their damn gums all day. It would do those boys some good to get a boot up their fuckin ass I bet. Quiet 'em up real quick.....

The old man stopped and lit a cigarette offering me one from his pack, which I gladly took....You can't smoke anywhere anymore...Damn pussy ass government is trying to take all our fun away....He coughed a minute and resumed wiping the bar....

....I thought it was a trick of the booze and dim light but everything started to get fuzzy and melted away around me....I found myself standing shin deep in the wreckage of my place....Dwayne's cold dead eyes staring back at me accusingly....

Dwayne: You can't never do a damn thing right Vin, ya lost me and the bar and most of all Lori Ann....Now you are gonna lose your shot at the big time....These kids are gonna yank it right out from under ya....

[i] I dropped to my knees sobbing into my hands...He was wrong I hadn't lost this yet and I would show him and those Maple Syrup eating fucks what was what...I couldn't control the racking sobs as they shook out everything I had left in me....I couldn't let Dwayne be right....He was NEVER right...I wiped my face with my sooty hands and tried to make it to my feet....The room started spinning again and I was on my ass rihgt next to my hotel bed.....I rubbed a knot on my head from and empty Maker's bottle that knocked me on the head as I had fallen off the bed....

Vinnie: Damn, that was some fucked up shit....No more spicy food and liquor before bed for this old man....

I got up and looked in the mirror over the sink wiping away tears from my eyes ....Leaving soot streaks along my cheeks....

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The Match

There has been an epic amount of shit talked btween the four of us....The GM, whoever decides to show up this week, is drooling like a single digit IQ retard at the thought of the 4 biggest names in the IWF stepping into the ring at the same time. That being said the fans in the arena and those watching at home are gonna be disappointed I am sorry to say. Two of the four, namely CC and myself are ready to rip shit up and worry about taking down names afterward...We are humming the chorus to Bad Boys in our head gettin all hyped up for the match. Why just the chorus you ask?? Well can you understand the verses....I DIDN'T THINK SO!!! CC and VVR in the ring at the same time on the same page is gonna be a helluva show. But Mr. Rehab and Mr. Dick Swang haven't wrestled together and as far as I can tell sit down to pee. Not a very good combo....

....Sharky you are all tore up cuz I told ya I am droppin' ya.....Well here is a bit of info for ya to chew on....I think I will stick around. Just like a watermelon seed all caught up in your grill or that lil piece of gristle from the KFC you just can't get clean. I am gonna be like the Herpes you got from that hermaphroditic bitch Zedic, always poppin' up at inconvienent times to fuck with your shit!!! You thought me callin' you out before was bad, you thought all the shit I talked before was something...Well my man you ain't seen shit!! By the way what big ass black man keeps a diary....That shit is for preteen girls and old ladies like Medea. I ain't gotta write my final thoughts down for posterity, like fucking Jerry Springer or some shit. I think after I whip your ass in that ring CC and I should put you in a fucking dress and leave you in the middle of the ring bleeding out like a lil bitch stuck pig.