Some feedback please?

I know people don't always like giving out feedback, but I would appreciate it this time. It's my first RP with a new character, I'm trying out a new style of RPing, so if anyone could give me anything about it, things they liked, things they didn't like, potential changes they might suggest, etc. Please let me know here

Thanks guys and girls!

No, shut your face.

Will nobody give me feedback?

What...A ...Bitch. But I have a feeling that is what you were trying to accomplish with your character. The fact that I wanted to throw whisky in the face of an imaginary woman and storm off, well I think that means you executed the character perfectly.

You might have lingered a bit too long on the fat jokes, but nothing to really make me lose interest and stop reading.

Also I do like the little viral video gimmick. I mean I've seen a lot of people try to avoid pop culture and modern trends entirely. It's a bit refeshing to see it used in such a way.

I'm always a little iffy of the cheerleader gimmick, but I'm glad you didn't go down the perky route I've seen too many times in my eight years.



You earned a star. Keep it up

Alright Molly. feedback time. I am really impressed with the "new talent" that we have been getting in here, and you are no exception. First up I enjoyed reading your RP. That is the main thing. If I don't enjoy it, then everything else doesn't matter, but that isn't the case here.

I feel that you did a good job on your CD. It told the hiring storyline of Molly, while simultaneously showing us the kind of person that Molly is. It was funny at certain parts, and did what a good CD should do. Develop your character. Hiring storylines have been done before, but you did it in a fresh, creative way. I am a sucker for creativity . I honestly can't fault your CD this week. Well done.

I quite enjoyed your shoot as well. I like how you used the whole viral video thing, embracing current times and using it to strengthen your character. Also, extra points for not only tying in your CD, but using it to strengthen your argument. Many people here, including me, often have clear lines between CD and shoots. While it was in fact a different scene, the fact that you used it speaks well for you as a writer.

Now the negatives. You first shoot paragraph against Rhiannon was done well. You made an empty insult, but tied it back your her in ring skill, and pushed your point out there which was well done. However, I thought the next paragraph against Diana was kind of lackluster, especially considering the rest of your RP. I mean yeh Diana hasn't been around long so there isn't much to go on, but all you really did was make fun of her physically, just making empty taunts. However this time, they weren't linked to anything, that was all your argument was. which made your character somewhat come across like she didn't really have anything meaningful to say.

Besides that though, I thought your RP was effective in showing us who your character was (a bitch lol), and was an entertaining and good read.

Keep up the good work.

Gordo.