"Between a Hawk and a Hard Place" Part I

The hum of construction trucks and hammers and the like had become like a lullaby to me over the past few weeks. The crews had been hard at work making the Nail into something bigger and better than it had been. I had been through dozens of interviews with the police and fire departments over the past few weeks and they all concluded it was an accidental fire caused by faulty wiring in the kitchen. Being that I insisted that it was Mexican werewolf and his crew, they also sent me to dozens of psych evals. Add to that the matches and touring with the IWF and I was plum tired out. The psych guys in their fancy schamcy white lab coats with their nifty flash cards and clipboards concluded I was dilusional and told me to get some rest. REST!! Yeah right doc I got too much shit to do. I absent mindedly drifted off day dreaming when I heard the crunch of tires and saw dust blowing in our makeshift parking lot. Holy heck it was Corey Casey gracing his boy VVR with his presence outside of a IWF arena. I made my way out of the trailer to give him a proper Southern greeting....

.....The rest is detailed pretty good by Corey so I won't rehash it all. Needless to say the Yankee gave me a lot to chew on. It made me think of my days in SEAL Team 8. We were all recruited out of our mundane Navy existances because of our "special talents". Road Dog was a demolitions specialist, Squeaks was our intel guy. Tek Nine was our computer and tech specialist, The Bang Twins, well the were our munitions dudes. Then there was me, the Bayonet. Back then I was Christian Coldwater, Vinnie Van Rose, the man I am now wasn't even concocted yet. I was the long range sniper and assination specialist. That and I could fly the hell out of a Huey. I will never forget the recruiting meeting when Sgt. Brinkman brought me into the fold so to speak.

I had made a name for myself at the long range shooting contests by making crazy long distance shots and tatooing silly patterns on the different targets. It broke up the monotony between deployments and it was something to impress the ladies with at the bars in town. It must have also drawn the attention of the Sarge because he had come out personally that particular day to witness me in all my glory. All the guys watching me had seen him first and snapped to attention, but as per usual I was too damn busy running my mouth....

Christian: All right boys, you wanted the best, well he couldn't fuckin' make it so you are stuck with lil ol' me....I heard someone call out for a smiley face on the 500 yd target. Well here it is....

Just as I let loose with a barrage from my sniper rifle I felt someone tap my shoulder.....

Christian: I will be with ya in just a minute pal, I gotta check the target....

....I turned to look over my shoulder and there he was staring down at me from my position, the famed Sargent Brinkman, THE SARGE. Most third year guys would be intimated by a dude with his credentials but I took my time getting up and slung the rifle over my shoulder, pulling the steel cigar casing I always carried out of my pocket....Lighting it I stared down the Sarge....

Christian: What brings ya all the way out to the armpit of the Navy Sarge.....

Sarge: Well, I would say it was the fish tacos, but even they suck ass .... I see you know about as much about me as I know about you Sailor. Well then you probably know I forming an elite SEAL Team, one that will carry out the missions that have all our other guys shitting their Jockeys over. And I want you to be a part of this squad. I need a sniper and you, son are the best we have. The guys back in Virginia told me you could pluck a fly off a jackass's back at a mile and I thought they were bullshitting me but your shooting in that set was damned impressive....

Christian: Well the last smiley was a lil crooked, but all in all I am proud of it, thanks....

....The Sarge just chuckled shaking his head.....

Sarge: They told me you were a wild one, I told them it was just what Team 8 needed....So Son, are you in??

Christian: Well, I reckon it will be a lot more fun than tricks for the rooks comin in huh??

....The older man slapped me on the back and nodded chuckling....

Sarge: I would say it's gonna be a hell of a ride Son, a helluva ride...

.... One of the cranes outside dropping their load with a loud crash brought me back to the present and I snickered to myself remembering all the great ops we went on as a team. From assisnations to demos to snatch and grabs, everything was an adventure and it looked like being second banana for ME Security was gonna be just as fun of a ride. I wonder who CC had in mind to fill out the squad, I am sure he had the best of the best in that folder of his. Since he left, a courier had been by with the paperwork and travel itenerary CC promised. I flipped through the "Code of Conduct", laughing at how many of the bullet points Chuck ahad violated in just the past hour most likely. I was just finishing up a cursory review when my business line buzzed signaling an incoming call.....

Vinnie: Go for Van Rose....

Gravelly Voice: Code Alpha secure transmission from Eagle's Nest....Confirm Identity: Capt. Christian Coldwater....

....My eyes went wide, we were decommissioned but a part of me had always expected to hear from the Sarge again. I followed release orders to a T, changing everything from my appearance to my ID's and given name...To hear my old moniker again brought a wave of chills over me....

Vinnie: Identity Capt. Christian Coldwater confirmed, response code 3 Alpha 6 Charlie....

Voice: Response code confirmed....How in the hell are ya Son??

Vinnie: Well I was good til I heard your particular voice on the other end of my phone ya old rascal.....What brings you into my universe again??

Sarge: It is in an official capacity as you can tell by this being a secure transmission....We here at the Eagle's Nest have it on good authority that one Chris Matthews and in particular his head of security Corey Casey, has approached you about filling a spot on the Security Team there?? We also have it on good authority that terrorist operations, both with foreign goals and some homegrown aspects have a financial and personnel stake in ME Holdings....We want you, Christian, to go in as your current moniker and persona of Vincent Van Rose, and report back any findings you deem worthy of suspicion. This is not an invitation solider, this is an order handed down from the Quarterback himself. Ever since Bin Laden went down we have upped our monitoring....

Vinnie: Funny enough I had just signed the paperwork and I am due in Chicago in a few days, I will set up a base of ops there and meet with Chuck himself.

Sarge: Thank you Christian and as always Godspeed....Sarge out....

....I still held the phone in my hand as the line went dead. The humming inmy ear did not phase me as I was swept up in thought. ME Enterprises caught up in terrorist activity?? Surely Corey knew this and was looking to root it out....He knew of my background and and what I could bring in a was recruiting me to wip it out....But what if....That could explain his odd behavior in our meeting earlier....I shook my head trying to get those thoughts out of my head as I locked up the trailer and slid behind the wheel of my old reliable Camaro and headed to the airport for my wonderfully unexpected trip to Chicago....

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Finally....The Sledgehammer gets his shot!! Finally all the bullshit and all the naysayers will be silenced!! Finally.... Shark will be annoying and repetitive....WAIT....What was that James Shark does the very same shit he accuses one Vinnie Van Rose of, you say?? I call bullshit....What's that?? You have proof??

This was said by the IWF's resident Token Black Man, just this week "VVR is a skinny fuck that grew up in
a red barnhouse where he got raped by his father, and milked his cows. He likes to ride horses but sometimes
he thinks hes a biker. He wears a cowboy hat that looks like he got from some next flea market, and his face
already got re-arranged by my fist four times,so hes even uglier than how he looked when he walked into
the IWF."

...The colored fella clearly calls me country and ugly....Here is a quote from one particularly weak rant last week..."Homie, in ma recent promo I just made it loud and clear how ugly you fuckin are. How can a homie be so fucking ugly?. The bible probs says somethin like we gotta be confident with ourseleves and not care about what people think, but dog, how can you be CONFIDENT bout yo self?. Ofcoarse no man can be as confident as me, but how can you even come close to confidence lookin like you got run over, again and again, then got stinky faced by Death Angel?. You beat dog."

Clearly he has reffered to me as ugly two weeks in a row.... I see a pattern here....

In that same week he reffers to me as Gay and I believe brokeback, here is the quote "James Shark made fun of me, WAAAAAH"
"James Shark called me brokeback, I am not brokeback WAHHHH"
"James Shark called me gay, how can I be gay if I sucked ma mommies tits when I was young, WAAAAAH"
"James Shark wont stop making fun of me, get him to stop, WAAAAAH"

then this week he also reffers to me as gay and or brokeback "We can both agree that hes hungry for cock more than a title, and has more passion for staring in movies like Brokeback Moantain than being a IWF Wrestler."

....As you can see from ignorant bullshit filled statements like these, Shark should take his own damned advice and get some new fucking material....Week in and week out this ignorant prick calls me ugly, soft, hillbilly and gay and yet has the balls to tell me I am a broken record....Fuck you James Shark, Fuck you and that brokedown ugly piece of shit you rode in on....I will shut the fuck up when get new material, stop eating watermelon and KFC and stop dating white women. Since we both now that shit ain't stoppin' any time soon expect to hear my fuckin' mouth for a long long time. If it wasn't for that fucking prick Ridicule fucking my man CC and I up, we would have had you and your wigger boyfriend in the bag, but as usual you can't do shit for yourself. You always have some ho or bitch boy right there to fuck things up. Man the fuck up and do this one solo, it is for one of the biggest prizes this company has to offer after all. See ya Sunday My Nigga.....