Kingdom of the Demon! ...or not

Guest

-March 2011, The Kingdom of the Demon-

In a place not too far from civilisation: A huge castle stood, looming over the surrounding landscape. Its towers reached up to the sky in dramatic fashion, and its grey walls pushed anything that tried to intrude away from it, deeming it not worthy to enter such a beautiful structure. But oddly, for a castle of this nature, a large flag with the picture of a clown’s face hung over the entrance gate. It was coloured bright purple, with a card suit in each corner. In the middle of it was the face of a clown: White face paint, shadowed eyes, and dark green hair, complete with big, bright red lips. It’s expression was that of joy, it’s mouth open and his eyes wide open and gleaming. Below the picture, there was an italicised text that read: “Shadow Demon and Rogue’s Humble Abode”. Below that was a message, in smaller text, that read: “OH HAI!!! If you’ve come this far and are reading this sign, then congrats champ! You get a free pass to live in our castle and do whatever you please for however long you want!’ And then, below THAT, was an even smaller text that read: ‘LOL JK, go away’.

Inside this steel fortress, sat the clown from that very flag. He wore a large, furry coat over his purple suit, and a huge crown placed upon his head, encrusted with lavish jewels. He sat, legs crossed, atop a majestic golden throne, and in his hands was the latest edition of South Australia’s favourite newspaper, “The Advertiser”. On the front page the headline read: “NO LIMITS IS NO MORE”, while the sub heading beneath said: “Leadership problems spell the end for the legendary federation”. The clown, known as Shadow Demon, frowned as he read through the paper. One could be forgiven for believing that he was angered, or upset, in some way. But the next thing he did, was crack up laughing maniacally.

Shadow Demon
C-Can you believe THIS?! Ridicule’s gone off his rocker! He thought the whole federation was just HIS?! Hah! What, is he just going to run his own fed, with JUST HIM?? Could you imagine the commentary team?! “Oh what a body slam that was by Ridicule on Ridicule, don’t you think Nick?” “I agree with ya there Ridicule, Nick is really taking a beating from Nick!!”

Shadow Demon laughed again, tossing the newspaper over his right shoulder. After a few moments he suddenly dropped his chin into his hand, his elbow resting on the armrest of the chair, looking uninterested in anything around him.

Shadow Demon
I’m bored.

He cleared his nose.

Shadow Demon
I’m the boredest bored that was every bored in his boring life.

He blinked, and then frowned for a second.

Shadow Demon
SUNNY!

At that moment, a young woman walked hurriedly into the room. She wore a bright purple maid’s outfit, and face-paint that mimicked that of Shadow’s covered her face, although what set her apart the most was that her hair was a sparkling red. She stopped in front of Shadow, her hands on her hips, and a duster in hand.

Sunny
What?!

Shadow Demon
I’m bored.

Sunny spoke with a southern accent.

Sunny
Well I been BUSY for the last HOUR an’ a HALF completin’ this REDICULOUS NEVER-ENDIN’ LIST of CHORES you’re makin’ me do!! Honestly, do I really need to scrub the ENTIRE castle, inside an’ out?! I’m sure it ain’t THAT dirty.

She rolled out a massively long piece of parchment. It reached all the way down to her feet.

Shadow Demon
HEY! I spent a long time on that list! You should respect my handiwork!

Sunny
But I-

Shadow put his finger to his lips, silencing her. He spoke again.

Shadow Demon
Besides, my boredness is a more serious issue than that list. I want to be ENTERTAINED. I thought this castle was all that I ever wanted...

Shadow talked deep in thought, looking out through the window at the desolate surroundings of the castle. Sunny sighed, knowing that whatever she said, he wouldn’t listen. So she stood patiently, listening to his babble.

Shadow Demon
After I left NLWF, I thought I could finally accomplish my dream of having my own castle to live in with my wife...And have a group of loyal subjects to work under me, as I would be their king...And I am! I am! I have all of it! But for some reason it hasn’t satisfied me. Just lounging around with all of you working for me is great, and horse-riding and golf are a blast, but something just doesn’t feel right...I thought that this was all I ever wanted, but maybe I’ve been wrong....
There was a brief silence, before Sunny answered.

Sunny
Can I’ go now?

Shadow let out a loud sigh, and nodded. But as Sunny began to walk out, she felt herself trapped in a tight hug from behind, and a dramatic cry.

Shadow Demon
IT’S TEARING ME APART YOU SEE!!!

Sunny
GET OFF O’ ME!

She said pushing him off.

Shadow Demon
But...but Sunny...I need to be comforted! My life dream hasn’t turned out to be as great as I thought it was! YOU NEED TO HELP ME!

Sunny
What I think you need to do, is have a long, hard rest an’ then think of giving me a pay rise!

Sunny stormed out, leaving Shadow Demon on his knees, crying out in desperation.

Shadow Demon
DON’T LEAVE ME!! IM VERY UNSTABLE! SUNNY! SUNNY, I’m....I’m going to die!!

After lying on the ground in the foetal position for what seemed like an eternity, the depressed clown stood up and moped back to his chair. He slumped down into it, and returned to the position he had been before, holding his chin in his hand.

Shadow Demon
Do my subjects even like me?

He considered this for a moment, eyes wide. But of course they had to like him. He was their king! They wouldn’t have chosen him to be king if they didn’t like him.

Shadow Demon
Yeah, OF COURSE they like me. I’m their king! Isn’t that right No-Nose, you guys like me, don’t you?!

Shadow said to a small, balding man. The man also wore facepaint, but his most distinguishing feature, true to his name, was a lack of any form of nasal organ. In place of where his nose should have been were just two holes. Which was weird, thought Shadow, because how can you have no nose, yet still have a place to breathe through on your face??

No-Nose
Um, yeah, of course we do man! You’re the bomb!

Shadow’s face burst into a big, toothy grin.

Shadow Demon
Aha! I KNEW I could count on you to cheer me up No-Nose! Say, whatever actually happened to that nose of yours??

No-Nose’s face suddenly turned bright pink, and his hand rushed up to cover the space where his nose used to be.

No-Nose
Well ah...see, funny story about that...ah...uh...

Shadow Demon
Well come on, spit it out! I don’t have all day! Well I do, but, y’know, I’m not prepared to wait that long.

No-Nose
Errr...I...uh...lost it.

Shadow burst out laughing, causing No-Nose’s face to turn even pinker.

Shadow Demon
Y-you LOST it?! How could you POSSIBLY do THAT?! I mean, it’s right HERE!

Shadow raised his finger and pointed at his nose, giggling like a child. No-Nose shook his head in shame, and was about to storm out before Shadow called him back.

Shadow Demon
HEY! Don’t run away No-Nose! I’m just Joshin’. I don’t mean to be a big bully to ya! Come on, just tell me what happened and I promise I won’t laugh, He-he!

No-Nose stopped, and considered it for a moment. Eventually he turned around to face the clown.

No-Nose
Well, your majesty, one day me and my mates were down at the park having a kick of the footy as we usually did on Thursday afternoon’s. After a while we started playing ‘Mark’s up’, and I when I tried to mark it, I attempted a massive specky on my friend’s back. But I got up too late, and the ball hit me straight in the face. Ever since then, I haven’t been able to find my nose – It just flew off, and no matter how hard I tried to find it, I never could.

Shadow Demon
Aw, I feel for ya buddy! Tell ya what, if I can find the time I’ll have a look for your nose wherever I can. It must be really hard to not have one...what happens when you sneeze?!

No-Nose
Just like a normal nose, except because they’re just holes in the front of my face I always get flies and stuff fly up there, and sometimes they get caught and-

Shadow Demon
OKAY NO-NOSE, OKAY!!! I GOT THE POINT SON! You may leave at once, good sir.

No-Nose nodded, and was about to leave, when he noticed something on the back page of the paper Shadow had resumed reading.

No-Nose
Hey, have a look, it says on the back that some guys from NLWF are opening a new fed. You know those guys right?

Shadow frowned and flipped over the paper so he was now looking at the back page.

Shadow Demon
What do ya mean No-

He stopped mid-sentence, staring at the headline on the back page, which was the sports section. A large picture of Corey Casey, Chuck Matthews and Brandon Macdonald with a logo reading ‘Insurgency Wrestling Federation’ behind them jumped out at him from the page. The headline read:

“NO MORE NO LIMITS, BUT THE INSURGENCY RISES FROM THE ASHES”

Shadow raised his eyebrows, and began reading the article.

“Former NLWF Superstars, Brandon Macdonald, Chuck Matthews, and Corey Casey have banded together to create a new wrestling federation called the Insurgency Wrestling Federation, or IWF. The federation has been operating under the radar since its creation, and not until recently have we here at The Advertiser been able to gain knowledge about it. Their latest show, Battle Grounds VI was held in the KeyArena, in Seattle, Washington, and drew well...

Shadow stopped and scanned down the page until he found the part he was looking for.

“Their next show is scheduled to be hosted in the Rose Garden, Portland, Oregon.”

Shadow stopped reading and looked up at No-Nose, and excited look on his face. He threw the paper behind him, laughed madly and stepped up onto his chair so he was standing on it.

No-Nose
Um, sir...

Before No-Nose had time to react, Shadow had leaped off of the chair and ensnared him in a flying hug. Both men crashed down to the floor.

Shadow Demon
THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! MY DEAR NO-NOSE WITH MUCH LACK OF NOSE!! YOU’VE SAVED ME FROM BOREDOM AND IGNORANCE!

No-Nose tried to push the clown off, but he was trapped in his arms that were squeezed tightly around him.

No-Nose
So. You’re. Gonna. Join?

Shadow Demon
Of course, silly! This is EXACTLY what I needed! It’s too boring in this joint. I need to get out into the WRESTLING BUSINESS again! Besides, I miss all my old buddies from NLWF.

No-Nose
But. You. Don’t. Wrestle. Anymore?

Shadow Demon
I know THAT, dum-dum! I just thought I’d pop in, you know, as a legend of NLWF I’m sure they’d be happy to have ME on board to help. Maybe I could get a managing position? Anything could happen!

Shadow uncoiled from No-Nose, who exhaled greatly and began taking in deep breaths of air.

Shadow Demon
HEY ROGUE!! GUESS WHAT?!

Shadow called out to his wife, who was down the hall, cooking a stew for lunch.

Rogue
...WHAT???

Shadow Demon
THEY CLOSED DOWN NLWF AND OPENED UP A NEW FED!! IT’S CALLED IWF

Rogue walked quickly into the room, a large chef’s hat was perched on her head, and a apron that had ‘Here’s to the host who can boast the most roast!’ written in italics on the front of it. She had her hands on hips, and was frowning. As she came in, No-Nose waddled off without either of them noticing.

Rogue
And?!

Shadow Demon
Well, you know how I’ve always LURVED wrestling...well I thought, maybe, you know...I could go over there and help them? You know, with the managings and such, and you could come with me!

Rogue
But...are you sure? I mean we only just got here...

Shadow Demon
Ya I know, and this place is great an’ all, but I REALLY MISS ALL MY OLD BUDDIES

Rogue sighed and shook her head.

Rogue
I don’t know...

Shadow knew why she was reluctant for them to go back. The last time she’d been in the wrestling business, she had been kidnapped and tortured by Corey Casey and Salvation. She’d nearly died that night. Suddenly, Shadow realised something. Did know that Corey was going to be there? Because if she did, then it would turn this reluctance into an emphatic “no.”

At that moment, as if she was reading his mind, she asked him.

Rogue
Is Corey going to be there? Because if he is, then I’m staying here.

Shadow Demon
Wellll.....how should I put this.....for the time we are there.....he will be there, in a physical sense...but not in a spiritual one?

Rogue
Forget it.

She was about to walk away when Shadow grabbed her arm. She turned around to face him. His face had a serious expression on it.

Shadow Demon
Rogue, I understand that ya wouldn’t want to go back after he nearly killed ya, but I honestly know he’s changed. I won’t ever forgive him for what he did-and I don’t expect you to either. I’m not defending his actions baby, it was hard for me to accept as well, when I found out. But he’s actually not evil anymore. He’s no longer a part of Salvation like he was that time when he kidnapped us. He ain’t “The Lord” anymore...he’s a normal guy.

Rogue looked at him, and exhaled slowly. And then her eyes took that fiery rebelliousness that he was used to.

Rogue
Alright then, but you’d better promise me Corey will stay the hell away from me until I decide that I’m gonna damn well kick his ass!

Shadow Demon laughed and then swiftly kissed her.

Shadow Demon
I promise that I damn well shall! Come on, let’s get outta here!

Rogue nodded, and threw off her chef’s hat, and Shadow pulled out car key’s from his pocket, and twirled them around his finger.

Shadow Demon
I believe it’s time I put that classy car I bought into good use! Ever since I bought it, I’ve only ever used it to drive here.

Rogue
Oh you mean old, old, red car you bought at that police auction?

Shadow Demon
Hey! Like I said, it’s classy!

Rogue laughed.

Rogue
Hold on, shouldn’t we take all our stuff?

Shadow Demon
Nah, I actually have an apartment in Oregon from the NLWF days, and their next show is in Portland. So if they accept us on board, then we should be able to a heap of stuff from their and then buy the rest. Waddya say?

Rogue
Sure, let’s do it!

Shadow opened the huge castle doors, and they were about to walk out when they were approached by No-Nose.

No-Nose
But who’ll be in charge while you’re gone sire?

Shadow grinned, and patted him on the head.

Shadow Demon
Why, my little No-Nose, you will!

No-Nose frowned, but Rogue comforted him, smiling.

Rogue
Don’t worry buddy, I’m sure you’ll do fine!

No-Nose
Oh...ok.

Shadow Demon
Adios!

Shadow swiftly opened the doors and they headed outside to the grounds. There was a garden outside of the castle that Shadow had had created and maintained by a highly skilled gardener. All types of weird and exotic plants grew there, but Shadow wasn’t interested in them right now. He and Rogue headed away from the main part of the garden, and he clicked a button on a pad that was attached to his key ring. The door flew up and Shadow stepped inside. The garage was dark, and pretty dusty as he hadn’t used it since they had taken up residence at the castle. He pressed a button and the car unlocked, its lights flashing; illuminating the garage for a moment.

Shadow’s car was a 1937 Alfa Romeo, painted a bright red.

Shadow Demon
I’ve missed you shiny car!

Rogue
I still don’t see what’s so great about it...

Shadow Demon
It’s just so funky and fancy!

Rogue
Whatever, come on, let’s go!

They jumped in and started up the car. Finally, Shadow was going to be able to be able to do what he knew he loved doing – participating in the wrestling business. Plus, he’d be able to meet some old friends...and, unfortunately, enemies. He’d no doubt run into the man who had tortured Rogue, and made him think his wife had died at his hands. He was overjoyed, really, that she’d even been willing to go into the same state as Corey Casey, let alone possibly be around him if he got this job. Corey had transformed him into a monster, something that he’d never been since the beginning of his career in NLWF, when he’d been a member of The Asylum. Like he said, he’d always been mad – but there was a method to his madness. What Corey did to him changed that, and for a few moments, he didn’t care about his wife, or anyone else. He followed the leader, doing everything he told him to. Just like it had been with Havoc in the Asylum.

Shadow had to suddenly swerve to avoid an oncoming car, as he’d accidentally drifted onto the right side of the road, lost in his heavy thought.

Rogue
You alright?

Shadow Demon
Sorry bout that, I was just, ah...busy thinking...

She nodded and turned back to looking at the road. He could tell she knew what he was thinking about. Rogue could always see right through him. Slowly, he sighed, and said:

Shadow Demon
Ya know, you uh...don’t have to do this if you don’t wanna. I know how hard it would be with Corey there, and ah...I’m kinda doubting it meself if we should really do this...

Rogue’s face lit up in a big sparkly grin.

Rogue
AWWW SHADOW, U SO CONCERENED BOUT ME!!

Shadow Demon
HEY, IMA JUST BEING A NICE CLOWN!

Rogue laughed, and then placed her hand over his.

Rogue
No Shadow, you’re wrong. You and I, we’re gonna be just fine.

Shadow looked over to her with a sly smile on his face.

Shadow Demon
And WHAT do we do if the ol’ CC tries to pull a Salvation on him again?

Rogue drew in a breath, and Shadow followed suit. Their shout echoed out into the sunset:

“WE KICK HIS ASS!!!”

==================================================================================

Shadow Demon
I’m back! I’m back! I’m back in....purple. But never mind! I’m back, and I’ve never felt better! See, this makes me a happy clown. Being back home is really a blast. Really, it is. I’ve got a show to manage, and a draft that I will most DEFINETLY gain all the superior superstars in. Howeever, there appears to be one small problem that very much appears to be getting in the way of yours truly.

Chris Matthews.

Now, I don’t know much about this lad, I know he’s the BIG BRO of Chuckky Matthews, but besides that, I dunno zilch. But I do know I will be facing him in the ring for the chance to gain the very first pick of this prestigious draft!

And a clown couldn’t be more excited!

Ya see, I’m not gonna mess around here. It’s been a long long time since I set a foot in a ring. I was outta action before NLWF got shut down for the good of us all. Or whatever. But since then, I’ve missed it a lot, I’ve missed beating up brainless numbskulls who think they’re better than the two time Undisputed Shampeeeon Shadow Demon!

The thing is, as my buddy James Shark would say: You gotta have confidence.

I got confidence.

I have confidence that I can shake off any of this ol’ ring rust that’s supposed ta build up when you don’t wrestle for ages – although, I have to admit, I feel pretty RUST-less, unlike what my nemesis Chrisssy will be like!

See, Chrisssy retired. He said ‘Nope, time’s up lads,’ and took a hike. No longer did the man say he would wrestle. I on the other hand, never retired. Hey, I’m willing to be an IWF competitor if I get kicked outta this job – but that of course, probably won’t be the case. Because honestly, who could put a loveable clown like this out of a job?! Annyway, Chrissy retired from fighting, end of story. Who knows if he’s prepared to step into the ring with an old school veteran like me?? Maybe I’m being ignorant here, but ya can’t deny that the odds are on the clown!

But we’ll see what happens, shall we? I mean, perhaps I’m underestimating you Chrissy, as I can remember you doing pretty well over there in the-place-that-must-not-be-named...but what we gotta focus on is NOW. And right now, I’m the guy who wants his show to be head an’ shoulders above the other, and having this first pick would really help with that matter!

Mark a clown’s words, Cataclysm is gonna be the show that everyone sees first in IWF. Cataclsym’s gonna have the best competitors and the most amazing matches that you’ve ever seen in your LIFE. It will be the number ONE spot to go to for entertainment in IWF. Showtime? Hah! Even Allan’s ANGLE comes closer than that.

And that show doesn’t even make SENSE!

Chrissy, hope you’re ready for ring action, or you ain’t got no chance against me!

CHYOOOO!!!

....Oh oops, that’s James Shark’s thing. I’ve been watching too many of his promos...