Walker BG Feedback

Yeah, just tell me what you think, and How I can approve.

Cherrio.

Sup homie.

I read your RP twice. So, here are thoughts:

1. You did a good job with your character development portion; you do a good job showing how mean he is. Now, what I'd like to see further down the line is the REAL Allen. What I mean is, what he think internally, what drives his decisions, etc. But again, you are just introducing him to the IWF, so all that isn't needed right now.

2. Then came the "shoot" section. Now, the shoot wasn't bad. However, I do believe it could have been a bit longer. To me, it only seemed like you dedicated four or five paragraphs towards your actual opponents. In my opinion, your RP would improve if you focused a little bit more on this section. One thing I used to do is write the shoot part first, since technically it's the "meat" of the RP in most cases.

But as a whole, I enjoyed the RP. Please keep up the good work.

Hey There,

So I want to say first you are doing a good job, the anger and frustration Allen shows is great but maybe expand a little with some internal dialogue. and a little more description in what you are doing. As for the Shoot portion maybe split them up into each person when having multiple people in a match, then use the angry uptight I am better then you persona. I could recommend you watch some old shoots from William Regal, Chris Jericho, and Triple H watching them can be inspiring or even look at old RP's from guys you like here and see what they do.

Otherwise you are doing good and improving.