Ethan Cage & Gordon Fury [vs] Jason Gabriel & Griffin Hawkins

A Black Beretta M9 sits in an open case on a well-worn wooden table.  The gun is black, for the most part, but the sharp corners and raised ridges have been worn into silver lines that look almost skeletal on the weapon.  The black synthetic grips are stamped with a set of military Captain’s Bars with a name plate set beneath them, reading “J. GABRIEL”.  The letters “USAF” are engraved on the side of the receiver of the weapon.  The camera slowly tilts and pans out to reveal that the weapon and case is sitting inside a stall at a shooting range.  A set of red earphones hangs screen right on the wall.  Jason walks into the shot, dressed in a black T-shirt with a  red Cobra (as in the GI Joe enemy) logo that covers the front of it.  He’s also wearing blue jeans, black Wolverine boots and red-lensed shooting glasses.

He steps into the shot, removing the pistol and one of the magazines from the case.  He slips the mag into place effortlessly, pulls the slide to chamber the first round and flips the switch to FIRE.  He turns, pointing the weapon downrange and bracing it on the firing position.  He fires off the gun, going through all fifteen rounds rather quickly.  The camera can’t focus on Jason and the target at the same time, but from the looks of the black dots that appear in the blurry silhouette of the paper man hanging from the tracked runner overhead?  It looks like they all hit in a pretty good group, but that’s not important.  He turns to face the camera with the smoking, empty gun in his hand.  The slide is locked open, since the last round has been fired.  Jason presses the clip release and catches the empty magazine in his other hand, setting it on the table behind him for the moment.  He holds the gun up, sideways, for the camera to see.

Jason Gabriel: Beretta M9.  Pretty much the standard service pistol for the US Military.  At least until next year.  Look at this one, how the black has worn off the edges from how much it’s been handled and fired.  I got this pistol the day I joined the Air Force, and I’ve had it ever since.  Had it for a year in Iraq, it saved my life one day in Afghanistan…

Jason closes the slide with his thumb and shifts to holding the pistol in two hands, turning it over and examining it closely.

Jason Gabriel: You can see where my hand has made the back of the handle shiny here.  You can see where my finger rests on the trigger guard when I’m not firing.  I’ve had this gun for 14 years now.  I’ve kept it up, I’ve replaced parts of it, I mean it's on its fourth trigger, I’ve smithed it for competitions and practice, but I still have it.

Jason turns the gun back over, holding it in one hand again as he speaks.

Jason Gabriel: Now me?  I’m from Arizona.  Big, bright red state.  I won’t get too into my own personal politics except to say that I come from a place where the Second Amendment lives large and roams free.  I mean, the whole Gabby Giffords thing has gotten some people on the other side to speak up, but a lot of kids in Arizona still grow up shooting.  My dad, my brothers, even my sister would always go shooting.  It was a skill my father expected us to have.  Be able to defend ourselves if nothing else.  Some of us took it more seriously than the others.  My older brother and my father still go hunting in Colorado or Wyoming every year in the fall.  I didn’t go in for that, I’d rather tear a car apart and rebuild it while waiting for the Broncos game to start on a fall Sunday.  But I did grow up learning to use and respect a gun.  Needless to say, that helped me going ino the Air Force, where even though I was a mechanic, I still had to qualify before I could deploy to active warzones.

Jason Gabriel: I live in Colorado now, and I still don’t hunt.  Sometimes I let my dad and my brother use my place out in the woods if they’re hunting near there, and they usually swing by Denver if I’m gonna be home, but I still don’t hunt.  I do, however, own a lot of guns.  I mean, I got a lot.  I suppose it’s like any other collection, really.  I’m not some NRA nut, hoarding an arsenal or anything, but I have some guns.  I’ve got an assortment of hunting rifles given to me as gifts by my dad and my brother in hopes of trying to lure me out.  I’ve got a 454 Casull Taurus Raging Bull, that thing will crack an engine block.  I’ve got a Colt Peacemaker that used to belong to Bill Cody, hell that one doesn’t even fire, it’s just cool to have.  But of all the guns I have at my hose, and I probably have about two dozen, when shit hits the fan?  Or I should say, if shit were to hit the fan?  You know what I’m talking about.  Lying in bed, 3am, whomever is lying in there with you that you hold dear in your life says, “I think someone’s downstairs.”  If that happens?  I’m not grabbing the shotgun in my closet.  I’m not grabbing that 454, even though it can blow through quarter-inch steel.  The first thing I grab?

Jason pats his old Air Force sidearm.

Jason Gabriel: Old Faithful, here.  You see, there’s something to be said for familiarity.  There’s something to be said for simplicity.

Jason nods, turning and dropping the gun into the gun-shaped cut out in his case.  He slides the magazine into the reserve and closes the case, locking the combination locks by jumbling up their numbers.  He turns to face the camera, resting his hands on the table as he leans against it.

Jason Gabriel: I’ve previously elucidated the process by which the Stygian persona came into my life.  How Minesko Kiyagami forced the Reaper onto me, how Mike nelson and Eric Telfor refined that into Stygian, and how by the time I came it IWF, I was so lost in that role; so buried in that persona that I didn’t even know who I really was without it anymore.  I won’t go so far as to say it was a dissociative identity.  It wasn’t like I have bouts of aggression and would wake up in strange cities not knowing how I got there and who the women I was sleeping with were.  No, I remember all of that.  I never felt as though I couldn’t control myself.  But I did feel locked into a path that I couldn’t change.  Like an old RPG with variable endings.  Even though I knew I was locked into a bad one?  Well, you couldn’t go back and undo it in those old games.  You had to start all over, from the very beginning.  

Jason Gabriel: The thing with Stygian was, it truly was that I couldn’t get out from under it.  I was trapped under him.  Every costume was more extravagant.  Every entrance was more spectacular.  Every codpiece was…well, anyway.  I got to the point where I wouldn’t step in front of a camera, or go down to the ring that I didn’t worry about staying true to that persona.  Every conscious moment of my public life was so focused on how it was that I could keep in line with that image I held so dear.  And ever since I’ve left that image behind me?  Ever since Death Angel crushed Lilith and Lilah on that table and I had my drinking problem and that living hell I put Jaci Sovereign through that was trying to hold my hand through that mess?  Ever since I took every piece of Stygian I had left, carted it out into the Nevada desert and lit it on fire?  The remarkable thing about not being Stygian anymore is that I don’t have to think like him anymore.  I can reach for the simplest tool, like my old service weapon here, and just get the job done.

Jason shifts over to lean against the partition between the two shooting stalls in the otherwise-empty shooting gallery.  He folds his arms over his chest, staring into the camera through those red lenses he’s wearing.

Jason Gabriel: For example, this match?  Right here?  The current World Champion and the former World Champion across the ring from me, and another former world champion who just happens to be my opponent at From The Ashes?  Let me tell you what I would have done just a year ago.  I would have taken to Griffin, I would have worked with him, I would have towed the line and we would have absolutely destroyed Ethan and Gordon.  We’d have gotten the win, and left them lying haplessly in the ring.  And then?  As the ref raised our hands and “Cry Thunder” was playing?  And it would have been “Cry Thunder” because I would have planned it and executed it so that I not only got the pin, but I pinned you, Gordo.  I would have planned to have the second to the last thing people saw being me, who isn’t anywhere near the title picture, pinning the World Champion in the middle of the ring.  That would have been the second to the last thing.  The last?  The last thing those people would have seen is the referee raising mine an Griffin’s hands, and them me turning, kicking him in the nuts and Baneblading him in the middle of the ring.  You see Stygian would have carefully crafted this entire event so you saw him beating the World Champion and then definitively destroying his future opponent so that you started to think, “Why isn’t this guy the next in line for the title?”

Jason rights himself and remove his glasses, setting them on the table next to the case where his gun is locked.  He grabs the case, shifts it to the other hand and then takes the glasses, hanging them from the collar of his shirt and walking towards the exit carrying the case.  The camera follows him as he walks screen left.

Jason Gabriel: You see, that’s what Stygian would have done.  That’s why he never made any friends.  None of the other wrestlers, anyway.  He never cared what any of you thought.  Not the fans in the arena, not the boys and girls in the back.  It was all about him and getting back to that belt.  That’s definitely what Stygian would have done.  But Jason Gabriel is no longer burdened by the bounds of trying to live up to Stygian.  

Stygian gets to a door and opens it, the camera cuts outside to a view of a long hallway into which he steps, continuing to walk camera left and be followed by the camera from his left side.

Jason Gabriel: So let’s run this.  Let’s look over the circumstances piece-by-piece.  Piece number one, opponent number one, Ethan Cage.  Ethan, I have to say, I had my eye on you back then.  Not only I…he…he had his eye on you back then.  You see, Stygian wanted you.  He wanted you in the ring and he wanted to dismantle you.  He wanted to do it when he was champion.  And when he was wasting away in Colorado, drinking his pain and Jaci Sovereign away?  He labored under the delusion that he could still to it and take the title from you.  Of course, in those days, I couldn’t have beaten the fucking Ninja.  I was far too busy feeling sorry for myself and drinking…but you see, I’ve never really respected you, Cage.

Jason Gabriel: Oh I know what you’re going to say…”I beat everyone, I was World Champion.”  Well, everyone but Gordon Fury, obviously.  But here’s the truth about you, Ethan; you’re far better than you realize, but you was way too much time trying to prove it.  I understand the impulse.  I used to spend three months crafting a ring entrance I might only use once for a special occasion.  I can understand the need to project onto the world the image that you want to be known by when your stock in trade is to go out there every week and beat people into near-unconsciousness and submission with your bare hands.  It’s like Batman: If you can get them thinking, get them wasting their energy and time worrying about you on a subliminal level.  Me, I chose to scare people.  I chose to scare them and to make them jealous.  And it worked.  Stygian was a scary motherfucker.  And if you weren’t scared of him?  You were jealous of him.  Come on.  He always won.  He was almost always the world champion.  He had two unbelievably beautiful women on his arms.  He was everything you wanted to be and he let you know it.

Jason Gabriel: You, Ethan?  You tried to make people think you were crazy.  You tried to make them think that you were crazy, and that you didn’t care because you were supposed to be so much better than everyone.  You hire actors and perform little sketches of people playing your opponents so that you can put words in their mouths and then beat them down.  But it was never their words, because you didn’t have the intellectual capacity to match wits with most of this roster.  Say what you will about the Insurgency.  The tide rises, the tide falls, but it’s really one of the smartest locker rooms I’ve ever been in.  Intellectually?  You never could hang with it.  You just smart enough to know that you weren’t smart enough.  So you’d hire actors and have them play your opponents saying things they would never normally say, so you could spout off one of the myriad insults you’d stolen from Kevin Smith movies and look clever.  It was the dumbest thing I’ve seen since a guy dressed up like Doctor Doom and spent twenty minutes going into a psych lesson trying to convince a guy that he thought he was an action hero cliché.  And I know something about that, because I was that guy.  And it was terrible.

Jason Gabriel: For a while the poorly-written sketch comedy was your only trick.  Week after week you cranked out under produced Eminem videos that weren’t half as funny as Em’s stuff, and Eminem’s stuff mostly sucked.  I mean you were basically cranking out a cheap YouTube series.  Well, it wasn’t cheap, given that you were probably paying a couple hundred bucks to loan out the local community theater group of whatever town you happened to be in that week.  I mean shit, Action Figure Therapy was cranking out better stuff than you were and that guy didn’t even have to pay for actors; it was just his voice and his old fucking G.I. Joe figures. But the remarkable thing about you Ethan is that even though you were conducting yourself in the most banal and stupid manner even remotely imaginable; you were winning! That’s the remarkable thing Ethan Cage you were still…winning. You were winning like Charlie Sheen after a drug bender!

Jason Gabriel: You were winning matches and people were taking notice.  That should’ve been enough, Ethan. It’s not like you didn’t get rewarded. You not only won the Battle for the Briefcase, but after you lost it to guy who cashed in and won the title, you went and worked your way back up the ladder to earn another title shot and beat the guy who stole the briefcase from you! Like I said Ethan, you’re better than you realize, and you waste far too much energy trying to prove it. Because what was the definitive first act of your world title reign? What was the first thing IWF World Heavyweight Champion Ethan Cage did? The first thing anyone really remembers about you being champ Ethan, is that you sent your manager out to whine and cry like a little bitch and then you followed him out, proceeded to call a little boy into the ring and beat him with a steel chair. You claimed it was because you weren’t getting enough respect are getting enough notice or what the hell ever was, to be honest I don’t know. I didn’t understand that action. I realize I was in FTW at the time but I still followed IWF from my DVR. I watched that and I literally said, “What?” If Jaci and I were still on speaking terms she could verify that, cause she was there. I find it ironic that the—what was he, nine years old? I find it supremely ironic that the nine-year-old was the most mature man in the ring that night. Here you were; World Heavyweight Champion and because people weren’t bowing down to kiss your ass quickly enough you get the nine-year-old with a steel chair. You threw a fucking temper tantrum!

Jason Gabriel: I know what the message you thought you were sending was. And to be honest most of the people saw you deck that kid and they heard what you wanted them to hear from it. They took a look at it and said, “Oh shit! Ethan Cage is serious! Ethan Cage is a bad dude! Ethan Cage doesn’t take shit from anyone! Ethan Cage is crazy!” Yeah, that’s what the morons all said. You know what I said, Ethan? I took a look at that little boy lying in the ring and you standing over him laughing like a Saturday morning cartoon villain and I said, “Did the IWF World Heavyweight Champion really just need a steel chair to beat a nine-year-old?” I can understand if you were frustrated. I can understand that you thought maybe you were being a little overlooked. I don’t think you realize that you are bringing that on yourself because of your stellar YouTube- quality interviews. But you probably weren’t afforded the respect you probably should have been accorded given your win-loss record and the fact that you had just beaten Griffin Hawkins to become the world champion. And believe me, I more than anyone else possibly on the face of the planet understand using the cheap heat to get people to notice you. But hitting a kid with a chair? Was that really necessary? If you wanted to rile people up and get under their skin let me tell you; you could’ve gotten a lot farther with a Lebron James jersey and a bad attitude. That’s what you don’t seem to understand Ethan. This business is about 1000 subtle little moves you make to craft their perception and then enact plans along those lines and that’s something I understand even though I’ve quit using the name Stygian and performing under his persona.

Jason Gabriel: I know what you’re probably going to come out with, now. Because the biggest event of the year is looming and you don’t have a partner for the dance right now. Brandon MacDonald gets to fight Gordon Fury for the world title. Griffin and I? Well, we couldn’t settle things in one match, so this time were going to bring a cage into it and whoever’s feet hit the floor first wins. Not only do you not have a rematch for your title, but nearly every active former world champion on the roster has other plans and none of them include you. You’re gonna be worried. You’re gonna be wondering, “What becomes of Ethan Cage if he doesn’t have a great opponent at From The Ashes to rebound from losing his title against?” I know what I would do, Ethan. I would look across this ring… Fuck it, let’s skip all the fancy rhetoric and let me just tell you: I already told you what I would do. I’d make my peace with Gordon long enough to win the match, I’d make sure I was the one who got the pin and then I stabbed Gordon the back and leave them lying underneath his own world title as the show cut out.

Jason Gabriel: That’s simple, that’s direct; and “simple and direct” are two things you have never been in your career, Ethan. So what’s actually going to happen? Well, you and Gordon you get your asses kicked and then next week you’ll probably send your manager out to cry and moan some more before you…I don’t know, maybe for you next trick you’ll sodomize an old lady with a microphone. All of your success has been in spite of yourself, Ethan. You rose up when the roster was down and you couldn’t hold on long enough to make a mark. But now Brandon Macdonald is back, Alexander Remington’s back, and from what I understand—even though he’s fairly busy running the company—Alex Dillinger is about a hair’s breadth away from being cleared return to the ring once again. And then there’s me. I never got to get in the ring with you when I was going by Stygian. However Jason Gabriel got into the ring with the former world champion and pinned him on pay-per-view. You know all that time I had to fight through that image I made. I always had to make people realize that it wasn’t the dark coats or the pretty girls, the beatings I put down were all me. Griffin Hawkins believes that, now. To his credit, Griffin Hawkins believed that all along. I don’t need to hog the spotlight and stabbed my partner in the back to send a message this week. In fact I’ll send a stronger message by carrying my own weight and making sure that Griffin I get our hands raised at the end of the night. The name is gone, but it was always the man. It was always the man underneath that won the matches. I plan to show the current and the former world champions of this company exactly that, Sunday night.

Jason makes his way past the front desk and through a glass double door, out into the late-afternoon sun. He pulls a set of keys out of his pocket and points them at a red Cadillac CTS with a rental car company’s logo on the license plate frame. He pushes a button on the key fob and the trunk pops open a little bit. Jason pulls lid of the trunk open and carefully sets his pistol down inside. He slams the trunk closed and then hops up to sit on the trunk resting his heels on the bumper of the car as it slowly tilts backward underneath his added weight.

Jason Gabriel: Gordon, Gordon, Gordon Fury… never thought I’d see you here. I never thought I’d see you like this, Gordon. But look at you! You’ve put on about 20 pounds, from the looks of it. 20 pounds of gold and diamonds and leather. Now you know the feeling. You know what it’s like when they hand you that thing, and they told you all on how heavy the damn thing is; but it feels like a feather that second they handed to you and announce your name, doesn’t it? I know the feeling, man. I’ve been there five times now, in three different companies. Trust me Gordo, it never gets old every time they hand it back to you. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say; never thought I’d see it handed to you in the first place! I admit I took one look at the way you were when you first came into this company and I said, “That kid will never make it to the top.” I mean you were what, 20? You were too skinny, you are too naïve, you’re always had this goofy grin on your face and you laughed at your own jokes far too much.

Jason Gabriel: But hey, I could be wrong. I’ve been wrong a time or two before. Sometimes it’s even cost me. So, just when Ethan Cage look like he was going to start rolling in be the unbeatable, unstoppable, implacable juggernaut; little Gordon Fury comes from a land down under and pulls the upset! Hey, good on you, kid! And the belt does look good on you, Gordon. But there is a strident difference between winning the title and being the World Champion. There is no learning curve, either. One day you’re walking out looking up at all the lights and seeing that guy in the ring thinking, “If I can just win this match, I’ll be the champion.”  The next thing you know they hand you this 20 pound belt that feels like it doesn’t weigh an ounce, and it keeps lying to you when you flip it up and rest it on your shoulder.  Because what you never realize the first time?  Is that you’re not just putting the World Title on your shoulder; you’re putting the world on your shoulder. Somewhere in every wrestler in that locker room’s life there is a dart board with a face plastered to it. Up until two weeks ago, that face was Ethan Cage’s. Now that face is yours. Now everyone in that locker room hates you. Everyone is jealous of you. Everyone thinks if they can get in the ring with you they can hold you down for three seconds and take the world off your shoulders. And your first act? Brandon Macdonald? It’s not easy. And if you send him off? It never gets easier. Ethan Cage is going to want a rematch if you can beat Brandon. Griffin Hawkins is going to think that he should be somewhere in the conversation because he’s a former champion. I think I see Parker Wayde still running around here somewhere. And don’t forget about me, Gordo, even though most people have since I grew my hair out and started limiting myself to one woman.

Jason Gabriel: And those are just the guys who’ve been there before who know they can get there again. For every one of those there’s 10 more guys coming up who’ve been mired in the middle and the bottom of the card, guys coming up from the developmental show, guys who are coming in from other companies wanting to be the Insurgency Wrestling Federation World Heavyweight Champion. They’ll come out of the woodwork Gordon, I’ve seen it happen. They will pop up like bad guys on Smash TV with no fucking warning that their coming for your head. They’ll come at you in the ring, out of the ring, in the back, in the parking lot…all because they think they can take that 20 pound weight off your shoulder. In theory becoming World Champion should be the pinnacle of your success and the height of the respect to receive; but the truth is far different. The truth is, you become instantly the most disrespected man on the roster because everybody and their dog thinks they can beat you. Every single person right now is re-watching the end of that match on YouTube or on the IWF website and saying, “Gordon Fury? That guys nothing. I could beat Gordon Fury! I should go challenge him for the title.” And you’re never going to surpass that, no matter how many guys you beat and hold onto that title through. It’s the nature of the beast. You have the thing that everybody wants, period.

Jason Gabriel: Nothing quite prepares you for it, Gordon. You’re going to see it for the first real time this week. You’re going to see it when you tag up with the man from whom you took the title and have to rely on that man against two former World Champions. A couple of weeks ago I would say I was the guy you need to worry about the least. I have to admit I was a bit self-conscious wondering if I could actually still be people they weren’t scared or jealous of me because of the image Stygian was projecting. But after what I went out there and did at Heroes Also Die? I had the at-the-time former world champion beat in the middle of the ring. I realize I was further along in my progress, and in trying to redeem myself using my own name and none of the gimmicks, then I thought I was. I think I’m world championship caliber once again, right now! And you can bet your ass I would love to send a message at your expense, Gordon, by kicking your fucking had often pitting you in the middle of that ring. And if I can do that, and then if I can beat Griffin Hawkins in the steel cage in a few weeks, I can’t say that I won’t look at this small little run I’ve put together And Say, “That’s two World Champions I’ve defeated in under a month. Maybe it’s just time for me to start throwing my hat back into the World Champion’s ring again.

Jason shrugs, before smiling into the camera.

Jason Gabriel: Now I suppose this is the point where I get real mean, look into the camera and spare a few obligatory indignant and angry words to my tag team partner for this week, who will once again be my opponent in two weeks on pay-per-view. But the truth is? I don’t want to. I don’t need to. You see Griffin and I don’t have that kind of acrimony. We had a match, it ended controversially, we disagree on who won and who lost, so we’re going to get into a cage and eliminate the pinfall and submission element that seem to complicate things last time. No hatred. No anger. We just disagreed over one match so were going to have another. And so this isn’t going to be the usual sort of chicanery that follows these kind of uninspired matchmaking blunders of whoever’s calling the shots. Don’t get me wrong, I like Alex Dillinger and I respect him very much, but this is some of the most unimaginative matchmaking I’ve ever seen.  “Oh, these guys fought a couple weeks ago, let’s make them be tag team partners and see what happens!” Invariably what always happens is one of the tag teams doesn’t get along the partners go out it and the team that is getting along scores a cheap win from behind while the other two guys are arguing. Let’s skip the suspense: the guys were getting along? Griffin and I are the guys who are getting along! I mean if I got married he isn’t that guy I would pick to be best man in the wedding, nor am I that to him; but we are couple of guys who can play on Xbox Live together. He’s someone I can hang out with when my girlfriend isn’t in town.  He’s the only other man I know who has every Danger Danger album on CD. My point here is: we don’t hate each other. The looming confrontation in a steel cage? I wasn’t born out of acrimony and hatred. The cage is because I had him pinned, he had me in a triangle and the ref honestly couldn’t decide who lost first. It’s just a way to take the ref out of the decision making process. We’ll go out will have that match one of us will definitively win and then we’ll move on. But you two? Well Gordon took Ethan’s world title, we all know Ethan is just a little bit unstable. He stomps and cries and throws his toys out of the pram when he gets upset. I know two things, Gordon. I know when I’m in trouble and I reach out to my corner? I know Griffin’s hand is gonna be there. And I know when you get comfortable and you turn your back on your corner? Ethan’s hand is going to be there, and it’s going to have a knife in it!

Jason laughs, sliding off the trunk and to his feet in one slick motion.  He points the key fob over his shoulder and unlocks the driver’s side door.  Then he turns on his heel and ducks inside the car, starting it up as the camera fades to black.

The scene opens up in... holy shit Gordo! A shitty motel! No fucking way!  Its not like there are set here every single fucking week ever!

Eat a dick.

Can’t, because I have no mouth.

Find a way. I am way too drunk to put up with your shit right now.

Anyway, the scene opens up in said shitty motel, and Gordon is lying on the bed, in his shirt and jeans from the night before, looking hazy eyed at the television, a bottle of alcohol in his hand.  Gordo I think you should lay off the alcohol.

Why do you say that?

The TV isn’t turned on.

...Oh.  I suppose it isn’t.  I hear a knock at the door and immediately let out a groan. A knock on the door means people, and they probably want to interact with me. I aint got time for that shit.

Yeh, cause you are SO busy now.

Shut up.

Gordon Fury: Go away, I’m asleep.

Chris Cryptic: Of course you are.

Its Chris. Woo-fucking-hoo.

Gordon Fury: Go away Chris, you have interrupted me from my busy schedule enough over the past month.

Chris Cryptic: Stop being a cock bag Gordo, let us in.

I curiously raise my eyebrow.

Gordon Fury: Us?

Chris Cryptic: Yeh, Lea’s here too.

Lea Idas: Who the fuck did you think was with him? The Lolipop Guild? , I swear to God Gordon, if you don’t open this door, I’m coming in through the window. There are HOBOS out here! And they look hungry.

Oh great, its Lea. Super woo-fucking-hoo.

Gordon Fury: Feed the hobos your clothes, then you can feel free to crawl in the window.

Chris Cryptic: I am going to murder you so hard your children will want to kill themselves. Don’t make me break down your door.  Again.

Gordon Fury: Can Lea PLEASE be naked?

Chris Cryptic: Just open the fucking door.

Gordon makes it look like he is climbing Mount Everest as he struggles to climb his seedy drunken arse out of bed, as he stumbles like a zombie towards the door, unlocking it, before taking two steps towards the bed and flopping face first onto it.  Chris opens the door and stands aside, motioning to Lea.

Chris Cryptic: After you.

Lea Idas: Do I get to smother him now or later?

Gordon Fury: As long as its with your tits, I don’t care.

She’s joking...mostly. But Gordon’s comment draws a murderous glare because, fuck he hasn’t managed to get much more than a line out without commenting about her tits.

Lea Idas: Keep it up, and the only way you’re seeing my tits is when I’m smashing your face with my head...that makes no sense. Nevermind. Shut up. Are you done wallowing in self pity? Because you’re cutting into my personal time here, and I’m shit with this whole friendly intervention thing. You’re drunk. You should be less drunk. And your options are be less drunk on your own with the caring support of your friends, or get knocked about the head a few times until you learn your lesson and THEN be less drunk.

Gordon mutters into the bed.

Gordon Fury: I’m not even drunk.

Chris Cryptic: You are holding a bottle of alcohol, empty, in your right hand.

Gordon Fury: Details.  Wait, intervention?

Gordon turns over and sits up on the bed.

Gordon Fury: The fuck are you talking about?

Lea looks at Chris but he shakes his head.

Chris Cryptic: You are on a roll, go for it.

Lea Idas: Oh...you owe me SO much for this. SO much. This might even be “pants” wearing favors here Chrissy.

Oh yeah, she went there.

Lea Idas: Look, Gordy. I love you like the obnoxious, loud mouthed little brother I never had, but you’ve got a serious problem sweetheart. And I know. God knows I watched Sib look for the answers to her problems at the bottom of enough bottles to recognize the symptoms. I don’t want to see you snap off like she did, and neither does Chris. You gotta find a healthier way to deal than drinking yourself absolutely shitfaced, all the time.

Gordon Fury: Look, I’m sorry for you two to have come here, but you have wasted your time. I’m fine. I’ll get out at around 6pm, go train at a gym for like, 6 hours, then come back to bed. MAYBE eat some KFC if I don’t feel like im gonna vomit.  Legit I have this sorted. I was doing this when I won the world title, so doing it now is no different.

Chris takes a step towards him.

Chris Cryptic: Dude you don’t fucking get it! It is obvious you are still hurting over the whole Blyss situation, and with all of this pressure you are drinking yourself into an early fucking grave! I’m not gonna stand by and let you do this to yourself!

Gordon stands up to face him.

Gordon Fury: Oh is that so? And it has NOTHING to do with the enormous amount of guilt you feel about what you did to Viv?

Chris is seething by this point.

Chris Cryptic: I am warning you...

Forget warning. See, this is the problem, you get a couple of dicks arguing in the same room and they forget all about the ticking time bomb off to the side just waiting for an excuse to go off. An excuse Gordon gives her when he brings up THAT situation. And hey? All those hours spent with her best friend the boxer? Probably work to her favor when she throws the right cross at Gordon’s face.

Lea Idas: I’m only going to say this once. So you listen God damned fucking close to the words coming out of my mouth Gordon. YOU have some issues, you can’t sit there and say that you don’t. You can’t say that you aren’t torn up over how things went down with Blyss because I KNOW better. But I swear to every God that is, was, and ever will be, if you try to turn this around on Chris I will beat the ever loving fuck out of you until you’re choking on your own teeth.  Chris is here because he cares about you, you stubborn asshole, so don’t you DARE fucking try to turn this on him. Just because you’re hurting, doesn’t mean you’ve got the right to try to drag everyone down with you. Christ, right now, you should be trying to step your game up, not being a complacent, mopey little dick.

And of course, as you do when you get verbally blasted by someone, Gordon proceeds to piss himself laughing.  What the fuck.

Gordon Fury: Shit Chris! She is a firey one. I AM the mother fucking ultimate wingman! I found someone as angry as you!  Thats AWESOME!

Chris and Lea both close their hands into fists as Gordon proceeds to laugh in their faces.  He sits back down on the bed as he finishes laughing.

Gordon Fury: Look, I’m sorry for bringing up Vivianna Amato, red hair, gorgeous bod, fucked Chris a couple of times, was apparently amazing.  I won’t mention her again.  Seriously but, people do lots of shit with their down time when they aren’t training.  Some people act all lovey dovey and fuck each other.  Exhibit A.

I motion to the “lovey dovey” couple.

That look like they are about to murder you.

Yup, that one.

Gordon Fury: And some people like to drink their weight in alcohol, in a divey, shitty motel room. Exhibit B.

Motions to himself.

Gordon Fury: For real though, I haven’t felt this good in weeks, I’m on top of the world, so you 2 have nothing to worry about. You can leave WHENEVER you want to, like now for example.

The intentional digs? Yeah, they aren’t taken well. Because as Gordon continues to rattle off facts about the ‘redhead’ Lea looks more and more like she wants to rip his throat out with her bare hands. She actually starts to lunge for him, though he’s saved, kind of, by Chris heaving her up off the floor. Because there’s no point in trying to save someone from himself if you’re just going to murder him. Instead, she settles for snatching up the nearest available object and lobing it at Gordon’s head as hard as she can.

Lea Idas: You’re an idiot. A complete. And total. Raging fucking moron. And I swear, I’m going to beat you to death. That’s exactly what I’m going to do. And I won’t even be sad about it right now, because you’re being a complete dick. Massive, giant, douchebag prick. I TOLD you this was a waste of time Chris. He doesn’t want help, and he clearly doesn’t care.

Gordon puts his hands up to block the object, and manages to catch it before it hits him in the face. Oh for fucks... its another bottle of alcohol.

Gordon Fury: Sweeeet. Thanks Pinky. And for the record, massive and giant does indeed describe my dick.

Chris struggles to hold Lea as she tries to disembowel Gordon with her bare hands, and Gordon does not seems phased at all.

Chris Cryptic: Lea, easy!  Calm down!  Babe calm down!

Lea Idas: Lemme go! Think of it this way Chris, you don’t have to convince him to go to AA if he’s fucking DEAD!

Pissed? Well, maybe just a wee bit.

Lea Idas: And YOU. You drunken son of a one legged, two bit whore, don’t you EVER call me Pinky again. Ever. Because the next time you do it, I’m ripping your tongue out. And then you can be a mute like Specter.

Chris Cryptic: and Gordon Fury: Like who?

They both look at each other with the “I have no fucking clue who that is” look on their faces.  Gordon then realises he should probably register the other things Lea said.

Gordon Fury: Wait, AA? As is The Fun Police AA? As in the dick holes I ALWAYS make fun off when I walk past them, because they chose to not be fun? That kind of AA?

Chris turns around and places Lea towards the door, standing between Lea and Gordon.  Chris turns back towards Gordon, while still keeping half an eye on Lea.

Chris Cryptic: Yes, that one. And we are going to it. Right now.

Gordon Fury:Oh cool, good for you. Have fun with that.

Gordon pops open the bottle Lea “gave” him, and takes a swig from it.

Gordon Fury: Oh god that tastes like wrinkley old cock!

...How do you know what wrinkley old cock tastes like.

Just shutup and go with it.

Chris Cryptic:...No dick head, I mean WE are taking YOU to AA.

Gordon puts the bottle down as he stands up to face him.

Gordon Fury: Ummm, no, no you fucking aren’t.

Chris Cryptic: Are you gonna make me do this?

Gordon Fury: I ain’t going with you, so I suppose I am.

Without another word, Chris takes a step to the side, and Lea’s eyes lock with Gordon’s.

Gordon Fury: ...Oh fuck.

Oh fuck indeed. It’s like Chrismas, Easter, Halloween and every other awesome candy filled holiday rolled into one. Green light and all engines go. The smile that creeps across Lea’s face is almost predatory, almost, but only there for a split second before she lunges for Gordon, hitting him with what’s probably the sloppiest spear...well no, because let’s face it, it’s NOT that hard to spear someone, it’s kind of just a midbody shoulder tackle. But that’s exactly what she does, driving, or at least attempting to drive him back towards the bed. Because he is kinda bigger than she is, but he’s also drunk so that might work in her favor.  She drives him onto the bed, and looks down at him for a split second, as sees a stupid fucking grin on Gordon’s face, which makes her let out a scream, before wailing on Gordon’s face, the sound of the impacts almost drowning out Gordon.

Gordon Fury: Totally... Worth... it...

This of course does not exactly help Lea’s temper, but as she raises her body to continue punching him, Gordon bucks his hips and flips her off of him, before standing up and backing towards the door.  Before he even realises what is happening, Chris gets behind him, and lock him in a...

Chris Cryptic: FULL NELSON!

Gordon Fury: Son of a bitch!

Lea Idas:: You are so lucky right now. You don’t even know.

Chris Cryptic: Now off we go to the AA meeting.

Gordon Fury: NO! NO! I FUCKING HATE YOU! LET ME GO YOU PIECE OF SHIT BALD MOTHER FUCKER!

Chris drags him somewhat against his will towards the door, but as he tries to pull him through it, Gordon wedges his feet in the door frame.

Gordon Fury: THIS IS KIDNAPING! I’LL CALL THE FUCKING COPS ON YOU!

Chris Cryptic: Lea... babe... be a dear and dislodge Gordo from the doorway please?

Lea Idas: Oh of course Chrissy. Happy to.

And she is. It’s kind of hard to keep your feet wedged when someone’s stomping down on them. Hard. With heels.

Lea Idas: Stop being such a bitch Gordy.

Gordon’s feet finally give way, and they get him outside to Chris’s car.  Gordon is desperate, he is out of options.

Gordon Fury: RAPE!  RAPE! I’M BEING RAPED! THIS BALD MOTHERFUCKER AND HIS PINK HAIRED DEVIL WOMAN ACCOMPLICE!

An old asian man from next door peers curiously outside his doorway, at the bald man with a seedy man locked in a full nelson. with a pink haired woman holding the seedy man’s legs.  The old asian man just shakes his head before going inside.

Old Asian Man: Fucking white people.

Chris Cryptic: Babe, care to grab the keys out of my front pocket and unlock the boot for me?

Gordon Fury: The boot? THIS IS A FUCKING KIDNAPPING!

Chris Cryptic: I am not putting it past you to dive out of a moving car to avoid this.

Lea Idas: If he doesn’t stop screaming, I’m stuffing your gym socks in his mouth...the dirty ones.

She means it too. She’ll really do it. But she lets go of Gordon’s legs in order to retrieve the keys, which of course would have to be in the front pocket. Of course. No no, focus on the business at hand, keys retrieved, she moves to unlock and open the trunk.  Chris heaves Gordon into the boot and slams it shut, before taking a breather.  Gordon of course takes defeat with the upmost of maturity.

Gordon Fury: I FUCKING HATE YOU! I HATE YOU BOTH! I HOPE YOU BOTH DIE IN A FIRE! THE SAME FIRE, BECAUSE YOU DON’T DESERVE ONE EACH!

Chris shoots a smile at Lea.

Chris Cryptic: Well, he seems to be taking it well.

Lea Idas: Oh yeah. He’s taking it with such grace...I think I cut my hand on his teeth.

Gordon Fury: SUCK IT BITCH! YOU ONLY KNOCKED OUT, LIKE 4 TEETH!

Chris takes a look at her hand, before kissing it where the cut is.

Chris Cryptic: There, I kissed it better,

Gordon Fury: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Chris Cryptic: You know what I think I need Lea?

She looks at him with a curious look.

Chris Cryptic: I think I need a drink.

Gordon Fury: I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!

Lea Idas: You know, I was just thinking the same thing. We do still have like, an hour before the meeting, plus the room’s on the way there...

Is she alluding to what it seems like she’s alluding to?  

She’s gonna fuck him.

Oh ok, just checking

Chris Cryptic: Why yes, yes it is.

Gordon Fury: I HOPE YOU GET HER PREGNANT AND THE BABY DIES YOU CUNT!

Chris Cryptic: Yeh, lets do that.

Lea Idas: Oh let’s. You know what else is in the room? Your dirty socks. Which can be shoved in his loud obnoxious mouth.

Chris Cryptic: Good point.

Lea Idas: And to think, I was going to let him see my tits if he’d just come along quietly.

Gordon Fury: YOU BITCH!

Chris holds his arm out to her.

Chris Cryptic: Shall we?

Lea smiles as she takes his arm, pointedly ignoring the screamed vulgarities from the trunk.

Lea Idas: Oh yes. Let’s. You know, I’m really glad we did this. I think it’ll be good for him. I know it made ME feel better.

Chris Cryptic: We are such good friends.

Chris and Lea walk out of the scene as the shrieks of Gordon are still heard as the scene fades to black.


The scene opens up the gym Gordon usually frequents.  He hasn’t been to this gym in a while, in fact he stopped going here when he broke up with Blyss.  No idea if it was on purpose or subconsciously, but as he walks but through the doors, world title over his shoulder, he looks around the room, stopping in his tracks.

Alot of memories in this place. Many weeks of preparation for matches, even before I first met Blyss.  Who would have known that when I agreed to train her, and our first training session in this very gym, that all of this would happen. Life is fucking insane sometimes.  I walk over to the lockers and put the title down, before taking a seat, facing the door.  Now to wait.

A few minutes later, Blyss walks in through the door. Her face has an unreadable expression but the way she moves is clearly showing how angry she really is. Still near the door, she stops and looks at him momentarily before looking away at the rest of the place.

Blyss Lockhart: Hey.

Yup, pretty much the reaction I expected. Not the one I wanted, but I’m not exactly surprised.  I stand up to talk to her.

Gordon Fury: Hey Blyss. Thanks for coming.

Blyss Lockhart: Well, you were pretty much begging...

She takes a few steps away from the door, still looking around. Then she turns to face him.

Blyss Lockhart: You said you wanted to settle this but I still say you’re gonna fuck this up again. I don’t know what else to tell you.

Gordon Fury: Yeh Blyss, good to see to you too.

She half rolls her eyes at him as he walks over to her.

Gordon Fury: Is this really what it has come down to? Have you truly lost all faith in me? I mean I want us to work through this, but if you truly have given up me, then I am just wasting my breath.  

I take a deep breath.

Gordon Fury: So tell me Blyss, are we done? Is there any chance left of salvaging something from this?

Scowling, she snaps back at him.

Blyss Lockhart: Are you serious right now? Like I said before, we were doing fine, better than a few weeks ago, but YOU had to go and ruin it. How am I supposed to answer this? I don’t want this to happen but YOU are making this difficult. Get it?

Gordon instinctively snaps back.

Gordon Fury: I never said it wasn’t my fault!

He calms down before continuing.

Gordon Fury: I know the reason we are still having problems in my fault, that is why I wanted to meet you. If we want this to work, I need you to believe it can, which means you have to believe in me.  I know you did once, but the question you have to answer, is can  you do it now?

Gordon looks into her eyes.

Gordon Fury: Can you believe in me?

She quickly looks away, walking closer to the door.

Blyss Lockhart: I... I don’t know. Okay? You can’t ask me that.

Quietly, she speaks again.

Blyss Lockhart: I did believe we can work this out. I thought it wouldn’t be so bad and that I could do it but when you said... when you said those things... it made me question things I’ve never thought of till then. Things I’m afraid to know the answers to...

Gordon Fury: Hey.

Gordon puts his hand under her chin and lifts her head up to look at him.

Gordon Fury: You need to ask the question. This is never work while you have doubts. Either we work through them, or we don’t.

She glances around the gym, smiling a little.

Blyss Lockhart: I miss this place.

She gestures to his world championship belt.

Blyss Lockhart: Look how far you’ve come... Seems so long ago...

She looks back up at him and sighs.

Blyss Lockhart: Like I said, it made me ask myself things I probably shouldn’t but since you asked... Well, was what we had a mistake? Did we jump into it too quickly? ...Do you regret it?

Gordon Fury: No. What we had together was NOT a mistake. Even now I don’t think that, and I never will.  We were just two people in shit situations who were drawn together.  Do you regret it?

Blyss Lockhart: ...No.

She takes a couple of steps back.

Blyss Lockhart: I don’t know why. I was just too angry and tired, I guess. But Gordon, please don’t get me wrong. I do want to fix this but at this point... I’m thinking, why should I? It’s not that I don’t... trust you but... in a way...

She struggles to come up with the right words to say.

Blyss Lockhart: I feel like I shouldn’t risk myself getting hurt again. You know?

I do know. I know all too well.

Gordon Fury: Blyss, I can’t be the one to tell you what to do at this stage. You know what I want.  The choice has to be on you.

I take a step towards her. She has nowhere to run, nothing to hide behind.

Gordon Fury: You have to take a risk. The same risk you took when you came to my motel room that night. The same risk I took when I told you... when I told you I loved you. This doesn’t have to end in tragedy.  But the leap of faith has to be yours, and you have to know, in your mind, that this is worth it. That I am worth it.

She takes a moment to think and with a slight frown, she makes her decision. There’s a bit of resignation in her tone.

Blyss Lockhart: Alright then... We’ll work through it. We’ll be okay.

She purses her lips then looks at him with a determined look on her face.  He looks back at her a smile creeping on his face.

Gordon Fury: I’m glad to hear it.  We will work through this, and we WILL be ok.  I promise you.

With that Gordon leans forward and hugs Blyss. She gives a tight smile as she hugs him back.

Blyss Lockhart: Okay, Gordon, yeah. Me too.

They both let each other go.

Gordon Fury: You got any plans now? Cause I’m hungry as fuck. Wanna grab something to eat?

She chuckles softly.

Blyss Lockhart: Actually, yeah, I have to go. Maybe next time?

She opens the door and hesitates to leave first so she waits.

Yeh I obviously was moving too fast, but can’t blame a guy for trying.

Gordon Fury: Of course, maybe next time.

I walk over and hold the door for her, waving her out the door.

Gordon Fury: After you. I’ll walk you out.

Blyss Lockhart:Okay, thanks. I’ll see you Monday... champ?

She grins a bit as she walks out of the gym.

I laugh as I walk out after her.

Gordon Fury: I suppose I will Blyss, I suppose I will.

Well for once, something actually worked out as hoped. I have managed to somewhat salvage the shit I had broken, and things seem to be on the right track. At least for now. That’s really as good as it gets at this point.

Gordon follows Blyss out of the scene as it fades to black.


The scene opens up in the gym that Gordo used to often frequent before his break up with Blyss. Since somewhat working things out with her, Gordon has spent a lot more time here, obviously missing the familiarity, or some shit like that.  He his standing in the wrestling ring at the back of the gym, wearing a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt, the World Heavyweight Championship over his left shoulder.

Gordon Fury: You know, I had missed this place. Not just for the familiarity factor, but for the memories I have created here, even before Blyss came into the picture. Every difficult match, every opponent I have struggled to prepare for, I spent hours on end in this very gym, training my arse off.  Training my arse off so that one day, I would be able to stand in this ring, with the world title over my shoulder.  And here I am.  It is a feeling like no other, knowing that you have shattered the glass ceiling, and are now standing on the top of the mountain. But I don’t need to tell any of you that do I boys? I don’t need to describe the feeling of holding this world championship, from standing inside a wrestling ring, knowing that you are the current lord and master of it. The feeling of this ring being YOUR domain, and wanting to defend it at all costs.  I don’t have to tell you, because all of you have had that feeling before, multiple times for some. The difference? All of you have had that taken from you.

It doesn’t matter whether people think I deserve it, it doesn’t matter whether people thought I wasn’t ready.  The fact is, I AM the IWF world heavyweight champion, and if I have anything to say about it, that is NOT going to change.

I shift the belt’s weight on my shoulder before continuing.

Gordon Fury: Now while my match this week isn’t for the title, you are damn sure that everyone has it on the mind. Jason is right in that now that I hold the belt, I have painted a giant target on my back. Everyone wants to end me, to prove they deserve to hold it more than I do, and that extends to the 3 men in this match. And I fucking relish it.  I said it when I was High Impact Champion, and I will say it again: I THRIVE on being a champion.  Its not holding this belt that is the reason I fought so fucking hard, it is the status of being Champion of the mother fucking world. The fact that everyone on this fucking roster wishes there were in my position, plotting my downfall to facilitate their own rise. I invite all of you mother fuckers to try. I am not a transitional champion like so many World Champions we have had in the past year, I have worked my arse off to earn this, and if anyone wants to take it from me, they will have to pry it from my cold dead hands.

Now onto the match. The funny thing about it is that on paper, Griffin and Stygian have the clear advantage as a team. They don’t hate each other, and their apparent rivalry is build on a single match being indecisive.  Whereas I just took the World Title from Ethan. The thing that defined him, made him who he was. So of course, odds are on Ethan losing his cool and stabbing me in the back, costing us the match. However, being in the ring with Ethan, and listening to him, those bets would be wrong.  I know I sound crazy, but they are wrong for one simple reason. As much as he may hate me, there is one thing he hates more: losing.

Ethan Cage is one of THE most prideful men I have ever seen, and takes every loss as if his opponent just molested his child.  Ethan would rather gargle acid than lose a match, ESPECIALLY intentionally.  So do I trust Ethan to have my back? Fuck no, not in the slightest. However, I DO trust that Ethan will do WHATEVER it takes to make sure he wins, and thats good enough for me.  If he wants to try and attack me afterwards, then we will cross that bridge when we get there.

Gordon walks over to a corner and leans into it.

Gordon Fury: Now onto my opponents. Here we are again huh Griff? 3 time we are facing off against each other.  Now I know I don’t have to remind you what happened the first two times do I?  Too fucking bad, cause I’m gonna.  You lost Griffin. I was green as fuck, just off my win of the first title in my CAREER, you were well on your way to a world title shot, and I beat you. Twice. In a row. And that was when you have momentum.  Now?  Now whenever a match comes along where you need to step the fuck up, you fail.  You failed twice agaisnt Ethan, and you failed against Stygian.  It SHOULD have been me vs. YOU for the world title, but you couldn’t fucking get the job done.  Both of us have right royally gotten into your head Griff, and not even Stygian can save you.

Speaking of Stygian, oh sorry, Jason, my bad.  Anyway, you have this big bad person of some great near unstoppable Juggernaut, and you want us to think we are the underdogs.  Well you have proven since your fall from grace Jason, that you are very much human.  You broke under the pressure, and it almost destroyed you.  If talking about how hard being world champion is was supposed to psyche me out to give you an advantage, I’m afraid you have failed, and have only fueled my fire to outlast every single fucking one of you.  

You and Griffin are entering this match as if you are favoured, as if beaten Ethan and I will be easy. And when you both are looking up at the lights, when Ethan and I get our hands raised, you will realise that you both were wrong. The champ is here, and I make a statement this week, at your expense.

Its time to face the fury...

...Mate.